Warnings: Yaoi, NCS and violence later on
Pairings: 1x2, 2x5, 1x5(NCS)
Summary: After the war, Duo and Wufei are living a peaceful life together. However, when Heero returns, things change...
A/N: Forgot to mention, Endless Waltz never happened.
Things Change
by Amyeyl
Chapter 3
I turn my head and look at the clock. The clock stares back impassively, 11:24 pm stands out a bright red in the darkness of the room. Over seven hours have passed, I must have fallen asleep. I sit up and stretch, trying to work the kinks out of my body. There's something important I should be doing right now, not sitting alone in the darkness of the bedroom, but in my post-sleep haze it doesn't seem to matter. What I should be doing and what I want to do are two completely different things. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle what I need to do, but giving in to what I want to do would be so easy. To lie down again, go back to sleep, so very easy to forget the rest of the world exists, to forget he exists.
I climb stiffly out of the bed and head into the adjoining bathroom. I flip the switch and wince as the room is flooded with light. Peering into the mirror, I note with a kind of detachment that I look like shit. My eyes are puffy with lingering traces of redness and my hair is defying gravity. The outside matches the inside, so I guess it's appropriate. I finger-comb the mess back into some semblance of normality and exit the bathroom, turning the light off as I go. While it would be so easy to forget everything, including Heero, I could never forget Wufei.
It's for him that I have to hold myself together. It's for him that I will face Heero again after all these years. And it's him that I will protect with my very life. I don't know what Heero's thinking, but he'll have to play his games with someone else.
I leave the bedroom and head down the hall. I know he must be worried about me. Seven hours is a long time to cry. Even if I wasn't crying for most of the time, he wouldn't know that. He said he would go so he wouldn't have ventured near the bedroom until I came out. I wonder how he's holding up.
I get my answer as I enter the living room. He's asleep on the couch, curled around a pillow that's a poor substitute for my own body. I'm glad he's managed to get to some sleep; I hope he's been that way for a while. Although I wish I had been here with him instead of hiding in the bedroom.
It's best if I let him sleep for now. With Heero who knows what we'll be up against, and this could be his last chance for a full night's sleep. I move into the kitchen intent on finding...something, I'm not sure what. The phone has been hung up, I notice, and a closer look shows the oven to have been turned off. What became of the cookies, I wonder. Peering into the trashcan, I get my answer.
The first casualties of this new war. The innocent always suffer in a time of crisis, but they will be avenged. If Heero shows his face, he will pay for their deaths and anything else he tries to harm. However, if the cookies are the worst tragedy that occurs, I will be beyond grateful.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. A good piece of advice that I've taken to heart. As long as you don't allow it to make you careless, which can happen all too easily, I've found this the best way to approach any problem.
I find myself staring into the refrigerator. I'm not really hungry, I just need...something. I go through the cabinets as well, whatever it is I'm looking for doesn't seem to be in here. With a sigh, I pour myself a glass of water and sit at the kitchen table. I would have preferred something stronger, but that wouldn't have been very smart of me. The time for falling apart can come when this is all over.
It's funny, less than half a day ago I was sitting in this very chair watching Wufei bake. My life was perfect, well, perfect enough that I didn't want for anything. And now, just like those cookies, everything is wrong. It's supposed to be a time of peace, we shouldn't have to worry about where the next attack is going to come from. And should ever a time arise we that became necessary again, the five of us should have been able to rely on one another. Under no circumstance should we have to fear one another, under no circumstance should be afraid of one of our own. After everything we've been through... Yet, that's what's happening, and it's so very wrong.
I stare into my glass. Half empty or half full? If you choose half empty they say you're a pessimist, half full, then you're an optimist. What are you when you make no distinction? How are you classified if just the fact that there is water in the glass is enough for you? Does it even matter? I suppose not. What matters is not having anything more pressing to worry about than the amount of water in your glass.
There's a sound, like the plop of drop of water joining it's own, and it seems so loud in the stillness. Why is it so loud? That's when I notice. I'm crying again, my tears falling from my down turned face to join the water in my glass. I stare transfixed as a single tear clings to the end of my nose, as if afraid to take the final plunge that will reunite it with its fellows. It's afraid, I find myself thinking. Afraid of letting go of the familiar and taking the plunge into something new that may ultimately be better. I understand, I tell it silently, but there's nothing to be afraid of. And I do understand.
*~*~*~*~*
Trowa and Quatre had left some time ago for another mission. Duo had been assigned to go but he was in no shape to do so. Trowa had easily offered to take his place and after lunch the two had set off. This left the braided boy alone with Wufei.
In times past the Chinese boy would have wandered away as soon as they were left alone, leaving Duo to his own devices. But things were different now. Ever since Heero had left him, Wufei had been hovering. He hesitated to call it hovering for fear of the Chinese boy taking offense, but hovering was what it was.
Whatever you wanted to call it, Duo found himself enjoying it. Wufei had pulled him back from the edge and he was grateful for the constant presence that kept him from slipping. However, he couldn't help but wonder if that was all this was. Did Wufei remain only to make sure he did himself no harm? If so, he wanted no part of his kindness anymore.
But he found himself hoping it meant more, hoping the Chinese boy could actually see him as someone worthwhile, someone he could call a friend. He'd always held Wufei's approval in high esteem and if he truly thought him worth saving, simply because he was himself and not for how it may affect the war, then maybe it was true. Maybe he was valuable in his own right, more than just Heero's cast away.
He thought that maybe he was ready to face the world again. More than a month had passed, and while not ready to see Heero again or to let his heart out Duo thought it was about time that he at least stopped hiding.
Wufei was talking to him again. He enjoyed listening to the boy, his voice was perfect for this sort of thing. It was so soft and you could just get carried away on it. If he ever had trouble sleeping he might just have to beg Wufei for a bedtime story.
Not only did he have a wonderful voice, but he was sharing so many things about himself Duo had only dreamed of being privileged enough to hear. After much prodding on his part over the time they had known each other, he was finally being allowed to see behind the masks the Chinese boy wore. It was this that contributed to the belief that Wufei was actually worried about him, and not just the war.
But wait, something was wrong. Wufei's voice sounded distant, forced. Duo paid more attention to what was being said. Wufei had been married...? Meiran. Her name was Meiran and she died trying to defend their colony... No wonder Wufei was so different now from the boy in the stories he told about his past. Wait, where was he going?
Soon after Wufei had hurried into the kitchen there hard been a crash. Duo had been up out of his seat quickly and followed him through the doorway. What he saw broke his heart again, and he dropped down to the floor to embrace the other boy. It was then he noticed that he was crying as well.
*~*~*~*~*
"Duo?" his still sleepy voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I blink a few times to clear my head and notice the tear has fallen from my nose and into the glass.
Wufei pads into the kitchen, the pillow still held in his arms, and smiles a bit to see me out of the room. It's a little unsure, I mean I'm sitting here in the dark, but when I hold my arms out to him it blossoms into a full-fledged one.
He's in my arms before I can blink, the pillow forgotten on the tiled floor. Arranging him comfortably on my lap, I kiss his soft lips and rest my head against his silken hair. All those years ago, I leapt into the unknown with him, a kindred spirit, and I haven't looked back since.
**********
"Soon, 05, so very soon and I'll have you as my own. I'm sure you'll be so very much fun. I really need a new toy, all the ones lately are so very fragile. Use any force at all and they break, what fun is that? But you, you'll be different. You're strong and I can really play with you. We'll have so much fun together, and I'm sure you'll last a long time. I bet I'll never need another toy," Heero smiled at the black and white photo resting on the pillow next to him. He leaned over and pressed a light kiss to the replicated lips before settling back down for sleep, his arm draped over the empty space next to him that would soon be filled, "Goodnight."
A/N: I'm getting sorta attached to crazy little Heero, figuring out an ending is gonna be harder than I thought. Oh well, I've got a while.