Chapter Two: One Shining Light Remains
/The world I know fades away but you would stay./
The heavens seemed angry that day, heavy torrents of rain brutalized my back as I wandered about in the streets. Such strange behavior was expected of me, for I had nowhere to go and no one to do anything with. At the time, I really couldn't care less if I was by myself anyways. Thin clothes stuck to my skin as waves of water continued to pour out of the sky. If the gods truly did exist, they seemed determined to display their exalted power over me. Either that, or they may have been attempting to punish me for all of the heinous crimes I had committed previously. Whatever the creators felt like doing was fine by me, but they should realize that no amount of violence would ever make me back down. After all, I endorsed sadistic actions, so large amounts of pain highly appealed to me.
Trudging up to the beginning of Trinity Street, I gazed vacantly into the night. Due to the threat of flash flooding, the moon and stars chose to conceal themselves somewhere else in the galaxy. Darkness prevailed above me, but not around me. Almost every house on the block was glowing with some sort of holiday decorations, as if the residents were competing to see who would own the brightest home in the town. Twinkling lights of various colors accented windows, car ports, and even the sidewalks beside me. Despising the crazy Christmas spirit I was in the center of, I walked on the asphalt to avoid it. Nothing bothered me more than this particular season, where the malls were jam packed with clueless shoppers who had no idea what they were there for. Besides that, people seemed obsessed with legends of talking snowmen and flying reindeer. Fairytales were instantly discarded from my memory, since I considered them to be complete nonsense that even children shouldn't be allowed to hear. Why would any parent want to infect their children with well-developed lies? Then again, why even take the time to raise a pack of rambunctious brats? Contemplating the answers to those questions, I didn't even notice that someone was right in front of me.
Splashing through the suburban area in deep thought, I barely felt my body push aside whoever was blocking my way. Matter of fact, I would have kept going if I hadn't heard a voice begging me to pause in my tracks.
"Please wait for me." someone pleaded in back of me.
Somewhat surprised that I was being followed, I stopped where I was. Peering over my shoulder, I was greeted by the sight of a rain-slicked Ryou, drenched from head to toe. Gazing at me intensely, the petite child shivered in the cold. His arms were wrapped tightly around his tiny frame, a feeble attempt in trying to generate heat within himself. I knew that his structure just didn't fare well in extreme temperatures, but he didn't seem to mind the bad weather that much. I felt a twinge of sorrow for him, since he obviously didn't think about the consequences of playing in a potential hail storm.
Regarding him with a steely gaze, I asked, "Don't kids in this place have a ten o' clock curfew?"
Giving me a delicate smile, the green-eyed boy responded with a question of his own. "Then what are you doing out here, Yami?"
"I am older than you by hundreds of years, child." I snapped, my eyes never leaving his face. "I can do as I damn well please."
"True enough." agreed the trembling adolescent, squinting through the rain at me. "But police officials here don't know that. They'll think you're just some fifteen year old teenager not complying with the law. Take care out here," he warned, his silvery tresses plastering themselves to his cheeks, "if you get caught, they may want to make en example out of you."
That single statement made me laugh out loud. "Really, Ryou? Do you truly believe I'd let anyone near me, much less touch me? You know what happens when people get to close to me, right?"
He nodded, letting his head drop to the ground. "Yes, I know all too well what you do to those who are within reaching distance of you. You tear their hearts out and joke about it later."
"Actually, I never tried that before." I confessed, staring off into the distance. Letting a wild grin appear on my mouth, I considered what Bakura suggested. "But I should thank you for the idea, it intrigues me. Such a sadistic act contains so much merit that I'll try it some time."
"Don't you know that you already have?" whispered the fair-skinned adolescent, his voice slightly cracking.
Narrowing my eyes, I was perplexed by his wistful tone. "What do you mean by that?"
"Yami," he said, casting his mournful eyes on me directly, "there is more than just one way to hurt someone. Torture doesn't have to come in the form of physical pain, it can be spiritual and emotional, too. Sometimes you can harm people by just a word--"
"I'm as introverted as you, Hikari." I interrupted, dismissing his spontaneous philosophy. "I don't do well with others."
"So I've noticed."
"Then what is your point?" I growled, growing annoyed with his presence.
"That you choose to be alone for no logical reason at all."
"And what concern is that of yours, little one?"
Lifting his head from the pavement, Ryou fixed his passionate gaze on me once more. Quivering lips fought to reveal his hidden thoughts, but no word escaped the confined flesh. Unable to voice his opinion, the green-eyed adolescent shook his head. I knew he had something on his mind, something that he so very badly wanted to say. Oh, but the terrible pain he was going through was all too great for me. I relished the air of sadness about him, delighted in his angst-filled expression. All that was missing was the usual tears, but I had seen him cry so many times before that I could just imagine where the stains of sadness would go.
One of my trademark cackles reverberated in the streets. "Did you forget what you wanted to tell me, or are just displaying sorrow for my satisfaction?"
Shaking his head vigorously, the tiny child's face began to crumple. One thing was for certain: Bakura was beginning to lose his sanity.
Just for the thrill of watching him lose his composure, I said, "Whatever it is you're hiding, get rid of it. I'm sure it's not useful information to you or anyone else, much less me. " Letting his head drop dejectedly between his shoulders, the freezing teenager placed a hand over his mouth. A corner of my lips lifted in a cruel half grin, for I saw what he didn't want me to be a witness of: him stifling a weary sob. "By the way," I added, my tone horribly sardonic, "you should find your way home now. Pretty defenseless sweethearts don't do well in the city at this hour. If you want to stay out here and become a rape statistic, that's your business…I hope you don't mind if I'm in the shadows watching."
"Why?" he cried at last, his emotions becoming quite volatile.
"Because pain is pleasure." I replied casually, a sinful smile still plastered to my mouth. "Your pain, that is."
"No, that's not what I meant!" Ryou sobbed, his delicate hands covering his visage, "I want to know how you got to this point and why you are such a selfish bastard!"
"Like it or not, that's just who I am, kid. Get over it."
"You don't have to be!" he protested, his speech considerably distressed. "I know you don't have to be like this!"
"You don't know a damn thing about me." I snarled, hating the verbal contest he drew me into. Discussing my attitude wasn't one of my favorite conversation topics.
Sniffling, he looked me straight in the eye. "That's because you don't want me to know anything about you. You don't want anyone getting close to you, being with you, actually making the effort to get to know you. All you do is push people away with vile commentary, vicious conduct, and derogatory glares. Damn it, Yami!" he cursed through gritted teeth and tears, "Seto Kaiba is a compassionate dream date compared to you!"
Glowering at the tiny teenager, I could feel my hands balling themselves up into fists, my nails cutting into my skin. "Where do you get off judging me? You aren't exactly surrounded by groups of friends waiting to talk to you, either." I pointed out, forcing him to remember his own solitude. "I don't understand how you think you're so much better than me when you can't even hold a stable conversation with someone, let alone a full-blown relationship!"
"The only reason I don't have a committed relationship right now is because you won't let me have one!" Ryou countered, his emerald orbs as watery as the ground we stood on.
"Me?!" I asked in mock disbelief while turning to face him. Furious with his half-wit attempt to blame me for something I didn't contribute to, I yelled, "How is it my fault that you're some reject who can't get laid?!"
"It's not the sex I'm after." stated the small adolescent, giving me a dirty look. "Not everyone constantly tries to find something to dry screw all the time."
"Ah, I see. You want a puppy on a chain to dominate, don't you? You want someone to follow you around whenever you yank their collar." With a twisted smirk, I added, "I'm sure Joey would be interested in that, but check with Seto first…he may want to charge you for whatever services you want."
My smile faded as my petite counterpart marched up to me. For such a small person, Ryou possessed an insane amount of audacity. Maybe I was giving him entirely too much credit…I knew a fine line existed between bravery and stupidity. In a world of fun and games, Bakura would probably consider himself courageous for confronting me. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. This is cold reality, where idealistic individuals find themselves being sacrificed to my kind, the species of wild animals that stalk precious innocents in the night. I never allowed anyone to speak to me in the manner that he did, and I didn't intend on letting him get away with it, either. He just crossed over into my personal space, a dimension where there was no return.
Stalking up to meet me face-to-face, the skinny boy spat his response at me icily. "Joey and Seto at least love one another, Yami. They have someone to go home to at the end of the day. They have someone who will be there for them no matter what. They can share in each other's laughter, their tears, their deepest fears, even their worst nightmares. And what do you have, you callous ingrate? Who do you have to kiss and make everything better when you've had a bad time? Who comes to your rescue when you've screwed up one too many times and you've been made the center of all ridicule?"
I stood silent, but my scalding gaze told him what he needed to know.
"Really, Yami? Is that so?" he growled, his arctic gaze pinning me to the pavement. "Just as I thought…no one. You have no one. Nobody to play with, you're all alone in the nursery, up against a corner of a wall while other children pass you by with their friends and romantic interests. Face it, Yami, you're just a little kid who grew up to be an unloved reject of society, haunting everyone you come across because that's the only way you know how to get attention."
Contemplating the weight of his words, I felt my vision drift to the ground. In my few thousand years of existence, no one ever took it upon themselves to address me in such a manner. For the first moment in my life, I was struck speechless. What was I supposed to do? Insult him and hope that he'd leave soon? Walk away and pretend I didn't hear him? Choose an abusive action to put Ryou in his place? No. I couldn't do that, not anymore…he was right. Bakura was right about everything. It was as if he could peer into the depths of my very soul and comprehend my manic personality and awful past. Overwhelmed with feelings I had never felt before, something warm and wet slipped over my cheek. The sensation was strange, for the hot liquid burned my eye lid, then it fell onto my flesh slowly. My jaw trembled, incapable of expressing the traumatic memories sealed away in my mind for so long. All around me, the brightly lit residences, fully decorated lawns, and the occasional vehicles that passed us by vanished. I couldn't even make out the road beneath us anymore, my heart was so heavy. Everything had faded to black, a place resembling some sort of warp in space devoid of everything…but not everyone. When I was finally able to look out through my blurred eyes, I saw him, and he was only inches away from my visage.
Wearing a pitiful expression, he called my name. "Yami…?"
His tone, so caring, so tranquil, made me hold my breath. I tried to talk, but no words came out. Only more new sticky wet things dripped over my features, running down my chin in little rivers.
Reaching out to touch me, my Hikari form said, "Let me, Spirit. Let me help you…"
Without saying another word, he did as he promised he would. Tapered fingertips brushed my flesh, flicking the unwanted fluids from my cheeks. Every time his hand made contact with my face, I shuddered. His kindness, his sincerity, the way he moved his fingers so gently over my visage, and him simply being so close to me…it was all too overwhelming. Within seconds, I felt my legs give out, and I collapsed to the street below.
"Are you all right?" Ryou inquired, his voice full of worry. "Are you okay?"
Slippery runnels from my eyes welded themselves to my face, adding to my wealth of sadness. "Make them stop!" I cried, slapping the self-generated water off of my visage as fast as I could. "I don't want this junk on my face!"
Giving me a broken smile, Bakura asked, "Do you even know what they are?"
"What do I care?" I sniffled, dragging my knees up to my chest. "They feel so…foreign."
Tipping my head up to meet his gaze, the tiny teenager said softly, "They are a natural reaction to sadness, Yami. Tears are just an extreme form of angst someone releases in a physical manner."
Staring vacantly at him, I could hardly bring myself to comprehend what he had told me. "You mean to say I am crying?"
Nodding slowly, the silvery-haired adolescent continued to hold me tight. "Yes, but that's only if you want to be technical about it." Draping his arm around my shoulders, he said, "I still wish to help you."
"But why?" I questioned him, completely bewildered by his friendly nature towards me. "I belittled your life, said nasty things about your friends, even drove you away from me on more than one separate occasion--"
"But you aren't now." Ryou pointed out, lifting me onto his lap. "That's all I'll ever ask from you."
Picking up on the subtle undertones of his response, my eyes opened wide. Now, after all this time of insulting him and pushing him away, I finally understood why he was able to cope with the whole situation. Why hadn't I seen it before?
"Ryou-chan?" I sniffed, shivering slightly as a gust of wind blew past us.
"Hai, Yami-san?"
"This is what you wanted, ne?"
Looking at me in artificial amazement, Bakura asked, "You think you know what I want?"
"I can see right through your transparent guise, Hikari." I stated, studying the lines on his face. "This is what you were beginning to tell me earlier, wasn't it?"
An eyebrow of his lifted, considering the case I presented to him.
"This is the "committed relationship" you wanted, but couldn't have…and it was because I had to agree to be your lover to make your wish come true, right?"
A secret grin appeared on his mouth, and I found that I didn't need any further explanation for his generosity towards me.
/In the love that we have made before time./