TITLE: Forget Me Not
AUTHOR: Sanny
E-Mail: Sanny_c24@hotmail.com
STATUS: Complete
RATING: R
SPOILERS: Stargate Motion Picture, Children of the Gods, Cold Lazarus, A Matter of Time, The Nox, The Broca Divide, Beneath the Surface, Upgrades.
CONTENT WARNING: Drama, Hurt/comfort, Graphic medical situations, mention of torture, rape and sexual content.
DISCLAMER: I do not own SG-1, though I wish I had, this story is for enjoyment purposes only, no money was exchanged, the Stargate characters are owned by MGM, GEKKO and ShowTime, any other characters and the story belong to the author.
AUTHOR NOTES: Please read and review, reviews mean a lot to me so please don't be shy and leave one.
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Forget Me Not – Chapter one
Col. Jack O'Neill was the first to step
through the wormhole on the other side of
Jack turned around and looked over to his 2IC and Teal'c.
"Do you guys have the same feeling I do?"
"I think so Sir"
"What feeling is that?" Teal'c's eyebrow shot up.
"Oh just that we should dial home right now"
"Yes Sir" said Carter immediately going for the DHD and starting the dial sequence. She was just entering the 4th symbol when she felt a throbbing burning pain to her left shoulder. She fell to her knees with a painful cry; Jack's gun was already firing at the general direction the attack was coming from and Teal'c drew his staff and started lying cover fire for Col. O'Neill as he tried reaching Major Carter's position. As he reached her she was entering the 6th symbol, he crouched next to her entering Earth's symbol himself and pressing the round circle in the middle of the DHD, he entered his SG-1 code on the GDO and supported Carter all the way to the steps of the stargate, Teal'c kept on covering his teammates standing next to the event horizon. On the last step to the stargate O'Neill fell forward taking Carter with him, she remained on her knees disoriented as Teal'c pulled her by her right hand through the shimmering circle of blue; he then bent forward grabbing what was left of Jack's vest and dragging him unceremoniously through.
Once back on Earth the iris closed and the wormhole disengaged but not before several powerful blasts came through destroying half of the gate room with near misses to the people present. However the gate was not as lucky.
"What is going on here?" shouted General Hammond from the control room before taking the stairs to the gate room. Dr. Fraiser had already been called and was on her way running, entering the gate room with the General, she saw Carter first and went toward her when she was pulled forcefully by Teal'c, that was when she saw Jack, and his injury registered in her mind, his back was completely exposed, the weapons used by whoever was on that planet evaporated his 3 layers of clothing as well as the skin on most of his back. The red blood and the black scorched skin emitted a horrifying smell, Janet didn't know where to begin. She felt her insides rising back through her throat and had to place her hand on her mouth to refrain from vomiting. Teal'c took charge for a second, picking Jack and lying him gently on the gurney face down, Janet's doctor mode kicked into action and she was yelling orders at the staff while pushing the gurney along towards the infirmary, Carter was being supported by another nurse trying to keep up with Janet and the speeding gurney, she realized now Jack's injuries were far more sever then hers were at that moment, she saw the gurney being pushed into the Infirmary's I.C.U and the doors closed shut.
Sitting in her infirmary bed, Sam could look at nothing but the clock on the wall, it's been almost 8 hours since she was treated and bandaged, and it's been well over 9 hours since Jack was wheeled into the O.R.
Teal'c walked through the main door with General Hammond and Daniel in tow. Daniel had just arrived from PNW388 to retrieve a book he needed in order to help translate ancient hieroglyphs when the rest of SG-1 returned and the gate was rendered inoperable and was now shut-down for at least 2 weeks if not more. When they told him what happened he was overwhelmed. Sam looked at them, their eyes met.
"Do you know anything?" She asked the General as he shook his head "it's been almost 10 hours now, can't they tell us what's going on?"
"I'm sure when they get the chance
they will Major" at least he is still alive George thought to
himself or else Dr. Fraiser would have already told them. They grabbed
some chairs from the waiting area and set around Carter's bed in silence, every
so often an eye would wonder towards the clock and every so often their eyes
would meet but no one said a word. Over 14 hours have passed, it was
"He's still alive" were her first words.
"Doctor, what is the extent of his
injuries?"
Janet sighed and looked at each of her friends, Jack's friends and teammates. She sighed again "He stopped breathing so we had to intubate him. He lost most of his skin on his back, shoulders and upper arms. The blasts exact impact was to his mid upper spine, T1-T4. We tried to clean as much of the wound as we could. There has been a swelling of the brain. He's in a coma, and until the swelling goes down we won't be able to know if he comes out of it and if he does whether or not he will ever walk again".
Sam's knees crumpled beneath her, hadn't Daniel been there to catch her she would have dropped to the floor. He helped her back to her bed and Janet gave her a sedative through her IV line, she was asleep within 2 minutes.
Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond where still standing there not believing what they had just heard about their friend's condition.
"Can't we get some outside help?" Asked Daniel, they all stared at him "like the healing power of the Nox" he elaborated.
"The stargate will have to be repaired first, Doctor Jackson and that is going to take some time" said General Hammond. But still they all felt the glimmer of hope as they remembered the Nox.
"He's in Intensive Care now, no one allowed in and the staff goes in protected to prevent infection. There's nothing more you can do here, Sir, Daniel, Teal'c, you should all go get some sleep" Janet said to all of them, they each went their separate ways their own thoughts disconcerting them, Sam was sleeping.
Janet went to her office; she picked up
the extension and dialed. When the nurse answered she told her to call her at
her office if there is any change in Colonel O'Neill's condition, any change at
all she specified, she put the phone back in its cradle and settled in her
chair closing her eyes, the time was
Janet jumped at the ringing of her phone with a startle, it seemed to her as if she had just closed her eyes a minute ago, as she answered the phone she glanced at her watch it was 3:54am, she had been sleeping for 40 minutes? "Yes!?" she answered awake and alert.
"Doctor Fraiser you are urgently needed at the I.C.U." she was already out the door, she put on the sterile gown, gloves, cap, mask and shoe-covers in record time and was in the room within one minute.
"...He's crashing doctor"
"Turn him over on my mark, 1...2...3, give me the pedals, and give him 2 mg Epi. IV push, turn the defibrillator to 200 joules... clear..." his body jerked as the electrical shock was administered,
"No pulse" the nurse called out. Janet's hands were shaking but she still called out
"300 clear", his body jerked again as the monitor still showed flat line,
"Still no pulse" the nurse called out
"360 clear, again clear, again clear..."
"We have a rhythm on him", the nurse called, a sigh living her throat.
"Good" Janet heaved out a sigh
she did not know she was holding, she watched Jack's chest rise and fall in the
rhythm the machine was breathing for him. His heart rate stabilized, they
turned him over again and Janet examined the burns, she could not believe
within this damaged body lay a close friend fighting for his life. She set by
his side and let her gloved fingers touch and hold his left hand. She closed
her eyes in a silent prayer, and when she re-opened them she looked at his
profile. His eyes where closed, the endo-tracheal tube jammed between his
partly open lips, the machine breathing for him. Even now, even like this his
face expressed his strength and courage, he was the strongest man she has ever
known and staring at him even in the condition he was in made her heart skip a
bit. She looked at her watch it was
"Hey Sam, good morning, how are you feeling today?" she said as cheerfully as she possibly could.
"How is he?"
"I asked how you are Sam" Janet was trying to avoid Sam's questions about Jack.
"I want to know how Jack is doing" Sam was persistent and Janet contemplated telling Sam the truth, in her fragile state both physically and mentally she wasn't sure she could handle it, a few seconds passed when she finally whispered to Sam.
"We nearly lost him" her voice barely audible, Sam started shaking
"I have to see him Janet you have to let me in to see him" Janet's slight nod was barely visible. She made Sam sit in a wheelchair and covered her with a sterile gown slipping only her right hand through the sleeve; she put her mask for her and a sterile glove on her right hand. She wheeled her into the I.C.U and `parked` her chair by Col. O'Neill's left side of the bed, leaving Sam to be alone with him.
"Jack, I'm here" she whispered taking a hold of his hand, the same hand that Janet has been holding half the night "you're going to be OK, you have to be OK. I know what you will say after you hear me but screw the regs. Jack you have to know that I can't live without you anymore. You have to be strong and beat this, you have to wake up so I can tell you how I feel for you, so you can look at me when I tell you I love you, please Jack stay strong, I need you so much..." her voice trailed off.
30 minutes have passed when Janet re-entered the room and forcefully extricated Sam's hand away from Jack and out the door with a loud protest. When the doors closed again Janet went over to Jack's side, she looked over his chart, at the surrounding monitors and at his comatose figure, and her eyes glistened with tears when she looked over his injured back.
Two hours later she was looking over the CT scan that was just done. At that moment General Hammond knocked on her opened office door, as she looked up at him he could see the shimmering of unshed tears wanting to let go.
"What is it?" He asked, "What's wrong?" she looked at the film in her hand
"I don't know if Col. O'Neill is going to make it, Sir, I think he's dying"
"He's a strong man, he can make it"
"No Sir, as strong as we all know he is, he is loosing this battle by the minute, the CT Scan shows a lot of swelling, and that causes very high pressure to build up in the brain".
"Isn't it possible to relieve the pressure some how?"
"Yes Sir, but, that means brain surgery, maybe we should get to the Nox first and not risk further brain damage to Col. O'Neill"
"No but's doctor, it will be some time before the gate is back on line, so meanwhile you have to do anything you can to keep him alive, if this surgery is the only thing that will relieve this pressure build-up you have to do it… I can't really make that an order since I am not a doctor, doctor, but please anything you can do"
"Yes Sir". Janet bowed her head as General Hammond left the room.
Standing in the operating room with a drill in her shaking hand, Janet glanced up to see her co-workers, similarly dressed in sterile gowns and gloves, only their eyes visible from under the face mask. She looked down at her unconscious patient, she tried to get the drill aligned with the back of Jack's scull where they had shaved his hair but she couldn't, her hands were shaking too hard.
"I can't.... I can't. Dr. Warner, please take over for me". David with surprise in his eyes said nothing he approached and took the drill from her hands, she stepped back and with the first sound of the drill powering up, lost it completely and left the room tears running down her face, her entire body convulsing from her crying. Outside she literally ran into Teal'c who was standing guard outside the O.R. He caught her and surrounded her with a worm-comforting hug. His arms wrapped around her small figure, she suddenly felt worm and protected. She could feel her heart racing as well as he's steadily beating, it calmed her down a bit, they stood not moving for a few minutes until she felt strong enough to push herself away from him and look into his eyes, no thanks were necessary.
The surgery took about 4 hours. Janet entered the I.C.U just as they wheeled Jack from the O.R. his head was bandaged and a small tube was coming out of the center of it. She knew the procedure that was done she has even done it herself several times in her medical career but she just couldn't bring herself to drill a hole in her friend's head. She looked at his still figure, the machine breathing for him, the sterile bandages covering his back. His heart rate was a bit slower then it should be, she concentrated on the slow beeps coming from the monitor, it remained steady, she turned to the nurse on duty.
"Sergeant Teems, if his heart rate drops blow 50 call me at once"
"Yes ma'am". Janet went to her office and slouched down into her chair, she was tired, exhausted actually, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes; a soft knock was heard on her office door.
"Yes", Sam looked inside.
"Can we talk, Janet?"
"Sure Sam, come in"
"How is Jack doing?" She asked as she closed the door behind her and set opposite her friend
"Stable at the moment and the pressure has been reduced slightly after the surgery".
"Janet, is he going to make it?" her voice trembling as she asked.
"I don't know Sam, I really don't know, he's hurt very badly"
"Do you think he has a chance?"
"He's a very strong man, Sam, there's always a chance, all he has to do is hang in there until we get the gate working again and try to contact the Nox" she rounded her desk and pulled Sam into a warm embrace, she whispered in her ear
"I love him too, Sam, I'll do my best to keep him alive"
"Yeah, I know" Sam whispered back her right arm wrapping Janet's shoulders. They stood there holding each other for a moment when they suddenly felt too awkward and pushed away from each other; Sam smiled weakly and stepped out.
As she reached her bed Daniel walked in
"Hi Sam how are you doing?"
"Better Daniel, thanks"
"You know the General ordered 427 removed from the dial up computer"
"He did?"
"Yeah he says he will not jeopardize any more SG teams out there. I just wanted you to know. Anyway how's your hand?
"It's OK I guess, Janet thinks I might need skin grafts, but it's not definite yet and if we ever get through to the Nox..."
"And how is Jack doing?"
"Not too good, but he has been hanging in there almost two days, I just hope he's strong enough to hang on until we reactivate the gate". Daniel nodded he had nothing to say, he heard about the extent of Jack's injury, it sounded horrifying to him. He stayed a while with Sam to keep her company not saying very much but just being there, later he left to allow her to get some rest.
She was in her bed wide-awake, her tray of
food un-touched by her bed. It was
She entered the room and walked towards
Jack's bed sitting next to him. There was barely a Jack visible, his closed
eyelids, his parted lips, his nose and his hands where the only recognizable
parts to Jack. Sam entangled her fingers with his and bent towards him to kiss
the back of his hand and then his semi-exposed cheek. When she awoke she
realized it was the middle of the night, there appeared to be no change in
Jack's condition, his heart rate was a bit faster then before. She rose up
kissing his hand again before un-tangling her fingers from him. She stepped back
to the main infirmary and climbed into her bed again, it was
She remembered the time they where afflicted with that primal histamine disease and the kiss she gave him. She was trying to remember every moment she has ever had with Jack since the first day they met. She wanted to remember everything, in case he, no I will not think that, I will not think about the worst outcome, I will pray for the best one, she finally drifted off to sleep.
It was day brake when she opened her eyes once again to hushed muffled noises; she tried to listen to figure out where the noise was coming from when she realized it was voices from within the I.C.U. And that they probably were not as hushed as she first thought they were. She crossed her right hand's fingers silently praying, "don't let him die. Please, please let Jack live, bring him back for me, I will do anything for him. If I could I would give my life to save his, please give me the chance to tell him how much I love him"
Tears were running down her cheeks when Daniel opened the door to see her disheveled appearance.
"What's wrong?" She shook her head finally letting out a soft whisper
"I don't know" her eyes looked toward the I.C.U., Daniel walked over to the closed doors trying to listen to what was happening, he gave up after 10 minutes and returned to sit with Sam, hold her hand and silently pray.
They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity, it was an hour later that Janet emerged from that room; she knew they would be there, waiting for her to tell them what happened. She wasn't sure she could master the strength to tell them after slaving to bring him back for over an hour, she inhaled a deep breath and pushed the doors open, immediately all eyes where upon her. She said it to all of them, but, her eyes where fixed on Sam.
"He crashed again...We got him back but he was flat line for too long, if he ever regains consciousness I'm afraid he will probably have severe brain damage". General Hammond's eyes blinked several times, he wanted to weep openly but managed to blink the tears away as he turned around and went to his office, and as soon as the door was safely closed behind him the tears came running.
Back in the infirmary Teal'c had the same expression as always his jaw muscles rippling and his eyes moving from side to side, his friend's could tell that he was in turmoil as the rest of them. Daniel's hand squeezed Sam's as he bravely held back his tears. Suddenly Sam straitening up in her bed, stronger than all of them, she stood to her feet walking with her head held high to the Intensive Care entrance and before entering turned to look at her friend's.
"He's not dead yet!" She said before walking in and sitting next to Jack lacing her fingers with his, she leaned near him and whispered something into his ear; Janet standing by the door couldn't hear her.
"I will not leave you again Jack, I promise" she didn't know why but she had the feeling that her being there next to him made the difference. Her holding his hand kept him alive somehow, and each time she left the room he would crash, no more she thought to herself never again.
It was nearing
"Sam, you need to rest, you have been sitting here all day, please let's go to your bed"
"No" came a firm quiet answer.
"Sam please, you need to heal too, you need your rest"
"I said no Janet, I will not leave this room again as long as Jack is in here, there is just no way and nothing you say will talk me out of it, so don't even try". Janet heaved a sigh, she heard the determination in her friend's voice, and she saw it in her eyes, she knew there was no way to persuade her, so she reluctantly stepped out alone. Amazingly Jack's lab results have been getting better since this morning, but she couldn't believe it was simply Sam sitting there that was doing that.
Sam stayed by Jack's bedside for two days stepping out only to clean herself a bit, have her bandages changed and use the bathroom, all in all she was never away from him longer than 10 minutes, he has been stable the whole time and his lab results were indeed getting better.
It was the morning of the sixth day since their ordeal on P3X427; Sam was at her usual place sitting on the same uncomfortable chair she has been the last 4 days. Holding Jack's hand, stroking his fingers, whispering into his ear, "secrets" she told Janet when she asked her what were the things she was telling him, she never said any more than that and Janet felt it was neither the time nor place to ask further.
Janet was examining Jack's IV line and the tube relieving the excess pressure in his brain, it had been steadily decreasing these last three days and now it was nearly empty meaning there was no excess pressure during the night.
"Janet" Sam's urgent whisper came
"What?" she felt a slight panic squeeze her heart.
"Look, his eyes" Janet stepped closer standing by Sam's chair and observed Jack's eyes intently, his eyelids fluttered slightly, she turned to Sam disappointedly
"Sam, its only reflexes I'm sorry"
"No Janet, see that was the third time he has done that". They waited again and surprise struck them when his eyes fluttered open for a brief second, Sam and Janet grabbed each other's hand watching his face in anticipation. It took 15 nerve wrecking minutes before his eyes opened again, now they stayed open for longer before closing again and it was another 7 minutes before he tried to open his eyes again, he seemed to be very confused with his surroundings and closed his eyes yet again. Janet observed that he was able to breathe on his own now and turned the respirator off, moving the heavy machinery to the corner. Sam now had enough room, she pushed her chair back and crouched on the floor her eyes fixed on Jack's, waiting for him to open them again. It took a while but he finally did. His eyes as blurry as he must have seen everything for the first time in a while fixed on Sam's face as hers broke into a full-fledged smile.
"You're going to be OK Sweetie" she said not caring that Janet was in the room hearing that. Janet bent to be at eye level with Jack he followed with his eyes to look at her and then returned to stare at Sam.
"Do you know who we are?" she asked, there was no response "do you know where you are?" nothing, he gave them no indication of even comprehending their language, he simply stared back at Sam no other expression on his face. 20 minutes later Janet removed his endo-tracheal tube, he was breathing on his own and had oxygen saturation of 96%. Janet looked at him again "can you speak?" there was still no response both Janet's and Sam's faces fell with worry and sadness, a little sarcasm from Jack at this moment would have been like music to their ears. He tried to move,
"Don't move Jack" Janet pushed at him gently to stop him from moving "there is a drain in your head to relieve pressure and you cannot move" he didn't seem to understand her but at least he stopped moving for the time being. She checked the drain again and called Doctor Warner. He arrived within 10 minutes, checked on Jack's drain and nodded his head. Janet approached Jack a syringe at hand she was speaking to him but he didn't seem to understand. "Jack I'm going to give you a sedative so you can sleep and take you to the O.R. to remove the drain in your head" his eyes still fixes on Sam who was sitting on the floor holding his hand, she smiled and nodded. As the sedative Janet injected into his IV took effect, his eyes started to flutter and then finally closed. Within 40 minutes he was in the O.R. again and the drain was removed, his head was bandaged and he was wheeled back to his room, 10 minutes later Sam was there again, sitting by his side, stroking his cheek.
Sam sat by Jack's side the entire time, never leaving. 9 hours have gone by when she decided to speak out.
"Sgt. Teems?" She called the nurse on duty,
"Yes ma'am?"
"Will you please call Doctor Fraiser in?"
"Is there anything I can help you with ma'am?"
"No, just call Dr. Fraiser"
"Yes ma'am" she disappeared in the next room, five minutes later Janet walked in
"Sam? Is everything all right?"
"I don't know Janet you tell me, it's been over 9 hours since Jack was brought back from the O.R. is it normal that he hasn't woken up yet?" Janet looked over his chart and monitors; she started walking towards the next room her eyes still examining the chart while she mumbled to Sam
"I'll be right back", as she went in the next room she approached the nurse.
"Marisa? Hasn't col. O'Neill woken up since this morning?"
"No ma'am, not since he came back from surgery"
"Why haven't you called me to check up on him?"
"He was stable, he is stable I didn't know I was supposed to call you if he didn't wake up, maybe he was given long term sedation?" she suggested.
"No, I checked the O.R. chart; all sedatives had a maximum effect of 2 hours". Marisa shrugged her shoulders and Janet went back into Jack's room.
"Sam, I need to examine Jack for a minute, will you wait outside for me?" Sam nodded silently and stepped out.
Janet shone a penlight into Jack's eyes; she checked the drain area and changed the bandage. Then she looked at his back, the treatment they where giving him seemed to help a bit, he's back was still scorched beyond recognition, but the edges of the wound seemed to be rejuvenating a little skin, he will need skin grafts she thought to herself. "But you have to be awake for us to do that Jack" she whispered to him "please don't take too long, come back to us soon". She stepped out to find Sam standing restlessly behind the closed doors.
"Well?" she asked impatiently "what's wrong?"
"His in a coma Sam"
"I thought he came out of his coma?" She was confused,
"He's in a coma again, probably slipped into it a short while after the surgery, all we can do is monitor his condition and pray". Sam nodded and opened the door to reclaim her space next to Jack, she felt Janet's reassuring squeeze to her upper right arm, and bowed her head slightly, reminding Janet of Teal'c's posture she went inside.
"Jack, please wake up, I love you" she kept on whispering to him. In hindsight she knew she fell in love with him the moment she saw him. True while they were arguing about her abilities or anything else that she was capable of doing including arm wrestle him, she thought he was a pompous, arrogant, sexiest fool but there was a second track of heart (mind) saying things like handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy man. She laughed quietly to herself at the memory of their first encounter. Her memory brought her to the closest time they came to reveal their affection to each other; she couldn't believe they were both lying without even knowing it. Well more like concealing their emotions, it was a good thing she thought about it or they would have been sedated indefinitely as zay-tarc's.
Sam took hold of Jack's hand again and interlocked her fingers with his, she kissed his cheek, and laid her head next to his, she felt his breath on her lips, she couldn't resist and she pressed her lips softly to his. She fell asleep like that and as uncomfortable as it was she slept for quit a few hours before waking to a silent whisper. She opened her eyes but it was too dark to see, she realized night had fallen and the lights where out except for the emergency light by the door. It took her a few minutes to get her bearings as she heard that whisper again, what was it saying? "Where am I?" her eyes adapted to the low illumination in the room and she realized there was no one there but herself and Jack lying in the bed. Who is whispering? She thought could it have been a dream? But no now I'm awake and there it is again she turned the light on above Jack's bed, his eyes where closed, no, his eyes are open "Jack?" she bent to take a closer look at him.
"Where am I?" he whispered again to Sam's overjoyed leaping heart.
"How are you feeling Sleepyhead?" she sat up in her chair looking at him
"Like a truck is parked on my back and it won't drive off" came a very long tiring sentence, he closed his eyes to concentrate on catching his breath, it took a few long minutes before he opened them again, to Sam's delight.
"Are you OK?" she asked again as Jack nodded slightly, still too tired to talk again
"Who are you?" He asked before falling asleep.
TBC