~Epilogue~

A Child of Heaven's Sanctuary

"Koi…" I murmured, stroking the ring on my hand with a trembling finger.

Holding the silver band up towards the lamplight, the piece of jewelry glittered like the bright side of a full moon. My beautiful cherry blossom, Ryou Bakura, gave me the trinket so that I would never forget him and hold sacred all the times we had spent together. Throughout the span of his and my relationship, we had shared both good and bad occasions and felt every kind of emotion that was humanly possible. No matter how hateful, despicable, or tremendously wicked my behavior and actions were when I was in the presence of my hikari, he always found it in his heart to forgive me. Through the blood and rivers of sadness, the silvery-haired child still begged me to do one simple little thing for him, but I turned my back on his pathetic pleas. Now, in the soft glow of my bedroom, I discovered that I was reduced to the same hapless state that my young counterpart had been in before.

Gazing at the ring with huge shiny eyes, I whispered, "Please, let me do what you've always asked me to do…let me love you."

A single drop of water eased itself down my cheek, slipping over my flesh in slow motion. Feeling a large amount of liquid build beneath my lids, I tried to hold them back by taking a deep breath. The intake of oxygen was weary, cold, and shallow. Seeing that my efforts of keeping myself from crying were in total vain, I closed my eyes. That single movement triggered an on-going rush of sorrow, for twin streams of tears flowed across my skin. Underneath the layers of comforters and sheets on my mattress, my body shivered violently. I felt so frozen, so horribly chilled to the bone that I curled up into a fetal position and wrapped my arms around myself. Nothing would ever be able to strip me of the pain of what I did to my high school equivalent, not even freezing to death in my own bed while basking in the icy quality of my tears.

Hoping that my words could somehow be lifted to the heavens so that my hikari could listen to them, I whimpered, "Ryou-chan, whether you are singing in God's choir at the moment or are using the clouds as trampolines, know this…aishiteru, my ravishing rainbow chaser, aishiteru."

All of a sudden, I discovered that my eyes were having trouble re-opening themselves. They fluttered at my commands, attempting to stay awake in a sleepless daze. Shaking my head sharply, I tried to ward off the enchanting bliss that silent slumber was offering to me, but my slender frame refused to budge. Greatly sighing, I allowed my lean structure to slump against the softness of the mattress. Completely exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that had transpired today, I finally admitted to myself that my body needed some rest. Everything seemed to hurt or scream in pain, for I winced at the throbbing sensation forming around the sides of my head. Touching the metal band at the base of my finger, I drifted to the realm of dreams with the phrase "I love you" endlessly being mouthed by my lips.

****Dream Sequence****

A brilliant flash of light brought me into a semi-conscious position, lifting my lids up to expose my tired eyes. Stifling a yawn, I pulled my arms over my head and gave my muscles a good, long stretch. When I had dispelled the soreness from my aching limbs, I let them flop down into my lap.

/How can I possibly be up right now? / I wondered, raking my fingers through my lengthy silver tresses. /I'm so drained and worn out…how can this be? /

Answering my inquisitive thought process, a voice replied softly, "In the dimension in which you are residing now, anything can happen."

Creasing my brow in confusion, the bells of familiarity rang loudly in my mind. There was something so soothing, so positively serene about the tone of the voice that had reached my ears, but I immediately dismissed my first guess as to who it was. Besides, I knew I hadn't fully recovered from the events that transpired this evening, so my brain was probably playing tricks on itself. Everyone has different coping devices, procedures that are learned by us to prevent losing our senses to whatever strong emotions we may be feeling at the time. Ultimately, the best strategy I had developed in handling sensitive situations was cutting off the valve of emotions from my heart to my head. That way, my ego could never be broken into, and I could stay tucked away in a snug little nest of my own thoughts that were kept private from everyone else.

"Don't do this…" begged the voice, still calm in its sound. "I don't want to see you plummet into a sea of nightmares again. You can only dwell in the miserable depths of despair for so long before you drown and hit rock bottom. The devils pounding the keyboard of your heart force you to be out of tune with yourself, Yami. They want you to think there's no alternative to their morbid music, to make you deaf to those who love and care for you the most…especially a child of heaven's sanctuary."

One by one, elegant fingertips traced my flesh, caressing the fine bone structure on my visage. My heart began to ache with indescribable longing, controlling my mind with amorous desire. Quivering lips of mine attempted to form words, but my voice box refused to cooperate. I was trapped again; my head and heart had declared war on each other just to satisfy their own selfish needs. The battle lines were being drawn in the sand, with emotions on one side, and logic on the other. It was a fight between the key points of what was reasonable and what was irrational, an all-out collision course of the icy blade of reality sparring with the fiery sword of romantic fantasy. While the two ageless rivals traded blows with one another on the landscape of my mind, I watched helplessly from a cage above their killing grounds. Eventually, when the last weapon was swung and one of the two adversaries proclaimed themselves the victor, I would be handed over to them. "Happy mediums," as people sometimes referred to when discussing their daily rituals, was a state of balance that seemed unachievable to me. This soul of mine has never experienced the privilege of a dynamic equilibrium, a set standard of living that would keep my thoughts and feelings in check.

In the prime of my youth, I was an emotional wreck, so completely sensitive that I never went a day without having tears in my eyes. Functioning solely off of whatever my heart poured out, I was easily beat into submission by almost everyone around me. Lacking the courage and skill to challenge those that made my life seem worthless, I scurried off into the solitude of the shadows. Within time, I had detached myself from society altogether, regarding humans as nasty beings similar to the locusts that destroy the very flowers of this Earth. Everything that was beautiful and pure had turned hideous and badly tainted when people had anything to do with the scenario, treading upon this planet like viruses in search of an innocent host.

Clasping my pulsing forehead with a shaky hand, I finally said, "A celestial being such as yourself shouldn't risk your wings for something like me. Nothing's worth the curse of eternal damnation."

Thin, satiny fingers wrapped themselves across the length of my jaw, tenderly holding my head in their grasp. Gently pushing my body backwards, the angel guided me into a sitting position that had my back slightly arched. Lowering himself to where I was, the ethereal individual knelt in front of me, never taking his eyes away from my visage. Soft emerald orbs gazed at me, reflecting my hopes, dreams, and all other mystical qualities that were in between. Silvery strands of his hair flowed down his back, shining with an iridescent glow that even surpassed that of the constellations in the midnight sky. Brilliant robes of pastel shades adorned his flesh, a model of attire of which the likes I had never seen before. The garments somehow displayed his vibrant personality with the way it accented his curves, the many waves of the clothes symbolizing his ability to always flow and change while letting his spirit be free.

Speaking to me in his usual soft-spoken tone, the small child stated, "Love will always be worth more to me than the threat of hell."

"Do you really think that?" I asked, focusing on every word he vocalized. "You are only a teenager still, so can you honestly believe your feelings for me can be none other than love itself?"

Moving his head up and down, the angel disposed of my nagging doubts. "I don't just think I love you, I know I love you. Believing in something, actually having faith about it, gives you goals and objectives to strive for. What makes beliefs so powerful is the fact that they become the foundation of your temple, the system in which you live out your existence by. If you don't have trust in yourself, then no one else will have much confidence in what you say or do, either. I wish I could give you my faith, but it can't be done that way...it shouldn't have to be done that way. You are the only one that can choose between remaining captive behind iron bars of a cage, or breaking free from your old habits and returning my affection." A special smile played with the corners of his mouth as a rosy blush lit up his cheeks. "Don't surrender your soul to the evil spirits inside of you just yet. I have an immeasurable amount of faith in you, Yami…please don't make me regret that."

Staring at him with wild eyes, I disappeared into the corridors of my head once more. Now I knew what needed to be done--the consequences of allowing this chaos to continue were too high. I just couldn't let this angel, this saint of a being slip through my arms again. Drawing on a wealth of bravery I didn't even know my soul possessed, I placed my hand on the rusted metal box that my common sense and emotions had shut me inside of. As soon as I had made contact with the prison-like rods, they shattered beneath my fingertips. It was like some amazing optical illusion, the metallic poles crumbling to dust as if they were nothing but glass in disguise. Both my logic and my feelings had ceased their fighting, the two enemies facing me with interest and intrigue. Throwing their weapons of destruction aside, they waited to see what my next move would be.

Taking the little angel's hand in my own, I whispered the affirmation I had always wanted to tell him. "Aishiteru, Ryou-chan."

His bright green eyes filled themselves to the brim with tears, and I could hear him chant a tiny devotional of thanks to his maker for showing me the light. Unable to watch him come even remotely close to losing his composure, I felt myself turn on the water works as well. A large degree of liquid began to form at the base of my lids, the tears grouping together with themselves to grow into miniature lakes.

Flashing me a small grin, Bakura soothed, "Don't cry, Spirit…you'll make me do the same."

"But I want to."

Puzzled, the celestial being questioned my rationale. "Why? Did I upset you?"

Shaking my head, I chuckled quietly. "No, that's not it. Actually, you've made me very happy. Matter of fact, I have obtained such an incredible feeling of euphoria in your presence that the only way I can express my joy is through tears."

Pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, the tiny child sniffled. Knowing that the raindrops from his eyes would start pouring down at any given moment, I swept him up in an unbreakable embrace. Gratefully accepting the gesture of kindness, he threw his arms around my neck. Our cheeks connected with one another's, the rivers of ecstasy mixing together in shimmering streaks. At that moment, I could feel his pain and pleasure, the strong craving to hold me and never let me go. Ryou is my one and only, for he is the dream that constantly fills my head on a bed of roses, waiting just for me.

Gliding his tapered fingertips through my chrome-colored tresses, Bakura said, "I love you, my friend."

"I know." I replied, my vision clearing up from the rush of emotion. "I love you, too, my gorgeous guardian."

Smiling widely, the young child flicked some excess liquid drops off of his visage. Desperate to return the favor to him from long ago, I caught his arm by the wrist.

"This time let me be the one to help…it's only fair that I do that much for you."

Touched by my sincerity, my high school equivalent watched attentively as I cupped the side of his face with my hand. Exchanging a light-hearted grin with him, I closed my eyes and brought my lips to his cheek. Methodically caressing his skin with my mouth, I picked up the last of his tears in one long, drawn out movement. After I had finished drying his visage, I left a sweet kiss upon each of his cheeks. Stunned, the green-eyed angel reddened passively at me, his emerald orbs glittering with the bliss of romance.

We were both starry-eyed by now, gazing into the windows of one another's souls with passionate intentions. Ryou's heavenly spirit had finally intertwined with the dark aspects of mine, creating a bold new relationship where innocence and chaos could thrive together in harmony. I accomplished the stability I had wanted from when I was an adolescent myself, a little child struggling to be left alone by the hate and discontent in every civilization.

"Arigato, Spirit…your generosity is well appreciated and shall be held sacred in my heart for all time." the silvery-haired cherub thanked me as he exhibited a most radiant smile.

"I hope that I can always be there to share in your happiness," I answered, gazing into his green orbs with pristine feelings of total adoration, "as well as your sadness and hours of darkness. Permit me to hold the honor of flying with you in moments of contentment and kissing your tears off your face when you're lost in the horror of the shade."

"Of course I will want to have you by my side from now until the end of eternity, you have my word on that one. Just name the manner in which I can repay you for your benevolence."

"Well, you could stop applying impersonal titles to me now that we're together." I suggested, seeking to break the bounds of being referred to as just some wandering entity bouncing back and forth between the plains of existence.

"Gomen nasai!" apologized the little child quickly, the hurt returning to his star-lit spheres. "Ever since we came into contact with each other, you never told me your real name. Since I was too afraid to inquire about your whereabouts or background, I decided to leave you alone instead of interrogate you, and--"

"And that's all in the past, Hikari." I finished, mercifully putting an end to his guilt trip. "Don't worry about any of that now. We can start fresh, with no regrets, no remorse, and, best of all, no looking back."

Inhaling deeply, Bakura repeated after me. "Right…no looking back."

"Think you can do that?"

He exhaled, dispelling the oxygen from his lungs as if it was all the awful episodes from when he dwelled on earth. "Hai…I believe that is possible."

Giving him a satisfied grin, I said, "That's great. Maybe we can move on to other matters of business instead of bringing up what we can't change."

A ghost of a smile brightened the small teenager's visage. "So what is it that you wish of me?"

"Provide me with a name."

Blinking in bewilderment, the green-eyed boy asked, "Is that it? Is that all you want me to do for you, bestow upon you a label?" After seeing my head bob up and down, he bowed his head. "I'm not sure how to handle this one, Ya--I mean, uh, um--"

"Can you not do that much for me?"

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't know how to." admitted the tiny angel, his visage taking on a rosy hue all over again. "Forgive me, I have never done this before."

"Just call me what you have always wanted to."

"Would you mind having that name for as long as we are one?"

Grasping his face with my hands, I claimed his mouth with my own. His delicate lips pressed against mine, offering me the sweetest taste I have ever tried. Ryou and I basked in the heavy air of passion, feasting on each other's intake of air, the flavor of our skin, and the scent of our bodies. The level of intimacy had escalated to an inescapable degree, capturing us in its sizzling tides. Bakura was at the center of my simmering thoughts, like a hot springs with depths I sought to penetrate. Sliding my fingers through his waterfall of snowy tresses, I disconnected my countenance from his.

"That single title shall become our bond." I affirmed, winded from our heated interaction.

Breathing heavily himself, the celestial being replied, "Then I guess that settles it…you'll be known by the name I have dreamed so long of calling you." Catching his breath, the little child's loving stare seized my line of sight, clasping my full attention. "My sun, my moon, my stars in the sky, may you always light my path in the night so I can return to your side. I couldn't conjure up a better lover than you, and I truly believe I have dreamed you into life. Once you were a mysterious walk of life, then you became a best friend of mine, and finally, you are none other than the one I have devoted myself to for every year to come. At long last, I can live on and have your affection to accompany me. Koibito…as you would like to be identified as, heaven lacks perfection without your essence there."

"Ryou-chan, I love that name." I breathed, feeling the tenderness of his speech in my soul. "Say it again, please."

Obliging me with a sensational smile, Ryou situated his mouth close to my ear. "Aishiteru, Koibito."

Twining his dainty fingers around mine, I rubbed my cheek against the back of his hand. "Thank-you for everything, but I wish that I wouldn't have prevented you from receiving your wings…if anyone deserves them more than you, I haven't met them yet."

"For one thing to live, another thing must often be sacrificed." stated Bakura, exchanging a wistful look with me. "This holds true for everyone: from primitive creatures contending with the idea of survival of the fittest to Sigmund Freud's concept of the human psyche. Some animals must die in order for others to carry on, and people must stop being overly selfish so that the society they reside in can flourish."

"So much for God being so loving and just." I snorted while staring off into the vastness of space. "I think bringing a sociopath back from ever-lasting death should count for something."

"Oh, it does, Koibito…you just haven't seen it yet."

"What? What do you mean by tha--"

Before I could complete my sentence, the green-eyed boy slowly got to his feet. From out of nowhere, a summer-like wind kicked up, blowing my extensive white locks behind me. Almost as if he had cast a spell to summon the air-based element, the breeze swirled around Ryou's petite frame in great gusts. Crossing his arms over his chest, the celestial being closed his eyes and lowered his head. He wore an expression of complete peace; his features as calm and relaxed as a spiritually enlightened individual. In the mists of the self-created funnel cloud, two shining wings appeared on his back. Feathers as pure as a newborn's innocence floated through the air, brushing past my disbelieving eyes. When his magnificent wings had fully come into view, he raised his head and opened his eyes at the same time. The wind had come and gone, leaving a sparkling angel in its wake.

"How…?" was all I seemed to be capable of vocalizing, staring at him in wide-eyed shock.

"I live in heaven, and all denizens of Eden have wings." answered the green-eyed adolescent simply. "Everyone who exists in eternal paradise is an angel."

"You're absolutely breathtaking." I complimented him, quite taken with the new edition to his physical features. "I've never laid eyes upon anyone more striking."

Burying his chin in his upper body, the little angel's visage went a deep shade of scarlet. "I suppose it is a nice improvement, ne?"

"You'll always be beautiful to me, with or without the wings."

Nodding his assent, Ryou gave me his one-of-a-kind special smile. Stretching the feathery attachments on his shoulder blades, he walked towards me while straightening his clothes. Sliding down onto his knees, he gathered me up in his slender arms and placed me on his lap. Pleased with the arrangement, I snuggled with my lover, resting my head in a comfortable spot by his neck.

/Ah, my angel…/ I thought happily, sighing with satisfaction. /My own personal angel. I love you so, and I'm never going to let you go. /

Caressing the contours of my face, Bakura inquired, "Is their anything more I can do for you, Koibito?"

Yawning sleepily, I replied, "Sing to me…sing me a song."

"What would you like?"

"Anything," I murmured, feeling the weight of my eyelids grow heavier, "just sing to me."

Removing a few strands of hair from my visage, the adorable angel tucked them behind an ear of mine. Spreading his wings out to his sides, he encircled me within his angelic graces. They resembled a great, cozy blanket, sheltering me from the ills of the world. Filling his lungs with an intense supply of oxygen, he granted my request by performing for me an enigmatic ballad that spoke of an enchanted love before time.

~Owari

*End Note: Though this story was painful to write at times, I knew that it was necessary to document and post it before the idea to compose it escaped me. I believe we have all been in the main character's position at one moment or another in our lives, reflecting on the events that would have come to pass if we wouldn't have taken for granted another's affection for us. Fortunately, I was able to get a hold of myself before it was too late. I almost made the mistake of a lifetime: dismissing the love of someone close to me because I had been preoccupied with a sociopath that used me. Thankfully, I began to understand that my present relationship is far better than trying to resurrect some sort of haphazard bond with my previous lover. The truth does hurt, but lies always seem to sting worse. While dishonesty forces you to dwell on past occurrences, truth provides an avenue for someone to pick up the pieces of their existence and move on. Readers, I leave you with these last bits of advice:

1. If you are only telling someone you love him or her to preserve his or her feelings, you are doing that person a horrible disservice. Deceit only breeds hatred and low self-esteem, so always be truthful in your personal encounters.

2. Relationships require a great deal of trust, integrity, and communication. If any of these three basic elements are not present with whoever you are involved with now, you either have some issues to work out with them or you need to find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.

3. You can't consider yourself a good boyfriend/girlfriend if you aren't giving everything you can to your partner. When working with matters of the heart, it can't be all one-sided. Breaking up with your lover is a more humane thing to do than taking their affection for granted. If you aren't ready to commit to a single individual and bond with them physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I highly suggest you sort out what you desire in a mate first before you start dating. That prevents less heartache and despair for someone who might really care for you. They may not like it very much that you have no idea what you want at the moment, but at least they can respect you for your truthfulness.

One last thing: This fan fiction's romantic language would not have been possible without the aid of my current boyfriend. Verti-chan, my child of heaven's sanctuary, it is because of you that my characters were able to vocalize such sentimental thoughts. Without your constant compliments, faith, and trust in me, I would have never imagined such an amorous tale could have ever been invented by the likes of me. So, domo arigato, my "nymph of a necromancer," for you have succeeded in bringing me back from the realm of the dead. Vertigo, "my one and only," you truly are a magical individual…don't let anyone tell you differently.

~Until next time, ja ne! -^_^-