Not on Your Life!
A Took's Tale
Disclaimer: The Hobbits belong to J. R.R. Tolkien and are not of my creation and I make no money from this or other stories involving them, this is purely a non-profit fiction of my creation in honor of the book & movies. However this storyline is mine.
Author Babble: Kara J: Ok on with chapter three..
Red Demon (Laying on bottom of cage) Can't take it anymore! Please just one picture!
Kara J: Picture of who?
Red Demon: Whom.
Kara J: Whom! Whom do you want a picture of?
Red Demon: Legolas. *sigh*
Kara J: Legolas! Oh you mean Pointy-Eared Bow-Twanger, Leggy Lou Lou, Lego Lassie, Long Ears.
Red Demon: (Jumps up in cage) Don't EVER Call him LONG EARS! EVER! His Name is Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood! Bow down and worship him!
Kara J: Why do you always have to bring 'Long Ears' into my stories? You're obsessed.
Red Demon: Well at least I'm not in love with short, fat, hairy-footed hobbits!
Kara J: They're not fat! And I'm not in love with them! Besides if I did, I'd make them shave their feet.
Red Demon: Legolas doesn't need to shave his feet! And He can walk on snow! I like to see you're short, fat hobbitses do that!
Kara J: You're starting to sound a lot like Gollum. Better not let you near the Ring anytime soon.
Red Demon: At least if I saw you do a Gollum impression I wouldn't shriek like a baby and try to kick you in the face!
Kara J: Shut up or I'll burn the picture.
Red Demon: If you do that and I get out you will rue the day you called him long ears because by the time I'm finished with you you're ears will be bigger then that reject Dobbie or what ever he's called from Harry POT HEAD!
Kara J: Issues!
Thanks for the reviews:
Lady Laura: We'll all have to wait and see who wins the bet. Don't worry there's more coming!
Meep: Thanks, it nice to hear that people enjoy my work. I'm trying to read at least one thing of everybody that's reviewed me. It's taking a while.
Ivory Tower: After I wrote about the Cherry Pie that was all I could think of! I haven't had a good piece of cherry pie in ages! *drool*
Storm Elf: Welcome to the Dark Ages! The pain has only just begun.
Chapter Three Of Chess and Beer
When the Hobbits finished up the pie and tea, Pimpernel and Frodo started cleaning up. Merry and Pippin went into the parlor by the fire.
"Frodo? Is it really all right for them to stay here? I know they can get annoying and Bilbo's not around to keep them in control."
"I guess so. I was looking forward to a quiet week to myself, but I think we'll be OK."
"Thank you again." Pimpernel put the last dish in the cupboard. "Well I better be off, I don't think it's raining as much as before. If you need me I'm at Rosie's. If my parents come here don't let them find Pippin and tell them where I am. I don't think they'll be too worried. Pippin and Merry have run away before."
Frodo and Pimpernel went in to the Parlor and found Merry and Pippin playing chess.
"I'm going now, Pippin. I don't want either of you out of this house. Merry, if can't handle being alcohol free you can give up at any time. There's plenty of beer at the Green Dragon."
"I think I'll be fine Pimpernel! You should be more concerned about you brother! He can't even win a chess game!"
Pimpernel muttered something underneath her breath about an idiot Brandybuck as she buttoned up her cape. Frodo walked her to the door.
"Please don't let Merry win. I don't think I can handle him putting down Pippin any more." Pimpernel whispered.
"It's getting to me as well. I'll do my best." Frodo replied closing the door behind the girl.
Frodo walked back into the parlor. "How about a drink, Pip?" Frodo winked
At the word 'drink' Merry's head went up. "What kind of drink are you talking about, Frodo?"
"Oh you know, the malted kind. Beer."
Pippin smiled. "I'd love one!"
"You can't be serious! You're on his side, Frodo?"
"I'm not on anyone's side I'm just feeling a bit thirsty." He replied.
"Why can't you have a mug of water then?!" Merry said exasperated.
"Bilbo's not around and it's the perfect time to sample some of the vintage ale." Frodo replied.
"Now Pip, would you like a pint or just a half?"
"You have full PINTS?!" Merry shouted.
"A pint please, Frodo." Pippin replied grinning. "You know Merry, you could join us?"
"Very funny! I haven't forgotten the reason we're here. I'll be fine, just go ahead and drink your pint!"
"Fine, it's your funeral." Pippin replied smugly.
Frodo went out to the kitchen and brought two pints back into the parlor. He placed one on the table in between both Merry and Pippin. Merry's eyes grew big. Pippin leaned over and picked up the mug, brought it to his nose and inhaled.
"Mmm.That my friend, is a good mug of beer!"
Merry drooled. Realizing what he was doing he turned his attention back to the chess board. Pippin looked at Merry, took a drink and placed the mug back where Frodo left it in front of Merry.
Merry looked up at the mug.
"Get that thing off the board! I thought we were playing a game here?"
"I forfeit." Pippin replied picking up the mug again. "This is great Frodo! Many thanks."
Frodo smiled. "Well there's a lot more where that came from. Feel free to have all you want."
Merry stared at Frodo. "You can't be serious! You'll let Pip drink all the beer he wants?"
"He's a guest in my home; he can have anything he wants." Frodo replied with a smirk.
"Thanks Frodo." Pippin said before guzzled down the whole thing in front of a wide-eyed Merry.
"Well I'll be! That has got to be the most I've seen you drink in my life!"
Pippin let out a massive belch.
"Yep. Well, it's all thanks to some excellent practice." Pippin replied. "I think I'll have another. Oh, don't bother getting up Frodo, I can get it."
"It's in the cellar, next to the onions." Frodo replied.
Merry rolled his eyes. He was starting to feel the need for a beer now that he wasn't occupied. *Must fight it. Can't let Pippin win!*
Pippin came back in with his mug full and sat down. Merry noticed Pippin eyes were getting heavy and looked at Frodo. Frodo appeared fine; he still had at least half a mug left and looked like he was going to take his time with it. He looked back at Pippin; half of the mug was gone.
"Well I'm getting tired boys. I think I'll turn in. Where are we sleeping Frodo?" Merry asked.
"You two can share Bilbo's room. There's the bed and I'll go get the cot." Frodo finished his mug and took it with him out in search for the extra cot.
"You want to go to bed already? But the fun just started!" Pippin eyes were glazed and he had a crooked grin on his face. Merry smiled. "Yeah, if we're stuck in this house I might as well sleep. There's nothing else to do."
"Spoilsport!" Pippin slurred.
"It's all set up Merry!" Frodo shouted from the nearby room.
Merry got up and walked out leaving Pippin with his now empty mug. A few minutes later Pippin stumbled into Bilbo's bedroom and clasped on the cot. Frodo could be heard in the next room getting ready for bed.
*Perfect!* Merry thought.
A few minutes later Merry heard Pippin snoring. Merry waited a few more minutes, snuck out of the room and headed for the cellar.
Disclaimer: The Hobbits belong to J. R.R. Tolkien and are not of my creation and I make no money from this or other stories involving them, this is purely a non-profit fiction of my creation in honor of the book & movies. However this storyline is mine.
Author Babble: Kara J: Ok on with chapter three..
Red Demon (Laying on bottom of cage) Can't take it anymore! Please just one picture!
Kara J: Picture of who?
Red Demon: Whom.
Kara J: Whom! Whom do you want a picture of?
Red Demon: Legolas. *sigh*
Kara J: Legolas! Oh you mean Pointy-Eared Bow-Twanger, Leggy Lou Lou, Lego Lassie, Long Ears.
Red Demon: (Jumps up in cage) Don't EVER Call him LONG EARS! EVER! His Name is Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood! Bow down and worship him!
Kara J: Why do you always have to bring 'Long Ears' into my stories? You're obsessed.
Red Demon: Well at least I'm not in love with short, fat, hairy-footed hobbits!
Kara J: They're not fat! And I'm not in love with them! Besides if I did, I'd make them shave their feet.
Red Demon: Legolas doesn't need to shave his feet! And He can walk on snow! I like to see you're short, fat hobbitses do that!
Kara J: You're starting to sound a lot like Gollum. Better not let you near the Ring anytime soon.
Red Demon: At least if I saw you do a Gollum impression I wouldn't shriek like a baby and try to kick you in the face!
Kara J: Shut up or I'll burn the picture.
Red Demon: If you do that and I get out you will rue the day you called him long ears because by the time I'm finished with you you're ears will be bigger then that reject Dobbie or what ever he's called from Harry POT HEAD!
Kara J: Issues!
Thanks for the reviews:
Lady Laura: We'll all have to wait and see who wins the bet. Don't worry there's more coming!
Meep: Thanks, it nice to hear that people enjoy my work. I'm trying to read at least one thing of everybody that's reviewed me. It's taking a while.
Ivory Tower: After I wrote about the Cherry Pie that was all I could think of! I haven't had a good piece of cherry pie in ages! *drool*
Storm Elf: Welcome to the Dark Ages! The pain has only just begun.
Chapter Three Of Chess and Beer
When the Hobbits finished up the pie and tea, Pimpernel and Frodo started cleaning up. Merry and Pippin went into the parlor by the fire.
"Frodo? Is it really all right for them to stay here? I know they can get annoying and Bilbo's not around to keep them in control."
"I guess so. I was looking forward to a quiet week to myself, but I think we'll be OK."
"Thank you again." Pimpernel put the last dish in the cupboard. "Well I better be off, I don't think it's raining as much as before. If you need me I'm at Rosie's. If my parents come here don't let them find Pippin and tell them where I am. I don't think they'll be too worried. Pippin and Merry have run away before."
Frodo and Pimpernel went in to the Parlor and found Merry and Pippin playing chess.
"I'm going now, Pippin. I don't want either of you out of this house. Merry, if can't handle being alcohol free you can give up at any time. There's plenty of beer at the Green Dragon."
"I think I'll be fine Pimpernel! You should be more concerned about you brother! He can't even win a chess game!"
Pimpernel muttered something underneath her breath about an idiot Brandybuck as she buttoned up her cape. Frodo walked her to the door.
"Please don't let Merry win. I don't think I can handle him putting down Pippin any more." Pimpernel whispered.
"It's getting to me as well. I'll do my best." Frodo replied closing the door behind the girl.
Frodo walked back into the parlor. "How about a drink, Pip?" Frodo winked
At the word 'drink' Merry's head went up. "What kind of drink are you talking about, Frodo?"
"Oh you know, the malted kind. Beer."
Pippin smiled. "I'd love one!"
"You can't be serious! You're on his side, Frodo?"
"I'm not on anyone's side I'm just feeling a bit thirsty." He replied.
"Why can't you have a mug of water then?!" Merry said exasperated.
"Bilbo's not around and it's the perfect time to sample some of the vintage ale." Frodo replied.
"Now Pip, would you like a pint or just a half?"
"You have full PINTS?!" Merry shouted.
"A pint please, Frodo." Pippin replied grinning. "You know Merry, you could join us?"
"Very funny! I haven't forgotten the reason we're here. I'll be fine, just go ahead and drink your pint!"
"Fine, it's your funeral." Pippin replied smugly.
Frodo went out to the kitchen and brought two pints back into the parlor. He placed one on the table in between both Merry and Pippin. Merry's eyes grew big. Pippin leaned over and picked up the mug, brought it to his nose and inhaled.
"Mmm.That my friend, is a good mug of beer!"
Merry drooled. Realizing what he was doing he turned his attention back to the chess board. Pippin looked at Merry, took a drink and placed the mug back where Frodo left it in front of Merry.
Merry looked up at the mug.
"Get that thing off the board! I thought we were playing a game here?"
"I forfeit." Pippin replied picking up the mug again. "This is great Frodo! Many thanks."
Frodo smiled. "Well there's a lot more where that came from. Feel free to have all you want."
Merry stared at Frodo. "You can't be serious! You'll let Pip drink all the beer he wants?"
"He's a guest in my home; he can have anything he wants." Frodo replied with a smirk.
"Thanks Frodo." Pippin said before guzzled down the whole thing in front of a wide-eyed Merry.
"Well I'll be! That has got to be the most I've seen you drink in my life!"
Pippin let out a massive belch.
"Yep. Well, it's all thanks to some excellent practice." Pippin replied. "I think I'll have another. Oh, don't bother getting up Frodo, I can get it."
"It's in the cellar, next to the onions." Frodo replied.
Merry rolled his eyes. He was starting to feel the need for a beer now that he wasn't occupied. *Must fight it. Can't let Pippin win!*
Pippin came back in with his mug full and sat down. Merry noticed Pippin eyes were getting heavy and looked at Frodo. Frodo appeared fine; he still had at least half a mug left and looked like he was going to take his time with it. He looked back at Pippin; half of the mug was gone.
"Well I'm getting tired boys. I think I'll turn in. Where are we sleeping Frodo?" Merry asked.
"You two can share Bilbo's room. There's the bed and I'll go get the cot." Frodo finished his mug and took it with him out in search for the extra cot.
"You want to go to bed already? But the fun just started!" Pippin eyes were glazed and he had a crooked grin on his face. Merry smiled. "Yeah, if we're stuck in this house I might as well sleep. There's nothing else to do."
"Spoilsport!" Pippin slurred.
"It's all set up Merry!" Frodo shouted from the nearby room.
Merry got up and walked out leaving Pippin with his now empty mug. A few minutes later Pippin stumbled into Bilbo's bedroom and clasped on the cot. Frodo could be heard in the next room getting ready for bed.
*Perfect!* Merry thought.
A few minutes later Merry heard Pippin snoring. Merry waited a few more minutes, snuck out of the room and headed for the cellar.