I slowly get into bed the whole time trying not to think about Claire, this is unsuccessful because I can't get her out of my head. I'm just starting to fall asleep when there's a knock at the door, I don't answer it because it's two in the morning and it's probably just a drunken person on their way home. The knock sounds again but this time it's slightly louder, I still don't get up to answer it. Eventually they go away and I fall into a deep sleep.

When I arrive at work Claire's not there but I never expected her to be, my manager comes over to me demanding to know where Claire is and what is going on between us.

What do you mean going on between us?

Tim: She stayed at your house last night.

No she didn't.

Tim: I rang Mark this morning and he said Claire didn't come home last night and that she was staying at your place.

Someone knocked at two in the morning but I didn't answer the door.

Tim: Great so no one knows where she is, this is just brilliant.

I can't stop thinking that something has happened to her and what if that was her knocking on my door last night. I sit there pulling my hair out with worry then she walks in and stops right in front of me. She looks extremely tired and upset, I just want to hold her in my arms and tell her everything will be ok but she hates me remember. Claire sits down on my lap and kisses me on the cheek, I'm completely shocked because I didn't expect her to be talking to me. Suddenly it hits me that maybe Marks told her everything, even though this is very unlikely.

Claire I…

Claire: Sshhhhhhhhhh, it's ok I understand.

Understand what exactly?

Claire: That you were just angry and took it out on Mark.

I smile even though that's a complete lie but if I told her the truth she probably wouldn't believe it as Mark has already filled her head with loads of crap make believe lies. Claire takes my hand and leads me to the dressing room, we sit down and talk things over and me not wanting to lose her again just play along with Marks lies. She gets up and looks through some clothes hanging on a rail in the corner, this is when I decide to tell her how I feel. I walk over to her and put my arms around her waist, I wait for a minute or two before I say anything. I decide it will be easier to just come straight out with it.

Claire I love you.

Claire: I love you too, why are you telling me this anyway I already know you love me. It's not as if you never tell me so is it.

I smile at her response but I know she doesn't understand what I'm saying, well maybe she does but she just doesn't want to hear it. I can't face talking about my feelings for her anymore so I try to make it sound like I meant it in a friendly way.

I guess I'm just trying to say sorry for upsetting you.

Claire: I forgive you, I love you too much to lose you. Anyway I really upset you too didn't I? I mean telling you I hated you, the minute I said it was the minute I regretted it.

I don't want to lose you either and don't worry about upsetting me, I can handle it.

Claire smiles at me and we walk hand in hand to the canteen for some breakfast. Claire doesn't eat much she just pushes the food around her plate with her fork. I am slightly worried about her but then again I worry way too much. I know something's wrong with her, I've known her so long that it just becomes obvious.

Claire what's wrong?

Claire: Nothing really.

And that's supposed to mean?

Claire: I think I'm pregnant.

Very funny Claire.

The look I get back tells me she wasn't joking and my heart sinks, I'll never get a chance to be with her or even to tell her how I feel for her now. It wouldn't be fair to reveal my true feelings to her now. Oh my God what about Mark, he might dump her when he finds out or even if he doesn't he might go back to his old ways again or I suppose it could just make him love her even more. Oh well beings I can't have her no more I just want her to be happy. A small tear falls from my eye and I feel Claire's hand on top of mine.