10 minutes later...............
Thank you for coming Mr. Jinn, please sit down.
Is there something wrong principle Bryon?
Well, you know your foster son Obi-Wan?
Well he's actually not my.........................yes.
Well, he had some trouble in class today.
Creak!
Obi-Wan!
Oh! Hi Qui-Gon! How are you?
Eeerrrg. don't ask.
OK! So principle Bryon! Why's my dad here?
I was just about to tell him what happened in school today.
Oh I see. Well Qui-Gon, I just want you to know that it was REALLY Dave's fault!
I see. You didn't have anything to do with it?
I uhhhhhhhh.................he started it.
Right. So what happened Principle?
10 minutes later...................
Obi-Wan!
Thanks for driving me home Qui-Gon! It makes being sent home from school seem less lonely!
Obi-Wan! Explain!
hehe well I ummmmmmm.......
yeah?
I uuuuuu.................sorry?
BEAP! Wrong! 'Sorry' doesn't cut it!
I was scared!
She's your math teacher!
I was sure she was an alien!
She was just trying to give you your homework!
No, no, no. She said, and I quote, 'So now I can shove some more homework down your throat.'
Obi-Wan, she was being funny.
It was NOT funny!
Well she didn't know that you had no sense of humor!
I found that love letter you wrote to Adi Gallia hilarious!
That WHAT?!
The love letter! You know, that letter about how you dream of her most every day and all that?
I was explaining a nightmare that I had that had her in it. I'd had three days in a row, and I thought she'd
find it funny!
So YOU have no sense of humor!
I do to!
No you don't!
Yes I DO!
Don't
Do
Don't!
Do!
Don't! Let's play a game!
Huh?
A game! I'll say a word, then you say something that rhymes or has to do with the word!
What?
Or you say it.
Say what?
Rut.
Huh?
Question.
Obi-Wan, not now.
Cow! come on! PLAY!
How?
Good job!
Obi-Wan!
School
Fool.
Math
Lets see..................Obi-Wan! You're trying to take me off the subject!
It worked!
No it didn't! Now explain yourself!
Well I'm a eleven-year-old Padawan, I'm very handsome, and my master's always giving me too much homework, and-
Explain what happened!
Oh..........well, she tried to shove my homework down my throat so I....................bit her on the nose. I really didn't mean to hurt her feelings!
What about her nose?
Well I figured she wouldn't mind.
Obi-Wan!
Well it WAS Dave's fault!
How do you mean?
It was his idea! To freak her out, I mean.
But YOU bit her on the nose!
yeah! See what terrible influence my classmates make on me? School is dangerous!
Obi-Wan, what am I going to do with you?
Take me to McDonalds sounds like a good idea!
Do you really think you deserve that?
Well--
Never mind, don't answer. I don't want to know.
..........................................so where are we going?
Home.
What are we going to do?
Nothing.
Oh goody! Can we watch TV and eat popcorn and chips and drink soda?
What?! You honestly think I'm going to treat you when you BIT your teacher?!
Only her nose!
That's NOT the point.
What is the point?
The point is, you're not permitted to have ANY fun, until you finish your homework, and promise to apologize to your teacher.
WHAT?! Apologize?!
Yes.
I'm too scared! I can't do that!
I'll go with you to make sure that you do.
But my friends will make fun of me!
Too bad.
*****
10 minutes later...................
I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I WON'T!
Yes you will!
But the humiliation!
Obi-Wan, I'm going with you, and I'll keep going with you, until you decide to apologize!
.....................................all right. I'll do it. But under protest. And I'll get even! You hear me? EVEN!
Fine. Do you want lunch?
Sure.............Can I make a new one?'
I told you, you're eating that peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
But on the way home from school, I SAT on it!
.......oh. Well, I guess so.
Yippee-
But no SODA, CHIPS OR PRESTELS!
Ohhhhhhhh! Your no fun.
Nope.
Later that evening................
Qui-Gon, I'm going to bed.
Good idea. If I have to watch one more episode of Squeaky the Space Rat, I'm gonna' be sick.
yeah, and I have to practice what I'm gonna' do tomorrow.
What are you gonna' do?
Oh, uuuuuuuuuuuuuu.......................apologize to my teacher, of coarse!
Uhuh. OK, goodnight.
Goodnight!
Next morning.................
Obi-Wan? Are you ready to go?
Yep!
OK, lets go get in the speeder.
Later on at school...........................
Okay, Obi-Wan, I'm going to sit in the desk next to you, so I can make sure that you go and apologize, but also that you behave.
Okay.
All right class! Our lesson today
See Qui-Gon? I told you Miss Rigna was an alien!
Obi-Wan, you DIDN'T tell me she was a Twilek!
Does that matter?
well it does when--
Excuse me. Mr. Jinn, correct?
yes?
I don't allow whispering in my class.
Oh, sorry.
That's quite all right. But remember, you got permission to sit in on the class so long as you are part of it. So I would also like you to get out your paper, and start writing.
I never said I was going to be part of your class, I only wanted to watch my pada- I mean my son.
Well, we sent you a letter saying that you would have to be part of the class if you were going to come, and you promptly sent it back with your signature saying that that would be fine. So, you have agreed to it. Now please get out your paper, and write down these equations.
Fine.
I will not have bad attitudes in my class. What do you say?
All right.
Such disrespect! What do you say to a teacher? Honestly! You're an adult! Surly you could set a good example!
Yes.................ma'am.
Very good. A little louder please.
Yes ma'am.
Thank you. Now, if you turn to page 236 in your math books......
Obi-Wan, I'm going to kill you.
Why?
Because YOU signed my name on that letter!
What? Do you think I would do that?
Yes.
I'm hurt.
Really.
yeah. Maybe I should rush me to the school nurse. Ya think?
No. I think that you should--
Mr. Jinn?
Yes ma'am?
Perhaps YOU would like to answer the equation.
Well I wasn't-
Listening?
NO! I was listening.
Good. So come up and finish the equation.
Good luck dad!
Shut up Obi-Wan!
What was that?
Nothing ma'am.
Oh good. So what do we do first?
Well you...........you add the...............and umm multiply...no divide by....the....umm.........
Mr. Jinn?
Yes?
I would like you to sit through recess, until you write the entire A B and C of the Encyclopedia.
But--
Sit down Mr. Jinn.
Yes ma'am.
An hour and a half later...............
Class dismissed. And don't forget tomorrow's assignment! Oh Mr. Jinn?
Yes?
Please sit down and start writing.
But--
All right Mr. Jinn?
all right but-
Good! Now here's the Encyclopedia.
Yes ma'am.
Bye dad.
Obi-Wan, you squirt, come here!
AAAAAAHHH! He's trying to kill me!
Mr. Jinn!
It's his fault I'm in this mess!
It's your own fault Mr. Jinn. I expected better behavior from someone as old as you. How old? 80? 90?
I'm only 60 you Creaton!
Mr. Jinn!
I never agreed to be in your crumby class!
Well, then you don't have to ever come back. You may go to class Obi-Wan dear.
Thank you teacher. Yipee!
I hate that snot.
You mean your son?
Yes. 'Obi-Wan dear' I believe he's called?
He's a sweet little boy.
A what?!
Mr. Jinn, just write.
Eeerrgg!
Five hours later.....................
I finished
Very good. You may go home now.
Thanks.
Later at home.................
Obi-Wan!!!!!!!!!!!!
what?
WHAT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT! I SPENT MY WHOLE DAY COPPYING BECAUSE OF YOU!
Oh that. Yes well, I told her I was sorry. Even in your absence.
OH! GEE! That makes it AAAAALLLLLLLLL better!
Whew! That's good!
I'm taking a nap!
Good idea.
And YOU are going to your room!
Rats.
At dinner.............
Qui-Gon?
What.
I even got to know my teacher. I asked her things about what she liked and didn't like. It was cool!
Oh.
I also got her help on the project for tomorrow. I did some research on it!
Fun.
Yeah. Well, goodnight!
Goodnight.
See ya bright and early!
Right.
Next morning...........................
Qui-Gon!
What?
Aren't you going to get up?
Why?
To eat breakfast, get dressed, grab your bag, make my lunch, and things like that!
Oh. Wait. Do what?
At breakfast.................
Qui-Gon, you should really get dressed.
Why?
So we can go!
Go where?
To school!
Take the bus.
But you have to go.
Why?- I am NOT going to your school!
Because I'm taking you for show and tell!
WHAT?!
In the speeder on the way to school...................
Did you get your bag?
Yes
Oh good. I have some stuff in there that might help with talking about you.
Joy.
I have all sorts of ideas about what I'll say about--
Tell me one thing. I'm not PART of this class this time, am I?
Just part of the assignment.
Good.
At school...........................
This is a hologram of what I brought to show and tell.
Amy!
Yes teacher?
That's a RONTO!
Yes! His name is Rupert. He's waiting outside. Shall I bring him in?
No! Dear, can't you tell us about Rupert's hologram instead of the real thing?
Well, I think that I'll just choose something else.
all right. Thank you. Now, lets see. Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Yes ma'am?
Would you like to go next?
Sure!
all right.
This is my Mas- father, Qui-Gon Jinn.
Oh yes! Welcome back Mr. Jinn.
Hello.
Where's that bag- ah! here it is! In this bag, are some things of his. First, this is his favorite stuffed animal, Fluff the purple dragon!
Obi-Wan!
It's okay Dad. I understand. And THESE are his favorite stripped PJs. Notice the brown stain down the front? That's from the chocolate he eats late at night. And this is his favorite storybook. 'Goldilocks and the Three Banthas!' And this- oh this is cute! This is a letter he wrote to Master Adi Gallia, but never had the heart to send. 'Dear Adi, Every time I think of your beautiful face, I just want to throw up with love. The thought of you is almost sickening, it's so beautiful. Sometimes I just wish I could go and just feast my eyes on the roast beef of your face. I'm glad you're in my life. If I couldn't see you every day , I might explode, or just get a really bad head cold. I love you my darling lemon drop! Your sweetie pie, Qui-Gon Jinn'
Pause
Obi-Wan
I think I can see WHY my Dad didn't want to send this to! Not very poetic. And last but not least-
Obi-Wan
Not now Dad, I'm almost done. His diary! Let's see. How about entry #243 'Dear diary, Sometimes Obi-Wan gets on my nerves. I wish I could chuck him over a bridge and..........................GROSS! OK, how about entry #254 'Dear diary, Obi-Wan's a royal pain today he......................ummm entry #345 'Dear diary, I am ready to kill Obi-Wan! He...................Entry #356 'Dear diary, Obi-Wan's the worst little snot I ever.................That's all I have teacher. Thank you.
Uuuh yes. Thank you Obi-Wan, and Mr. Jinn. You may sit down.
Later at home......................
Obi-Wan!!!!!!!!!
What now?
How COULD you?!
Rats. I was hoping that since you didn't say anything on the way home, you'd given up yelling at me.
I was so fuming that I was afraid that if I started yelling the speeder would catch on fire.
Really? Aww. I would've liked to see that.
That's not the point! How could you humiliate me like that?!
Well, I thought you might want to know what your dear old son went through every school morning.
Well I wasn't!
Here. Why don't you just sit down, and read the Daily Jedi. I'll make you some tea.
Huh?
I'm trying to be nice! It's the least I can do.
I guess so. Very well then, thank you.
No problem!
Hmm. I wonder if there's anything in the Daily Jedi's personal adds.............hmm 'I am a handsome older man with a beautiful house and a large income. I need a women who likes her job, and loves kids. I prefer a beautiful alien. ' hmmmmm. Obi-Wan?
Yeah?
Did you see the personal adds?
Yeah! Wasn't that funny with the lady who wanted a guy who loved meat loaf 'cause that's all she could cook? It was hilarious! Or the guy who turned out to be someone trying to sell his bantha through the-
I was looking at this guy.
Oh yeah. He sounds fun-loving, but what do you care?
Nothing. Thanks for the tea.
My pleasure! Can I stay up late?
Why?
I ummm want to finish my homework.
Oh. Well okay.
RRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG!
I'll get it!
Thanks Obi-Wan.
Hello?...........He's busy...............I'm sure!................I'll fax it to you..............okay.............sure!..........all right.....bye!
Who was that?
A friend. Can I use your fax machine?
Sure.
Thanks.
Later that evening.....................
Ding dong!
Obi-Wan? Who's at the door?
I'll get it!............hello? Yes! Come on in!
Obi-Wan? Who- Miss Rigna?!
Mr. Jinn! I read an add in the personal articles and- I called and someone faxed me your address- they said it was all right to-
That's quite al- Dad? Why are you staring at ME? It's not MY fault you put your personal article in there.
Well, I could go.
No stay! Dad's just nervous. Aren't you Dad?
Obi-Wan-
I think you two should go out to dinner! Ya! I'll watch the house, and you two can just go out. That sounds good! Here's your coat, Dad, and your already ready to go Miss Rigna, so go on out! Yes goodbye!
Bang!
Later that night..................
Qui-Gon! Your back! Did you have fun?
NO!!!!
oh. what happened?
WE SPENT THE WHOLE TIME IN A VERBAL CROSSFIRE!
I see.
Ya! Really! Oh good! Which MEANS, that since you understand, you'll understand why I'm going to KILL YOU!
Wait! Qui-Gon! Please! I can explain! I promise to be good! I promise to go to school! I won't play pranks on you! I'll be good! I WILL!
.................all right. Then you can START, by going to bed.
Yes sir!
Next morning.......................
thumpthumpthump
Obi-Wan?
What
It's time to get up and eat your oatmeal. You need to go to school.
.....................I'M SICK!
NO YOUR NOT! Now get up, and get ready for school!
Fine! But I'll get even, I tell you. EVEN!
fine- OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!!!
THE END :D
Yeah, I'm weird. But we all have a bit of that in us, don't we? ;)
Hope you liked it despite it's slight eh…peculiarity. :D
Namarie!
~Chloe