Confrontation.

(Author's Note:  This is the final chapter of the story.)

(WARNING!!!  THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG CHAPTER!!!)

***

WWE had a tribute show the following week for Lita.  All of the storylines were forgotten, all of the feuds were done away with.  Even the roster split was done away with so everybody on the roster could walk onto the entrance ramp for the moment of silence and 10-bell salute.

Steve Austin and Debra even showed up.  Having first-row seats.  Right next to me.

All for one night.

All for her.

It was one of the highest rated episodes of RAW ever.

***

(TWO MONTHS LATER)

***

He and I went to get coffee after the funeral, got to know each other, and became good friends.  He was right.  I also needed somebody with whom to mourn Lita's death.  Whenever we saw each other, and started to think about her, one or both of us always broke down.  We went with each other to put flowers on her grave twice a month.

We helped each other.

We comforted each other.

And we needed each other.

After a while, the house across the street from him went on sale, and I jumped on it.  He and I saw each other every day.  He was very friendly to me when I moved in, and didn't object once.  He helped me move in.  He helped me introduce myself to the neighborhood.

And he never once asked to see the tape I made that night.

***

One day he was over at my house, helping me unpack some boxes that I had littering the floor.  He pulled out a collage that I had made of him when I was younger.

He looked at me and held it up.  "I assume you're a fan?" he said.

I gave him an annoyed look and took it from him, finding a place on my bedroom wall for it.  "Yes…for your information, I am a fan.  An obsessed fan.  A crazy fan."  I gave him my best 'evil psycho bitch look'.

He chuckled.  "Oh, I already knew that."  He sat down and took a sip from his iced tea.

I noticed a picture on my collage of him in the ring that had a female arm cut off on the border of the photo.  The tattoo on the arm, however, clearly gave away her identity.  I closed my eyes, remembering her from that night.  Regretting that I wanted to harm her.  I heard him sigh behind me.  I turned to look at him and saw that he was looking in his wallet.  I knew the photo he was looking at was of her.  And I knew what he was asking himself.

"You still can't fathom a reason why Lita would want to die, right?"

He looked up at me…his eyes showing the misery he felt.  "She loved life.  I still just cannot believe that she ended it herself.  I know she did.  And you were there when she did.  I just haven't fully accepted it yet.  Every night, I expect her to call me and ask me to come over because she couldn't sleep.  Or for her to walk into my bedroom and place herself in my arms because I couldn't sleep.  Or for us to go out and drive around until the sun rises, and then go to her place and sleep on the couch until 2:00 PM, just in time to watch Days of our Lives.  She cheated on me, numerous times.  But she still loved me.  I couldn't keep myself from loving her.  And now that she's gone…"

His words failed him as he hung his head.  I saw drops of water fall from his face as he broke down into sobs.  I suppressed my own grief, and walked over to him.  I crouched down and took his face in my hands.  I lifted his face up to look him in the eyes.

"It's okay for you to still love her.  For the dead, that's really all they have.  The love…or the hatred, from those who are still alive.  So, don't stop loving her.  Don't stop mourning her.  If her memory dies, then her soul, if she had one, will have nothing."

A single tear fell from my eyes as I finished speaking.  He and I hugged each other then.  Rocking in each other's arms.  Comforting each other.

I decided that I needed to offer him something.

"I'm giving you the tape."

"No.  I don't want to see it."

"I think you should.  I think you're beginning to hate yourself for not being there to either stop her, or so you could hold her.  This way, you can at least know how she thought of you when she died.  I'm giving you the tape.  Whether you watch it or not is up to you."

He leaned back to look me in the eye.  Then he pulled away from me and wiped his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, he responded:  "Alright.  I'll take it."

***

(TWO MONTHS AFTER THAT)

***

Over the months, we got a lot more familiar with each other's personality quirks, and became a whole lot more confident in our friendship.

One night we were backstage before a live RAW when he asked me: "You ever think of becoming a wrestler?"

I replied with a witty and very creative: "Sometimes."

"Stay here.  I'm gonna go find somebody, and maybe they can take you out to the ring and show you a few things."

"Is that ok?  I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Sure, it's fine."

***

Ten minutes later, he came back and took me to the ring.  I looked in the ring and couldn't believe my eyes.  He got Trish Stratus in the ring to show me some of the basics!!!  She's my favorite woman wrestler EVER!

I stepped in the ring, and shook her hand…trying hard to keep from squealing in excitement.  We introduced ourselves.

"I'm gonna go shower and change for tonight.  See you two later," he said before leaving us to our own devices.

***

After learning how to bump, Trish was showing me how to do a sleeper hold.  She and I were talking with each other.

"So, how do you two know each other?" she asked me.

"Well, I've been a fan of his for years."  My voice took on a kind of somber tone on the next sentence.  "And I met him at Lita's funeral."

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she released the hold.  "So you're the girl he met there that he's been gushing about."

I did a double take.  "Gushing?"

"Yeah.  He says you've really helped him deal with her passing.  He considers you to be one of his best friends ever.  And the way he talks about you…  Never mind."

My curiosity is piqued, to say the least.  "How does he talk about me?"

I can tell she's being careful with her words.  "The same way he talked about Lita.  Before they got involved with each other.  But look.  You can't ask him about this.  If he finds out I told you, he'll have my head."

"Okay.  I won't ask him about it.  But I gotta ask you.  What do you mean by 'the way he talks about you'?"

She got quiet.  "He likes you.  And by 'he likes you' I mean 'he likes you'.  He doesn't know it yet, but he does like you.  It comes through in his voice when you come up.  His voice just…gets brighter.  He's less gloomy when he's talking about you.  That's what I meant."

I just stand there, silent.  Then I regain my senses, and say: "Umm…I think we'd better stop.  I'm not going to be able to concentrate on what I'm doing."

"Listen, I'm sorry if I upset you any."

"No Trish.  You didn't upset me.  I just need a while to process this new information."  I extended my hand.  "It was great 'bumping' with you."

She rolled her eyes.  "You don't know how many male wrestling fans I've gone out with have said that to me.  Even if nothing happens, which is often."

"Ha ha ha!!!  I'll have to remember that."

***

I went backstage and watched the show on a monitor.  I cheered when he and Scott Steiner defeated Batista and Triple H in the main event…earning a few odd looks from other wrestlers gathered around the monitor.  Trish just kinda giggled to herself.

Afterward, he and I went to a Waffle House to eat.  Then we went back to my house, which wasn't too far from the arena.

"Here.  I don't need this anymore."

He handed me a tape labeled with one simple word.

Lita.

I took it out of the case and saw that it was rewound.

It was at the end of the tape when I gave it to him.  "You watched it."  It wasn't a question.

His response was cold and emotionless.  "Yes.  I watched it.  And we're both going to watch it right now."  He took the tape out of my hand and put it in the VCR.  He turned on the TV, and pressed play.  While the tape was playing through the little sexual bit at the beginning, before I broke down into tears, he looked at me as he sat beside me on the couch.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I want to know the whole story.  I trust that you will tell me the truth about everything."

I tensed under his gaze as I heard my own words from four months ago.

"Because I've been luring you into a trap."

***

"First off Lita, I've been stalking you for about nine months.  Ever since you started dating your boyfriend.  I've watched you two very closely.  And I know the true state of your relationship.  He thinks that you love him…but I believe that you only see him for a good lay.  And that you only sleep with him when you're bored.  I'm not going to sugarcoat it…I'm sick.  And I'm fuckin' madly in love with your boyfriend.  I have been for years.  Since before you ever debuted in the WWF."

He paused the tape.  He hadn't once taken his eyes off my face.

"Fuckin'…madly…in love with me?"

As you could imagine, I was uncomfortable with what was happening.  I weakly responded: "I told you myself that I was crazy.  That was before you saw this, so you shouldn't have been surprised by that."

"I thought that you were just a little bit unbalanced.  I didn't realize that you were a RAVING LUNATIC!!!"  He screamed the last two words at me, and I almost jumped out of my seat because of his anger.

He hit play again.

***

"So…you were planning on killing me tonight?"

"Yes Lita.  I was going to kill you after we fucked.  It was going to be brutal and messy too.  I was going to fuck you with the barrel of a fully loaded pump-action shotgun, and unload the weapon inside your body as you orgasmed."

She lost all of her color as I revealed how she'd have died…if I had more control of my goddamned compassion.  "That is…oh god…urp…"

She ran to the wastebasket in the room and vomited.  I winced when I heard the terrible sound.

He paused the tape again.

"Were you serious?  Is that how she would have died if you had carried out your plan?"  I hesitated a little bit in my reply.

"ANSWER ME!!!"

"YES!!!  Goddamn, yes!  I was going to mutilate her.  I was going to kill her in the most brutal way I could think of to kill a woman.  I felt like she deserved it at the time."

He reached out and clutched my throat in his large hand, squeezing it a bit.  After about a minute, he let go and I took in a deep gasp of air as I leaned forward and coughed.

He pressed play again.

***

"Why?  Why do you seem to hate me so much," she asks.

"Oh yes…I'm sorry, I got side-tracked.  Like I said, I believe that you're just pretending to love your boyfriend so you'll have a backup fuck ready when you're not on tour."

She shook her head.  "No.  You're wrong.  I love him.  I really do."  I grow angry with her upon hearing this.  "Oh really?  Then why the fuck do you sleep around behind his back?  I saw you take three men into a motel room in one night once.  At the same time.  Is this what 'love' means to you?  He looks the other way, while you fuck as many people as you want?"

She looked at me with tearful eyes, yet…even though she knew my intention to kill her, there was no fear in them whatsoever.  "You don't understand.  He knows about my sleeping around.  I told him after I had been cheating on him for three months.  But he forgave me.  He forgave me.  I begged him to dump me.  Told him he was too good for me.  But he wouldn't hear it.  So…I started to get more extreme in my infidelity.  Taking on two or three guys at once.  And even videotaping it and showing it to him."

She began to break down into a sobbing mess at this point, and continued through the sobs.  "He still kept me.  He still loved me.  So, I started to fuck around with women.  And, you said earlier that you think that I only fuck him because of boredom.  I assume you've seen us.  The reason that I don't let him make love to me…the reason I don't let him fuck me…is because I'm not worth his passion.  It's not a lack of desire for him, not at all.  I simply don't consider myself worthy of him.  That's why I've been trying my damndest to make him see how worthless I am."

She continued.  "The only reason I haven't killed myself to free him from me is because I know how much it would pain him.  He would think that he somehow didn't love me enough…when in fact he loves me too much for his own good."

Then she looked right into my eyes.

"But you.  You're willing to kill so he'll be happy.  You've already done such.  I almost wish you had murdered me.  He'd be lucky to have a girlfriend such as you."

I look at her askance…I don't know what to say in response.  I don't even know if there is a response for something like that.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"No.  I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.  You know…you're wrong.  You are worth his love.  Because you think you could never be good enough.  You love him so much, that you wish you were a goddess who could bestow on him untold happiness."

He paused the tape again, and forced me to look him in the face.  He was near tears.

"She didn't think she was good enough for me.  That's why she killed herself?  A stupid reason like that?  One that could have been solved by simply talking with me?"

"I told you at the funeral.  I was there, I heard it, and I still don't understand it."

"And I replied by saying that there is no understanding when it comes to suicide.  And I know that."

He let go of my face and pressed play again.

***

He fast-forwarded through the rest of the tape until Lita bolted up in response to her nightmare.  Her last dream.

"I'm sorry," she says between sobs after she had calmed down a bit.  "I had that nightmare, and woke you up.  And I don't even remember what it was about."

"It's alright Lita.  That happens to me sometimes too."

"Can we just…talk?  Y'know…about random stuff?  Because it's very apparent that we're not going to be able to sleep now."

"Do you want me to shut off the camcorder?"

"That thing's still on?  No, don't bother."

"Okay.  What did you want to talk about," I ask as I lay back down, bringing her back down with me.

"Ask me some questions.  Anything."

"Why don't you think you're good enough for him?"

"After he and I had been dating for about two months, we were cuddling on his living room couch.  He's got such great arms for cuddling…anyway.  He and I began to brush softly against each other.  Brushes became strokes…strokes became fondling…fondling became groping.  Long story short, we didn't make it to the bedroom…"

"I wasn't 'fresh out of the package' when I started dating him.  Not nearly.  There was Matt…of course.  Jeff and Essa too.  But before I got in the WWF…I was 25 when I got in.  I lost my virginity when I was 16…nearly 10 years prior.  But still, even with such experience behind me…nothing could have prepared me for him.  And I believe that he even put more effort behind it because he loved me.  I had 5 orgasms, three of them a result of anal.  It was just so unbe-fucking-lievably good.  Too good."

When she finished speaking, she took my hand and guided it to the crotch of her thong.  My eyes widened when I felt how soaked it was.  "You feel the reaction I have just because of the memory of that first time.  It was the single best fucking I've ever had.  Remember…last night when I said the fucking you gave me in the car was one of the top two I've ever had?  My first time with him is number one.  You were better than three men all jamming me at once.  But nothing could be better than him.  Nothing.  Nobody.

"When we were both completely spent, he withdrew from my behind and carried me to the bed, like newlyweds going over the threshold.  He kissed me, and left to take a shower and wash the shit off.  While he was showering, I simply lay there, wasted, covered head to toe in a thick layer of sweat, and drowned myself in thought.  I began to feel guilty for some reason that I still haven't figured out.  The more my body reveled in the aftershocks of our deed, the more dread my soul felt.

"I felt even more dread when I found out that I was only his second.  I felt so terrible.  He's 6 years older than I am…and he'd only been with two women, while I was 27, and had had at least 15 men before him.  This didn't bother him though.  He just felt such unbelievable love for me that he didn't care if I had had a thousand men before him.  But I felt terrible.  I mean, it was all before I met him, and I didn't even know he existed when I popped my cherry…but I just felt so bad.  And, then…a week later…he made love to me.  It wasn't fucking like our first time, but I felt even more pleasure when it was over.  And even more sadness that I didn't wait.

"I began to feel like I didn't deserve him.  Like I wasn't good enough.  But I knew that he wouldn't dump me, and if I dumped him…he loves me so much.  I believe that he'd kill himself if I dumped him.  So…I decided to try to make him dump me."

He paused the tape.  I saw tears falling down his face.

"She thought that I gave her too much love.  She didn't realize that there's no such thing."

I reached over and took a tear from his face before it reached his goatee.  "She loved you.  She didn't think that your being stuck with her was the best thing for you.  I think that she believed that she was performing the greatest act of love possible when she killed herself."

He looked at me.  "Is that really what you think?"

"Yes."

He fell silent as he hit play again.

***

"That's why you've been fucking so many people behind his back."

"Yeah.  I told him after three months of cheating.  He didn't believe me, so I began videotaping it and showing it to him.  You have no idea how terrible it feels to do something like that to somebody you love, and hear them say 'I forgive you'.  Time and time again, he said those words to me.  Even while I was having fucking bi-sexual orgies and showing them to him, he would not show any anger to me.  I don't even think it's hurting him at all.  And it's not like he gets off on watching me fucking those strangers, not at all.  He's not like that.  He simply cannot show his anger to me.  If he indeed does feel anger toward me, he vents it all in the ring.

"Sometimes I wish that he'd beat me to death for what I've done to him.  I just want to die so badly.  I really do wish that you had murdered me last night."

"I'm sorry Lita.  But…if I were to kill you, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt, because you actually feel remorse for cheating on him.  'Speed Bump' never showed anything but contempt for his feelings, that's why she is a literal speed bump now.  And last night you said 'He'd be lucky to have a girlfriend such as you.'  Well, if I did kill you, I know that I'd kill myself right afterward, so that whole point is moot."

"I'm thirsty.  Can I go get some drink?"

"Yeah, the kitchen is downstairs, to the right."

"Thanks."

He paused the tape again.  This time I spoke first.

"I always wondered why you never showed anger toward her.  Tell me."

He took a slow breath.  "Because my love for her was perfect.  Perfect.  There was nothing that she could ever do to make me love her any less.  And it was impossible for me to love her anymore than I already did.  Her cheating did hurt me, and it did make me angry.  But, I never ever wanted to dump her.  I loved her too much to want to give up on our relationship.  I just loved her too much…"

He got quiet as he hit play again.

***

He fast-forwarded until the camera showed Lita at the sink.

I see Lita, wearing only her thong, leaning over the sink with her hands under the water.  The water coming from the faucet is clear.

The water falling from her hands is red.

"LITA!!!" I cry out.  I run toward her, placing the camera on the table.  It's still recording.  I grab her arms and pull her away from the faucet.  I look in the sink and see a steak knife with large bits of flesh between its teeth.  I see that there's a lot of blood in the sink.  I look at Lita, who has slumped against a chair at the table…my eyes shooting along her arms.

She had slashed her wrists.  The water from the faucet had been running into her wounds…making the blood flow faster.  She wobbled back toward me, and pushed her arms past me, trying to put her cuts back under the flow of water.  I turned off the water and sat her down into the chair that she slumped against.

"Lita…why?" I demand, my eyes becoming moist.

"You know why," she weakly responded.  Her skin was already cold to the touch.

"This will only hurt him," I say with desperation.  I run to a cabinet and pull out a first aid kit.  I open it to pull out the rubbing alcohol and some gauze…but she uses a last reserve of strength and kicks the kit out of my hands, sending the supplies flying throughout the kitchen.  She falls out of her chair and curls up on the floor…the blood continuing to flow from her wounds.

"No.  I want to die.  I need to die.  He'll mourn me…I know…but this is better than constantly not believing that I'm good enough.  My pain, my guilt, my sins against him…will all be washed away by nothingness."

My heart breaks as I hear the weakness in her voice.  "NO!!!  Don't you dare give up on yourself, on him, or on me!  Do you hear me?  Please…let me help you."

"You want to help me?"

"Yes!!!  Please."

"Then…carry out…my final request."

I cry as I realize that she wants no part of trying to stay alive.

"What is it you want me to do?" I say…giving up on trying to make her come to her senses.

She slowly brought her hands to my head, cupping my face in them.  They felt so terribly cold.  I could smell the coppery scent of her blood as it flowed down her arms.

"Don't let him…mourn me…alone.  Become what I…never could be.  Worthy of his passion.  Worthy of his love."

"He's going to want to know how I knew you.  I'm going to your wake," I say.

She motioned to the table.  "Then…show him…this tape.  Not immediately, but when you think he's ready…for the truth."

Her arms fell down to her sides.  I knew it couldn't be long now.  "Promise me," she begged.

I lean down and take my last kiss from those lips, sobbing when I feel their icy touch.  I pull her into the tightest hug I've ever given…in a vain attempt to contain her soul in her body.

"I promise Lita.  He won't mourn alone."

She smiled.

"It's time for me to go," she said.  "Goodbye…my dark…temptress."

I felt her body go limp in my arms.  I sat back and began rocking her in my arms.

"Goodbye, my innocent victim."

***

He stopped the tape.

Tears flow freely from his eyes now.  As well as mine.

"She wanted you to take her place," he says.

"It seems like she did," I say as I wipe my eyes.  "But I know that's impossible."

"You did fulfill one of her requests."  He looked at me.  "You didn't let me mourn her alone."

I look at him.  "I couldn't.  I knew that you would be devastated by it.  And in the one night that I knew her, I knew that I would need somebody too."

He looked contemplatively at the tape's box.  "Maybe she planned for this to happen.  Maybe she realized that you would mourn her too.  Maybe she knew that we would become friends."

"Heh…I don't think that's all she meant for us to become."

"Me either," he said.  "But if that's ever going to happen, we're going to have to come to an agreement right now.  And even then, there's no guarantee.  Although you are my type," he said with a quick wink.

I'm glad that the mood is lightening a little bit.  And I ask him: "What kind of agreement?"

"If anything happens between us, we have to agree that neither of us will make the mistake Lita made, and think that we're not worth the other."

I contemplate it for a bit.  "Deal.  If anything happens, I won't get all depressed and suicidal like she did."

He laughed at the way that I put it.  "Great."

"I think you'd better leave now.  I'm going to be getting drunk in a few minutes, and I don't want to risk anything happening between us right now!"

"Ditto.  See you tomorrow?"

"Maybe.  If I'm not too hung over."

"Good."

I wait until he reaches the front door.  Then I call his name.

"Kane!!!"

He turned around.  His long hair flowing through the air as his head moved to face me.  "Hmm…?"

"Sweet dreams."

He nodded and winked.  "You too…"

He left.  And I went to the liquor cabinet and broke out some Jack Daniel's.  As I poured the whiskey into a glass, I looked at a picture of Lita that Kane gave me, and I had placed over the fireplace, and toasted her.

As I threw back the whiskey, I looked at the empty glass and wondered.  Maybe Lita did plan on Kane and I becoming friends.

As I look at the photo on the mantle, I notice something that I never saw before.  I run to the kitchen and grab a magnifying glass.  I inspect the computer monitor in the background.

"I'll be damned…"

It was on FanFiction.Net, and the story was my pride and joy.

Big Red Broken Heart.

***

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

(Author's Note:  Expect an "Author's Note" chapter to be posted a few days after this that will explain the whole story, how it came about, and why it FAILED to live up to the original dare.)