here we go then, more strange disturbing-ish junk. Incidently, when I said before that you shouldn't read it if you like harry, what I really meant was that you shouldn't complain.

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"What d'you mean I can't get paid? You said proof of demise!" ysel's voice began to take on more of a whine than usual. The suspiscious black-cloaked figure stepped back hurriedly.

"Look, you wer5e suppossed to kill him, not splatter him. I mean, just because his feet are sticking out doesn't mean he's necessari;ly dead."

"He's flat for Daiyu's sakes! How could he possibly not be dead?!" Suspicious man glared at her evilly.

"To be honest, i don't realy care wether you think it's fair or not. I am not going to pay you, and that's that. The master didn't tell me to pay you. And there's nothing you can do about it, shortarse."

Ysel gave him the evil death glare. "And who did you say you were working for again?"

"The Dark Lord."

"Right. okay then."

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"But professor, how could it possibly work? Surely if Harry dies he stays dead?" Hermione attempted to talk sense into the semi-crazed headteacher. Or at least, succeeded in talking sense at him, which is nearly the same thing.

"Well, no you see, it has something to do with potential reincarnation." Dumbledore scratched his head and Snape looked embarrassed by association.

"But professor, that's never been proven."

2Well, that's as maybe, but because it could be true it's just as real as if it were happening." He frowned at their blank faces. "It's like that muggle invention, amazing thing you know. They have a cat, and they put it in a box it's dead and alive at the same time. Amazing."

"proffessor, are we talking about some sort of undead zombie cat?"

"No, no. It's just thgis thing whereby stuff can be real and imaginary at the same time, so long as it can't be proven otherwise."

"But that's absurd! I mean, using that sort of logic you could just as easily state that there is an inaudible, invisible dinosaur that we cannot feel, smell or taste living in the library! It's ridiculous!"

Dumbledore looked horror struck. "Oh my god! invisible dinosaurs in the library! AIEE!" and he fled.

Snape shook his head sadly. "I should never have let him watch the discovery channel." he muttered.

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It was dark, and it smelt bad. harry carefully unpeeled himself from the floor where he'd landed and opened his eyes. Okay, it wasn't dark, but it did smell. he looked around, searching worriedly for any psychopathic vertically challenged hairy-feet people, and, finding none, relaxed and began to make his way to the exit at the other end of the alleyway.

once out in the street he was forced to re-think any plans he might have had for just wandering up to the nearest Tourist Information center and asking them where he was. the street was full of people, and things, and on closer examination some of the things turned out to actually be people as well. There were numerous humans selling things on the pavement, people on horseback shouting at the people in the roads, short round people in chainmail armour that made harry more than a little nervous until he realized that they had beards and were therefore probably dwarves. And trolls too. Harry stepped back shocked and no little amazed to see a couple of the huge hulking creatures go lurching past, knuckles dragging along the floor as they went but still not clubbing anyone over the head and trying to eat them. he stood staring blankly at the semi-organised chaos in front of him.

Wandering at random he made his way up the street, looking around and trying to notice whatever it was he was supposed to see that would guide him. he was sure that Dumbledore had mentioned something about a guide.

Suddenly someone ran up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Harry turned and was imensly relieved to find that the someone was proffessor remus Lupin, the old DADA teacher. He quickly grabbed Harry by the arm and hustled him off the street and into a nearby -

Well, he supposed it was a pub. There were no signs outside, but the inside was full of people drinking and there was a bar, so he presumed that's what it was. The people seemed a little odd, however, but fortunately he couldn't quite tell why; the room was almost entirely unlit.

Lupin sat him down and brought him a dink of fruit juice. And launched into imeadiate lecture mode.

harry's brain switched off as the werewolf proffessor droned on about how Harry should pay more attention, which is almost a shame, as had he listened he would almost certainly have lived a little longer.

Suddenly Lupin was interupted by a deep, dark growly voice behind him as it said "We don't like yourrr sssorrrt in herrre."

Lupin turned around and then began to look very woried indeed. The growly dark voice belonged to a werewolf type-thing with a long muzzle, big clawed hands and fetid dog-breath style drool. Lupin quickly told Harry to leave, and he did so, running blindly out of the door and into the busy street.

He ran around looking for someone who looked like they might be able to help and finally settlled on a vry skinny-looking man with long wizardly robes and a big hat with "Wizzard" written on it.

"Please can you help me? My fr-" Before he'd even got the words out the "wizzard" flinched and snapped quickly "No."

"What? Why not?" The "Wizzard" sighed.

"Look, every time someone comes up to me and says 'I need your help' something really bad happens, so I'd really rather not."

"But I really-"

"No."

2Fine then. Come and help me or I'll hex you." The skinny guy glared at him as Harry took his wand out and waved it around at him a bit.

"You really don't want to do that." If Harry had actually been paying attention, he would have noriced that the man's voice sounded more worried than threatening, but he didn't notice. He waed the wand in a complicated swishing motion. "Im-" He didn't get very far.

Unbeknownst [Isn't that just such a good word?] to him, a large wooden brass-bound chest on hundreds of tiny little pink legs had crept up behing him and as he made to hex the wizzard it opened up wide and then snapped shut.

"Urgh." The wizzard looked away quickly.

the Luggage stopped snapping and the Wizzard looked back. 2I don't want to know what you did with him, just make sure you don't do it again."

The Luggage looked ashamed for about 3 seconds and then spat something out.

It was a pair of craked, blacke rimmed glasses.

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there you go, I told you I would. Are you enjoying it yet or o you just think I'm evil? Whichever one it is, worry not, just review this stuff I wrote and tell me. Any flames will be fanned and fed and even tually used to warm my cold, freezing house. I don't like winter much.