Author's Note: All right guys, this is the most important chapter for 'Crimson String' Book I. The events that transpire in this chapter will develop the plot for the other two books. Care to find out what happens, then by all means, read on and find out...
Chapter 24: The String is Taut
It had been about a week after Shinta's lips had met with mine, a week since he last spoke with me. Shinta never opened his mouth when I was around anymore. We still shared the same room, yet with all the silence, it felt as if our family was torn apart, as if I was living with a stranger. During the day, Shinta and I would normally train together and speak with one another, but not anymore. At every opportunity I would try and speak with him, he would simply turn his attention elsewhere. Even at night, he no longer wished me good night or kissed my cheek, he would simply lay in his futon until he fell asleep. That week was a living hell from me, I could feel our red string slowly unwind with every second that passed, we were probably worlds apart by the end of the week. Finally, after nine days of silence, he spoke with me once more. The day was January 3, Western year 1867, this day was perhaps the most dreadful day I would ever live through...
I was returning to my room after another session of training. With Shinta no longer training with me, I usually sparred with the other soldiers, though they were never as skilled as Shinta or me. About halfway through the hall to my room, a tight grip suddenly fell upon my shoulder. I stood frozen for a second after that touch got a hold of me, normally I would retaliate, but something in the back of my mind told me not to. My head slowly veered it's way behind me as the rest of my body followed it's turn. To my surprise, it was Shinta, and for what seemed like the longest time, he was finally wearing his usual smile.
"Hello Mina," Kenshin greeted me, acting as if what happened at Otsu never happened.
"Shinta," I nodded, turning back to my room in the next second.
"Um, Mina, there's something I would like to talk with you about...," Shinta's words suddenly stopped me in place.
"Make it quick," I ordered.
I had little patience after what he had done to me that evening, my blood would sometimes boil if I saw him during that week. Still, there was always a part of my heart that wanted to speak with him, to have things go back to the way they were before.
"About that night a week ago...," I could tell he was still not comfortable bringing up the subject, his eyes were averted to the floor as his hand scratched the back of his neck.
"Go on," I turned back to face him.
"I'm sorry for thinking that you were Tomoe," he apologized.
"Is that all you wanted to say?" I quickly whipped my entire body back around.
"Mina, what I'd like to ask you is...," his voice began to break, "is..."
"Look, I have no time for this," I groaned as I began to make my way back to my room.
"What I want to ask you is if you'll accompany me to dinner tonight?" the words quickly escaped his lips, locking my knees in place in the process.
'Did I hear that right?' I thought to myself. 'Did Shinta just ask me out to dinner? Baka, he just wants to go out as brother and sister, that's all. That's all he ever wanted in this relationship, a sister, and nothing more.'
"And what if I refuse?" I asked, my back still facing him.
"Please," Shinta practically begged, "I'm asking you to join me, not as my sister, but as something else..."
"Something else?" I paused for a second. "Oh, I see, you just want to go out as friends, is that it?!" I spat.
"No, it's just that...," Shinta began scratching his neck once more, "I want you to join me for dinner, not as my friend and not as my sister, but as something more."
Something more, there was nothing else that came into my mind when he said those words. Nothing that would degrade me anymore, at least. It didn't take me long to realize this, but Shinta just asked me out on a date. A real date I must add. My brother must've finally realized the feelings I really had for him at that moment, and for the longest time in what seemed like an eternity, I was happy.
"Just what do you have in mind?" I asked, pretending not to sound interested.
"I was thinking we could go eat dinner, watch the stars, and maybe go out for a walk," Shinta answered, "just the two of us."
"Oh really?" I began to make my way back to my room.
My body began to pull back as my legs moved forward, my fingers seemed to have been drawn by another. I turned back to my hand, to find Shinta's fingers wrapped around my own. His touch was so soft yet firm, it was so warm that my heart had began beating as fast as a windmill turning during a storm. My face suddenly began to burn, I could see the different shades of red and pink in my cheeks as I turned to his luscious lavender eyes. With a pull of his arm, I suddenly found my body clinging to his own, my left hand clinging to his shoulder as my right behind his back.
"Really," the word barely escaped his lips.
"Shinta...," I found my lips suddenly drifting toward his.
'This can't be a dream,' I thought to myself as I began to make my way toward the smooth skin, 'this can't be another mistake. Kenshin is going to kiss me, ME, not Kensai, and not Tomoe, but the real me. Oh Shinta...,' my eyes began to shut just as our lips were about to meet.
I could feel his breath already pressing against my face, growing thinner and thinner with every inch our faces drew in together. Our mouths had suddenly halted before an invisible barrier, both of us waiting for the other to make the first move. An eternity had passed before my lips dived in, only to be halted once more, not by another invisible barrier, but by the voice of another.
"Battousai, Kensai," one of the soldiers had spotted us from across the hallway, "Katsura-sama is calling all Cho Shu soldiers to the dining hall right now."
"Understood," Shinta called to the soldier.
I don't know if it's just me, but is there always something that gets in the way whenever I'm about to go somewhere with my brother? Fate must really hate me for doing things like this to me, hopefully all these things I've been going through in life will lead me somewhere in the end... Oh, I seem to be getting off subject here...
"Gomen, Mina," Shinta apologized, "but we'll continue this later after dinner, that we will."
Without another word, Shinta hurried downstairs toward the dining hall, leaving me in place with my lips still hanging and my arms still holding where his figure once stood. I was frozen yet again, my heart seemed to have stopped when his form dwindled from my arms. I could still smell the aroma that had surrounded his lips, the taste of his tongue was within my grasp for a second, yet I did not have enough time to get a helping of the sweet nectar. How I wished our lips could've been one just once more, I still wish it to this day, just one more kiss, that's all I want. Is it such a selfish request, a pluck from my brother's lips against my own, is it really that difficult for Fate to grant me such a thing?! Here I go again, getting off subject...
"Shinta...," his name barely slipped through my lips.
I followed my brother to the dining hall soon after, it was once again cluttered with the masses of the Cho Shu Clan. There was hardly any room left for me to sit, I found my shoulders pushing inward as I was smashed between two fellow soldiers, it was not a very comfortable position. I couldn't spot Kenshin anywhere within the room, the entire area was too stuffed with our soldiers, the only face I could make out from all of our men was Katsura's.
"Is everyone here now?" he asked as the soldiers began to settle down. "Okay then, let us get to the heart of the matter. First of all, I'd like to congratulate the Himura siblings on destroying the Western weaponry nine days ago. Arigatou, Kenshin-kun, Mina-kun," he applauded, following with the clapping of the rest of the hall. "Now for the real reason I have summoned you all today. Apparently our spies have learned that the weaponry stationed in Otsu was merely a diversion, that was only a small fraction of the enemy's new arms."
"Nani?!" the word suddenly sprang up in the hall at the same moment, followed by the panics of some of the men.
"Silence, all of you!" Katsura ordered everyone using the top of his lungs. "Just because the enemy has Western technology doesn't mean it's the end for our clan. It appears the majority of the shipment is still in Edo, the supply of weapons is slowly being brought into Kyoto, five cannons a day, along with twenty rifles. The first delivery of these weapons begins today, the entire Cho Shu Clan will participate in this mission, the Satsuma Clan will be busy taking care of our patrol tonight so I'm afraid we won't have any back up for this one. I want everyone to prepare now, we don't know when the shipment will arrive, now go!"
With the word 'go', I suddenly found myself being dragged with the crowd toward our weapons storage. I had no need to get any equipment from the storage, I always carried my daisho with me, so I left the storage area as soon as possible and headed back to my room.
"After all I've done to try and get rid of those damn things they just keep coming back," I grumbled as I slid the door to my room open.
I was angry, angry about how all the efforts I made to try and get rid of this weaponry were futile. The first time was that night before Kodomo-No-Hi, the same night I had my first encounter with Misanagi and the Sanada Ninjas. I had sunk the ship carrying those guns and cannons, burying them deep within the sea, but that didn't seem to do the trick. Then it was one week ago when I tried to prevent that technology from entering our country again, this time the weapons were burned to ash, and it still wasn't enough. Western weaponry, how I hate it, all it can do is destroy our country even more. What am I talking about, I hate every kind of weaponry! I hate anything that has to do with war, guns, swords, cannons, soldiers, everything! All I've ever gotten from fighting was pain and suffering, and I've given even more to others because of my actions. All war can bring about is destruction and death, no good can ever come out of it! Here I go again, I'm getting off subject once more... I'm sorry, let me continue with my story.
My anger quickly melted away, however, as I found my brother sitting by the balcony, tightening the guards around his wrists. He was wearing his serious expression as he strapped the leather around his arms, Shinta would always wear it if he thought a big battle was about to be fought and this would be a big battle, a battle that would make a huge impact on the war effort, and on my life.
"Oh, Mina," Shinta quickly put on his usual smile once he realized I was at the door.
"Here we go again," I sighed as I took my place at the table.
"I know," Shinta chuckled as he finished fastening his guards, "it never ends, does it, Mina?"
"God I'm so fucking tired of this," I groaned as my face fell flat against the oak surface before me, "when the hell is it all going to be over?"
"...I don't know," my brother answered.
"Say Shinta," I turned toward him with my chin still resting against the table, "what are you going to do when this is all over?"
"What am I going to do?" my brother repeated. "To tell you the truth, Mina, I want to become a rurouni."
That was the first time I've ever heard the word 'rurouni' come from my brother's mouth. Before I had met my brother, I thought a 'rurouni' was simply another vagabond who wandered aimlessly, fighting for no reason as he traveled from village to village, but when I heard Shinta say he wanted to become one, I knew there was much more to a 'rurouni' then being a simple wanderer.
"A rurouni you say?" I asked, placing my palms underneath my chin.
"Hai," he nodded, taking his place across the table from me. "I want to become a wanderer, one who helps people without the use of my sword. I want to help people with their problems, help them live through their lives, and I want people to be happy."
"But aren't you already doing so?" I asked.
"In a way, I am," Shinta answered, "but the way I'm helping people right now also comes with a price. As I use my sword to help the innocent, I also injure the innocent. I injure them by killing their brothers, their fathers, cousins, sons, their family that rests on the battlefield. I want to help people without causing them harm as a result. Do you understand, Mina? My master tried to teach me this before I left my training three years ago, but I never understood what he meant before I came here and began fighting in this war. There are times when I'm proud of what I have done, yet there are times when I am ashamed. I am ashamed by the pain of caused, of the families I've torn apart, I don't want anymore to suffer from my actions. That is the reason why I want to become a rurouni, Mina, that it is...," I noticed a crack in his voice.
This speech, it had made my brother break into tears. I could only watch as the translucent rivers ran down his face, I could only listen to the whimpers that had escaped his mouth, and I could only sulk as I found myself saddened by the points he had made.
"Shinta...," I placed my hand over his, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"It's all right, Mina," Shinta sniffed, "I wanted to share this with you. Now that you have asked me what I want to do, may I ask you the very same question?" Shinta said as the back of his hand slid across the area below his nose.
It had never occurred to me until that moment that I did not know what I had wanted to do exactly after the Revolution was over. I never really thought about the future back then, I would always think about the present, live only in the moment. The only thing I knew that I wanted at that time was one thing, and that was...
"...I want to be with you," I answered.
"Excuse me?" Shinta said, probably not hearing me the first time.
"I want to be with you, Himura Shinta," I repeated myself. "I want to wander the country with you, I want to have more good memories with you, I want to live with you, and most of all, I want to love you."
I had finally brought myself to profess the feelings in my heart through words. The weight that I carried in my heart had now been dropped, trying to break free now that the constraint of love had been broken. My face was burning once more, I tried averting my eyes from his to try and relieve the sudden tingling within my face. The fire in my cheeks only burned brighter with the touch of his fingers against my cheek. My eyes had drifted toward his again, my heart trying even harder to break free now, and my cheeks searing from the burns that my heart had created.
"I want to love you too, Mina," Shinta smiled.
"Battousai, Kensai," a soldier suddenly knocked on our door, "let's go."
"Hai," Shinta said, quickly taking up his sword.
"I want to love you too, Mina," his words continued echoing in my head.
'Does that mean he really does want to further our relationship?' I asked myself. 'Shinta, you finally realized the feelings I have for you, don't you? Oh Shinta...'
"Mina, let's go," the voice of my brother returned me to reality.
"Right," I nodded.
We had no idea when the delivery was being shipped, the only thing we knew was the path from which it was coming from. It was coming from the south side of the city, the shipment was coming from Osaka. All our troops his within the shrubbery of the fields that surrounded the path from Osaka. The plan was to box in the enemy and then attack, stealing the Western weaponry in the process. It seemed like a good plan, but little did we know, it would have no effect.
We didn't have to wait long for the delivery to arrive, we could hear from practically miles away, that we could. The creaking of the wagon that carried those rifles was very hard to miss, the squeaks the cannons were made were loud enough for a deaf man to hear. Something was wrong, I knew it in the very instant I heard the weapons. I turned to my brother who stood next to me, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he also knew something was going wrong. Before I knew it, the order to attack had filled the area, the grasses of wheat were suddenly tainted with crimson within the next second.
"Mina, let's go!" Shinta ordered a second after.
I found myself charging blindly into the battlefield, freeing my blade from it's oak constraint and plunging it's steel content into the first man that tried to cross my path. I turned to my side to find my brother engaged with several opponents, two locked with his blade and the third going in for the kill as Shinta was distracted by the other two.
"Do-Ryu-Sen!" I screamed as I struck the ground with my blade in the attacker of my brother's direction.
The sharpened rubble flew into the bodies of my brother's attackers and five more of their colleagues, impaling them to the scarlet-rich ground. I turned back to my brother once that deed was done, a smile plastered on his face to assure me of his condition. I had little time to admire that smile as we quickly found ourselves back to work. Just as I had turned around again, I found my katana locked once more with another dog of the Bakufu. I had gotten accustomed to such fights now, I simply sighed as my left hand drifted toward my sword's sheath, my fingers quickly wrapped around it and quickly brought it upward, bashing the man's skull. He drifted toward the side for a moment, his head leading the way. I had to free him of his pain, and I did so with a thrust of my sword to his heart. The man died without a sign of anguish, and didn't display any as I hurled his corpse back at his comrades with a swing of my sword.
A loud bang suddenly filled the area, one I had heard one week ago. I instantly knew what the sound came from; a rifle. I spun my head around to the source in the next instant to find two of my allies standing next to me suddenly fall before my eyes. There was not a trace of a blade's scratch or cut on their bodies, yet there were small craters on each of them, oozing with the ruby elixir of life. I quickly turned back to the source of the rifle, finding the barrel's black gaze suddenly focusing on me. Out of instinct, my legs suddenly pushed downward, launching me into the heavens as my sword began to lead my path as I plummeted back toward the earth.
"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, Ryu-Tsui-Sen!" I screamed just as my steel slab found a itself in the newly engraved slit in the man's skull.
Before I knew, our forces suddenly found themselves being overrun. I found myself suddenly huddled among the masses of the Bakufu, their kimonos tainted red as their blades. Without even having to ready my blade, I sprung forward, my lead leading my path, plunging itself into several of the masses that lay before me. The singing of steel began to echo from the south as my foot propelled the newly-made corpses off my katana, and in the very instant they were to strike my neck, the scabbard of my sword had once again saved my life.
"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, Ryu-Kan-Sen!" I screamed as I spun my sword along the path of my body.
Just as I had regained the balance I had lost from the spin of the Ryu-Kan-Sen, a splash of crimson suddenly swirled around me. When the red fluid had subsided, I found steel once again coming from all directions, there was no way I could get out of this one and I knew it.
"Shit...," I spat my teeth began to grind against each other.
"Do-Ryu-Sen!" the cry of my brother's attack screamed as blades of earth impaled half of the opposition.
The next thing I knew, a flash of red flew passed me, a slab of metal following close behind it. I turned to where the flash had gone only to find another flood of crimson spraying before me.
"Mina, are you all right?" my brother asked as he whipped away the ruby residue off his blade.
"Hai," I nodded.
Another bang had filled the area after, this one louder than the one from the rifle. A loud thud had followed seconds after, along with the screams of many soldiers. Again I had turned to the source, only this time, it was not a gun I found, it was something bigger.
"A cannon...," I turned to the large metallic barrel.
"There's too many of them!" I heard one of my fellow soldiers scream.
"Everyone, fall back!" Katsura's voice echoed throughout the entire area. "Retreat!"
Even as my allies began to make their way out of the battlefield, I had remained. My eyes were fixated on that jet black metal, spots of rust were sprinkled nearly everywhere on it. A giant gap had rested in the center of the barrel, and a large black sphere had rested inside. I was frozen, yet I did not know why, I still don't to this day.
"Mina, come on!" my brother suddenly took me by the arm, dragging me with the rest of our men.
I soon myself running by my brother's side, the screams of rifles were always followed by men. Some of our men would be launched into the air after one of the bangs, along with large clouds of dust. I tried not to look back at the carnage, I only tried looking ahead, no, I wasn't even looking, I had my eyes shut me into darkness the entire time. I was using my brother as my guide, his fingers tightly clenched against mine, tightening with each step we took as we ran. The crashes and bangs began to grow louder as we continued to make our escape, we were in their sights, I knew it. Our feet began to pick up faster, my arm felt as if it were being pulled from it's socket with the new pace we had began using. Dust and rock began to blow beneath our feet five steps later, their aim was improving, what happened next was inevitable.
"Mina!" I suddenly heard my brother cry.
The next thing I knew, the hold of my brother's hand was suddenly stripped away from my own. I could remember the burn of my fingers as our grip was suddenly pulled away. The ground had been pushed away from my feet, I could feel the air slicing against my entire body. A second later, my nose was suddenly pressed against an ironlike surface, then my entire body had been pressed up against it. The last thing I could hear before the sounds had gone deaf was the voice of my brother calling my name.
"MINA!!!!!" was the last thing I could hear.
The next thing I knew, I had found myself in a face full of mud. Liquid was constantly pressing against my back, making my front even more sore than it already was. Slowly I began to press my hands and arms forward, against the quaggy floor, fighting against the rain that had poured down upon my figure. A loud crash had followed as soon as I had returned to my feet, it was different from the ones I heard earlier. This was the sound of thunder, and a flash of lightning had followed it after. The sky was already engulfed in gray and black, I could easily tell that it was now the hour of night, even if the moon was shielded by the dark clouds.
"What happened?" I asked myself as took hold of my throbbing temple. "Where is everyone?"
I began to replay the recent events again in my head. I knew I was running, and then suddenly I found myself being lifted off the ground, the wind blowing against me until the floor had found my body. It took me a while to figure out what had happened. I had come up with this conclusion about a minute later, and that conclusion was that I was caught in the fire of one of the cannons.
"What happened to the rest of the Cho Shu Clan?" I asked myself after.
I turned to where I had last run to find the answer to my question. Mountains of corpses had flooded the land, the wheat that had once been growing in these fields was now either tainted with blood and rain, or strewn across the crimson mud. Various forms of steel lay among the masses of bodies, some slitting the earth while others resting against it.
"Am I the only survivor?" I began to wonder. "No, it can't be!" I practically screamed. "What about the others? What about Katsura? What about my brother?!" my voice began to echo throughout the field. "The inn," I said to myself, "that's it. They're all waiting for you at the inn. Just go the inn and your brother will be waiting for you," I assured myself.
Without wasting another moment, I returned to the city as fast as I could. The streets were flooded with water, I practically slipped with every step I took. The winds began to blow against me once more as I ran down the streets, trying to push me back to the land of the dead. Puddles of rain would try to sink my feet in only to collect in my tabi, adding even more weight to my body. There was no way I would allow these things to stop me, I simply fought against it with all my might. It had been about an hour later when I was just behind the corner to the inn.
"I'm almost there," I told myself, "I'm almost home. Shinta will be there, waiting for me. He'll greet me with open arms and then we'll go out to dinner as planned. Yeah that's right, we'll go to dinner just as...," I suddenly halted once I had turned the corner.
What had laid in front of me was no longer the inn, but a pile of rubble. Tile and lumber had been mounted where my home had once lay, everything was all black and broken. The aroma of charred wood was abundant in the air, I knew in an instant what had happened. My home was burned to the ground, possibly by the same Bakufu troops that we had attacked earlier. I quickly ran to the mountain of rubble, prying out whatever pieces of lumber or tile I could.
"Shinta's in here," I told myself as I pulled two pieces of debris away from the mess, "he's alive, he needs my help! I have to save him!"
I continued prying whatever I could as the rain continued to beat down on me. Despite how much my arms and body ached, I continued. Every now and then I would find household items buried within the debris. I would find pots, vases, tables, and the occasional dish or two, none of these things were in satisfactory condition. Despite the treasures of junk I had found, I could not find a single trace of my brother, nor any other person. I must've been lifting the debris for hours until my body finally collapsed. The puddles of rain and tears had cushioned my fall, but it could not cushion the pain within my heart.
"Shinta...," I cried, "could it be that you are no longer living in this world? No, it can't, I won't accept that fact!" I screamed as I banged my fist against a piece of lumber. "Shinta, please be all right, please be safe...," translucent rivers began flooding down my cheeks.
"Over here, I found one!" a voice I knew all too well echoed from afar.
Splashes had begun to make their way toward me, I made no effort to try and look at the one who had approached me. She was wearing her serious expression that day, she had left her mask of happiness at home. I remember how she placed her hand on my shoulder and that look of concern she wore on her face and in her voice.
"Mina, are you okay?" Shion asked.
I couldn't answer, the tears had filled my entire being, drowning my voice in my throat. My arms and legs were locked in place, I couldn't move, I was too afraid to move. I was afraid that my brother and the rest of the Cho Shu Clan were gone. I just wanted to die right there, but I knew that I couldn't bring myself to commit suicide.
"Mina...," Shion began to inch closer toward me.
I just had to do something now. My legs pushed me toward her, my arms flung around her, my fingers balling against the back of her kimono as my temple met with her shoulder.
"Shion!" I screamed as the tears that filled my entire being began flooding from my eyes and cries.
Chapter 24 Liner Notes
What are "tabi"?- Tabi are those socks that have a gap in the center that separate your big toe from your little toes. You see shrine priests and priestesses wearing them all the time in anime, along with samurai characters.
(Next time: "Her brother is gone, she is left alone in the world of violence. No, she is not alone, I am here with her. But... can I just be there for her as a friend and hold back the feelings I have for her, even if she is the one to act out those feelings...? -Azumi Shion)
Author's Note: Pretty sad huh? I'm sorry to say this, but this is the last chapter we'll ever see Kenshin again in this book. We'll see him again in book II, and a lot more in book III, but for now, I'm afraid he's gone. The story will take an even darker turn from here, expect to see more of Mina's vulgar language and some more violence (nothing extreme like chapters 11-16). Well, tell me what you think by leaving me a review, and as usual, I don't take flames. That's it for now, later.