Note: Okay, only one day late! One day! That's practically on time well, for me. *g*

Chapter Nine

Renee felt like time had stopped, the moment drawn out and stretched like a bowstring pulled tight. Howlyn was behind her. Ledah was in front of her. She didn't want to turn her back on either of them.. In one movement, Renee had pivoted and taken a step back so that she stood at one corner of a triangle. To her right, Ledah. To her left, Howlyn. Behind her, an empty corridor perfect for running away. That wasn't an option.

Renee didn't look at Howlyn. Couldn't. Instead, she dropped her eyes to the floor and said, "My king." Her voice barely trembled.

"Howlyn," Ledah echoed her. "Have you finished greeting the first of the Five so soon?"

"Formal greetings bore me, Ledah, as you well know." Howlyn said. He was watching her, Renee thought and felt heat flash through her as she thought of his eyes moving over her body.

"Impatience always has been your downfall." Ledah said, hidden amusement rippling in her voice.

"I have not your companion, Ledah." Howlyn said, and there was something about the way he drew out the words that made Renee think of secrets and dark places. Damn it, she thought. She wasn't going to let him do this to her again.

"Really?" Ledah asked brightly. "She is one of Lord Avaren's Protectors. I was sure you must have seen each other before."

"Perhaps." Howlyn said in a growl. "However, we have not been introduced."

"Oh." Ledah said. "How unfortunate."

Something was seriously wrong here, Renee thought. What was Ledah doing? Was it possible that she was teasing Howlyn? She risked a glance over at Howlyn and saw that his hands had tightened into claws.

"It is more than unfortunate." Howlyn said, his voice low and deadly. "For you."

Renee took a step backwards and thought longingly of the empty corridor behind her.

Ledah's laugh was wholly unexpected and Renee looked at her without thinking. Ledah was smiling, her eyes on Howlyn.

"Peace, my king." Ledah said. "Renai?"

Renee looked at her. She could feel Howlyn's eyes on her. Don't say it, she silently pleaded with Ledah. Ask me to leave. Order me from the castle. Just, don't -

"Renai," Ledah said formally. "It is my great honour to introduce you to Howlyn, your King and our Master."

Fuck, Renee thought.

"Renai" Howlyn said. His voice lingered over the word, tasting it, and hearing him say what was almost her name in that tone made Renee desperately wish that she'd chosen another alias.

Renee had to look at him now, but she deliberately looked only at his throat. She couldn't stand to look in his eyes; she was too afraid of what she might see there.

"My King, I am at your service." Renee said, completing the formal exchange.

She heard the hiss of his indrawn breath.

"Yes," he said. "You are."

And then his hand had grasped her chin, forcing her head upwards. Their eyes met.

The world fell away. His fingers burned where they touched her. Fire against her skin and an inferno in his eyes. In their eyes, Renee dizzily realized, feeling the heat leap between them like a living thing. Howlyn's eyes were very dark and very close.

"Howlyn," Ledah said from far away. "I believe that Renai was just about to tell us the name of her mate."

Renee blinked and took a step back, away from Howlyn. She looked over at Ledah and saw that the other woman was wearing what could only be described as a smirk. Bless you, Renee thought fervently.

Howlyn, on the other hand, looked murderous.

"I" Renee said, and faltered. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Ledah asked curiously.

Renee thought fast. "The heirs of my Lord my previous Lord," she clarified. "Made me swear not to disclose my association with their tribe."

"Interesting." Ledah said. "And your mate is one of their remaining protectors?"

"Yes." Renee said. That made sense. Right? "If I told you his name, it would be a betrayal of my oath."

"You are a loyal creature, aren't you." Howlyn said, and it was not a compliment. His voice was edged with something sharp and dangerous.

"Of course, my king." Renee said without looking at him. "It is my nature."

Renee remembered that much about Protectors, anyway. Like the Taelon companions, they were inalienably loyal to those they served. She sincerely hoped that it was bred into them and not chemically enforced. God forbid that she start wanting to protect Lord Avaren or, even worse, Howlyn.

"And what of your loyalty to your king?" Howlyn said in a deceptively calm tone. "I wish to know the name of your mate."

Renee's lips twisted. You wish, she thought, to find my mate and kill him. Good luck.

"I'm sorry, my king." Renee said with mock sadness, averting her eyes. "I can't tell you."

"This may be a security risk, Howlyn." Ledah said. "What if Renai's mate is a known rebel?" She sounded almost serious for once.

"Unlikely." Howlyn snapped.

"But possible." Ledah replied just as quickly.

"Perhaps I should leave the castle," Renee said quietly. "I would not want to cause problems for my Lord."

"No." Ledah said.

"No." Howlyn said.

Damn, Renee thought. Of all the things for them to agree on.

"I should leave you two alone," Renee said. "To discuss your options." She was already backing away as she spoke, staring at the ground in front of her because it was too risky to look at Howlyn.

"Thank you, Renai." Ledah said, and when Renee looked at her she was smiling. "I will speak to you later."

Renee nodded. "Of course. Ledah. My king." She inclined her head in farewell and turned to go.

"Renai!" Howlyn's voice was harsh. Against her better judgement Renee turned back and looked at him. He was watching her intensely, and she felt something click in her when their eyes met, like a light being turned on in a dark house.

"At sunset tomorrow," Howlyn said in a voice that had suddenly mellowed to velvet. "At the third training ground."

"My king?" Renee asked.

Howlyn smiled, his teeth very white in his golden face. "You will show me how to fight with weapons, will you not?"

"O- Of course, my king." Renee said, and hoped he hadn't heard the betraying stutter in her voice.

Howlyn's smile widened. "Thank you, Renai. I was sure that you would not deny me twice."

Renee swallowed hard and dropped her eyes. Nodding, she turned again and walked quickly away down the corridor. She heard nothing but silence behind her. And fought the urge to run.

Renee barely remembered the walk back to her chambers. The only thing she could think of was getting a door between her and Howlyn before he and Ledah finished their conversation. He would come after her, she knew that down to her bones. He would always come after her just like she would always go after him. Renee shook the thought away.

She needed help.

Renee looked up at the door to Lord Avaren's suite and sighed. And turned away.

It took two hours of wandering before Renee finally found it. Two hours of eyes watching her everywhere she went, two hours of holding her back ramrod straight and looking at no one. By the time Renee finally saw the console she'd been looking for, her back ached and she was jumping at shadows. But none of that mattered now.

It was the work of a moment to make sure that no one was coming down any of the corridors. It took substantially longer for Renee to convince herself that this was the right thing to do.

Finally, Renee stepped towards the console, her face falling into blank lines. Resting one hand on the keypad, she put the other hand over her eyes.

"Contact." Renee whispered, and felt the pain in her hand like an old familiar friend. It pulsed through her in waves. She counted the waves. One two the pain died away.

"All right." Renee said aloud, taking her hand away from the console. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and impatiently pushed them away. Two days wasn't a long time, after all. She could handle it. She could handle anything.

What choice did she have?

When Renee stepped inside Lord Avaren's suite, the inner doors were open. Renee approached them cautiously. Enemies, she thought. Assassins.

"Renai?" Lord Avaren called from within. "Come."

Renee stepped inside. The inner chamber was roughly ten times the size of her own, with a smooth floor and low ceilings but still no windows. Rough groupings of furniture were scattered around the room, and the walls were covered with glowing screens. There was no visible bed, though Renee did spot a curtained alcove.

Lord Avaren was sprawled in a chair by a collection of screens that glowed dimly, reflecting faint washes of color onto his solemn face and - how did he know my name, Renee thought - and Juin and Kairn were standing behind him, watching her. She thought about running, but she had the sinking feeling that the main doors wouldn't open for her.

Schooling her face into a neutral expression, Renee walked towards them. It seemed to take a long time to cross the room.

Lord Avaren touched the pad built into the arm of his chair and Renee heard a soft whoosh from behind her as the door closed. Juin was smiling at her. Kairn was not. None of this was a good sign, Renee thought. In her mind's eye, she was already trying to figure out how to kill Lord Avaren before her fellow guards killed her. Maybe killing him would make a difference. Maybe it would be enough.

"Did you want me?" Renai said to Lord Avaren, stopping in front of him. She met his cold eyes with innocence and thought about crushing his throat with her hands.

"Some concerns have been raised, Renai." Lord Avaren said in an icy tone. "I can no longer allow you to keep the identity of your previous Lord from me."

Howlyn, Renee thought and almost growled.

"I still cannot tell you," she said simply. "I have made my oath. I will live by it."

"Even if it costs you your life?" Lord Avaren asked.

Out of the corner of her eye, Renee saw Juin start to move towards her and Kairn pull him back. Still, there was only one thing she could say.

"Yes." Renee fixed the Lord with a burning gaze. "I am a Protector. I serve my Lord now, and after death."

Lord Avaren's mouth tightened into a thin line. "And if your Lord was my enemy? What then?"

"I will not betray my first Lord, but I serve you now, and I will not knowingly bring you harm." Renee said. She could probably kill him before Juin reached her.

"Make me believe it, Renai." Lord Avaren said. "Tell me that you are not one of the rebels and make me believe."

Renee looked him in the eye and said, "My Lord, there is nothing that I want more than to stay on this planet. I will not leave here while I live." She held his gaze, trying to force him to accept the truth of her words through sheer force of will.

"And if someone tries to take this planet from us," Lord Avaren said slowly. "If your mate tried to take control, who would you choose?"

Damn you, Howlyn, Renee thought fiercely. No time to hesitate.

"If anyone tries to take this planet from my people, I will kill them." Renee said, and meant it. Howlyn's face flickered across her mind and she said, "Even if it is my brother, even if it is my mate. This is our world, not theirs."

Not yours, Renee wanted to scream. Her lips parted in a feral snarl as she thought of the world she'd left behind and all the death that was still to come.

There was a pause and she knew that she'd gone too far. They didn't believe her. Any second now Juin was going to lunge at her; she had to move first. She -

Lord Avaren smiled. "I believe you."

Renee barely processed the look of horror on Juin's face and Kairn's smile. She was too busy telling her muscles to unbunch, her legs to straighten, her hands to uncurl. No killing tonight, she thought, and was too strongly aware of her own disappointment.

"You may go now," Lord Avaren said. "I believe you have an appointment at sunset?"

"Yes, my Lord." Renee said warily.

"Do not make it too easy for him," Lord Avaren said with a dry smile. "He appreciates a challenge."

Not trusting herself to speak, Renee nodded and left without looking at the other guards. She didn't really mind that they'd been willing to kill her. She would have killed them first. But there was no point in seeming too forgiving, better for them to wait and worry. She smirked to herself as she entered her sleeping chamber.

It took about five minutes to check that everything she'd set up had remained undisturbed. By then her smirk was just a fading memory. Renee curled up in the rose-bed and played absent-mindedly with the petals.

He appreciates a challenge

What the hell did that mean? Renee thought.

Howlyn would be waiting for her when she woke up. She wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

That day, Renee dreamed.

_______

Tell me what you think?

Man, I love the dreams. So much that it scares me. *g*

(On an unrelated note, I thought I was waiting to get this back from Blue Angel turns out it was nestled happily in my Drafts folder instead. Yikes. Sorry, guys. Also, darn. I love it when I get to have things checked out first. It makes me happy. *sigh*)