~*~
"That should do it." Sirius commented, very pleased with the blank stare from everyone in the audience.
"Welcome to the show, everyone!" Remus said to the very confused New Yorkers. "There has been a small delay in beginning, but as soon as Miss Winfrey is ready, we'll start."
Oprah blinked at Remus. "What?" she said, looking a bit woozy.
"BLASTED LOCKHART!" Severus yelled from the back of the room. Andromeda, Remus and Sirius looked back to see Severus holding a big beige chair over his head.
"Severus, don't be so dramatic." Andromeda said, folding his arms.
"Is he going to throw that?" Oprah asked, still confused.
"Don't look at him." Remus said. "He's only doing it for attention."
There was a muffled 'ugh' from the general direction of the floor. Gloria was slowly coming out of some kind of comatose state.
"Damn it, she's alive." Andromeda said under her breath.
"What's going on?" Gloria asked in her oh-so-annoying high-pitched voice. "Did the scarf come in another color?"
Andromeda raised her eyebrows. "Right..." She said, rolling her eyes. "She's all yours, Remus."
"Thanks a-..." Remus was interrupted by a flying beige chair, quickly gaining on him. Without much consideration, he ducked, and the chair hit Gloria, smack in the face.
"Severus!" Andromeda said, trying to sound worried, but barely masking the laughter in her voice. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Look, missy!" Severus said, storming to Andromeda's side, almost tripping over the still unconscious Gilderoy, "I have a short temper, a large supply of beige chairs, and bad aim, so DON'T MESS WITH ME!"
"Whatever." Andromeda replied. "Just next time you decide to go nancing about on a killing spree-..."
"I wasn't nancing!" Severus replied defensively.
"Whatever you want to call it, don't do it again!" Andromeda said.
Severus opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought better of it. Sirius was pleased with this response. He elbowed Remus in the ribs, and mouthed something that look a lot like 'He was SO nancing.'
~*~
" I hate buses. They're grimy and smelly and stupid and pointless. I hate them."
"Severus, just get on the bloody bus." Andromeda said, pushing him forward and on to the big white bus that was eagerly waiting to go to their hotel.
After Severus reluctantly got on the bus, and was pouting with arms folded, and Andromeda massaged her temples in hopes that he would desist, Remus and Sirius were catching up a couple of seats away.
Sirius, tired of his gameboy, and Remus, tired of trying to wake up Gloria, (although who would want to in the first place) finally decided to strike up a conversation.
"So." Sirius began, a bit awkwardly. "How have you... been?"
"Fine." Remus replied, letting the unconscious body of Gloria falling on to the floor. "And you?"
"Same." Sirius said, twiddling his thumbs.
"So, why didn't you come and hide out with me when things were in trouble?" Remus asked.
"Well, I still had this apartment." Sirius said. "Plus, it seems like your house was full anyway." Sirius added, nudging Remus's shoulder and gesturing to Gloria.
"Is that all you think about?" Remus asked. There was a silence.
"That and skeeball." Sirius finally admitted. "Anyway." Sirius continued, really wanting to start one particular conversation. "Andromeda."
Remus waited for more of a sentence, but realized that an entire sentence really was asking too much of Sirius.
"What about her?" Remus asked, begging to whoever would listen that Sirius didn't want her phone number.
"Doesn't she remind you of someone?" Sirius said, as if it were completely obvious.
"Not really." Remus replied, "Does she remind YOU of someone?"
"Well, you know." Sirius said, shrugging. "Annie."
Remus laughed sarcastically. "Annie?" He echoed. "What in the world reminds you of Annie in Andromeda?"
"Um... Let me think... THE NAME!" Sirius scoffed, really doubting his friend's wits.
"There are LOTS of sorceresses named Andromeda!" Remus corrected.
"HA!" Sirius said, standing up in his seat. "You said SORCERESS! Andromeda is not a sorceress, but Annie was! You are on the same track of mind as I am!"
"Are you telling me that Andromeda is Annie?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded furiously.
"This from the man who accused Albus Dumbledore as being the Pillsbury Doughboy?" Remus asked.
"POKE HIM IN THE STOMACH! HE GIGGLES!" Sirius yelled defensively.
"I can't continue this conversation with you." Remus said, waving his hand as if pushing the subject away.
"You just don't want to admit I'm right." Sirius said confidently. "That would mean I was smarter than you."
"Yes, it would terrify me if my I.Q. were lower than that of a deck chair." Remus quipped.
"Humph." Sirius murmured. "It makes perfect sense though! She could have faked her own death, just like Wormtail! But then she dyed her hair, and changed a few things about herself, and got a job at Hogwarts to look over you-know-who."
"Voldemort?" Remus asked.
"No, stupid." Sirius replied. "You know who I'm talking about. You know, cuz it's kinda her job to look after him. Anyway, it's a perfect crime! Not that it's a crime, but-..."
"You've been watching 'Passions' again, haven't you?" Remus asked, picking Gloria up off the ground. "It's been almost fourteen years. Let her go. Ok? The rest of us have."
"Not Severus!" Sirius said, trying to find a way out of leaving the subject alone. "But then, I guess that kind of thing is in the family."
~*~
"I hate buses so much, Andromeda, you don't understand."
"I think I'd understand enough by just listening to you bug me about it the whole ride."
"You're so insensitive."
"Me? YOU were the one who made that little boy cry when you bought the last lolli."
"He was asking for it. He threatened me!"
"He was FIVE!"
"He was the scariest five year old I ever met."
Silence.
"He was at least six."
"Oh, stop being such a child." Andromeda finally put the argument to a rest. "I have such a headache right now."
"I know." Severus said. "He's been hanging on to the back f the bus for some time now."
"What?" Andromeda asked, trying to figure out what the hell Severus was talking about. But all was understood when Andromeda looked at the back of the bus, and saw Gilderoy Lockhart clinging on to the bumper for dear life, and waving at cars as they drove past.
~*~
Yup. Um... that's it. I'll try to get some more up tomorrow night, if I'm lucky. Don't worry if things get a little confusing. It's supposed to be that way. (There are clues all over the place. Even in the prequel.) Anyway- happy holidays to those of you celebrating them. -Jerri
"That should do it." Sirius commented, very pleased with the blank stare from everyone in the audience.
"Welcome to the show, everyone!" Remus said to the very confused New Yorkers. "There has been a small delay in beginning, but as soon as Miss Winfrey is ready, we'll start."
Oprah blinked at Remus. "What?" she said, looking a bit woozy.
"BLASTED LOCKHART!" Severus yelled from the back of the room. Andromeda, Remus and Sirius looked back to see Severus holding a big beige chair over his head.
"Severus, don't be so dramatic." Andromeda said, folding his arms.
"Is he going to throw that?" Oprah asked, still confused.
"Don't look at him." Remus said. "He's only doing it for attention."
There was a muffled 'ugh' from the general direction of the floor. Gloria was slowly coming out of some kind of comatose state.
"Damn it, she's alive." Andromeda said under her breath.
"What's going on?" Gloria asked in her oh-so-annoying high-pitched voice. "Did the scarf come in another color?"
Andromeda raised her eyebrows. "Right..." She said, rolling her eyes. "She's all yours, Remus."
"Thanks a-..." Remus was interrupted by a flying beige chair, quickly gaining on him. Without much consideration, he ducked, and the chair hit Gloria, smack in the face.
"Severus!" Andromeda said, trying to sound worried, but barely masking the laughter in her voice. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Look, missy!" Severus said, storming to Andromeda's side, almost tripping over the still unconscious Gilderoy, "I have a short temper, a large supply of beige chairs, and bad aim, so DON'T MESS WITH ME!"
"Whatever." Andromeda replied. "Just next time you decide to go nancing about on a killing spree-..."
"I wasn't nancing!" Severus replied defensively.
"Whatever you want to call it, don't do it again!" Andromeda said.
Severus opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought better of it. Sirius was pleased with this response. He elbowed Remus in the ribs, and mouthed something that look a lot like 'He was SO nancing.'
~*~
" I hate buses. They're grimy and smelly and stupid and pointless. I hate them."
"Severus, just get on the bloody bus." Andromeda said, pushing him forward and on to the big white bus that was eagerly waiting to go to their hotel.
After Severus reluctantly got on the bus, and was pouting with arms folded, and Andromeda massaged her temples in hopes that he would desist, Remus and Sirius were catching up a couple of seats away.
Sirius, tired of his gameboy, and Remus, tired of trying to wake up Gloria, (although who would want to in the first place) finally decided to strike up a conversation.
"So." Sirius began, a bit awkwardly. "How have you... been?"
"Fine." Remus replied, letting the unconscious body of Gloria falling on to the floor. "And you?"
"Same." Sirius said, twiddling his thumbs.
"So, why didn't you come and hide out with me when things were in trouble?" Remus asked.
"Well, I still had this apartment." Sirius said. "Plus, it seems like your house was full anyway." Sirius added, nudging Remus's shoulder and gesturing to Gloria.
"Is that all you think about?" Remus asked. There was a silence.
"That and skeeball." Sirius finally admitted. "Anyway." Sirius continued, really wanting to start one particular conversation. "Andromeda."
Remus waited for more of a sentence, but realized that an entire sentence really was asking too much of Sirius.
"What about her?" Remus asked, begging to whoever would listen that Sirius didn't want her phone number.
"Doesn't she remind you of someone?" Sirius said, as if it were completely obvious.
"Not really." Remus replied, "Does she remind YOU of someone?"
"Well, you know." Sirius said, shrugging. "Annie."
Remus laughed sarcastically. "Annie?" He echoed. "What in the world reminds you of Annie in Andromeda?"
"Um... Let me think... THE NAME!" Sirius scoffed, really doubting his friend's wits.
"There are LOTS of sorceresses named Andromeda!" Remus corrected.
"HA!" Sirius said, standing up in his seat. "You said SORCERESS! Andromeda is not a sorceress, but Annie was! You are on the same track of mind as I am!"
"Are you telling me that Andromeda is Annie?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded furiously.
"This from the man who accused Albus Dumbledore as being the Pillsbury Doughboy?" Remus asked.
"POKE HIM IN THE STOMACH! HE GIGGLES!" Sirius yelled defensively.
"I can't continue this conversation with you." Remus said, waving his hand as if pushing the subject away.
"You just don't want to admit I'm right." Sirius said confidently. "That would mean I was smarter than you."
"Yes, it would terrify me if my I.Q. were lower than that of a deck chair." Remus quipped.
"Humph." Sirius murmured. "It makes perfect sense though! She could have faked her own death, just like Wormtail! But then she dyed her hair, and changed a few things about herself, and got a job at Hogwarts to look over you-know-who."
"Voldemort?" Remus asked.
"No, stupid." Sirius replied. "You know who I'm talking about. You know, cuz it's kinda her job to look after him. Anyway, it's a perfect crime! Not that it's a crime, but-..."
"You've been watching 'Passions' again, haven't you?" Remus asked, picking Gloria up off the ground. "It's been almost fourteen years. Let her go. Ok? The rest of us have."
"Not Severus!" Sirius said, trying to find a way out of leaving the subject alone. "But then, I guess that kind of thing is in the family."
~*~
"I hate buses so much, Andromeda, you don't understand."
"I think I'd understand enough by just listening to you bug me about it the whole ride."
"You're so insensitive."
"Me? YOU were the one who made that little boy cry when you bought the last lolli."
"He was asking for it. He threatened me!"
"He was FIVE!"
"He was the scariest five year old I ever met."
Silence.
"He was at least six."
"Oh, stop being such a child." Andromeda finally put the argument to a rest. "I have such a headache right now."
"I know." Severus said. "He's been hanging on to the back f the bus for some time now."
"What?" Andromeda asked, trying to figure out what the hell Severus was talking about. But all was understood when Andromeda looked at the back of the bus, and saw Gilderoy Lockhart clinging on to the bumper for dear life, and waving at cars as they drove past.
~*~
Yup. Um... that's it. I'll try to get some more up tomorrow night, if I'm lucky. Don't worry if things get a little confusing. It's supposed to be that way. (There are clues all over the place. Even in the prequel.) Anyway- happy holidays to those of you celebrating them. -Jerri