Author's Note: I don't know what to say to you readers except this, this book is turning out longer than expected so maybe it'll be finished after more than ten updates, maybe about fifteen. Well, there's no action in this one, just character development, but it's still required reading if you want to understand the story. Well, let's get to the story now.



Chapter 23: Don't You Love Me?



The bath was very warm despite the cold weather outside the bathhouse. Steam had enclosed the entire house in white clouds, it was very soothing. Only Shion and I were occupying the tub at the moment, the of us had not said a word to each other since we got in, we were too immersed in the hot spring-like pool.

"You love him, don't you?" Shion suddenly blurted a few minutes into our bath.

"Whom do you speak of?" I asked puzzled.

"Your brother, or course," Shion answered as she pushed her back away from the wall.

"...hai, I do," I nodded, my eyes beginning to linger into the clear pool below us.

"I know it's none of my business, but why your own brother, that's just...," I held up my finger before her lips before she can say another word.

"We're not blood-related if that's what you're thinking," I told her, "he adopted me a year ago."

"Oh, then it's okay then," Shion said as she plopped back into the pool.

"I've been in love with him ever since we met three years ago," I reminisced, "it was fate when we met. A simple farmer's daughter and a samurai, I thought that only couples such as those could only occur in novels, but alas..."

"This is a side of you I've never seen, Mina," Shion interrupted me, "but let me correct you on your little silique, your brother is not a samurai."

"I know, but still...," I couldn't help but sigh as my thoughts of my brother continued to linger back to my head.

It was rather silly of me to act the way I did in there, but to tell you the truth, whenever Shinta wasn't around, I would always fantasize about him. Whether it was in our room, out in town, or even in the bath, I would think about the two of us. I would think about the day we met, the times we spent together, and the lives we could share together in the future, as well as other things I don't want to share with. No you perverts, I would never act out those scenes with myself or anything!

"Is he aware of how you truly feel?" Shion asked seconds later.

"I don't think so," I answered.

"Then why don't you tell him?" Shion asked.

"I...I can't," I answered. "Whenever I try to tell him how I truly feel, something else comes out of my mouth or my heart would try to leap out of my chest and prevent me from telling him."

"But do you know if he loves you in that way?" Shion continued her questions.

"This is like a police interrogation," I groaned, "but I'm not sure to be honest. He holds my hand when we go out sometimes, he lets me rest on his shoulder, we cuddle when we sleep sometimes, and he kisses me good night sometimes. I know that siblings do that with each other if they care for one another, but I'm not sure what kind of love is behind it when Shinta does it."

"Shinta?" Shion looks at me puzzled.

"Oh, I mean Kenshin, I'm sorry," I quickly covered up my last sentence.

I forgot at that moment, Shinta didn't want me to call me him by his real name when others were around, it was supposed to be our little secret. Our little secret, I can't exactly call it that anymore today. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself, I'm sorry, it's just that this incident is very hard for me to tell because of what happens later.

"I think I know how you can get him to express your true feelings for him," a smirk suddenly stretched across Shion's face.

"Are you implying that I seduce him because I have no intention of doing so!" I yelled at Shion, disgusted.

"Of course not!" Shion gagged. "That would be the last piece of advice I could give you! It's rather simple, just ask him to accompany you to town. Lead him to a secluded area and watch the stars with him. The stars are always the key to unlocking the true feelings of another, that's how Keisuke was able to admit his feelings for me..."

"It was?" I asked, interested in her tale.

"Hai," she answered, her smile slowly melting, "we were twelve at the time. It was a cold winter evening just like this one, I was ready to go to sleep but Keisuke suddenly called me from outside, he said he wanted to talk. Of course, I went outside so we could talk and the two of us went on a little walk. He lead me to a small cliff near the city limits, there was nobody there, the entire area was empty. We looked at the stars for hours, admiring each of those bright dots. We must've looked at every one of those lights at least twice that night. When I was beginning to succumb to slumber, I decided to call it a night. As I began to leave, Keisuke stopped me and admitted his love for me at that moment. It was one of the happiest moments of my life because for the longest time, I too, had secretly harbored feelings for him. I still have those feelings, you'd think that after all these years I...," her voice began to break as clear rivers began to flow down her cheeks.

"Gomen, I didn't mean to bring it up," I apologized.

"No, it's all right," she sniffed as her fingers wiped away the translucent fluid, "anyway, we should get you ready for your little date."

We got out of the tub shortly after our conversation. The first thing I needed were some decent clothes. I sure as hell couldn't use the kimono I wore today, that thing was totally drenched in blood thanks to Kensai's doing and it was charred here and there. Luckily the inn gave it's customers free kimonos, we decided to take advantage of this deal. Shion picked out for me a nice white kimono with a violet belt and lining, as well as a long blue scarf that came with it. It fit perfectly on me, and it was just as comfortable too. The next thing we had to do was fix my hair.

"What's wrong with my hair?" I asked after putting on my new outfit.

"It's giving you the impression of a little girl, that's what," Shion answered, "here, why don't we just take this ribbon off and..." Shion's hand began to inch for the dark lavender material.

"No!" I quickly turned away so her fingers before her fingers could grasp it.

"What's wrong, it's just a..." Shion tried to reach for it again.

"Don't touch it!" I ordered her.

She was unaware at the time that the ribbon was the barrier between Kensai and I. There was no way I could let Shion free her at the moment, especially with the location we were in, I knew what sick fantasies Kensai had in mind for my friend.

"Okay then...," Shion looked at me oddly after my reaction.

"Can't we just set it down?" I asked Shion, not wanting to remove the silk that kept Kensai in check.

"We can do that," Shion said, pulling my hair down so that it was resting on my lower back, but with the ribbon now binding my hair at my neck's level. "We might also want to do this," Shion said as she freed some of my hair from my ribbon so that it covered my ears. "Perfect," Shion smiled after, "you're all set."

"Arigatou," I nodded after.

"Good luck to you," Shion said as I made my way back to our room.

The idea seemed like a very good one, this was one of those few occasions during the Revolution in which I could act as a woman. Before I knew it, I was standing outside the doorway, my heart already trying to jump out of chest. I placed my hand over it for a second only to feel something around that area. I reached into that part of my kimono to find a small bottle with some kind of perfume inside it.

"White plum," I recognized the scent after popping it's cork.

I thought this would help flesh out my appearance more, so I decided to apply some. I poured some of the liquid into my palm, patting the substance against my neck in the next second. The fragrance tamed my nerves for the moment, allowing me take hold of the door and slide it to the side. I glanced around the room until my eyes spotted my brother in the corner, his eyes focusing on the wall in the opposite corner.

"Shinta," I called to him.

"Oro?" he turned to me.

I never seen his widen so much when he saw me at that moment. Those lavender pupils were left unshielded as he stared, his jaw practically touching the floor as his eyes trailed up and down, admiring my figure. I know for a fact he was admiring it, even when I was living that moment, I could tell from the look in his eyes.

"Can you escort me into town, Shinta?" I asked him.

"H...hai," Shinta stuttered.

Unfortunately all the shops and everything were closed at the time, we didn't really have anywhere to go. The two of us just went for a walk instead, the lack of the moon didn't ruin the mood though. At the very moment we stepped out the door, Shinta took a hold of my hand, clasping it tightly in his own. It was one of the fewest times he had ever taken my hand first, it was usually me that would take a hold of his first. I looked into his eyes the moment he touched my hand, a smile was stretched across his face, this one different from the one he usually wore. I don't know how to describe it, his smile looked the same as it always did, but there was just something behind it that made it feel different, a feeling of warmth and security. The two of us treaded down the roads of the village, not saying a word, the two of us just smiling at each other as we walked. We eventually came to one of the lake's many shores, stopping before the area where the icy water had met the barren shore. The stars, they were as bright as ever that evening, even without the moon's pale glow. Each of those lights seemed to have doubled thanks to the reflection of the translucent pool just before our feet, the entire evening was within the grasp of the stars.

"They're beautiful," Shinta suddenly broke the silence, his eyes fixated on the sparkles in the sky.

"They are," I turned to my brother for a second before I turned my attention back to the sky.

If I had stared at that sky for a second longer, I'm sure I would've gone blind, but that didn't happen, instead, my eyes suddenly fell forward when another body began pressing against my own. His arms were tightly wrapped above my chest, his breath breezing before my ear, and his cheek nuzzled against my own. The words that escaped his lips after would forever change my life.

"They're not as beautiful as you though," Shinta whispered.

"Is this a dream?" I asked myself, losing the barrier between reality and fantasy for a moment.

"Is it?" his lips suddenly pressed against my neck, suckling against my skin for a few tender seconds. "If it is, I don't want to wake up."

'It's not a dream,' I thought to myself as the kisses continued trailing down my neck, 'it's definitely real!'

"Shinta...," his name barely escaped my lips as his mouth met with my collar.

"Do you love me?" he asked with the breath he took after that kiss.

"Hai," I answered, my eyes turning to his, "Shinta, for the longest time I..."

His lips suddenly sucked in my words as they suddenly locked with my own. His mouth began fighting with my own, nibbling against the other's tender skin, our tongues wrestling one another as they struggled to suckle the honey taste that rested before our throats. I began to pull my mouth back for a moment, only to have it drawn back in as Shinta's tongue had lassoed it with my own. His hands began to drift to my hip, his palms lay flat against them as my fingers took hold of his shoulders. It was heaven, how I wished that moment could never end, I wish I can relive that moment.

"Mina!" Shinta suddenly pulled his lips away from mine.

"Shinta?" I was left puzzled by his sudden withdrawal.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," he suddenly apologized.

He seemed frantic at the time, very shocked. That expression on Shinta's face, it was one I don't think I have ever seen before that moment. It was regret. I asked myself why he had regretted our kiss, our only embrace, was it because I wasn't beautiful in his eyes, or was it something else?

"Sorry, for what?" I asked, trying to act as if I didn't see the regret in his eyes.

"That outfit and that fragrance," Shinta began to explain, "they're the same as Tomoe's."

Tomoe, just the sound of that dead woman's name shattered my heart. Tomoe, how I hate the one who had loved my brother before I. No, it's not fair to hate her, she had been in the picture long before me.

"I'm sorry, Mina," Shinta apologized again, "it will never happen again."

"Yeah...," I remained frozen, trying to recollected the broken pieces of my heart, "it won't..."

My brother didn't say a word after that, with much haste he began treading back to the inn. I remained in the glimmer of the stars, the fragments of my heart now scattered, broken. Tears began to fill my eyes, whimpers took hold of my voice. My lips had begun to stutter, yet no words had escaped them, and my soul, it felt as if it had been torn from my being. I was standing before the stars and heavens, my eyes burning, my mouth dry, and my heart broken. No, I was no longer standing after he left, my legs felt as broken as my heart, my knees barely supporting me as the remains of my soul slipped from my cries and tears. I was broken, and I have been for the longest time... Shinta, how could you say that, how could say you love me? You stole my heart and shattered it with your lips, that one word had destroyed everything. Tomoe... Shinta, how could you? How could you...? Excuse me for a minute, but I think I have something in my eye...

Chapter 23 Liner Notes



(I don't think I have anything to explain here...)



(Next time: "My eyes are burning, my mouth is dry, my voice whimpers, and my heart is shattered. The string has unwound, the two of us are now pulled even further from each other, and with that, pulling my reason to live away..." -Himura Mina)



Author's Note: Pretty sad huh? Well, why not take some of that sadness off your chest by leaving me a review, and as usual, no flames. It was rather difficult for me write this chapter, I'm not good at this drama stuff, but I hope the end result was good. I don't have much else to say, just watch out for the next update, it will be the last time we see Kenshin ever again in this book.