That was Then, This is Now
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, these people aren't mine, so please do not sue.
Kristin: Wow, after I posted that last chapter I had exactly nine thousand words. Isn't that neat?
WARNING: This chapter has some large Mamoru bashing in it. It also contains a rather pointless conversation about castration. Why? I have no earthly idea. Blame it on the fact that I am writing this at about midnight and didn't eat much today. Both make me considerably weirder. Consider yourselves duly warned.
***
Chapter Six
Like in the dream that she had had sixteen years before, Usagi ran; although, this time it was away from her memories instead of to them. Her feet carried her out of the school and into the Forbidden Forest. Nothing in the forest could hurt her; her silver blood was poisonous to the dark creatures that lived in the forest. She ran as fast as she could until her lungs burned and her side was cramped. She hadn't run like this in years and found the pain to be a comfort. Her hair had come undone from its braid, and now flew out behind her like a banner. She didn't see the root that tripped her and twisted her ankle. Usagi lay where she had fallen, pressing her face into the carpet of leaves that covered the ground. The scent of decay invaded her nose accompanied by the indescribable woody smell that all forest floors share. She inhaled deeply, taking in the heady scent and allowed her tears to fall.
The stone had brought back too many memories that she had been trying to forget for years. However she was glad that everything that was trapped within the stone had not played. She had been with Sirius the day that Peter had betrayed him, and had been wearing the stone. It was undeniable proof that Sirius was innocent, clearly showing Peter as the one who had blown up the street and killed the muggles. Proof that the ministry had accused her of forging. It also contained a conversation with Lily, where Lily plainly stated that Sirius had refused to be their secret keeper and that Peter would be used instead. Another forgery. Small things like that were shown over and over on the stone. All were proclaimed forgeries and Sirius was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a nightmare.
After a time, Usagi used the tree whose root had tripped her to brace her as she slowly stood back up. She pushed her way further into the forest and by pure chance stumbled across a clearing. In the middle of the clearing stood a centaur, staring up at the morning sky. Usagi quietly limped over beside him, and gazed up at the barely visible moon. "What ails you?" The centaur's voice was gentle, with a soothing quality that gave Usagi a sense of peace.
"Memories," she continued to stare up at the moon, silently gaining comfort from the floating orb of light.
"Memories are best left in the past, highness." Usagi glanced at her companion.
"How did you know?" The centaur returned the glance.
"The stars speak of you often. Both your past and your future are very great and important things. I would be a fool not to know who you are." Usagi lowered her head, no longer wanting to look at what had once been her home.
"I wish that I knew who I was." Usagi hadn't even been aware that she had spoken aloud until the centaur replied.
"Do you truly not know who you are?" Usagi closed her eyes as tightly as she could.
"I've changed. I changed and I didn't even realize it. I'm not Serenity anymore, but I'm not Usagi either. Serenity was peaceful, wise, and content. Usagi was filled with life, vibrant, and cheerful no matter what. I'm nothing but a cold, hateful person. I deserve to be alone with nothing but my haunting memories." She raised her face as the tears slipped through her eyelids. The centaur placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"Nobody deserves to be alone, least of all you. Both Serenity and Usagi are still in you, you just have to find them again. I must take my leave of you, highness, but remember that, no matter what, the moon and the stars will always be there to guide you." The hand lifted from her shoulder and when Usagi opened her eyes again, the centaur was gone.
"Usagi?" Usagi turned to see Minako push her way into the clearing. She smiled and limped over to her friend. "Usagi! You're limping. What happened?" Usagi chuckled tiredly.
"I tripped. Please don't tell Rei." Minako giggled as she grabbed Usagi's arm and dropped it over her shoulder so that Usagi could use her as a human crutch.
"I promise that I won't tell Rei about your klutz attack. Here, I think that you forgot this." Minako held the dark memory stone out to her friend, who grabbed it and quickly secured the chain around her neck.
"Thank you." Minako smiled brightly, once again showing her bubbly personality.
"No problem, Usa. By the way, what exactly did you say to the boy? He nearly fainted after you left." Minako giggled at the thought while Usagi nodded slightly.
"You mean that you couldn't hear me?" Minako somehow managed to get her laughter under control.
"No. None of us could. You were talking too quietly." Usagi heaved a sigh of relief.
"Good. I could probably have lost my job if anyone had heard me and let's just leave it at that." Minako nodded and smirked.
"Okay," Minako waited for a long moment before asking, "So did you threaten to 'turn him into a eunuch' like you did to that Mamoru idiot during sixth year?" Usagi sighed heavily.
"You aren't going to let this drop, are you?" Minako bit her bottom lip to try and control her smile, and vigorously shook her head no.
"Fine. I threatened to rip his heart out with my bare hands. Are you happy now?" Minako smiled happily.
"Ecstatic. Did you know that Mamoru developed a spell to rectify his little 'problem'?" Usagi's face projected a look of interest.
"Really? I had heard that, but I wasn't sure if there was any truth behind it."
"It is all true. I ran into him a bit before the term started. He asked about you. Apparently his little crush on you is still there." Usagi chuckled.
"You would have thought that he would know better; after all, it was that little crush that finally pushed me to physically attacking him. I'm still surprised that I didn't get detention for that one." Minako laughed loudly.
"I don't think that he ever told. Too embarrassing, you know." Usagi allowed herself a small smile. The two friends spent the rest of the walk back to the castle in humorous silence; broken only by muffled laughter. Memories were put out of mind for a time, chased away by the renewal of a long time friendship. When they reached the school, Usagi and Minako separated. Usagi left to get her now swollen ankle taken care or, and Minako made her way down to the potions classroom, to take a look around before classes on Monday. To her surprise, Severus was already down there. She hesitantly stepped into the room and cleared her throat. Severus looked up, eyes widening in surprise when he saw who it was.
"Hello, Severus. It's been a long time." Severus slowly gained control of himself and managed to regain his indifferent mask.
"Yes, it has. What do you want?" Minako forced a smile at his rudeness.
"I wanted to get a look around the classroom before I start helping you teach on Monday. That is, of course, if it's okay with you, O Mighty Potions Master." Severus raised an eyebrow at the blond woman.
"Sarcasm does not suit you Minako. Very well, take a look around. It is much the same as it was before." Silence reined as Minako quietly made her way around the room, and Severus did everything he could to keep from staring at her. Minako finally stopped in front of Severus and broke the silence.
"Severus? Why did you break up with me?" Minako glanced up through her eyelashes at Severus.
"Why do you ask?"
"Usagi, she said that you, that you were still in love with me after we broke up. I know that it was a long time ago, but were you really still in love with me when you dumped me?" Minako stared up at him and found the answer in his eyes. "You were. You were still in love with me." A silent nod. "Then why?"
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Minako took a step away from him.
"You didn't want me to get hurt. You didn't want me to get hurt?! You bastard," Minako wrapped one arm around her waist and gripped her shoulder with the other as her voice became choked with emotions, "You hurt me Severus! You hurt me so badly that I was physically in pain. That's how much you hurt me! You physically hurt me so I think I should get a little bit of a better answer than your damn 'not wanting me to get hurt'." Severus sat down in a chair and motioned for her to do the same.
"After our fifth year, during the summer, I became a Death Eater," he paused as she gasped before continuing, "But, after my mum was murdered in sixth year, I just couldn't do it anymore. Unfortunately, that isn't an easy group to get out of so I started to use it to my advantage. I became a spy for Dumbledore. However, Voldemort started to become suspicious. He almost had me kill Usagi. If he had found out about us, then he would have had me kill you. Please, Minako, understand, I was doing it for you." He looked at Minako pleadingly as she stood and headed toward the door.
"I'm sorry. I really am, but I just can't. You say that you didn't want to hurt me. Severus, I know that I acted petty and shallow during our school years. I know that, but I didn't care about whether or not I died. I cared about you. Voldemort could have killed my physical body, but you ripped out my heart and killed my soul. You don't seem to realize what you did to me. I won't leave, because these children deserve to be taught, but don't think that things are going to immediately be okay between us." Severus stood and closed the door when Minako reached out for the handle. His eyes silently begged for forgiveness as he stared down at her.
"I'm not asking for a miracle, Minako, but, we are going to be spending the rest of this school year side by side for the most part. I'm not expecting things to go back to the way that they were before, but it would make things a lot easier if we were friends. So, what do you say Minako? Do you forgive me enough to at least be friends?" Minako hesitated as she stared up into his eyes. The same dark eyes that she had dreamed of seeing love in, and had gotten lost in several times. The eyes that had first drawn her to him. The dark eyes that belonged to the only man that she had ever loved, and still did love; although, she didn't plan on telling him that any time soon. She smiled and held out her hand.
"Friends." Severus smiled back, making Minako's heart skip a beat, and shook her hand, before opening the door for her.
"I'm glad."
"So am I."
*
Chibi Chibi was walking back to the Gryffindor common room with a girl who had befriended her the night before. Ginny Weasly was a good person to talk to, and in her Chibi Chibi had found a kindred spirit in the subject of pranks. The two girls were already busily planning the downfall of the Slytherins as they walked. Ginny had tried to talk to Chibi Chibi about what they had seen in the memory stone, but she had refused, saying that her mother's privacy had been violated enough for one day. They were debating the pros and cons of releasing a hoard of rabid weasels at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall when Chibi Chibi heard a boy's voice talking about what had happened that morning.
"Snape and Black related. Who would have thought?"
"I know what you mean. There are absolutely no similarities between them," a girl's voice commented.
"This really isn't any of our business," a second boy's voice stated.
"Oh, I've got it! They have the same scowl," the first boy said and then laughed. Chibi Chibi bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming and motioned for Ginny to be quiet while she listened.
"Okay, now that is enough. Sure, Snape can be a heartless git, but Black is pretty nice. I think that she's just lonely." Chibi Chibi smiled at the second boy's words. In one word, he had summed her mother up perfectly. Both of the Black girls knew that their mother acted like a workaholic and distanced herself from people so that she wouldn't get hurt again. Doing that did tend to make a person lonely.
"Come on. There is more to those two them meets the eye. Did you see the mark on Black's forehead and Snape's wrist? I bet that they're demons or something. It would explain a lot." Chibi Chibi's hands curled into fists as she abruptly stopped and turned around. She recognized the three as seventh years that her sister had been speaking to the night before, first at dinner and then in the common room.
"That is enough! How dare you talk about people that you barely know? You have absolutely no right! My mum and uncle have been through things that would make your worst nightmares seem cheerful. If they are hard on you, it's because they want you to be prepared when you leave here. If they are rude to you then you most likely deserve it. It doesn't matter if they are your professors or not. They are people and because of that they deserve your respect. Keep that in mind you arrogant bloke!" Satisfied with the stunned, humbled looks on the three teenagers faces, Chibi Chibi turned back around, grabbed Ginny's arm and walked briskly down the hall. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched the human time bomb walk away from them with Ginny. Harry turned to Ron.
"I told you that it wasn't any of our business."
Kristin: I'm kind of surprised that nobody said anything about the mark on Severus' wrist. It is kind of important to a part of the story.
Special Thanks to:
Saturnpyroprincess
Moon
Sele: Only a few of the professors really know what the mark means. Hermione will probably do research until she figures it out though.
Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito: He isn't really evil per say. He just wanted to get back at her for what she said about his dad.
Aeyrn
Usagi Malfoy: Definitely amazingly good-looking.
Comechatcha: Nobody could hear what she said, she isn't telling what she said, and Draco is too scared to tell what she said.
Crazygurl70: *points at Crazygurl70 and screams* MINDREADER!!!! Actually I have been planning for it to be a Chibi Chibi/Draco since the beginning.
AngelQueen: She didn't do that because then he couldn't get together with Chibi Chibi later.
Luna_the_lune
Solarmistress17
Alexz
Sailor Bree
Silver Moon Goddess: Yes you were right, but I was expecting you to be the one to ask about the mark on Severus' wrist and make a guess at it. Sadly nobody seemed to notice it. My careful plotting has been for nothing.
Hilary
Silver Dragonfly
WindRider-Damia
Sailorruss
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, these people aren't mine, so please do not sue.
Kristin: Wow, after I posted that last chapter I had exactly nine thousand words. Isn't that neat?
WARNING: This chapter has some large Mamoru bashing in it. It also contains a rather pointless conversation about castration. Why? I have no earthly idea. Blame it on the fact that I am writing this at about midnight and didn't eat much today. Both make me considerably weirder. Consider yourselves duly warned.
***
Chapter Six
Like in the dream that she had had sixteen years before, Usagi ran; although, this time it was away from her memories instead of to them. Her feet carried her out of the school and into the Forbidden Forest. Nothing in the forest could hurt her; her silver blood was poisonous to the dark creatures that lived in the forest. She ran as fast as she could until her lungs burned and her side was cramped. She hadn't run like this in years and found the pain to be a comfort. Her hair had come undone from its braid, and now flew out behind her like a banner. She didn't see the root that tripped her and twisted her ankle. Usagi lay where she had fallen, pressing her face into the carpet of leaves that covered the ground. The scent of decay invaded her nose accompanied by the indescribable woody smell that all forest floors share. She inhaled deeply, taking in the heady scent and allowed her tears to fall.
The stone had brought back too many memories that she had been trying to forget for years. However she was glad that everything that was trapped within the stone had not played. She had been with Sirius the day that Peter had betrayed him, and had been wearing the stone. It was undeniable proof that Sirius was innocent, clearly showing Peter as the one who had blown up the street and killed the muggles. Proof that the ministry had accused her of forging. It also contained a conversation with Lily, where Lily plainly stated that Sirius had refused to be their secret keeper and that Peter would be used instead. Another forgery. Small things like that were shown over and over on the stone. All were proclaimed forgeries and Sirius was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a nightmare.
After a time, Usagi used the tree whose root had tripped her to brace her as she slowly stood back up. She pushed her way further into the forest and by pure chance stumbled across a clearing. In the middle of the clearing stood a centaur, staring up at the morning sky. Usagi quietly limped over beside him, and gazed up at the barely visible moon. "What ails you?" The centaur's voice was gentle, with a soothing quality that gave Usagi a sense of peace.
"Memories," she continued to stare up at the moon, silently gaining comfort from the floating orb of light.
"Memories are best left in the past, highness." Usagi glanced at her companion.
"How did you know?" The centaur returned the glance.
"The stars speak of you often. Both your past and your future are very great and important things. I would be a fool not to know who you are." Usagi lowered her head, no longer wanting to look at what had once been her home.
"I wish that I knew who I was." Usagi hadn't even been aware that she had spoken aloud until the centaur replied.
"Do you truly not know who you are?" Usagi closed her eyes as tightly as she could.
"I've changed. I changed and I didn't even realize it. I'm not Serenity anymore, but I'm not Usagi either. Serenity was peaceful, wise, and content. Usagi was filled with life, vibrant, and cheerful no matter what. I'm nothing but a cold, hateful person. I deserve to be alone with nothing but my haunting memories." She raised her face as the tears slipped through her eyelids. The centaur placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"Nobody deserves to be alone, least of all you. Both Serenity and Usagi are still in you, you just have to find them again. I must take my leave of you, highness, but remember that, no matter what, the moon and the stars will always be there to guide you." The hand lifted from her shoulder and when Usagi opened her eyes again, the centaur was gone.
"Usagi?" Usagi turned to see Minako push her way into the clearing. She smiled and limped over to her friend. "Usagi! You're limping. What happened?" Usagi chuckled tiredly.
"I tripped. Please don't tell Rei." Minako giggled as she grabbed Usagi's arm and dropped it over her shoulder so that Usagi could use her as a human crutch.
"I promise that I won't tell Rei about your klutz attack. Here, I think that you forgot this." Minako held the dark memory stone out to her friend, who grabbed it and quickly secured the chain around her neck.
"Thank you." Minako smiled brightly, once again showing her bubbly personality.
"No problem, Usa. By the way, what exactly did you say to the boy? He nearly fainted after you left." Minako giggled at the thought while Usagi nodded slightly.
"You mean that you couldn't hear me?" Minako somehow managed to get her laughter under control.
"No. None of us could. You were talking too quietly." Usagi heaved a sigh of relief.
"Good. I could probably have lost my job if anyone had heard me and let's just leave it at that." Minako nodded and smirked.
"Okay," Minako waited for a long moment before asking, "So did you threaten to 'turn him into a eunuch' like you did to that Mamoru idiot during sixth year?" Usagi sighed heavily.
"You aren't going to let this drop, are you?" Minako bit her bottom lip to try and control her smile, and vigorously shook her head no.
"Fine. I threatened to rip his heart out with my bare hands. Are you happy now?" Minako smiled happily.
"Ecstatic. Did you know that Mamoru developed a spell to rectify his little 'problem'?" Usagi's face projected a look of interest.
"Really? I had heard that, but I wasn't sure if there was any truth behind it."
"It is all true. I ran into him a bit before the term started. He asked about you. Apparently his little crush on you is still there." Usagi chuckled.
"You would have thought that he would know better; after all, it was that little crush that finally pushed me to physically attacking him. I'm still surprised that I didn't get detention for that one." Minako laughed loudly.
"I don't think that he ever told. Too embarrassing, you know." Usagi allowed herself a small smile. The two friends spent the rest of the walk back to the castle in humorous silence; broken only by muffled laughter. Memories were put out of mind for a time, chased away by the renewal of a long time friendship. When they reached the school, Usagi and Minako separated. Usagi left to get her now swollen ankle taken care or, and Minako made her way down to the potions classroom, to take a look around before classes on Monday. To her surprise, Severus was already down there. She hesitantly stepped into the room and cleared her throat. Severus looked up, eyes widening in surprise when he saw who it was.
"Hello, Severus. It's been a long time." Severus slowly gained control of himself and managed to regain his indifferent mask.
"Yes, it has. What do you want?" Minako forced a smile at his rudeness.
"I wanted to get a look around the classroom before I start helping you teach on Monday. That is, of course, if it's okay with you, O Mighty Potions Master." Severus raised an eyebrow at the blond woman.
"Sarcasm does not suit you Minako. Very well, take a look around. It is much the same as it was before." Silence reined as Minako quietly made her way around the room, and Severus did everything he could to keep from staring at her. Minako finally stopped in front of Severus and broke the silence.
"Severus? Why did you break up with me?" Minako glanced up through her eyelashes at Severus.
"Why do you ask?"
"Usagi, she said that you, that you were still in love with me after we broke up. I know that it was a long time ago, but were you really still in love with me when you dumped me?" Minako stared up at him and found the answer in his eyes. "You were. You were still in love with me." A silent nod. "Then why?"
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Minako took a step away from him.
"You didn't want me to get hurt. You didn't want me to get hurt?! You bastard," Minako wrapped one arm around her waist and gripped her shoulder with the other as her voice became choked with emotions, "You hurt me Severus! You hurt me so badly that I was physically in pain. That's how much you hurt me! You physically hurt me so I think I should get a little bit of a better answer than your damn 'not wanting me to get hurt'." Severus sat down in a chair and motioned for her to do the same.
"After our fifth year, during the summer, I became a Death Eater," he paused as she gasped before continuing, "But, after my mum was murdered in sixth year, I just couldn't do it anymore. Unfortunately, that isn't an easy group to get out of so I started to use it to my advantage. I became a spy for Dumbledore. However, Voldemort started to become suspicious. He almost had me kill Usagi. If he had found out about us, then he would have had me kill you. Please, Minako, understand, I was doing it for you." He looked at Minako pleadingly as she stood and headed toward the door.
"I'm sorry. I really am, but I just can't. You say that you didn't want to hurt me. Severus, I know that I acted petty and shallow during our school years. I know that, but I didn't care about whether or not I died. I cared about you. Voldemort could have killed my physical body, but you ripped out my heart and killed my soul. You don't seem to realize what you did to me. I won't leave, because these children deserve to be taught, but don't think that things are going to immediately be okay between us." Severus stood and closed the door when Minako reached out for the handle. His eyes silently begged for forgiveness as he stared down at her.
"I'm not asking for a miracle, Minako, but, we are going to be spending the rest of this school year side by side for the most part. I'm not expecting things to go back to the way that they were before, but it would make things a lot easier if we were friends. So, what do you say Minako? Do you forgive me enough to at least be friends?" Minako hesitated as she stared up into his eyes. The same dark eyes that she had dreamed of seeing love in, and had gotten lost in several times. The eyes that had first drawn her to him. The dark eyes that belonged to the only man that she had ever loved, and still did love; although, she didn't plan on telling him that any time soon. She smiled and held out her hand.
"Friends." Severus smiled back, making Minako's heart skip a beat, and shook her hand, before opening the door for her.
"I'm glad."
"So am I."
*
Chibi Chibi was walking back to the Gryffindor common room with a girl who had befriended her the night before. Ginny Weasly was a good person to talk to, and in her Chibi Chibi had found a kindred spirit in the subject of pranks. The two girls were already busily planning the downfall of the Slytherins as they walked. Ginny had tried to talk to Chibi Chibi about what they had seen in the memory stone, but she had refused, saying that her mother's privacy had been violated enough for one day. They were debating the pros and cons of releasing a hoard of rabid weasels at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall when Chibi Chibi heard a boy's voice talking about what had happened that morning.
"Snape and Black related. Who would have thought?"
"I know what you mean. There are absolutely no similarities between them," a girl's voice commented.
"This really isn't any of our business," a second boy's voice stated.
"Oh, I've got it! They have the same scowl," the first boy said and then laughed. Chibi Chibi bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming and motioned for Ginny to be quiet while she listened.
"Okay, now that is enough. Sure, Snape can be a heartless git, but Black is pretty nice. I think that she's just lonely." Chibi Chibi smiled at the second boy's words. In one word, he had summed her mother up perfectly. Both of the Black girls knew that their mother acted like a workaholic and distanced herself from people so that she wouldn't get hurt again. Doing that did tend to make a person lonely.
"Come on. There is more to those two them meets the eye. Did you see the mark on Black's forehead and Snape's wrist? I bet that they're demons or something. It would explain a lot." Chibi Chibi's hands curled into fists as she abruptly stopped and turned around. She recognized the three as seventh years that her sister had been speaking to the night before, first at dinner and then in the common room.
"That is enough! How dare you talk about people that you barely know? You have absolutely no right! My mum and uncle have been through things that would make your worst nightmares seem cheerful. If they are hard on you, it's because they want you to be prepared when you leave here. If they are rude to you then you most likely deserve it. It doesn't matter if they are your professors or not. They are people and because of that they deserve your respect. Keep that in mind you arrogant bloke!" Satisfied with the stunned, humbled looks on the three teenagers faces, Chibi Chibi turned back around, grabbed Ginny's arm and walked briskly down the hall. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched the human time bomb walk away from them with Ginny. Harry turned to Ron.
"I told you that it wasn't any of our business."
Kristin: I'm kind of surprised that nobody said anything about the mark on Severus' wrist. It is kind of important to a part of the story.
Special Thanks to:
Saturnpyroprincess
Moon
Sele: Only a few of the professors really know what the mark means. Hermione will probably do research until she figures it out though.
Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito: He isn't really evil per say. He just wanted to get back at her for what she said about his dad.
Aeyrn
Usagi Malfoy: Definitely amazingly good-looking.
Comechatcha: Nobody could hear what she said, she isn't telling what she said, and Draco is too scared to tell what she said.
Crazygurl70: *points at Crazygurl70 and screams* MINDREADER!!!! Actually I have been planning for it to be a Chibi Chibi/Draco since the beginning.
AngelQueen: She didn't do that because then he couldn't get together with Chibi Chibi later.
Luna_the_lune
Solarmistress17
Alexz
Sailor Bree
Silver Moon Goddess: Yes you were right, but I was expecting you to be the one to ask about the mark on Severus' wrist and make a guess at it. Sadly nobody seemed to notice it. My careful plotting has been for nothing.
Hilary
Silver Dragonfly
WindRider-Damia
Sailorruss