Disclaimer: Not mine. OOCness.
Strange things be goin' on in here. Think my apartment's haunted. Light keeps flickering. Kinda scared. On with the story. Hope ya like!
The Reunion
Chapter 12: Pain of What Has Been
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Everyone stared at the sheet as the scene of Kenshin's departure from Tokyo played. Kaoru pleaded desperately with Akino. "Okaasan, do you really need to show us this? Kenshin and I already know what happened!"
Akino whispered soothingly to the fretful young woman. "Ah, that's true. But, you don't know what happened after you left each other's sight. That's what needs to be discovered."
Kaoru turned back to the screen, her sorrow from that day flooding her again as she watched the scene unfold.
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"I'm a wanderer, Kaoru-dono. And I must wander again. Sayonara."
Kaoru's tears fell swiftly and she made no motion to stop them or wipe them away.
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An echoing voice filled the room that sounded like Kaoru. Okaasan answered before anyone could ask. "Kaoru's thoughts. That will be happening from time to time."
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No. Why can't I say anything? He's just walking away. I'll never see him again. The Kenshin we all know will be gone. He'll return to being a manslayer and he'll never come back home. Why can't I say anything? I can't do anything! I can't move! I'm frozen!
Kaoru's panic grew stronger with each statement until finally a sob was heard and Kaoru folded onto the ground. She continued to cry and Kenshin continued to walk on, not looking back. Had he done so, his resolve would have crumbled and he knew that.
Kaoru regained her composure somewhat after crying until her eyes hurt. She was still weeping, but nothing like the river of emotions that had flooded her earlier. She merely moved to lean against a tree trunk.
The next scene was Yahiko, pacing in front of the dojo. "Kaoru should have been back by now. It's been almost three hours. I'm going to look for her."
He took off at a run for the spot they had planned on seeing the fireflies. The sight that greeted him made him want to strangle Kenshin. He knew before even speaking to Kaoru what had happened. He gently walked up to her and kneeled to be eye level with her.
"Hey, Kaoru. We need to go home. You can't stay out here all night." Yahiko's voice was more gentle than he had ever spoken before. It was almost a whisper and the concern was heavy in it.
Kaoru looked blankly at her apprentice. "It doesn't matter. He's still gone. Soon, you'll be gone. All our friends will move on and get married. All I'll have is myself and I won't allow it to come to that. I'll be one of the people to leave."
Kaoru's words chilled Yahiko. "You can't be serious! We all need you! No one is going anywhere, Kaoru."
Trying to lighten the mood, he added, "And married? Our friends? No way!"
Kaoru tried to smile, but it only made her bottom lip quiver again and she began her forceful crying one more time. Yahiko stopped trying to calm her and just helped her up and walked her back to the dojo.
Inside her room, Kaoru just cried in her bed. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat. She just existed. Yahiko kept a vigil over Kaoru for two days and finally made his way into town to find everyone. The first one he ran into was Sanosuke.
"DAMN IT! He broke our promise! He was supposed to have my permission before leaving Tokyo! DAMN IT!" Sanosuke broke anything in his way, too angry to care about the damage he was causing.
Tae and Tsubame watched the scene that was happening in front of the Akabeko. Tae turned her attention from Sano to Yahiko. "How's Kaoru doing?"
Yahiko's eyebrows knotted. "Not good. She hasn't eaten or left her room for days. She just lays there and cries. Do you think you could visit her later and try to cheer her up?"
Tae smiled sweetly. "Of course."
Yahiko ran off for his next destination with a 'thank you' thrown over his shoulder.
Kaoru was lying in bed, crying. Her eyes were swollen and puffy and she looked as if she had been there for quite some time with her disheveled hair and dull eyes. She moved, but only to sit in the dojo and cry some more, the only word she spoke was 'Kenshin.'
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Kenshin glanced at Kaoru. Had she really been that torn up when he went to Kyoto? Had he hurt her that much? It was heartbreaking to see her in such a state and realize that he had been the cause of it all. He put a reassuring hand atop hers when he saw a few tears escape her eyes. She whispered to him, "It still hurts, Kenshin."
He squeezed her hand. "I'm not wandering again, Kaoru-dono. I'm sorry, but it had to be done."
She nodded. She understood completely, but that didn't erase the pain.
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They watched the confrontation between her and Megumi. The doctor's words striking a flame in Kaoru that propelled her wishes into action.
Then, the scene switched to Kenshin. He walked away from the weeping Kaoru. As he disappeared into the forest, he kept walking, head bowed. Finally, he stopped and slumped against a tree. He raised his head and looked into the sky with moist eyes. "Gods, that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But, it had to be done. I must stop Shishio and I can't do that if I need to worry about coming back to Kaoru." He allowed his eyes to close and fell asleep sitting under the tree.
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Okaasan sighed as she slowly eased out of holding the images. "It takes a lot of concentration to put those up there for you all to see."
Kaoru looked at her confused. "Is that all there is to Kenshin's scene?"
Okaasan gave a breathy half-laugh. "Child, he hides his emotions all the time. Not just around people. Trust me. I watched him without his knowing it for years and it was always the same. A deep pain or tension within him that no one could see because he wouldn't allow it to be seen. Even when he was by himself. It's not that he felt less than you did, it's just that he had a reason to leave and he focused on that reason to hide his pain."
Kaoru looked at the ground. "I see."
Misao was practically bouncing in her spot. "Do you have a past scene for Aoshi-sama and myself?"
Okaasan smiled mysteriously. "No, dear."
Misao began to pout. "Why not?"
Okaasan laughed. "Oh, sweetie! I have something much better. For Kaoru and Shinta, the past that they didn't see from each other was important. For you and Aoshi, as with Sano and Megumi, the future is much more poignant. However, I do need to show Shinta one more part of Kaoru's past. He thinks she's never known the sorrow he has."
Kaoru closed her eyes. "Too much, Okaasan. I can't see what you're about to show."
Kenshin squeezed Kaoru's hand again. He moved his grip so their fingers were tangled together without even realizing what he was doing. Kaoru blushed lightly, but didn't say a word.
Okaasan uttered a few words and a scene appeared like before.
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Kaoru was sitting on the porch, taking a break from practice. "Whew! It's getting hot outside. Summer's coming fast this year."
A knock on the gate interrupted her thoughts. She hopped up and cracked the gate to see who was outside. "Oh! Hello! I'm so sorry, I forgot your names. But, I do know you're in father's group in the war."
The young soldiers shuffled their feet, one of them carrying an item wrapped in silk. Neither would look Kaoru in the eye or say anything.
Kaoru studied them suspiciously. "Um...is there something I can help you with?" The unease in her stomach grew as she looked at the silk. A silk package was delivered to the woman down the road and it had contained her dead husband's swords. Kaoru bit her bottom lip. It was delivered by soldiers.
Kaoru felt her legs go weak, but grabbed onto the gate. "Please tell me something. Anything. Just don't make me stand here and guess."
The soldier presented the package to her. "We're very sorry, Miss Kamiya. Your father was a noble man. He passed while fighting for his cause, in battle, just like a true hero."
Kaoru took the package, held it to her chest and sank to her knees. The soldiers bowed to her one last time and were gone. She didn't cry, she didn't break down. She opened the silk and stared at the metal inside. She attached the two swords to her waist and made her way into the forest.
There where no one could see her, she swung and yelled and screamed and cursed and cut down tiny saplings while chopping away at huge old trees. When blood started to run down her raw hands, she leaned her back against a tree and sobbed.
Dr. Genzai made his way through the trees and embraced Kaoru. "I followed your yelling, child. All of Tokyo could hear you."
Her muffled reply was barely decipherable. "I don't care. Let them hear."
Dr. Genzai guided her home, stopping by the clinic to wrap her hands.
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"Kaoru, I didn't know that happened. I knew your father wasn't around, but man." Misao didn't know what to say to her friend, so she just gave her a quick hug.
"I'm fine, Misao. It's not so hard to watch. I've had lots of time to come to terms with it. I mean, I was alone for six months before I met Kenshin." She bravely managed a smile for Misao and turned back to Okaasan. "What's next?"
"Well, how about a break? That's tough work! And then, the happy stuff! No more tears for this crowd." She stood up and scurried off to make more tea.
Kaoru frowned as Kenshin removed his hand from hers. He turned to face her. "Kaoru-dono, I'm sorry that you had to see that again."
Kaoru couldn't help but smile at his sympathetic expression. "Really, Kenshin. I'm fine. I'm just anxious to see the future."
Kenshin returned her smile and waited patiently for his mother's return.
She set down the tray and began to fix tea for everyone.
Kenshin fidgeted with his hands while he watched her fix tea. "Okaasan?"
"Yes, Shinta?"
"After this is over, what then? Do you have to leave?"
The old woman set her things down and rubbed her forehead lightly. "I'm afraid so. You see, I can't really stay here. I died, remember? It's isn't right for me to be in the physical realm anymore."
Kenshin's knuckles turned white as he clenched his hands. "That isn't fair. You just came back. I won't accept that I have to lose you again."
She scooted closer and clasped her son's hands. "Shinta, you don't need me anymore. You've grown up and into a fine young man. I was permitted to return only to help you get on the right track and then I had to promise to leave. I'm sorry, Shinta. But, don't you think you got a good deal?" She smiled warmly at him. "You got to see your mother again, which most people don't get and she got to stay with you for a while. You just have to be able to let me go again."
Kenshin sighed and closed his eyes. "I guess you're right."
She clapped her hands and went back to her position by the screen. "Okay, kids. Let's see what the future holds for you."
She uttered the same strange words and they watched the scene unfold.
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A/N: Sorry, had to stop there. My contacts are bothering me and it was a good chapter break. So, I'll try to update soon and then I have this one close to wrapped up! Please review and tell me what ya think! Hugs & Kisses!