CHAPTER 2:
TITLE: Existing in fear SERIES: probably stand-alone but who knows? AUTHOR: zanziba COPYRIGHT: May 2001 DISTRUBUTION: Ask first pls. E-mail: i_have_a_soul@foreverangel.zzn.com RATING: R, but possibly this may change. CATEGORY: Buffy/Angel, angst/romance DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from BTVS or ANGEL. FEEDBACK: yes please! SUMMERY: What would have happened if Angel hadn't decided to leave at the end of Season 3. Would their love have survived? Be warned : SERIOUS ANGST.
Also, apologies to those Riley fans out there, I've been having some fun by doing a bit of Riley-bashing in this chapter. And no, I'm not going to take it out. Its the only pleasure I get from the show at the moment, and while Joss is temporarily insane and bringing in these stupid characters who attempt to separate the soulmates B/A, then I feel it is my duty to mock and jeer at them! Personally I think that anybody who takes offence from reading a bit of Riley (/Kate/Jhiera/Cordelia/Parker)-bashing ( not Spike though, coz tho he shouldn't be with Buffy he's still all adorable and cuddly and he DOES really love her, I couldn't bear to laugh at him!) has been infected by the same alien tribe that have possessed Joss and deserve to be thoroughly exorcised! So really I'm not sorry one little bit for the Riley-bashing! hehe From a B/A POV: I'm sorry, I was very depressed when I wrote this having just watched Graduation Part 2 but please read! THANKS: to Bex, my bestest bud who blames herself for the existance of this fic due to her abandonment of me in my moment of need!
A message to all those readers out there who have been waiting for this chapter since February: Sorry it took so long, guys. My computer's been down and I've had finals to revise for, I haven't been able to get online for a while. The next updates won't take so long I promise!
This fic is inspired by Sarah McLachlan's song ' Fear', hence the angst!
"How many years do you think you could exist with words and promises before you'd need something more physical?"
"It wouldn't matter,"
"It would. That's what love does. No matter how deeply it's rooted in the heart and soul, it eventually demands physical completion. If I stayed here, with you, we could deny those needs--maybe for years--but not forever. Love either receives its demands, or it dies.
' Until All The Stars Go Out ' - zanziba
As the lift took him down into the depths of the Initiative headquarters, Riley Finn surveyed the multiple bruises and nail marks which covered him. Buffy had been very difficult tonight, in fact, she had almost completly refused to put out, until he had skilfully reminded her of the huge role she played in the future of her beloved vampire.
Riley walked around his room in frustration. Buffy was meant to have been there an hour ago. She couldn't possibly have got the time wrong.....she'd been coming to him at that time twice a week, for months. There was only one possible explanation for her absence, and that was that she wasn't intending to come at all. Riley pulled on his jacket and reached for the doorknob. He was mad. Really mad. She couldn't been going back on the deal she had made with him.... could she? He had thought she cared enough about that hostile boyfriend of hers to keep her side of the bargain. Or that was the impression he had got all those months ago, at that lecture in LA. That was when it had all started.
He had been coming back from a really interesting lecture when he had seen a car at the side of the road. They looked as if they had broken down, so, being the kind and generous soul that he was, he stopped the car to help. It took him completly by surprise when he saw that the young blond woman stepping out of the car was none other than a student he knew from Professor Walsh's psych class, Buffy Summers.
He had wanted her since the moment he had first seen her, when she dropped a pile of books on his head in the library. She was beautiful - long blond locks and bright hazel eyes. He had spoken to her best friend Willow about her. Apparently she was involved with someone - that didn't matter too much, it could change. However, soon it became clear that, far from being attracted to him, she could hardly stand the sight of him. He followed her around, invited himself to wherever she was going, followed the strict and unbroken tacts set out by scores of Petrachan courtly lovers centuries ago. It was to no avail. He needed to delve deeper, reach into the depths of her soul. He needed to get under her skin.
He started to use the Initiative's personal files. He became obsessed with her, desperatly seeking for any small bits of knowledge that might bring him closer to her. She sure wasn't the typical high-school girl that he had thought she was. He found police records - Age 15:burnt down school gym, Age 17: lead suspect in two murder investigations and assalted a policeman, Age 18:blown up high school. Buffy Anne Summers really was a girl of mystery, and as Riley found out more and more, he was drawn further and further in.
One day, as Riley was patrolling the campus with his laser gun, he heard a girl screaming from behind a clump of trees. He quickly grabbed his radio, informing the base camp that he might need back-up, before running towards the danger zone. As he came round the bushes and the fight came into view, he saw a thin young blond fighting 5 vampires...another girl was huddling down against a tree a bit away from them, holding her neck. He quickly sprung into action.
It soon became clear to him that the thin blond with her back to him, needed no help whatsoever fighting off the vampires..in fact, she fought better than most of his team would in a fight - and without weaponry. However, being Riley Finn, which meant being so egotistic that nothing else ever mattered to him, he fought on. The still unidentified girl screamed at him: to get out of the way, to go see if the other girl was injured - but Riley just stared blankly at her face, finally turned towards him. He knew who this girl with her superb fighting skills, and seemingly unnatural strength was. It was Buffy Summers. The love of his life.
Buffy froze as she saw him, stake hovering in mid-air, before dropping to the ground. The one remaining vampire saw his chance...and took it. He hurled himself at her, pulling a small silver dagger out of his coat. Buffy snapped out of her stupor and bent down for her stake, scrabbling in the soil for her weapon, but there was no hope. Even Riley could see that it was too late.
Just as Riley was preparing himself to hear the sickening squelch of metal and flesh, and Buffy was desperatly searching for a means of escape as the vampire bore down on her, a dark streak came out of nowhere and within seconds the intimidating vampire was dust. He stumbled over towards the pair, the second of whom he could see quite clearly now. It was a man, pale skin, dark hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, and was dressed all in black - leather pants, silk shirt and a large duster.But above all he was stunningly handsome, so much so that even Riley, in all his extraordinary vanity, could see the difference between himself and the man in black. He felt a surge of envy go through him as he looked at him.
He watched, struck dumb, as the man in black drew Buffy into his arms and hugged her tight, whispering silent endearments in her hair. Buffy was shaking in his arms, her hands plunged deep into his hair, her face buried in his chest. Their lips met in a tender kiss as the man gently wiped the droplets of tears collecting around her eyes away. Suddenly recollecting Riley's presence, Buffy pulled back reluncantly.She turned to face him.....................
"DAMN IT!", Riley woke up with a jolt as the bell on the elevator went. If only things were as simple as he thought they would be all those months ago. But they couldn't be....not now. She had stood him up. HIM, Riley Finn. And she WOULD pay for it. A big price. Afterall, no girl, even a Slayer, can stand up Riley Finn, and get away with it.
I have so much to lose herein this lonely place, Tangled up in your embrace, and There's nothing I'd like better than to fall, But I fear I have nothing to give. Wind in time rapes to flower trembling on the vine, And nothing yields to shelter from above. They say tempation will destroy our love, The never-ending hunger, But I fear I have nothing to give. I fear I have nothing to give.
TITLE: Existing in fear SERIES: probably stand-alone but who knows? AUTHOR: zanziba COPYRIGHT: May 2001 DISTRUBUTION: Ask first pls. E-mail: i_have_a_soul@foreverangel.zzn.com RATING: R, but possibly this may change. CATEGORY: Buffy/Angel, angst/romance DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from BTVS or ANGEL. FEEDBACK: yes please! SUMMERY: What would have happened if Angel hadn't decided to leave at the end of Season 3. Would their love have survived? Be warned : SERIOUS ANGST.
Also, apologies to those Riley fans out there, I've been having some fun by doing a bit of Riley-bashing in this chapter. And no, I'm not going to take it out. Its the only pleasure I get from the show at the moment, and while Joss is temporarily insane and bringing in these stupid characters who attempt to separate the soulmates B/A, then I feel it is my duty to mock and jeer at them! Personally I think that anybody who takes offence from reading a bit of Riley (/Kate/Jhiera/Cordelia/Parker)-bashing ( not Spike though, coz tho he shouldn't be with Buffy he's still all adorable and cuddly and he DOES really love her, I couldn't bear to laugh at him!) has been infected by the same alien tribe that have possessed Joss and deserve to be thoroughly exorcised! So really I'm not sorry one little bit for the Riley-bashing! hehe From a B/A POV: I'm sorry, I was very depressed when I wrote this having just watched Graduation Part 2 but please read! THANKS: to Bex, my bestest bud who blames herself for the existance of this fic due to her abandonment of me in my moment of need!
A message to all those readers out there who have been waiting for this chapter since February: Sorry it took so long, guys. My computer's been down and I've had finals to revise for, I haven't been able to get online for a while. The next updates won't take so long I promise!
This fic is inspired by Sarah McLachlan's song ' Fear', hence the angst!
"How many years do you think you could exist with words and promises before you'd need something more physical?"
"It wouldn't matter,"
"It would. That's what love does. No matter how deeply it's rooted in the heart and soul, it eventually demands physical completion. If I stayed here, with you, we could deny those needs--maybe for years--but not forever. Love either receives its demands, or it dies.
' Until All The Stars Go Out ' - zanziba
As the lift took him down into the depths of the Initiative headquarters, Riley Finn surveyed the multiple bruises and nail marks which covered him. Buffy had been very difficult tonight, in fact, she had almost completly refused to put out, until he had skilfully reminded her of the huge role she played in the future of her beloved vampire.
Riley walked around his room in frustration. Buffy was meant to have been there an hour ago. She couldn't possibly have got the time wrong.....she'd been coming to him at that time twice a week, for months. There was only one possible explanation for her absence, and that was that she wasn't intending to come at all. Riley pulled on his jacket and reached for the doorknob. He was mad. Really mad. She couldn't been going back on the deal she had made with him.... could she? He had thought she cared enough about that hostile boyfriend of hers to keep her side of the bargain. Or that was the impression he had got all those months ago, at that lecture in LA. That was when it had all started.
He had been coming back from a really interesting lecture when he had seen a car at the side of the road. They looked as if they had broken down, so, being the kind and generous soul that he was, he stopped the car to help. It took him completly by surprise when he saw that the young blond woman stepping out of the car was none other than a student he knew from Professor Walsh's psych class, Buffy Summers.
He had wanted her since the moment he had first seen her, when she dropped a pile of books on his head in the library. She was beautiful - long blond locks and bright hazel eyes. He had spoken to her best friend Willow about her. Apparently she was involved with someone - that didn't matter too much, it could change. However, soon it became clear that, far from being attracted to him, she could hardly stand the sight of him. He followed her around, invited himself to wherever she was going, followed the strict and unbroken tacts set out by scores of Petrachan courtly lovers centuries ago. It was to no avail. He needed to delve deeper, reach into the depths of her soul. He needed to get under her skin.
He started to use the Initiative's personal files. He became obsessed with her, desperatly seeking for any small bits of knowledge that might bring him closer to her. She sure wasn't the typical high-school girl that he had thought she was. He found police records - Age 15:burnt down school gym, Age 17: lead suspect in two murder investigations and assalted a policeman, Age 18:blown up high school. Buffy Anne Summers really was a girl of mystery, and as Riley found out more and more, he was drawn further and further in.
One day, as Riley was patrolling the campus with his laser gun, he heard a girl screaming from behind a clump of trees. He quickly grabbed his radio, informing the base camp that he might need back-up, before running towards the danger zone. As he came round the bushes and the fight came into view, he saw a thin young blond fighting 5 vampires...another girl was huddling down against a tree a bit away from them, holding her neck. He quickly sprung into action.
It soon became clear to him that the thin blond with her back to him, needed no help whatsoever fighting off the vampires..in fact, she fought better than most of his team would in a fight - and without weaponry. However, being Riley Finn, which meant being so egotistic that nothing else ever mattered to him, he fought on. The still unidentified girl screamed at him: to get out of the way, to go see if the other girl was injured - but Riley just stared blankly at her face, finally turned towards him. He knew who this girl with her superb fighting skills, and seemingly unnatural strength was. It was Buffy Summers. The love of his life.
Buffy froze as she saw him, stake hovering in mid-air, before dropping to the ground. The one remaining vampire saw his chance...and took it. He hurled himself at her, pulling a small silver dagger out of his coat. Buffy snapped out of her stupor and bent down for her stake, scrabbling in the soil for her weapon, but there was no hope. Even Riley could see that it was too late.
Just as Riley was preparing himself to hear the sickening squelch of metal and flesh, and Buffy was desperatly searching for a means of escape as the vampire bore down on her, a dark streak came out of nowhere and within seconds the intimidating vampire was dust. He stumbled over towards the pair, the second of whom he could see quite clearly now. It was a man, pale skin, dark hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, and was dressed all in black - leather pants, silk shirt and a large duster.But above all he was stunningly handsome, so much so that even Riley, in all his extraordinary vanity, could see the difference between himself and the man in black. He felt a surge of envy go through him as he looked at him.
He watched, struck dumb, as the man in black drew Buffy into his arms and hugged her tight, whispering silent endearments in her hair. Buffy was shaking in his arms, her hands plunged deep into his hair, her face buried in his chest. Their lips met in a tender kiss as the man gently wiped the droplets of tears collecting around her eyes away. Suddenly recollecting Riley's presence, Buffy pulled back reluncantly.She turned to face him.....................
"DAMN IT!", Riley woke up with a jolt as the bell on the elevator went. If only things were as simple as he thought they would be all those months ago. But they couldn't be....not now. She had stood him up. HIM, Riley Finn. And she WOULD pay for it. A big price. Afterall, no girl, even a Slayer, can stand up Riley Finn, and get away with it.
I have so much to lose herein this lonely place, Tangled up in your embrace, and There's nothing I'd like better than to fall, But I fear I have nothing to give. Wind in time rapes to flower trembling on the vine, And nothing yields to shelter from above. They say tempation will destroy our love, The never-ending hunger, But I fear I have nothing to give. I fear I have nothing to give.