CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The sign outside The Bronze tonight reads "Closed for a private party." Inside there is a better-dressed crowd than the usual bunch that shows up for soft drinks and heavy innuendos. Amid the twinkling white holiday lights and garlands of shiny tinsel, a solitary pair is sharing their first public dance as a married couple. The man is dressed handsomely in an Armani tuxedo, the woman in an ivory, tea-length gown of a designer of no renown. It is something she chose because it was lovely and right for the occasion. The woman draws her hand along the recess of the man's prominent jaw, at length fingering his burgeoning bottom lip. She kisses him as the DJ plays a song that is sweetly familiar to them both.
Here were are now going to the Southside…"Hmm, perfect," is Buffy's only comment in the aftermath of the kiss.
"What, the kiss?" Spike asks.
"No, everything," she says, fanning her hand against his as her contentment nearly lifts her from the floor.
He smiles as the rings on her finger catch the ray of a blue spotlight from above. "My, you do look wonderful in platinum, darling."
"And so do you. But then again, you always have," she says, chiseling a finger through his straightened, gelled-back locks. He doesn't often wear his hair this way anymore and sometimes it's as though she's taking a trip back in time and seeing the old Spike. But the Spike of yesteryear wouldn't be holding her so close or looking at her with such deep affection. Nor would he have married her---twice, no less.
She leans in close to him, teasing him with the suggestion of a kiss before drawing away quickly. "Guess what? You're going to be sleeping with a married woman tonight."
"Got news for you, love. I've been sleeping with a married woman for six weeks now."
Buffy draws in a mock shocked breath. "Oh really? Does her husband know?"
"Yeah. And he's thrilled about it. Loves to watch, actually. Sometimes he even joins in. A right randy bastard, he is."
Tonight they are bound for Los Angeles where they will spend the evening at the Four Seasons. Their friends combined their resources and booked them a king study, not quite as nice as a suite, but at least up to Spike's specifications: a big bed, little sunshine and plenty of naked Buffy. They will be back in time to celebrate Christmas day with Dawn and Daniel, even if they will not share in that ritual of waking and finding presents under the tree. They're not worried about this: Dawn doesn't believe in Santa anymore and Daniel doesn't know who Santa is.
"Daniel was so sweet tonight," Buffy says.
"He was," Spike agrees.
"I thought at any minute he would start screaming his head off but he didn't. I looked over at him and it was like he was listening to every word." She catches a glimpse of her baby, dressed in an infant-sized sailor suit. Anya is holding him at the moment with Xander looking on, measuring his wife's maternal instincts. Anya looks perfectly at home with the child in her arms, but Daniel looks a little perplexed as though he is saying to himself, "I'm not money. Why do you find me so fascinating?"
"Buffy, I've never been so happy in all my life," Spike says. "And that's saying a lot. I've been around for a long time. But this…" Tears glisten in his eyes.
"I know," she says, thinking she's going to cry as well. She was so proud of herself, getting through the whole ceremony without leaking a single tear. Now she feels like she could use one of the tablecloths for a hanky and it still wouldn't be enough.
"I still am a bit disappointed that you didn't take my name," Spike says with a pronounced pout.
"And I would if Hogan were really your name, but it's not. It's the name of a TV character."
"But it's my name now. It was even on the invites."
"And you don't know how many people called me asking, 'Who the hell is William Hogan? I thought you were marrying Spike?'"
"I'm your William," he says. "You always call me that."
"Yes, William," she softens, seeing the hurt in his eyes. "Honey, it's just that, professionally, it makes sense to keep my maiden name. For now, maybe. Later, I might---
"Be Buffy Hogan?" he asks hopefully.
"I could be persuaded to do the name change," she says, tickling him under his chin. "Besides, I don't know what you're so worried about. I'm still your wife."
He is not shy about displaying the grin on his face. "Yes, you're my wife. Forever."
"Forever," she confirms, placing a quick kiss on his lips. She holds him tighter, letting her head fall on his shoulder. "Oh God, Spike. I never want to leave this spot. I just want it to be the two of us standing here until the end of the world. Which we'll fight, of course, and then there'll be another end of the world and we'll fight that too and then another and another. And after we've fought what we think will be our last one, the two of us will be so tired that we'll have to fall in a big bed and sleep together for about a thousand years."
The song has ended. It has been over for about two minutes, but no one has let them know. Now Buffy feels a slight tap on her shoulder. She spins around and finds Giles standing there, bashfully shifting his feet like a member of the junior high audio visual squad about to ask the prettiest girl at the sock hop for a dance.
"You mind if I cut in?" he asks.
"Sure!" Buffy says, swiftly shifting into Giles' arm.
Spike puts his hands on his hips and thinks, So much for forever. But having witnessed the levity of Giles' responsibility when the non-denominational Reverend Jim Moonbeam asked "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?", he cannot be too much of an ass. It took Giles a full minute to respond, "Her Watcher does," and he lifted Buffy's ivory veil and sweetly kissed her on her cheek before taking his seat. Buffy's Watcher spent the remainder of the ceremony looking as though he wished he had a veil as well to conceal the tears in his eyes.
"S'all right," Spike says. "I see a sister-in-law in desperate need of a dance." He kisses Buffy and relinquishes her to the care of her Watcher for the duration of the song.
To lead a better life I need my love to be here"This is more my style," Giles comments on the Beatles song playing from the "these go to eleven" amps.
"Really? Because it's one of Spike's favorites too," Buffy says.
Giles lips recess back into his face as though he is censoring a rejoinder.
"Come on, Giles," Buffy prods. "I know you've been dying to say something all night. You might as well say it now."
"And what might that be?" Giles asks innocently.
"Oh, about my marrying a vampire. And if you say that you saw it coming when I was in high school, I'll slap you silly."
Giles still has no lips. "It was a very nice ceremony."
"Giles, don't even try being diplomatic. I hate it when you're diplomatic."
"Buffy, I told you a long time ago that all you will get from me is my support and my respect. And, obviously, I support your decision to marry Spike or else I wouldn't be here. And my respect you've got for all time. You've saved the world too many times for me to be nit-picky over how you choose to live your life."
But still she needs to know what he really thinks. His feelings about Spike have no bearing on her affections for her husband, but she suspects there's something Giles is not telling her and she intends to drag it out on the dance floor.
"But you think I've made a bad decision," she ventures, biting her bottom lip.
"No," he says, taking in a breath. "Not necessarily."
"OK, Giles. If you were any more opaque, you'd be a cement wall. And I've been known to destroy cement walls."
Giles stiffens momentarily. "Buffy, do you really want to know what I think?"
"No. I want you to give me the Disney version on DVD with plenty of extras. Giles, I asked you to lie to me at one time, but I don't want that now. I want you to tell me the truth. You've been holding your tongue so long I'm surprised you haven't bitten it off."
His lips begin to emerge now. His eyes take on a paternal glow and he puts a hand to her cheek. "I think you've married someone who loves you. Someone who cares for you. Someone who will look after you long after I am gone. And that's a great comfort to me, in light of what I have to say to you." Giles lets his eyes fall to the floor, before realizing that he needs to look her straight in the eye when he says this. "Buffy, I'm going back to England."
Buffy instantly feels her lungs contract. Her breathing compromised, she eeks out, "What?"
He takes a breath. "I'm going back home."
Buffy lets her hands fall from his shoulders. "But you can't. Y-you're my Watcher! You have a sacred duty to fulfill!"
"Buffy, you're married now. You have a husband and a child. I have no place in your life."
"What the hell are you talking about? O-of course you have a place in my life! Always! I mean, just because I'm the first Slayer who's ever been married with a child doesn't mean that….Giles, you can't leave me! You can't! I need you!"
Giles shakes his head. "You're a mature woman. I've seen you through nearly seven years of your life, a record in Watcher lore. And I'm endlessly proud of you, Buffy. Your skill, your agility, your enviable one-liners in the face of mounting danger. You're the dream of every Watcher. I'll retire a happy man, knowing that you'll be the one to make it to retirement age as well."
This can't be true. Giles can't be saying good-bye to her. He wouldn't choose this place, her wedding, to tell her he was going away if he didn't think---
He was leaving her in good hands.
And now she has the moment in which she says to herself, "Ah."
I want her everywhere.
And if she's beside me I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
"If you had told me five years ago that you would be spending the rest of your years with Spike, I would have resigned from the Watcher's council and would have taken up a safer job, like coal mining or teaching English to tech prep students," Giles tells her. "But I think you've done with right thing, marrying the father of your child. You've been a good influence on Spike. If you hadn't come into his life, he probably would have continued to cut a swathe through the populace, maiming, torturing and killing victims at random. But you taught him something about humanity. You showed him that the lot of us, though we may be deceitful or licentious or Republicans, are worth saving." Giles takes a long, thoughtful look at his charge as he says, "Spike is a good man. And if he's become a good man, it's because of you."
Buffy looks to her left and finds Dawn giggling in Spike's arms. The night Spike was saved from being sacrificed, the three of them clung to each other, holding onto what they might have lost. When Dawn learned that Spike and Buffy were married to save the world, Dawn's first words were of congratulations and the next were of concern that the dream wedding she planned for her sister might not take place. Spike and Buffy have spent many days assuring Dawn that the bridesmaids' dresses she chose would be worn and that love doesn't always end in disaster. Looking at Dawn now, it appears that whatever she has suffered is forgotten as she and Spike snicker over one of their many private jokes. Buffy hears Dawn say, "Know him? He was delicious!" and she understands they are talking about a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode they watched together because this is something that breaks them up into giggles every time they are together and they always tell Buffy that she had to be there. Spike and Dawn share an unbreakable alliance and Buffy is continuously mystified that a nearly 130-year-old vampire could have that much in common with a barely sixteen-year-old girl. But whatever they have between them warms Buffy's heart.
As she is looking at them, Spike engages her eyes and smiles, mouthing the words, "I love you," which she repeats in the same manner.
"He was always a good man," Buffy tells her Watcher. "It just took us all a while to figure that out."
THE END