The New York Oprah Studio towered over Remus, Gloria and Severus, and
cast a very cold, very gloomy shadow over them as they waited for Andromeda
and whatever backup she might inflict upon them.
"We should probably be in there getting Gilderoy off the stage." Remus said, suddenly realizing the silliness of them waiting for Andromeda to come back. Gloria was hopping with anticipation of meeting Gilderoy. Severus was almost hopping with anticipation of meating Gilderoy.
"Andromeda would get mad at us if we killed him without her." Severus pointed out.
"That's why..." Remus replied. Severus nodded. This was a very awkward way to be. But just as things got silent, a big yellow taxi pulled up in front of them. Sure enough, Andromeda pushed open the door and hopped out of the car.
"Hi guys!" she said, barely hitting her head on the top of the car. "I found reinforcements!"
"What unfortunate soul have you cursed this time?" Severus asked. Andromeda gave him a stern look, but ignored it otherwise.
"This is Siri- I mean, Mr. Snuffles." She said, as Sirius climbed out of the taxi.
Severus looked horror-stricken and a bit joyous. First of all: it was Sirius Black, his worst enemy and the one man who loved to torment him. Second of all: This could be his chance to capture Black finally and get that Order of Merlin he so deserved. Andromeda didn't seem to notice what kind of danger she was in, being with this convict. Oh, well. If Severus let Black help, he might do away with Andromeda. He might not be so bad after all.
"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "You're alive! Last I heard, you were supposed to be hiding out with me."
"Well, I was." Sirius replied, "But then I remembered the old flat here that I had bought way back when. Actually, most of it was in Annie's name."
"Oh, not her again." Severus growled, rolling his eyes. "I thought I would hear the last of her when she died!"
"You shut up before I ram my wand down your throat, buddy!" Sirius replied in rage. "Without her, you'd be dead!"
"Wouldn't that make you happy, Black!" Severus said, stepping towards Sirius, and reaching for his wand, "Then I would have the last laugh. I would be closest to your precious Annie at least!"
Sirius' face contorted into something between rage and disgust. He quickly reached for his wand, while Remus tried to think up something really fast.
"Hey!" Remus yelled, stepping in between Severus and Sirius. "Did either of you notice that Andromeda had no response when you were revealed as Sirius Black, Sirius?"
Severus and Sirius turned their eyes to Andromeda, who was staring off into space at the moment.
"Oh, yeah." Andromeda said quickly, "Sorry. Oh, my God, it's Sirius Black. Help."
Sirius and Severus fell silent, and kept their gaze on Andromeda.
"Shouldn't we be doing something?" Andromeda finally said, folding her arms. "You know- the psychopath that is publicly broadcasting the magic world over the tele?"
Severus and Sirius reluctantly stopped their mindless jabbering and followed Andromeda into the studio. As they walked, Remus suddenly found a problem in their non-existent plan.
"Guys?" Remus said, directing his words to Sirius and Andromeda, considering they were the only people NOT plotting to kill anyone. "How are we supposed to get past security?"
Andromeda hadn't thought of that. Sure enough, right in front of the entrance to the audience were a bunch of mean looking security guards, all dressed in pink uniforms that said 'Oprah' on them.
"Any ideas?" Remus asked.
"Easy." Andromeda commented. She turned to Gloria, who was still jumping up and down, with a stupid grin on her face. "Hey, Gloria." Andromeda said, nudging the definition of dumb blonde. Gloria replied with a blank stare and a single bat of her eyelashes.
"See those men?" Andromeda said, pointing to the guards, "Those men have captured Gilderoy, and they are making him marry the evil queen of... stuff! Do you want to help Gilderoy?"
Gloria nodded fiercely.
"Then all you have to do is say the magic words!" Andromeda said as one might say to a three-year-old with a learning disability.
"What are the magic words?" Gloria asked, eager to free Gilderoy.
"The magic words are 'I have a bomb.'" Andromeda said. "Got it?"
Gloria nodded again. She backed away from Andromeda, Severus, Remus and Sirius to get some space. She took in a few deep breaths, and repeated the 'magic words' softly in her head. Then she screamed them out.
"I HAVE A BEEM!" Gloria screamed at the top of her lungs. The guards stared at her. Andromeda slapped herself in the forehead.
"Bomb!" Andromeda whispered to Gloria.
"Oh. I HAVE A BOMB!" Gloria corrected. For a moment, Gloria looked almost as pompous as Gilderoy, as she proudly shrugged to Andromeda, as if saying, 'I was the only one who could have done it.'
That was when the guards hit her. They were on her like flies on a dead hippogriff, and they were angry. Gloria screamed bloody murder at Andromeda as she and the rest of the group slid into the studio unnoticed.
~*~
There you have it folks. Wow. See how horrible things get when Jerri can't find her notebook? Well- I found HALF of it, anyway. It's better if I don't explain. Let's just say my dog had ink all over his tongue when I got home one day. Luckily, I had a second copy of the book, which I mailed to my friend in the US for safekeeping. Actually, knowing her, I might find ink on HER tongue next time I see her. She's like that. (I'm just kidding, Erin, I love you!) Anyway- next chapter: whatever I can scrounge up without my book.
"We should probably be in there getting Gilderoy off the stage." Remus said, suddenly realizing the silliness of them waiting for Andromeda to come back. Gloria was hopping with anticipation of meeting Gilderoy. Severus was almost hopping with anticipation of meating Gilderoy.
"Andromeda would get mad at us if we killed him without her." Severus pointed out.
"That's why..." Remus replied. Severus nodded. This was a very awkward way to be. But just as things got silent, a big yellow taxi pulled up in front of them. Sure enough, Andromeda pushed open the door and hopped out of the car.
"Hi guys!" she said, barely hitting her head on the top of the car. "I found reinforcements!"
"What unfortunate soul have you cursed this time?" Severus asked. Andromeda gave him a stern look, but ignored it otherwise.
"This is Siri- I mean, Mr. Snuffles." She said, as Sirius climbed out of the taxi.
Severus looked horror-stricken and a bit joyous. First of all: it was Sirius Black, his worst enemy and the one man who loved to torment him. Second of all: This could be his chance to capture Black finally and get that Order of Merlin he so deserved. Andromeda didn't seem to notice what kind of danger she was in, being with this convict. Oh, well. If Severus let Black help, he might do away with Andromeda. He might not be so bad after all.
"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "You're alive! Last I heard, you were supposed to be hiding out with me."
"Well, I was." Sirius replied, "But then I remembered the old flat here that I had bought way back when. Actually, most of it was in Annie's name."
"Oh, not her again." Severus growled, rolling his eyes. "I thought I would hear the last of her when she died!"
"You shut up before I ram my wand down your throat, buddy!" Sirius replied in rage. "Without her, you'd be dead!"
"Wouldn't that make you happy, Black!" Severus said, stepping towards Sirius, and reaching for his wand, "Then I would have the last laugh. I would be closest to your precious Annie at least!"
Sirius' face contorted into something between rage and disgust. He quickly reached for his wand, while Remus tried to think up something really fast.
"Hey!" Remus yelled, stepping in between Severus and Sirius. "Did either of you notice that Andromeda had no response when you were revealed as Sirius Black, Sirius?"
Severus and Sirius turned their eyes to Andromeda, who was staring off into space at the moment.
"Oh, yeah." Andromeda said quickly, "Sorry. Oh, my God, it's Sirius Black. Help."
Sirius and Severus fell silent, and kept their gaze on Andromeda.
"Shouldn't we be doing something?" Andromeda finally said, folding her arms. "You know- the psychopath that is publicly broadcasting the magic world over the tele?"
Severus and Sirius reluctantly stopped their mindless jabbering and followed Andromeda into the studio. As they walked, Remus suddenly found a problem in their non-existent plan.
"Guys?" Remus said, directing his words to Sirius and Andromeda, considering they were the only people NOT plotting to kill anyone. "How are we supposed to get past security?"
Andromeda hadn't thought of that. Sure enough, right in front of the entrance to the audience were a bunch of mean looking security guards, all dressed in pink uniforms that said 'Oprah' on them.
"Any ideas?" Remus asked.
"Easy." Andromeda commented. She turned to Gloria, who was still jumping up and down, with a stupid grin on her face. "Hey, Gloria." Andromeda said, nudging the definition of dumb blonde. Gloria replied with a blank stare and a single bat of her eyelashes.
"See those men?" Andromeda said, pointing to the guards, "Those men have captured Gilderoy, and they are making him marry the evil queen of... stuff! Do you want to help Gilderoy?"
Gloria nodded fiercely.
"Then all you have to do is say the magic words!" Andromeda said as one might say to a three-year-old with a learning disability.
"What are the magic words?" Gloria asked, eager to free Gilderoy.
"The magic words are 'I have a bomb.'" Andromeda said. "Got it?"
Gloria nodded again. She backed away from Andromeda, Severus, Remus and Sirius to get some space. She took in a few deep breaths, and repeated the 'magic words' softly in her head. Then she screamed them out.
"I HAVE A BEEM!" Gloria screamed at the top of her lungs. The guards stared at her. Andromeda slapped herself in the forehead.
"Bomb!" Andromeda whispered to Gloria.
"Oh. I HAVE A BOMB!" Gloria corrected. For a moment, Gloria looked almost as pompous as Gilderoy, as she proudly shrugged to Andromeda, as if saying, 'I was the only one who could have done it.'
That was when the guards hit her. They were on her like flies on a dead hippogriff, and they were angry. Gloria screamed bloody murder at Andromeda as she and the rest of the group slid into the studio unnoticed.
~*~
There you have it folks. Wow. See how horrible things get when Jerri can't find her notebook? Well- I found HALF of it, anyway. It's better if I don't explain. Let's just say my dog had ink all over his tongue when I got home one day. Luckily, I had a second copy of the book, which I mailed to my friend in the US for safekeeping. Actually, knowing her, I might find ink on HER tongue next time I see her. She's like that. (I'm just kidding, Erin, I love you!) Anyway- next chapter: whatever I can scrounge up without my book.