Thank you everyone for those amazing reviews, I'm really glad you all set aside your time to review me like that.
And umm… just in case anyone's suffering from delusions, this story still has a little while to go. I'm trying to get it done, it's getting old and probably boring, and besides I'm having more fun writing my other story's right now (which you should all read as well… especially Innocent's Violence… it's so clieche, but I think it's fun… -end plug here-). –cough- sorry.
I hope I can get more of this out soon for all of you.
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"When Dawn Comes"
By Kimra
Part XIX
Serena knocked on the apartment door resolutely, her mind jumbled but certain. The tranquillity of the night around her had no effect on her nerves, nerves which where humming with uncertainty and curiosity.
She wasn't expecting the door to open when it did. She actually expected to have to knock three or four times before she roused anyone. From her best guess it was somewhere near midnight. But the door opened before her without warning, revealing a frowning Darien, whose's expression went blank the second he recognised her.
Serena tried to talk, her attempt falling to pieces the second she realised he didn't have a shirt on, her mind freezing in a loop of memories as she stared at him. Her hands had explored that strong chest before, and they itched to do it again.
"What are you doing here?" His voice seemed strained, and her eyes jumped up from his chest to his eyes making contact. His expression was darker then she could ever remember it being and she went to step back a little scared. As if he sensed it the expression cleared to nothing, but there was still something in his eyes. And it didn't scare her, although there was some fear in her for the expression, it excited her and she knew why. That dark look existed too in her memories.
"I-" She stopped, rethinking trying to breath properly, "we-" again she stopped, not even sure what she was trying to say. She looked down the empty corridor then up to him. "Can I come in?" She asked gently trying to control her frantic heart rate. His presence before her was like an anchor drawing her in and pulling her closer, and she was trying to remain calm in the centre of the overwhelming feelings.
His hand flexed about the doorframe, his body fixed in the doorway and completely unmoving and she realised he was baring her from his apartment. "I don't think-" He swallowed his eyes jumping to a spot over her shoulder, breaking eye contact. Then after a pause continued. "I don't think you should." There was a slight strain to his voice still, and Serena was struck with a realisation, it was restrain.
Without warning she breached the distance between them, her arm's enclosing his neck and her lips and body slamming into his. It set him completely off balance and threw him against the wall a step behind him. He gripped her waist and pushed her away sharply before the kiss could be anything but chaste.
"Don't." His voice was dark and filled with warnings and she allowed herself to be pushed back a step or two, but not out the door, she refused to leave yet.
"You remember it don't you?" Serena demanded in between gasps for air. Her body was burning with the need to touch him, to repeat what her mind continued to replay for her.
"No." He snapped, his eyes averted from her own, she knew he was lying. He went to move her out of the apartment but she refused to budge. He surrendered his struggle to remove her from his apartment and went to walk away from her. She lunged, clasping her hand around his forearm, appreciating the friction of the bare skin contact. Even the slightest touch felt more real then the memories she had been allowed, and she dazedly wondered how much the others sensations would be amplified. She blushed at her own thoughts, but didn't stop them.
"Just bit's and pieces. Right?" She managed to snap out. "That's what you said, bit's and pieces." Serena demanded, her fingers tight around his arm. She calmed herself a fraction. "That's all I got too." She whispered, but it was enough, his body turned sharply to face her. "Every time I closed my eyes I'd get bit's and pieces of memories. Of us. I wanted to forget it, forget that I ever lost control of a moment, but tonight, it just didn't let me go." She breathed harshly staring up into his eyes pleadingly. "You remember don't you? You didn't before, but you do now. More then bit's and pieces, just like I do." He frowned at her again and looked away.
"You should go." He warned.
"It doesn't work!" She snapped, angry at his rejection. He looked at her, a flicker of concern in his features before they where neutral again. "I can't just walk away and forget. I want to! But I can't!" She took a step closer to him and he went to retreat. Her body trembled with the need the dreams had drawn out in her. "I haven't slept properly since it happened, and every time my eyes close your there! I can't get rid of it, I can't ignore it and I don't want to!" Again she breached the distance between them faster then he could react, her lips finding his, her arm's locking about him demanding and persistent.
And in the next moment she was in his arm's again, just like in her memories, only this time it was better, because this time she had control of her sense's and it was not a frazzled memory that refused to surface properly. And every touch of his was felt like a wave through her nerves sizzling her mind until it could think of nothing but him.
She put as much passion, as much demand as she could into the kiss, knowing there was no other way to get what she wanted. It was strange, inhibition was beyond her, and all she really knew was she needed this more then anything else she had ever wanted.
The kiss's deepened, and she let it, let him lead her further into passion her hands searching over his bare chest, trusting him to hold her close. Her pulse raced with excitement, feeling the taut muscle's under her touch, marvelling as he flexed his arm's beneath her hands and lifted her off the ground. Her legs clamped down around his waist in reflex, the kiss's still continuing, throwing them deeper into each other.
And no more protests came from either of them as they surrendered to the moment.
Serena woke disorientated, the light, although there was little of it was wrong. She sat up with a groan of frustration wondering why the moonlight would be playing tricks on her. The smooth feel of satin sheets as she slid down her upright body surprised her and she glanced down finding herself bare of clothing.
Startled by the realisation Serena grabbed at the blanket and drew it up over her chest, her eyes flicking about quickly, desperate to find orientation. She found it when she realised the room was not entirely unfamiliar, and more when she found the male body lying next to her.
Memory intruded on her sleepy mind, making her blush several times before she forced thoughts of embarrassment away. She tried to reason with herself unsuccessfully, she wasn't even sure why she was there. But she knew something had brought her there, something beyond her power to understand, beyond her power to fight. She wondered if it was desire, because she felt that as she stared at the strong body still asleep beside her, but it didn't seem quite right.
Darien made a noise, his body shifting on the blankets, and she held her breath staring at him but he did not show signs of waking. Her breath released and she clutched the sheet to her a little tighter. Out the window she could see it was still night time, the moonlight reflecting of the glass and littering the room with strange sparkles she chose to ignore. Her room was better, that pure untainted moonlight filled her with such solidity that she could feel nothing but stable when she let it protect her. This room had the air of mysticism and inexplicability that enchanted her but put her on edge.
Again Darien made a noise, and absently she rested her hand on his chest in a request for silence. Feeling the gentle heart beat beneath her touch and calming his prone figure with the action.
Her breaths where almost silent as she soaked in the atmosphere of the room, her room might have been better, but there was something enthralling about this one.
She shook her head, removing inconsequential thoughts and turned her attention to the man resting by her side, his warm chest still rising and falling peacefully below her hand. This, she knew, was what she had to think about, not the lighting of the room. This was the centre of all her dilemma's or more to the point 'he' was.
No the centre of your dilemma's still that night. You still know nothing. She warned herself but finding out about that night had suddenly taken a step backwards in her priority list. She had to think this through. Okay, fact. You just slept with Darien… again. Serena gave a little groan, her head threatening a headache. She had barged into his home and seduced him straight into bed, no talking no asking how he was, it had been sex pure and simple, and although she couldn't find any real remorse for the night she could feel the beginning of guilt touch her awareness.
She couldn't imagine explaining it to him, when he woke up, when he had more then male hormones to think with. She hadn't given him the chance the night before, she had been unwilling to, and if it had been her… when she woke, she would be pissed. And she didn't want to face that. She didn't want to face guilt or anger, what ever came. There had been no harm in the actions, after all, they had done it before. But she was suddenly finding a hundred reason's not to be there when he woke up. And they all revolved around a reaction she was completely uncertain of and her fear for each and every possible one.
Silently she slipped off the bed, finding her clothes this time where she remembered them to be, littering the little hallway between his front door and lounge room. They hadn't gotten very far into the house at all. The door had been their greatest obstacle the night before, trying to get it shut while not breaking the contact they had between them. It had shut in the end, she wasn't sure how well, but it had shut.
Serena physically shook the thoughts away, it wouldn't do now to think about what had just happened, she needed to be away. She needed to get back to the temple before her friends had coronas because she had disappeared so suddenly. Just because Raye had seen her leave didn't mean they wouldn't worry about her. And Raye…
Don't. She warned herself sternly, a drunk fling was one thing, a sober throw yourself at him fling was entirely different, but strangely she didn't feel guilt this time. Her need to be there had surpassed friendship as selfish as that sounded but Raye's puppy dog eyed attraction for Darien didn't hold ground against what Serena now had with him. What ever that was.
She left the apartment, latching the door properly behind her and pressed the elevator down button. She felt a little odd, rerunning the steps she had taken that life changing morning. Her fingers closed over her transformation broach her other hand reached into her pocket to find the communicator just to be certain. Nothing would wake him up this time, she would remember it, and she wouldn't regret it.
Serena got back to the temple somewhere near dawn, and found three girls sitting on the veranda each watching the other with worry and uncertainty etched across their faces.
"Hi guys." Serena managed blandly, not acknowledging the changes of emotions that ran across their faces like liquid silver.
Lita got the jump on the other two. "Oh my god Serena!" She propelled herself off the pole she had been leaning on and was across the small clearing in three giant steps. "Are you okay?" Lita demanded, wrapping a hug around the smaller girl then jumping back to check for injuries. Serena almost frowned at the reaction.
"I'm fine. I told Raye I was going for a walk." She looked over Lita's tall shoulder to nod to Raye, the scout of fire seemed to acknowledge the words but was not happy with the excuse.
"That was nearly eight hours ago!" Amy cried in indignation, her blue eyes flashing with a rare show of anger.
Serena shrugged and replied airily. "It was a long walk."
"We went looking for you." Raye snapped with agitation and Serena saw the agitation rising when she didn't response. "Anything could have happened!" Raye shouted her voice cracking. Serena expected her to continue but Raye turned sharply away from her, her shoulders slumping.
Serena licked her lips thoughtfully, trying to find a reaction inside herself, but nothing came. She felt disconnected from the scene of her angry and upset friends. Slowly, almost reluctantly she responded. "Well it didn't." It was the wrong thing to say she could tell from their reactions but till couldn't find it in herself to care. "Hey where's Luna?" Serena asked passively, her eyes scanning her motley group of friends who watched continued to watch her with transparent emotions. "I haven't heard any scathing remarks from that direction all day."
"She's been doing a lot of work on central recently, scanning for Nega-"
Serena cut Amy of quickly, not in the mood for the words about to be said. "Yeah whatever." She muttered to the blue haired girl, all she needed to know was when the reprimand would come.
"Don't you care Serena?"
"Not right now." She muttered snuggling into the blankets sprawled across the floor.
"What kind of a leader are you? This is important, and instead of showing even a mild interest you disappear for hours in the middle of the night." Raye began her usual chant of insults, all dutifully ignored by the impassive Serena. "And your not even listening!" Raye's scream managed to filter through and Serena tried to be calm, that she was exhausted helped her attempt.
"I'm trying not to." Serena muttered her eyes moving past the three angry teens through the temple doors where her bag waited.
"Where have you been?" Amy demanded in a tight voice, surprising Serena a response.
"I went for a walk!" She snapped, the impassive emotions drawing out into anger in the face of their reprimands.
"Do you think were stupid? Not even you go for eight hour walks in the middle of the night!" Raye warned.
"How would you know?" Serena growled her hand's closing into a fist. They didn't know anything about her. They had been pretending, and prying into her life for the last few weeks and it had done nothing but get in her way.
"We're your friends we just know." Lita tried calmly.
"Well maybe your assuming too much." Serena snapped, her anger taking full hold. "Maybe your assuming just because we're all Scouts we're friends. Just because of that we have to tell each other everything."
"Serena-" Amy began in a calm voice.
Serena interrupted her quickly. "We don't okay! It's none of your business what I do with my time or where I go! So get off my back!" She stormed past them, having to physically shove Raye aside so she could grab her night pack out of the temple. Then without another word, ignoring their pleading expressions she left the temple grounds.
Serena twisted the shower knob as far at it would go, the cold water cascading down against the tiled floor and quickly swirling down the drain. She stepped back, shaking her hand to remove the few drops of icy water that had splattered against her and moved to the corner of the tiled room to where she had dropped her night bag.
She had left the temple and gone straight to school, several hours early. She'd transformed and jumped the thick walls that protected school grounds then broken into the girls locker room before de-transforming again. The last thing she wanted was to make herself easy to find, should her shocked friends take it upon themselves to look for her again.
The silence of the building around her as she stripped her clothes off and threw them beside her night bag pressed in against her, a sterile silence that only schools and hospitals seemed to hold. She ignored it as best she could, finding it more comfortable then being at the receiving end of her friends expressions of hurt and anger.
Her hand reached out to test the water and it burnt into her skin, turning it red immediately. Serena sighed ignored the head and stepped in beneath the pounding water. It burnt her skin at first making her quake until her body had slowly adjusted, then she began to scrub herself clean.
She washed the matted sweat from her body, striving to remove a scent that was not her own. A scent that assaulted her senses and drew forth real memories, not dream memories. But it lingered under the scolding water, musky and sweet and entirely too overwhelming.
She got through the day with relative ease ignoring her friends, who in turned watched her solemnly yet silently. Her teacher berated her for not doing her homework, and then berated her about a test score, all of which Serena did not care about. The class sat a test which she barely attempted and when class was let out Serena managed to avoid any contact with anyone before she had gotten home.
Her mother greeted her entrance and Serena responded briefly before slinking off to her room. In her room Luna lay, asleep and oblivious, Serena decided she would keep the cat that way for as long as she could and instead gathered new clothes and locked herself in the bathroom, ready for the battle of getting rid of the sensation that he was still there, still a part of her no matter how far away from him she was.
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