Split Into Two
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Anyway, this is my second CCS fanfiction. "Hello, Mirror" was my very first and the reviews that I got encouraged me to write more. (Many thanks to all that reviewed for "Hello, Mirror"!) That was basically a one-shot, but this will (hopefully) be a chapter story. Since I have more experience writing for anime characters that are unique (and Yukito's situation IS kinda unique...reminds me of Yuugi and Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh!), this story WILL be focused mainly on him. [And me being a sucker for him and Yue has NOTHING to do with it, alright?! ...*coughs*...]
Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura. That honor belongs to wonderfully talented people that are NOT me.
Chapter One
Ever since I was little, I've always wondered what it would be like to have another me. Haven't you ever wondered the same thing? Just think--all the times that you weren't picked for a team, all the times when your friends were at home, sick, and you were left all alone at school, all the times when you didn't _have_ any friends... All of these times wouldn't matter because there would always be another you that would be with you always.
Don't you think that that would be wonderful?
I finally found out that having another me is just as much a blessing as it is a curse. It's...hard, sometimes. Not many people understand what it's like. I know that the people that I'm closest to DO care and they DO try to understand...but how do they really know what it's like to be me? How do they really know what it's like to be not fully human? The truth is... They _don't_ really know.
Each one has their own special abilities. Intelligence, magic, fighting skills. But, in the end, those abilities still have a human flavoring to them. Me... Well, how can you say that having a completely and totally different person living inside of you is even _close_ to being considered normal, let _alone_ human? The truth is... You can't. I'm not normal and I'm not human.
I'm not normally this pessimistic nor am I normally this cynical. But it just gets so hard sometimes, living with the knowledge that I'm different than all the other people around me. That, deep down inside--where it counts--I'm not even considered fully human. That, no matter HOW hard I try, I will _never_ be considered fully human. Like I said before, it's both a blessing and a curse.
I'll never be lonely. But, then again, I'll always be different. I'll always be unusual and strange. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had known from the beginning that someone else was living inside of me. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad (I sometimes think to myself) if the people--my _friends_--who HAD known about this other person inside of me had told me. But they hadn't. Instead, they kept it a secret. They kept it a secret from _me._ Out of everyone else in the whole entire world, don't you think that _I_ have a right to know that someone else lives inside of me?
Don't you think that I have a right to know that I'm not fully human? Don't you think that I have a right to know that the other person inside of me ISN'T human--so does that make doubly not-human? Doubly-nonhuman?
My head is spinning.
In a way, all of these thoughts are confusing. But...there is an order to them...isn't there? Can't I just look at everything like it's a big, huge jigsaw puzzle? I _will_ eventually make sense of all of this...won't I? A little niggling feeling deep within tells me that NO, I _won't_ eventually sort all of this out. I hope that feeling is wrong.
Sometimes, while I'm at archery practice, I think. Why can't life be like an arrow? It's clean cut; and, if shot properly, it sails through the air and embeds itself in the bulls-eye. Why can't life be like that? Why can't answers be like that? Instead, why is everything all...jumbled...together?
Sometimes, I wish that this was all just a dream. An eerie, surreal dream...but a dream nonetheless. In the dream, I wouldn't mind having another me. A Yue-me. But not in real life. He's so much different than I am. How could we possibly live in harmony? We're like yin and yang. Yes, people say that yin and yang are just like two pieces of a puzzle. But they're not. They're opposites and you would _expect_ opposites to be constantly at war. Is that what's going to eventually happen with Yue-me and myself?
This is my jigsaw.