"When Dawn Comes"
By Kimra
Part XV
Serena watched as her hand brushed invisible dirt from her pant legs. Eyes fixed on her reflection in the store windows. Behind her, through the reflection she could see the blinking lights of the Crown Arcade, deceptively calm and peaceful, waiting for her.
Her nerves where fluttering about wildly but she pushed them down. They kept twittering but her body did not react to them. Her shoulders we're back, her hair tied back in her token buns, tails of gold flooding down her back to brush clothed legs.
She was dressed for battle, as close to battle as Serena Tsukino ever came. Comfortable and concealed. Soft baby blue full length pants, a short sleaved black top that clung to her frame, leaving the gap between pants and top bare, and over it a slightly opaque shirt of a dark blue with silver specs. She could have looked nicer, but that hadn't been her intention, the last thing she wanted him to think was that she was trying to impress him. So it had taken extreme care to dress that morning.
She brushed the side of her pants absently, her eyes watching the Crown Arcade through the glass sheets, with weary caution.
"The things I do for them." Serena murmured as she fortified another piece of her courage, and turned on her heel to face the arcade. She forgot, conveniently, that this was entirely her decision, that the others still knew nothing and therefore were the last people to have ordered her into the situation she was heading for.
She walked across the street, not too single minded to not look for traffic, her mother had raised her properly and she always looked. Approaching the doors she watched like a hawk as they swung open in greeting. She paused then, rallying her nerves and forcing them away from her reach, she did not want to be effected by this confrontation. It was important, it had to happen, and it would effect her in more ways then just as Sailor Moon, even she couldn't lie about that. But she still wished she could enter and leave it without being effected. One last effort to push all emotions aside and she crossed the threshold, the glass doors sliding back into place with a surprisingly ominous 'swoosh'. (AN ominous swoosh… hee hee… I couldn't resist writing that… sorry.)
Her eyes went to the same place they did every time she entered the arcade, and found the familiar raven's hair she had been checking for long before the night of Molly's party. Lithe eyes brushed across his frame, fortifying the knowledge that it was indeed Darien Shields.
Flash's of memory instantly bombarded her, and she pushed them away. They still kept her awake at night most of the time. She wondered if it was honestly possible to survive given the complete lack of sleep she had gotten over the last two weeks. She didn't think all up it would count as more then two hours sleep a night.
Roughly her eyes skimmed his body, hidden under black jeans and a top that clung to his muscles like skin. Her mind hazed for a second in thought, and before she could decide whether her dreams had overembellished his physic in any way she felt his eyes on her. Still a smooth feeling, rolling over her skin with warmth, which surprised her, she had expected the feeling to change.
She took her eyes from his arm's where they had stopped and found he wasn't facing her, for a moment she was confused then quirked a grin at herself which left as quickly as it came. Her eyes travelled past him to the mirror lining the bench where customers food was prepared, and found his eyes watching her through the mirror.
Calm. She reminded herself and began forwards. I hope I wasn't standing there for too long. She didn't let the second small grin escape her, this was serious and she would treat it as such. Her chosen seat at the bar was one down from his own, leaving a gap anyone who knew them would deem intentional, and although it was, the reasons they would assume where anything but right.
"Hey Serena, haven't seen you in here much recently." Andrew's cheerful blonde head appeared before her, his smile overbright and she returned it begrudgingly.
"Yeah." Serena replied slowly, her eyes quickly skimming the arcade around her to be certain her friends weren't there. "I've been busy." She continued when she was sure no one was in sight.
"Really?" He chirped overzealously as an un-requested milkshake slid into place before her. She frowned at it for the briefest of moments then managed a small smile.
"Yeah. Thinking and stuff." She knew it was vague, but that's how the words left her mouth and she was being careful, oh so careful to not let Andrew know what she was saying and praying that Darien would.
"Your friends where in here earlier." He continued unperturbed by her brisk responses.
"Good for them." Serena muttered sinking into her chair. Nothing like a reminder of the friends you failed to make your day. Her hand's didn't fidget any more then the slight twirl of her straw, she was minutely proud of that, but her insides had gone crazy again. Before Andrew could think of something else to say she decided to distract him the best way she could, give him something to do. "Hey can I have a triple chocolate banana split with extra sprinkles?" That time she made her voice perky, after all, it's what he would have expected from her when she ordered something that big. He turned away and moved across the counter to prepare the requested desert.
A silence settled over her as she waited, though she could feel Darien's eyes once more on her. She twirled the straw in a seamless motion riding out her fears and uncertainty, her large eyes flicking to Andrew only to be certain that she still had time before he reappeared with his excentric chirpiness.
Time was defiantly not on her side, she knew it. Bending down she took a long sip of her milkshake, still trying to delay the inevitable. Her left hand slipped down into her pocket grasping the Luna Pen.
"We have to talk." Serena told the beverage softly knowing he would hear her. Soft blue eyes skiting up to the mirror where she found Darien's once more watching her. Watching the reflection was easier then looking at him. It kept the arcade she always frequented unawares of her actions, and it kept her from being able to see his entire body at the same time. The dream's seemed to have made his physic obscenely appealing.
"I know." The deadpan look she received in return would have made her turn away if her left hand hadn't still clutched the Luna pen in reminder. She had to do this, for them, not for her. She wanted to run away, but for them… they where everything, far more important then her own sanity.
"Good." She snapped, masking thoughts and feelings from him, but unfortunately unable to do the same for herself. Her stomach was fluttering with those same butterfly's that had assaulted before she had even entered the arcade.
Andrew returned, and her serious expression evaporated into a gorgeous smile. "Andrew!" She gave a quick giggle, almost certain that's what she was expected to do. And he returned her smile with zest. Her eyes fixed on the desert she had ordered and she wished she hadn't ordered it. Her stomach, still butterfly filled, felt like it would reject anything that even slightly resembled food, it was having enough trouble with the mouthful of milkshake she had already put in it. Maybe a dry cracker or two would have worked but Ice-cream was completely beyond her.
"One triple chocolate banana split with extra sprinkles for my favourite customer." And surprisingly he disappeared along the counter to some other customers.
She forgot Darien for the briefest of moments as she tried to contemplate what to do with the mound of ice-cream waiting for her attention. Maybe I can give it to the homeless. Her head titled ever so slightly, watching the dribble of chocolate sauce trailing down the thing. She didn't even attempt to hide her expression of repulsion at the thought of eating the thing, it was far to much to handle when her nerves where being battered about so much. But she couldn't' very well ignoring it, that would hurt Andrews feelings and she didn't feel up to that either. The dilemma's of modern woman. It took three more stares at the desert before she decided she didn't care what Andrew thought and pushed it away in disgust.
"I'm done." She muttered, standing from the stool only then sensing the change in her companions demeanour. She looked a little surprised and found Darien. Her shoulders straightened abruptly, her mind snapping to the point. She ran her tongue along the bottom of her teeth as she considered her next words. It wasn't all that hard to say, considering her resolve, but she still wanted to keep it as unobvious as possible. "I'll- I'm going outside." She did roll her eyes as she left the arcade, almost certain that she had made absolutely no sense in her attempt to remain inconspicuous.
Outside of the arcade Serena walked left past the clear glass windows until she found solid wall. Her back lent against it gratefully as she once again rallied the control she needed for nerves. Through her mind she repeated the warning that the entire meeting was for the scouts so emotion couldn't hold it's place. Sure she had allowed emotion to effect her when they had threatened to tackle Tuxedo Mask for the crystals, but that had been different, she owed him her life.
She didn't allow herself to fidget as she waited, her hands locked before her, her eyes on the traffic, her ears on the arcade door. Every time it swung open her eyes would join her ears for the briefest of moments to identify whom so ever was exiting of entering the arcade. And the more people who did either, the more her nerves would gyrate with uncertainty and a tinge of anger. Just like him to ignore me. She thought with spite, she was getting to the point where she would walk away, or go back in and drag him out the consequences be damned, when a figure settled against the wall beside her.
She jumped, and glanced at the arcade doors, wondering if she had been paying attention or if he simply had a way to make the darn doors open without noise. Of course he doesn't your just being a ditz again.
"Fine." She growled more to herself then him, and she didn't look up to make sure it was him, she knew. Without a doubt every bone in her body was humming with recognition and they only did that for him.
She pushed away from the wall and began walking, feeling the presence follow her, wondering where exactly she was leading him. The idea of his apartment was shoved aside before she could really consider it. There is not a chance in this shell of a planet that I'm going near his apartment again. She considered the park, but was afraid her friends would be there. Having already being to the arcade it was highly possible. Why they where meeting without her she would have to think about latter, she would have said no, but it was odd for them not to invite her. Think about that latter. She demanded of herself still aware of the presence a few steps behind her.
She was almost impressed by their stealthy exit from the arcade, as if they did that often. Because she doubted, besides her forgotten ice-cream and milkshake there was anything out of skew. Except we didn't fight. Setting aside worry of discovery she went back to her search, she was going to have to find somewhere quickly, she knew, or he'd get sick of it and start the conversation in the middle of the street. At least she presumed he was, nothing about Darien had ever seemed subtle.
Stepping past an alley she stopped, the body behind her seeming not to notice walked into her back propelling her another step forwards.
"Hey!" Darien's voice bit. "Give a person some warn-" Without a word she grabbed his arm and yanked him into the secluded ally. "-ing Meatball Head."
She didn't heed the triad that seemed to die as he spoke. She wondered though, if he had only just realised the insult slipping out of his mouth. Automatic reflex. She noted but pushed that away. She wanted nothing more then to deal with the moment.
The alley bent at an angle so that they couldn't see the street once they had moved a couple of lengths into it. Serena looked about to be certain that it was empty, noting that it was moderately clean and feeling a little smug that she could pick an alley at random and it still had a generally nice feel to it.
"Okay." She stated once more, and looked up at him to find he had caught up to the moment, he too was making a note of their solitude. "Okay." She repeated, and took a breath to settle her infernal and uncontrollable nerves. "We need to talk." She began once more. Outside of the familiar Arcade she found it was actually easier to talk, there was no one who could overhear them here.
"We do." He commented look down at her through dark indecipherable eyes. She did resent the fact that the sun was almost behind him, making what would normally be a hard expression to read impossible.
"Okay." She repeated once more. Shut up, just shut up. You can do this. You have to do this. She had been nervous to begin with, she couldn't even think of a word to describe the butterfly's that had crept in under every pour of her skin and where presently giving her a squirmy weak feeling. Her mouth went to say they need to talk and she stopped. Something else. She reminded herself her jaw clamped in her refusal to talk until words of sense or originality where willing to emerge. She glared up at him angrily, he wasn't being any help at all. At least I've made a couple of attempts, his just standing there like an idiot. She continued to glare, her mind filtering incoherent thoughts and gibberish into something that was mushy but a bit more stable. She was going to filter them a bit more when he interrupted her attempts.
"Look." He began, a hand sliding through his hair, his eyes skimming up the alley way to where the main street waited. He paused, taking a deep breath, his tongue snaking out to wet his lips.
And for some odd reason she got her courage, like a flash of light she remembered why she was there. Not just a realisation but the firm knowledge seeping into her that she had to know what had happened that night. It wasn't honour or pride, although they both held a strong pull on her, it was life. The life of the world, the need to defend the planet from an evil that made her shudder every time she let herself think about it. Something had happened that night and she needed answers.
So the question she forwarded next was with a strength and certainty she usually reserved for Sailor Moon or a very pissed off Serena. "What happened?"
He looked at her for a moment then back up at the alley.
"I don't remember what happened, Darien. I need to know." Saying his name took a few inch's of her courage but she clung to it. Determination just as bright as before.
"I was-" He gave a pause, a nervous pause she realised. "I was incredibly drunk-"
"You don't remember do you?" She demanded through gritted teeth. Her body was quaking with uncertainty, he had been her hope for a little solidity to the night.
"I was incredibly drunk." He repeated his voice strong. She looked up into his eyes and met the blue depths with a sinking feeling in her stomach she refused to display. "I don't remember a thing." He continued, not looking from her eyes and she could see the honesty in his expression as much as she heard it in his voice.
Her body trembled with confusion. It shouldn't have happened, she knew it, it wasn't supposed to have happened. All because of a drink, she wanted to go as far as blame it on Molly's party but she had no grounds for it. If it wasn't for that one moment she wondered where she would have ended up. Certainly at least, Tuxedo Mask would still have his crystals.
And if Darien had been sober, she knew, if he had been sober nothing would have happened. He probably would have picked on her a bit, and he probably would have made sure she got home or somewhere safe. She had never thought so little of him to think that he wouldn't have driven her home. Sure she never would have lived down being drunk, he would have picked on her for a lifetime or two before it became one of those story's he only told when he ran out of new things to pick on her for. One of the "classics". She mockingly reminded herself. But the simple fact was, he hadn't been sober.
"You shouldn't have been drunk!" She exploded suddenly, wanting to blame him. Easier to blame him then herself.
"What?" He demanded staring at her. "Who's the fourteen year old?" He snapped staring down at her, obviously surprised by the outburst. "I'm a collage student! That's what there meant to do!"
"But you never drink! Nothing but coffee! Don't think I wouldn't have noticed if you had a hang over at least once. I can't imagine Mr. Straight A's going within ten feet of an alcoholic beverage yet alone getting drunk." Her voice was hot with poison, she needed it to be his fault, for sanity's sake.
"How would you know Serena?" There it was again. Her name on his lips. She realised he had been avoiding naming her, maybe he didn't want to call her anything but Meatball Head, but the situation would only have hurt more if he had been calling her that. He ran his hand through his hair, turned from her took two steps away and turned back, closing the distance between them once more. He was closer when he returned, she wondered if he noticed. "I was-" He took another breath, leaning back from her.
Obviously he noticed then. She grumbled to herself, and she took the step back that had her leaning against the filthy wall. It was obvious he hadn't been going to take that step away from her, and the proximity had pulled the few memory's she had of the event to the surface.
"I-" He began again, looking haggard. "I lost something very important to me that night. And your right. I don't usually drink. But I was a bit upset and very easily swayed under the drunken persuasions of my fellow college students."
How does he make getting drunk sound so fancy? She gritted her teeth and pushed that thought away again. She hatted her mind, it jumped far to quickly for her to maintain focus, even on something this important.
"Okay." She cringed as she said the word, the same emotion's of uncertainty lacing it as the conversation had begun with. "Do you remember anything?" She managed in a meek voice, it felt pointless after his admission, but she was being hopeful. His expression darkened for a minute but he shook his head in a no, shaking the expression away with the action. "Nothing at all?"
"Bit's and pieces, I guess." He replied casually, his eyes on the end of the ally once more. She felt herself flush at the words, that was probably how she would explain the flash's that kept her awake at night and distracted of a day. She wondered if those where the kind of 'bit's and pieces' he was referring to and decided she did not want to broach that subject.
"I-" She bit into her bottom lip, looking at her feet, the uncontrollable blush hidden from his sight. "I don't even know how we met up." She rambled, eye focusing on a crushed can by her feet. "I mean…" She stammered, suddenly uncertain of what to say. "W-w-where were you?" She managed. Your being childish. Her voice sing-songed to her ashamed over her stammering.
"I was at a college party. Where were you?" His eyes returned to her, and she was glad she had, had time to battle the blush.
"Molly's party." Serena responded automatically, her concentration engaged in trying to pry memory's from her unyielding brain.
"Where does she live?" Darien's voice was smooth, with a feeling of control laced through it.
"Above her mothers jewellery store, Osa-P Jewellery Store" Serena mumbled almost incoherently.
"That's no where near the park." Darien replied casually. Serena's head shot up.
"You where at the park?" She asked slowly, not quite certain of how to respond to that information. It occurred to her, she hadn't pried out of Tuxedo Mask where the attack had been.
"Yeah, probably, I mean, I can't imagine you, even a drunk you, catching the elevator up to where the party was. And it had sort of spilled across the road from that guys apartment building into the park." He rambled for a little bit and she lost what he was saying somewhere along the lines.
She didn't even notice that pause that happened, Too caught in her own thoughts about how to question around about that Justin character without her friends noticing to remember the presence. That was of course, until a large hand slipped gently onto her shoulder.
Surprised her eyes jumped up to meet his, and found concern and a little confusion that was so much more understandable now she realised he didn't remember.
"Shit Serena." He breathed quietly, his eyes holding hers with there intensity. "I have flash's bits and pieces, but…" Another breath was drawn in, as if he was afraid he would run out of air before being able to get the words out. She didn't blink, couldn't blink at the expression staring at her. "but-" Another breath. "I don't remember doing anything…" Again he paused, he shifted to look away and automatically she captured his check preventing his eyes escape. Her nerves didn't even let her register her own movements, all she knew was she couldn't look away and neither could he. He frowned down at her, the tiniest frown but it was there and with her attention devoted so wholly to his expression she noticed it. "I don't remember doing anything that-that would have caused those kind of bruises."
Her breath escaped her sharply, she hadn't thought she had been holding her breath, too transfixed with him to pay attention to herself. She released his check, finally realising her hand was resting on it. Her head tilted back to the dirty bricks, and she let out another breath. She had been expecting worse, far worse, but then she couldn't exactly brush the possibility that it was him away either.
He surprised her by capturing her chin and tilting her head back to face him.
"I don't think." He continued, that little frown flicking in and out of existence. "I don't think I would ever do something like that." His voice was firm, with a sense of assurance that held in his eyes as well. "Drunk or not. I would never hurt you." And he released her, his hand moving from her shoulder, his other from her chin. One of his hands automatically went to the back of his own neck, rubbing tense muscles.
"That's nice to know Darien." She teased in a joking voice, needing something to remove the tension that had built in those two attempted sentences. "I didn't know you cared." She continued. After all it was the token teasing remark to be used when confronted with a statement like that, besides it was slightly true, but she wouldn't admit it.
He groaned and hit his head into his hands.
"Oh gods. This is all wrong." He muttered into his hands with a degree of desperation that set her on edge. She was the tiniest bit worried about his mental health, and she guessed the situation couldn't have been playing very well for him either. Control was one of those things she attributed to Darien, waking up in bed with a fourteen year old certainly didn't hint towards anything like control. Concern she couldn't explain flared.
"Hey. What's to worry right?" She teased lightly, watching him move across the alley in a frustrated manner. "Look." She began with a rational voice, catching his attention again. "I don't remember it." She breathed and straightened her shoulders in determination. "You don't remember it." She nodded her head to herself in agreement. "So let's just forget it happened." She didn't even stutter. The first thing to come out of her mouth that she felt the most certain about. His expression went blank, and behind her back she clenched her hands together with uncertainty. His response had not been what she had hoped for. She gave a nervous laugh. "Because considering our memory problems it wont be that hard right?" She watched him carefully as she rambled, sure she had flash's but she could ignore them, they would probably go away eventually, and they might not have even been real. The only real memory she had of the event was waking up in his bed, naked, and sore. She cringed inwardly at that but stared into his eyes in hope.
"Okay." He whispered his eyes settling on her. "We forget." He repeated as if uncertain.
"Back to Meatball Head for me." Serena chirped, her hands clasping tighter under his scrutiny. "Back to Jerk for you." She gave him a smile, a friendly smile trying to smooth the deal over.
"We forget." He repeated in a near whisper, then seemed to shake himself, because the next second he was standing taller and looking determined. He nodded his head at her and her smile broke into a grin.
"See you latter then!" She cheerfully called and headed for the exit. She heard him murmur something, but couldn't make out the words. Not wanting to stand in the alley with him any more, her nerves still stretched to the limit she left, aware of only two problems remaining. Not a single one of them where small. The Rainbow Crystal's where still missing in action with the overwhelming chances that Zoisite had them, and more importantly, Luna needed to be told. She had held it off, the others had assumed she had confided in the cat, obviously, because they two hadn't told her guardian. So she had to tell her, convince her not to tell them about Darien, and somehow sort the whole thing out. Her mind jumped back to the only thing left before confronting Tuxedo Mask for answers.
Justin had to be found.
But first, she would see if Andrew had thrown out her triple chocolate banana split.