But now, a new pain welled in him.
'Maybe I drew her away! Maybe it's my fucking fault! Everytime she tried to talk to me, I'd either tell her that she's stupid, or to shut her pie-hole or even worse. God, I even told her that talking was for people who had something in common! We did have something in common, we were a couple, and now, maybe she's running to Kelso because I didn't try to hear her out! Man, I deserve this! It's my fault! I'm so stupid!" he kept murmuring this little speech over and over, raking a shaking hand in his curly hair.
The door knocked. He knew it was Forman.
"Go away Forman. I don't wanna talk."
"Come on Hyde, I snaked a couple of beers from the fridge! Let me in so we can, you know, get wasted!" Eric said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Leave me alone Forman, I don't want your beer or your company. I need to be alone to think!"
"Fine, sure, ok Hyde, I'll come back later."
"Don't bother!" Hyde spat back.
He started pacing again, faster, taking longer strides, angry strides. He was now only angry at himself. Jackie tried to talk to him, but all he did was push her away. She tried to get to know how he felt about his family, life, her, but all he did was shove her questions off and french her. Now, as guilt washed over him, he understood why Eric and Donna's relationship was so strong. They talked things through. But, he had to be the heartless bastard he was, and destiny had already kicked his heart around like a Packers game. That's why he had always said he didn't feel anything. He tried to be zen so that the anger didn't leek, so that he didn't become violent in any way whatsoever. Being Zen taught him self control, one so strong it could keep his anger, hate and everything that went with it in check. But when Jackie came into his life, she kicked down the wall he had built to protect himself. He felt, no, he knew, that all Jackie did was bring out the best in him. And what did he give her back? Nothing but this. He closed his eyes, and there she was, in all her glory, dark hair flying, crimson, sensual lips smiling, her clear liquid eyes sparkling like refined diamonds. There was the truth, the only truth there could ever be. Seeing Jackie in his mind's eye, smiling at him made all the anger fall like the foam from a beer retracted. He felt content, and maybe for the first time in his life, he knew Jackie should be his. He opened his eyes. The daydream faded. He was alone once more.
Donna left Jackie sleeping in her own bed. She told her everything was gonna be alright. Jackie had shown a brave face for a while, but then had broken down sobbing worse than before. Donna made her some tea, then took her upstairs in her bedroom where she tucked her in and told her to sleep, and that everything will look begtter in the morning. Donna only left when Jackie, tired from crying had slipped off to sleep. She tiptoed out of the room, and she went downstairs. She had to go to Eric's house. They had to fix this mess. Halfway down the driveway, she met up with Eric, who was going to her house.
"Donna, Hyde doesn't wanna talk to me. I mean, normally, if I offer him beer, he'd do anything! But this time, he told where to stick it."
"Eric, Jackie is really down. I mean, remember when we broke up and we were down? This is like more down. I feel so bad for both."
"Yeah, me too." Eric said.
"This reminds me so much of..." Donna said, not finishing her sentence. A single glistening tear made her way down her smooth cheek.
"Oh, come here! We're together now, and we'll find a way to put Jackie and Hyde back together, I promise." he said, hugging her tight.
Hand in hand they went to the basement.
Hyde was still pacing. 'Yeah, anger fuels you up.' he thought. Guilt had to be the worse feeling in the world. It wiggles itself in, going in each and every one of your thoughts.
'It devours you man.'
The door knocked again. That made him lose his line of thought.
"Hyde, let us in."
He recognized Eric's whiny voice. He knew that he and Donna wanted to help, but could someone actually help now? But why not take the risk, they could teach him a thing or two about long relationships. Before he made the choice, his hand reached over and unlocked the door. Donna and Eric came in, both of them looking sullen. Before they could look at him, he grabbed his glasses and put them on. So that they couldn't read his eyes.
"Hyde, we need to talk." Eric said.
Hyde sat down and looked at them, telling them silently to go on.
"Hyde, Jackie feels really bad. She didn't mean what she said one second. She said that she did it because she had never actually faced her pain. She just bottled it up, and when she saw him kissing Annette, it was all the pain she tucked in a secret part of her heart that rushed out all at once. It's just a habit. I thought you should know." Donna said.
Hyde looked at her, his eyes wide. Anger flickered in his eyes. He got up.
"Look Donna, I don't blame Jackie for doing what she did. It's all my fault."
Eric and Donna looked at each other, confused.
'Maybe I drew her away! Maybe it's my fucking fault! Everytime she tried to talk to me, I'd either tell her that she's stupid, or to shut her pie-hole or even worse. God, I even told her that talking was for people who had something in common! We did have something in common, we were a couple, and now, maybe she's running to Kelso because I didn't try to hear her out! Man, I deserve this! It's my fault! I'm so stupid!" he kept murmuring this little speech over and over, raking a shaking hand in his curly hair.
The door knocked. He knew it was Forman.
"Go away Forman. I don't wanna talk."
"Come on Hyde, I snaked a couple of beers from the fridge! Let me in so we can, you know, get wasted!" Eric said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Leave me alone Forman, I don't want your beer or your company. I need to be alone to think!"
"Fine, sure, ok Hyde, I'll come back later."
"Don't bother!" Hyde spat back.
He started pacing again, faster, taking longer strides, angry strides. He was now only angry at himself. Jackie tried to talk to him, but all he did was push her away. She tried to get to know how he felt about his family, life, her, but all he did was shove her questions off and french her. Now, as guilt washed over him, he understood why Eric and Donna's relationship was so strong. They talked things through. But, he had to be the heartless bastard he was, and destiny had already kicked his heart around like a Packers game. That's why he had always said he didn't feel anything. He tried to be zen so that the anger didn't leek, so that he didn't become violent in any way whatsoever. Being Zen taught him self control, one so strong it could keep his anger, hate and everything that went with it in check. But when Jackie came into his life, she kicked down the wall he had built to protect himself. He felt, no, he knew, that all Jackie did was bring out the best in him. And what did he give her back? Nothing but this. He closed his eyes, and there she was, in all her glory, dark hair flying, crimson, sensual lips smiling, her clear liquid eyes sparkling like refined diamonds. There was the truth, the only truth there could ever be. Seeing Jackie in his mind's eye, smiling at him made all the anger fall like the foam from a beer retracted. He felt content, and maybe for the first time in his life, he knew Jackie should be his. He opened his eyes. The daydream faded. He was alone once more.
Donna left Jackie sleeping in her own bed. She told her everything was gonna be alright. Jackie had shown a brave face for a while, but then had broken down sobbing worse than before. Donna made her some tea, then took her upstairs in her bedroom where she tucked her in and told her to sleep, and that everything will look begtter in the morning. Donna only left when Jackie, tired from crying had slipped off to sleep. She tiptoed out of the room, and she went downstairs. She had to go to Eric's house. They had to fix this mess. Halfway down the driveway, she met up with Eric, who was going to her house.
"Donna, Hyde doesn't wanna talk to me. I mean, normally, if I offer him beer, he'd do anything! But this time, he told where to stick it."
"Eric, Jackie is really down. I mean, remember when we broke up and we were down? This is like more down. I feel so bad for both."
"Yeah, me too." Eric said.
"This reminds me so much of..." Donna said, not finishing her sentence. A single glistening tear made her way down her smooth cheek.
"Oh, come here! We're together now, and we'll find a way to put Jackie and Hyde back together, I promise." he said, hugging her tight.
Hand in hand they went to the basement.
Hyde was still pacing. 'Yeah, anger fuels you up.' he thought. Guilt had to be the worse feeling in the world. It wiggles itself in, going in each and every one of your thoughts.
'It devours you man.'
The door knocked again. That made him lose his line of thought.
"Hyde, let us in."
He recognized Eric's whiny voice. He knew that he and Donna wanted to help, but could someone actually help now? But why not take the risk, they could teach him a thing or two about long relationships. Before he made the choice, his hand reached over and unlocked the door. Donna and Eric came in, both of them looking sullen. Before they could look at him, he grabbed his glasses and put them on. So that they couldn't read his eyes.
"Hyde, we need to talk." Eric said.
Hyde sat down and looked at them, telling them silently to go on.
"Hyde, Jackie feels really bad. She didn't mean what she said one second. She said that she did it because she had never actually faced her pain. She just bottled it up, and when she saw him kissing Annette, it was all the pain she tucked in a secret part of her heart that rushed out all at once. It's just a habit. I thought you should know." Donna said.
Hyde looked at her, his eyes wide. Anger flickered in his eyes. He got up.
"Look Donna, I don't blame Jackie for doing what she did. It's all my fault."
Eric and Donna looked at each other, confused.