Chapter 3: Why do I wish I were a Coyote right now? Oh yeah that's why.

It was almost noon when Cordelia awoke, to a looming sense of foreboding. The feeling remind her of the say she left Sunnydale on a bus with nothing but the clothes in her suitcase and a few hundred bucks in cash with no job prospects in LA waiting for her. Scared out of her mind, with nothing but regrets.

She slowly opened her eyes as memories of last night's events came back to her, Oh My God. The world was supposed to have ended last night and she was supposed to be dead with the rest of the world. Only nothing had happened, aside from the fire falling from the sky and the death associated with the fires that that started, her left over glowy senses told her that. What else happened, she had fucked Angel's son. She could not forget that no matter how she tried.

Fucked, not sex, not making love, in her heart she knew that a hooker in West Hollywood had more integrity than her. Sex was sleeping with sexy guy from work that she could look in the eye next door and not feel ashamed for have had sweated up the sheets with him, that was ok. That would have been kind of like her relationship with Gru. Her sweet mental deficient half demon champion that he was, her first mistake, instead of running around talking about how great Gru was she should have been trying to find a out clause in Angel's Happiness Clause so that they could have been together. She should have been making love with the only manpire that she had ever really felt genuine love for, now she wished she had acted on feeling for Angel, regardless of her fear of the demon.

The reality was shed had fucked, that was the only term for what she had done last night with the 17-year-old boy, that just months ago she had treated like and loved like he was her own son. Cordelia stomach rolled at the thoughts of changing Connor's diaper and feeding him from a bottle, and putting him down to sleep between her and Angel. Her stomached cramped at the thought of the man she had told she loved last night and then rejected him for things that he had not done nor could control. Now she was cover with the scent of a foolish overgrown child, her soreness a reminder of just what she had done and with whom. Cordelia felt like she was going to be sick from the knowledge of last night events.

As she slowly tried to extract herself from Connor arms a new thought came to her. Why did she wish that she was a coyote all of a sudden, oh yah she had she had fucked her best friend and the love of her life only son last night. Or was it because she wished she could gnaw off her right arm that was trapped under Connor's body so she would not have to face up to what she had done if he looked up and saw her awake.

Finally with as much stealth as she could muster she tugged her arm from under Connor without waking him. Cordelia quickly made her way to the makeshift shower that Connor had assembled in the far Connor of the makeshift loft. One inside the limited privacy that the garish orange curtains provide for the shower room Cordelia turned on the water, and prepared herself for the cold water that was supplied by tapping into the warehouse fires sprinklers.

Cordelia climbed into the water and felt her muscles protesting her actions; she ignored the twinges of pain from her fight with the demon and the muscles that were over used from fucking Connor. As the water began to pour over her body Cordelia tried to scrub her skin as hard as she could in a vain attempt to removed any last reminders of last night stupidity.

As she showered she could not help but think that when her actions with Connor got out that thing were going to blow up, and the consequences were going to be huge. She did not even want to think about what Angel was going to do when he found out, but from past experience it was probably going to be violent and most likely involved the spilling of someone's blood. Probably hers and Connors, she just hoped that the other might understood and forgive her. Fred would side with Angel, but Gunn would understand and Lorne wouldn't take sides, Wesley, who knew what he would do these days.

She was facing the division of the only family she had ever really known because she fucked Connor, and it wasn't the act was not even remotely enjoyable. Connor knew nothing about please a girl let alone a woman; he was all motion, no technique, no tenderness or knowledge of the female form. He was either driving home the point like a drunken college professor or slobbering all over her chest a like a baby, eeeww not going there again.

Connor got off but he didn't stayed awake long enough to return the favor. Even Gru could hit the right spots occasionally and he at least tried to please her every time, Xander could at least get into the right ballpark and he was good with his hands and his lips when it came to closing the deal, when all else failed, and Xander almost as clueless back then as Connor is now. Even creepy demon surrogate daddy at least put up a front of trying to please a girl; she almost enjoyed that one night stand, except for the demony pregnancy part. Last night proved it she was the worthless slut everyone had called her behind her back in Sunnydale.

As the cold water flowed she tried to scrub away any evidence of her stupid away, she scrubbed her body with the rough cloth and abrasive soap until her skin ached and was glowing red from the irritation. She could not have any scent left of last night mistake on her body when she met with Angel or he would now at first sent what she had done. She had come to enjoy the sight of a vampire that did not need to breath taking deep breaths through his nose when he was around her, the smile that he got from smell her sent had been a silent compliment from Mr. Broody. Now she feared his ability to smell her sent, for fear that which she wants to keep secret from him would be found out. Cordelia went back to scrubbing trying to erase any linger sent or presents of last night's activities from her body.

Finally, Cordelia gave up on making the previous nights events away with soap and scrubbing and slid down the tile wall and curled up in the floor of the shower. She broke down and gave into the despair she had tried to force down with her own silent sarcasm. She cried for the things that she had thrown away, she cried for the stupidity of her thinking that Skip offer of ascending as a Power would bring anything other than suffering for her family, she cried for the life she had thrown away just hours ago when she told her sweet loving Angel that she could no longer separate him from his demon, she cried for the all the years of friendship that she had thrown away when she had fucked Connor.

She knew that once Angel found out things would never be the same, there would be no more jokes, no more Charlton Heston moviethones, no more hugs from her best friend when the world wore her down and ground up her feeling. No more overprotective growling at men who dared look at her with a hint of sexual interest when they were together in public. He would no longer make her breakfast and smile and say that he loved her newest blood concoction when in his eyes she could read disgust at the taste, then watch as he drank it all in one gulp. She knew that he would no longer do it to make her feel better. She knew that she would no longer get pleasure from know that she could not even cook for a blood sucking vampire, all the while being happy because Angel would drink something that disgusted him and put on a happy face just to please her.

There would be no more trips to the opera that ended with them possessed by ghosts and making out, there would be nothing left of the things that had made her feel accepted and loved. She now knew that she had traded all of good things in her life for a night with a hormonal teenager who was all thumbs and jackhammer action. She wanted to die, to wake up to realize that this was all a dream, the tear turned to sobbing as she thought about the wreck she had made of her life.

She wanted to blame Wes for stealing away the sweet baby that should just be about a year old, the baby that should still wearing diapers and just beginning to learn to make noises and running around on his own scaring everyone with his fearless attempt to exploring the world. But, she could not make Wesley at fault for this, Wes never held a gun to her head and told her to jump Connor bones. No she had come up the plan to make Connor feel special all by herself, what the hell had she been thinking?

If she really thought the world had been ending she should have been with Angel and the rest of her family on the roof of the Hyperion drinking Lorne's martinis and waiting for the world to end with her friends while Angel held her in his arms and sweetly kissed her lips with all the passion that she knew had been his the night of the opera.

Better yet she should have been standing beside Angel fighting the good fight trying to save the world with Gunn, Fred, Lorne, and Wesley in tow just like the good old days before Gru, and the whole ascension to a Power. Back when she knew who she was and where she was going. When she was Angel's Seer and she was with him no matter how bad the fight, but she had thrown that all away.

Instead of being with those her loved her no matter how broke, how rich, or how ditzy she could be. They were the people who loved her regardless of the fact that she could be a snarky bitch or selfish and self-centered, her true family. They were the people who have jumped through a portal to a hell dimensions to save her.

Angel was the man that loved her as a person, as a friend, and as a woman so much that he had taken on the Powers for her twice, would fight and killed anything that had ever threatened her. Look how had she returned his love and commitment. She had spent the night fucking his son while once again he went out to save the world, to try and give them a second chance to be a couple.

If anyone ever needed proof that she was still Queen C the bitch of Sunnydale, the ungrateful tramp who never remembered to stand by those people who sacrificed so much to protect her, last night was it. She had not changed, no matter what Skip and the Powers though, she was still that girl who had been willing to fuck Russell Winters for a chance at dinner and maybe help getting a job. Look at how that had turned out, Russell Winters was a vampire too, and Angel had showed up to save her life then, just like he always did.

Cordelia tears that had begun to stop, now flowed freely once again at the thought of how much Angel had meant to her life, how if he had not have been there for her she would have been Russell Winters' dinner that night. Or worse she might have woken up as a soulless skanky vampire slut and been Russell Winters vampire fuck toy for the next several centuries. But Angel had been there for her, just like he always. He saved her life when she was just some meaningless acquaintance and he gave her a job that allowed her to maintain her dignity and regular eating habits. Oh God, she had destroyed everything now it was just a matter of time until Angel and the others found out. The truth became clear to her that she would be left alone because of her thoughtless betrayal of Angel.

Her thought were interrupted by Connor's voice," Cordelia are you finished taking a shower or should I join you."

She could almost see the superior self-satisfied smirk that was on his face, a self-satisfied smirk that he had no right to wear after his pathetic performance last night.

"No Connor, I. I just needed a long shower to loosen up my muscles that I pulled last night." As soon as the words had left her mouth Cordelia regretted leaving Connor the opening to which he could respond.

Again with the uninformed undeserved pride in his voice responded, "So you pulled some muscles last night, it must have been good then. I am sure that I am up to a repeat performance today."

No if I have any say in the matter, Cordelia thought. " No Connor, when I finished getting dressed you need to take a shower, and then we need to go and see how the others are. We need to know if the apocalypse has been avoided or if the fights is still ongoing."

"Wouldn't you rather stay here Cordelia and enjoy the day, it may be the last one we have." Connor asked.

Cordelia wiped the tears from her face and tried to dry off and get dressed, she said. "I may have fell for that line when Xander used it back in high school but I have been around the block a few times since then." Dammit there was another time she wished she could have her mouth shut. Been around the block, well it's official even her subconscious admitted to the fact that she was now a cheap whore, the difference between her and the rest of the whores in LA was she didn't get paid for last night.

"What did you say Cordelia, I did hear anything except something about high school?"

"No, Connor we are not going to stay here and enjoy the day. We need to get back to the Hyperion and find out what is going on so that if need be we can help."

"Why would you want to help them Cordelia you are no longer part of the team you left them, you are with me now."

At hearing Connor's words, she regretted once again having fucked that dimwitted little boy. He still had not adjusted to living on earth with the reality that women did not feel like being told what to do, or who they were with. She wanted to rip off his equipment that he had so misused last night and hand them to him for his attitude alone. The whammy the Power had put on her must have screwed with her head because she could not have ever found this arrogant boy attractive and sweet. He was proving once again that he was as much Darla son as he was Angel. His attitudes was pure Darla, and probably with a good deal of Holtz's dark ages mentality towards women as property.

"Connor, I am not with you, I am just sharing a loft with you. Something that I think should end today, it is screwing with our perspectives and ideas of why we are here. I told you last night was special, but you should also know that it is the only time that we will be fucking ever."

With a puzzled look on his face Connor could not help but ask, "Fucking, I thought we had made love last night."

"No Connor, last night was fucking, not making love or even casual sex. It was about me being desperate and stupid enough to think that us doing the deed would change how that freak Holtz raised you.."

" Don't ever call my father a freak.."

" Stop the bullshit Connor, Holtz was not your father. He was the no good bastard who stole you away from the only people who ever truly loved you and tried to protect you. You father's name is Angel, he may be a vampire, but his soul loves you and he did everything that he could to protect you. He tried to get you back, he tried to go to Qor'toth to retrieve but all avenues were closed. He loved you so much that it nearly destroyed him when that bastard Holtz took you away."

"Good, Cordelia. Angelus deserves to suffer for what did to my father's family."

Before he could finish Cordelia fist connected with his chin, her demon strength had been behind the fist knocking Connor across the room. He landed hard on the floor, when he shook off the blackness that threatened to consumer he looked up to see Cordelia standing over him.

Before he could move her foot was on his throat pressing down with such force that he though she was going to break his neck.

"Now listen you ungrateful bastard, Angel and Angelus are two different creature stuck in the same body. Angel loves you and has tried to do everything that he could to show you love. Angelus would have tortured you and sucked the blood from your body for laughs. They are not the same person, if they were you would already be dead. I just wish I could have realized that last night before I hopped into bed with you like the whore that I proved myself to be."

"Now I am going to let you up and you are going to take a long shower and change you clothes, so we can go to the Hyperion and figure out what is going on, and maybe if we can help stop this world from turning into hell. You will behave and keep what happened last night a secret or I will twist your head from your body slowly as to make you suffer before you die."

As Connor look in Cordelia face her eyes began to glow with a white light, and he knew for certain that she was willing to keep her promise. Fine he would play along for now. He would keep his mouth shut until the time was right and he would get revenge on both Cordelia and Angelus. Then when he was done with them he would settle up with that tramp Fred, he was going to enjoy making her pay for shocking him with that tazer. Maybe he would make her watch as he killed that ignorant savage she whored with, just like his father Holtz had told him should be done to women who lower themselves to such a station. He father's lesson on Qor'toth had served him well, he would finish his father's work.

"All right Cordelia, we will do things your way."

Time was on his side; he would play innocent again and wait until the others turned their backs on him. Yes, time was on his side just like his father had told him it was.



Coming Soon

Chapter 4: It is not about us it is about the mission? Right.