Author's Note: So I'm guessing there's no complaints on the violence, right? Okay then, we got a very special guest star in this chapter, and I'm pretty sure you know who it is if you read the last chapter. So, without further interruptions, let's begin.
Chapter 12: A Flame in the Shadows
The very first thing I wanted to do as soon as we returned from our attack was to take a bath. Upon returning into the inn, I was now able to see the ruby red liquid now dried all over my entire body. My appearance drew in the attention of everyone in the room, all those eyes, not a sign of expression in any of them, they looked just like white orbs with dots in the center, staring blindly at me. It couldn't be helped, the blood was everywhere, my hair, my clothes, even my face. I averted my eyes from them, turning them to the floor, watching the remaining droplets of red fall to the oak boards.
"Let's go, Mina," Kenshin said as he tugged my arm, "you go wait in the room while I warm up the bath for you."
I continued staring at the floor as I walked toward my room, no, not walking, dragging myself. For some reason some kind of force was holding my entire body down, trying to drag me to the center of the Earth. I sat alone in the west corner of the room, staring at the yellow-greenish tatami, now painted with a few spots of scarlet. My body was still being weighed down, what was the force that did this, guilt? Perhaps it was, because I can also hear some kind of voice somewhere around the room, my voice, though it wasn't lecturing to me how killing was wrong, it did quite the opposite.
"You enjoyed that, didn't you?" it asked suddenly.
"How can you say that?!" I retorted, my head shooting up to where I thought the voice had come from.
There was no one in the room, I found myself staring at the other side of the room. All I could see before me was the sakura blossom design of the closet door.
"My mind must've been playing tricks on me," I thought as my sank back to my knees.
"The fountains of blood, the crashing of bone and sinew, you enjoyed it all, you practically bathed in it," the voice taunted again.
"Who are you?!" I yelled, springing to my feet in an instant. "What the hell do you want from me?!"
"Mina, Mina, Mina," the voice chuckled as I reached for the sword on my belt, "you're so quick to anger."
"Che...," I spat as my fingers began to get a grip on my katana's handle.
"So easily taunted," the voice continued it teases, "you're pathetic. You're letting me take control of you."
"What do you mean?" I said, trying to cool down.
"You're losing yourself," the voice snickered again, "you're unstable."
"Unstable?" the grip on my sword began to loosen.
"You don't know what you really want," it continued, "you don't know what you want in life. Is it fame you wish for? Is it to be feared? Or is it him?"
"I don't understand what you're saying," I yelled once more, hitting my fist against the wall as I did so.
"You went after Saito a few weeks ago," the voice suddenly became calm, "why did you do that? Did you want to make a name for yourself just as Kenshin did?"
"I don't know...," I answered, my face turning to the floor again.
"When you fought those Bakufu dogs just now, you slew every one of them with no mercy, showing off the power of your sword by massacring the enemy relentlessly. You wanted everyone to fear you. Is that what you want?"
"I don't know...," my knees suddenly gave away, sending my body to the floor.
"Or do you fight just so you can be with him, that man who thinks of you as his sister, and to stay by his side you fight by him. Is that what you want?" the voice asked once more.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed, wrapping my hands behind my head.
"One such as yourself isn't suited for the sword," the voice laughed, "I bet you don't even know why you took it up."
"Just...SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, flinging my blade to the other side of the room.
"Mina, what's the matter?!" Kenshin suddenly burst into the room, coming to my aid.
"Voices...," I answered, my eyes turning away from his. "Can't you hear them?"
He looked at me oddly, a blank expression on his face. He turned his head from side to side for a few seconds and then looked back at me with that blank expression still there.
"I don't hear or see anybody," Kenshin answered.
"Am I really unstable?" I asked myself as I tried to recollect my breath. "Am I really not made for the sword?"
"Give up while you're ahead," the voice suddenly whispered, "the life of a warrior will only bring you sadness."
"Che!" I banged my fist on the tatami as I rose to my feet.
"Mina, are you...?" Kenshin asked as I dragged myself out of the room.
"It's...just been a long night," I answered, "I...must've fallen asleep and had a nightmare of some sort."
"Oh, okay, enjoy your bath," Kenshin said with a wave of his hand.
The piping hot water in the tub was hot enough to warm my skin, yet cold enough to cool my head. That voice I heard back there, what was it exactly? I still haven't even figured out what it was in the present, but I'm afraid that wasn't the last time I heard it.
"Mina, you idiot," I scolded myself, "you're just imagining things. Losing control of your own body, where the hell did you get that idea? You did it all, and don't think of an excuse to get yourself out of this."
"I really did all of that," I thought as I got my right hand out of the bath, "these hands really did spill all that blood..." I looked at the fair complexion of my skin, now washed away from the ruby red liquid I had bathed in before. "All this killing must be getting to my conscience," I sighed as I slipped my hand back into the bath.
"Is everything all right in there?" I heard Kenshin's voice as he knocked on the other side of the door.
"Hai," I answered, sinking even deeper in the pool, "hey Kenshin, why don't you join me?"
"ORO?!" was the only word I heard before a large thud crashed from outside, causing the tub to rumble a bit. "Gomen, Mina, but I... uh... I think I'll go to sleep now, that I will," I heard Kenshin as a collection of footsteps running followed after his voice.
"Oh well," I sighed, a smile now perched on my face as my foot dangled on the other side of the pool.
"A reputation," Shion's voice suddenly echoed in my head, "I don't see how you could get when there's not much to look at, you're as flat as a board!"
Just when I had finally relaxed, those words just had to pop back into my head.
"What was her problem?" I grumbled, my body sinking deeper into the tub that my lips were in sync with the water's surface. "I'm not that flat, am I?" I asked myself.
God it was such a horrible night, first that stupid voice and then Shion's taunts came back into mind. By the time my bath was done, I was still rather angry, Shion's taunts continued to echo through my head as I washed. Maybe I did think she was right about my body, and maybe I was kind of angry about it. It's definitely not my fault for being this way, besides, I was fourteen then, of course I wouldn't be 'developed' like her, she was two years older than me. Now why am I talking about this?
Getting back to my story, when I returned to the inn, all the lights were out and it was quiet. All the men had gone to sleep, but I'm pretty sure Kenshin was still wide awake after my invitation. I hadn't eaten much all day so I decided to head to the kitchen to pick up some leftovers. Not a speck of light in the room, but I was still able to tell where everything was. I grabbed a leftover bowl of rice and fish, as well as a pair of chopsticks, bringing it to the dining room after. As soon as I reached the dining room, I noticed I wasn't alone, there was someone else in there, he was sitting in the corner, his silhouette was barely visible in the shadows. I slowly approached the individual, he didn't seem to mind as he continued to eat his meal quietly. Once I stood in front of him, I instantly knew who he was, it was that guy from earlier, with the fire sword.
"You want something?" he asked as he took a sip of his drink.
"Oh, I, uh...," I found myself stuttering, probably still afraid of the individual.
"No wait, I heard about you," the man said as he rose from his seat, "Hitokiri Battousai right? My predecessor. I heard about your feminine appearance, but I didn't think you were an actual woman."
"No, you got it all wrong," I answered with the shake of my head, "I'm his sister, Himura Mina."
"Oh, the new guy, or should I say girl," the man sank back to his seat, continuing his meal, "Have a seat," the man patted the seat next to his.
"Arigatou," I sat, placing my meal on the table before me. "Um, excuse me, sir, who are you exactly?" I asked, my eyes fixed on my food as I spoke.
"I'm the guy who does your dirty work," the man answered rather rudely, "the hitokiri for the Cho Shu Clan, Shishio Makoto."
"I see, Shishio-dono," I had blurted out the honorific phrase of my brother.
"What exactly are you doing here," he asked, still acting rather rude, "the battlefield isn't made for delicate flowers like yourself, so go home."
"I'm not a delicate flower," I began to raise my voice, "I'm a samurai just like all of you!"
"Are you really?" Shishio asked with a sip of his tea. "There's a hint of uncertainty in your voice. I think you're more suited in serving your family than the Ishin Shishi, you don't look like you're made for the sword."
"What makes you say that?!" I spat, rising from my seat.
"For one, the uncertainty in your voice," Shishio began his series of answers, "don't get me wrong, but I'm guessing you joined just so you can be with someone, like your brother perhaps."
"Damn, he's right about the Kenshin thing," I thought as I bit my lower lip.
"Two, you don't seem to know what you want in life, I can see it your eyes," Shishio continued.
"I bet he's the one who made that voice," I said in my head, still listening to Shishio's answer.
"And three, your body isn't built for the sword," Shishio finished.
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at my body from head to toe.
"You're too scrawny, no real muscle," he said, taking a hold of my right arm.
"My brother's built like me and he's the top soldier for the Ishin Shishi!" I yanked my arm back. "I am a samurai warrior, just like all of you, it doesn't matter how I'm built or why I joined."
"Really? Then prove it!" he said, taking up a sword resting against the wall.
"You want to fight me?" I asked, quickly taking up my own blade.
"No, it'd be a waste to kill a little girl like you. Come with me and let's see if you really are built for the sword," he said, a grin stretching across his face as he spoke.
"I'm not going with you," I said, turning my back on the man.
"Then my theory is right," Shishio said, turning the opposite way as me, "you're afraid and you don't want me to prove your weakness."
"That's not it!" I answered, quickly turning to face his back.
"Is it because you think I'm going to rape you or something?" he asked. "Don't worry, I don't find you attractive so I wouldn't even think about that for a second."
"You're such a smart ass...," I insulted him in my head as I my fingers balled into a fist.
"All right, I'll prove to you that I'm a warrior, I'll go with you!" I blurted out suddenly. "Oh man, now I've done it," I kicked myself after saying those words.
"All right, then let's go," Shishio said, leading the way out of the inn. "But before that, you should take this," a ball of white linen suddenly fell into my hands.
"Bandages, what for, I'm not injured," I said as I unraveled the material.
"Your brother never told you, did he?" Shishio sighed. "You wrap around your bust to prevent injury, or in your case, where your bust's supposed to be."
"Goddammit, why does everyone think I'm flat?!" I just wanted to scream but the words never came.
"Well what about Shion, she doesn't wear them," I found myself bringing up the name of that stupid bitch who began this trend.
"Shion, oh, the chick with the rack who works for the Satsuma Clan," Shishio knew who I spoke of, "in her case, she can't wear them. Her tits are so big that if she were to bind them, she'd have breathing problems."
"I don't know," I thought, "Saito might've solved that problem when he cut her a few nights ago."
"Look, we can have this idle chatter anytime, but right now is the only time have the patience to see this so called 'samurai spirit' of your's, so let's get a move on!" Shishio suddenly darted out the door.
"What a prick!" I spat after the vulgar man left.
It was still cold out once we left the inn, the streets were as barren as ever. The sky had become brighter, yet the air was still musty. The ground was no longer layered with ice, but water, maybe because Shishio's steps had somehow melted it. Water trickled against my toes with each step I made, the water had somehow seeped into my socks and shoes. Shishio was silent during our walk, he never stopped to say a word, he just continued on as if he were walking alone. We stopped at a corner though, Shishio had pressed his back against the splintered wall and ordered me to do the same with a motion of his hand. I followed that order, my body slid against the rough oak with some of the rough surface poking my back as it did so. Something was going on, I knew it.
"Five Mibu dogs," Shishio said under his breath as he stuck his head out of the corner. "Here's your chance," he said with his head turning back to face me, "prove to me you are a samurai, go!"
"Go what?" I asked, confused by the order he had given me.
"Kill them!" he spoke as loud as he could without alerting the enemy.
"But those weren't Katsura-dono's orders, that they weren't!" I refused with two of Kenshin's mottos in one sentence. "Besides, why should I kill those men, what have they done?"
"You truly are just a woman," Shishio said with his back turning toward me, "go back home and prepare your brother's breakfast!"
"I'm not a woman!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I am a samurai!"
"What was that?" one of the Wolves must've heard my scream.
"I...am a representative of the heavens' wrath!" I screamed as I jumped out of the corner.
My fingers quickly wrapped around the hilt of my blade, the steel quickly kissing air in the instant it slid from it's wooden case. My feet began to push against the ground, pushing it so hard that the stars were now within my grasp, but then the earth quickly began to push my back, my body being sucked back to it's surface. I swung my blade downward as I prepared to meet the ground, the steel slab cleaving away at the Wolf's shoulder, grinding his bone as it did so. The geyser that erupted was followed by a whimper, which quickly died with a push of my sword toward his throat. More ruby liquid sprayed, but I didn't seem to mind. I turned to my side to find three more Wolves, their fangs bared as their blades led their way. I remained in place, the tip of my katana slitting the planet, and with the raise of my arm, it's solid blood sprayed outward in their directions, impaling each of them against the earth's skin. I turned to the remaining, huddled against the floor, trying to crawl up the invisible ladder on the wall next to him. His mouth was being drawn to the floor as his eyes began to melt into liquid, I just took my time, step by step, not an expression on my face, I just knew the man had to die. Before he died, I showed him the light, the pale glow of the moon reflected off the shimmering blade in my hand, showing him the grimace on his face as he died. It was done, and I stood there in the masses without a frown nor smile on my face. My eyes were locked to the ground, locked at the rivers of crimson that I had befallen on the earth. I was expressionless, and yet, there was something that wanted to escape my eyes, tears perhaps, but there's no way I would let them fall.
"My impression of you was wrong," Shishio interrupted my moment of glory with an applause, "you truly are a samurai."
"Hai, I guess I am," my eyes left the rivers, turning back to the man.
"You two," a voice suddenly interrupted our conversation, "what are you doing here?"
I turned to the man, it was one I had never seen before. He was an odd one, he wore the colors of neither Ishin Shishi nor the Bakufu. I couldn't tell the color he wore because of the pale glow of the moon, but I'm guessing it was green. His hair was as black as the night, it blended in perfectly, his katana was laced with scratches and dents, I'm sure it had met many blades and taken even more lives, and his smell, so much blood, it would easily suffocate the average man.
"Who are you?" I asked the man, my sword still pointed at the ground but ready to strike.
"My name is Usui," the man answered, "I work for the Bakufu, and now that you know who I am, I must kill you!" he said as pointed his sword upward, both hands grasping the hilt.
"You, stay back," Shishio ordered with the pull of his katana.
"No, he's mine!" I said with the shake of my head.
"Know you're limits," Shishio advised, "besides, I think my Kotetsu is thirsty since your blade sucked out the life out of those five."
I looked back to the man and observed him for a moment, reading his ki as I did so. It was gruesome, this man had no pity for those he had killed, not a feeling of holding back. He enjoyed the color and smell of blood, and also the taste. He was probably sicker than Jin'eh, no, he was, and stronger as well. There was no way I could have defeated such a man, so I took Shishio's advice and stood down.
"Usui, huh," Shishio asked as his blade dragged against the ground, "you will be another victim of my Homuradama!"
I took a step back, my katana slipping back into it's ruby red sheath as I did so. Usui started first, a step forward followed with a push of his sword with both hands. Shishio easily saw this, stepping to the side as he did so. Shishio's sword took the opposite way though, gliding through the air toward Usui's face. The scarred blade of Usui met it though, engraving another mark on it's dull surface. What I had seen next was an amazing feat, pulling his sword toward him, a spark grew from their swords, and suddenly, Shishio's blade was now engulfed in flames. Usui was surprised by the sight, paralyzed with shock as he watched the flames dance before him. Shishio took advantage of this, slicing upward in a diagonal fashion as he did so. Usui brought his scarred sword upward once more, and with one more meeting, the dulled blade shattered in two, both halves caught on fire. The burning Kotetsu struck the left eye of Usui, practically melting the sphere form of his eyes as white ooze poured out of it's socket, but in a second later, the right eye followed the same fate, caught in the same angle of Shishio's attack.
"Argh!" the now blind Usui screamed, the white ooze that were once his eyes now seeping into the cracks of the street.
"We're finished here," Shishio said with a sigh, walking right passed me as I continued to observe the man's pain.
"Such savagery...," I said as I slowly crept away from the sight, my hand never leaving my heart as I walked away.
We returned to the inn shortly, no more stops. I was still traumatized at what I had just witnessed, my heart was practically trying to jump out of my chest. My eyes were frozen and unblinking, that gruesome sight would forever be stuck in my memory.
"You really were built for the sword," Shishio said as he opened the door to the inn, "no woman that I've ever met would've killed a man so gruesomely. I guess I'll see you some other time then," Shishio said with a wave as he began walking into the inn.
"Wait!" I stopped Shishio by grabbing his shoulder.
"What is it?" Shishio asked with his back still turned.
"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked. "Doesn't your conscience ever tell you what you're doing is wrong? Don't you have any guilt for the people you kill?"
"Killing is one of things that gets easier the more you do it," Shishio responded, "and since I've done it so often, this thing you call a conscience no longer exists in my mind, so I feel nothing for the people I kill. I thought you were samurai, I guess I was wrong," Shishio began to take another step forward.
"So you're saying I'm not a warrior?!" I yelled as he continued to his room.
"You are a warrior," he answered, "but of a different breed. You can kill others without hesitation, yet you still feel pity for them in the end. I can tell you've killed many, more than the average soldier in your short time here, yet your conscience is as strong as ever. A warrior such as yourself is a dying breed in this world, and I envy that..."
With those words, Shishio had disappeared into the shadows of the inn, it would be a while before I would meet him again, his words staying with me afterward, engraved into my mind. I am a warrior, but of a different breed, it didn't make sense to me back then, but now, in the present, I think I understand what he meant...
Chapter 12 Liner Notes
The battle between Shishio and Usui- They never really explained how Shishio fought Usui in the Rurouni Kenshin series, so I decided to explain the fight in my story. Shishio had somehow blinded Usui in the Rurouni Kenshin series, and so, my take on it was that Shishio slashed Usui in the eyes with his Homuradama, melting his eyes in the process.
(Next time: "Throughout my stay here, I have touched the lives of many with my sword, running from the creature that continues to chase me as I do so. I think it is time to take a break, to live amongst the lives I have saved for a short while, touching their lives not with my sword, but my heart. Even as I enjoy this vacation, I know that creature is behind me, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike..." -Himura Mina)
Author's Note: Well, how was it? Too violent, or can you take it? Anyway, why don't you drop me a review, I'll only accept flames about the violence, that's all. Yeah, I know the violence is kinda overwhelming, but no I am not insane nor am I sick individual. Emiri-chan, I must thank you again for reviewing nearly every chapter, I hope you still enjoy this fic regardless of the violent path it's beginning to take.