Suddenly there was a loud wump like the sound of raw meat being hit with a....
Motorcycle.
(A/N: don't worry, yami's are immortal! ^.^ *grins evilly* much fun!)
"Kendarath! What the hell are you doing?" Bakura demanded, effectively crotched on the front of the motorcycle. "And don't you need to see to drive this damn thing?"
"What? You need to see?" Rath asked, grinning maniacally.
Meanwhile, back with the hikaris Bakura decided that screaming wasn't going to do any good, that is, until he saw two familiar figures. "Joey! Tristan! Heeeelp!" Joey looked over and immediately recognized Ariel.
"Uh-oh, where she is there's alwa-" he didn't get a chance to say anything else before....
"Joey!"
Ari flew at him. Effectively knocking him to the ground, much like her midget counterpart. "Tristan! Gimme a hand!"
"Wait! Where there's two there's always-- wait! I'm safe!" Tristan proceeded to celebrate until Joey rudely interrupted him.
"Tristan you idiot! You're too ugly to have a fangirl! Of course you're safe! Now give me a hand!" At the word 'ugly' Tristan had proceeded to mope and Joey rolled his eyes at his stupid, ugly friend. "I'm sorry dude, I didn't mean it that way, just help me!"
The brown-haired boy grinned evilly, "You do realize that after this you're going to owe me big time."
"Yeah, yeah, just help!"
"Look guys! FGAM! (pronounced fuh-gam)"
"Aboo?" said Ari.
"Sounds like an acronym to me! Boo-bah-dah-boooo!" Ariel said, pausing in her purring.
"Well duh," Tristan said, "it's 'Free Graphic Anime Movies-" Tristan lost his audience before he got a chance to finish. "Ok guys, go! Go! GO!!" Tristan shouted as the trio ran into the apartment building.
"So where are we going?" Ryou asked as he straightened his shirt.
"I dunno," Tristan said as they ran into the elevator, "just pick one!"
Joey jammed a button and they all waited, listening to the porn music playing in the elevator. "Well, they've really changed their ways. Seto must own this place," Joey said as he read the above sentence.
"Joey you idiot!" Tristan exclaimed as he hit Joey over the head, "follow the plot!"
"Uh, sorry." He cleared his throat, "Well, they've really changed their ways. Seto must own this place," Joey said as he listened to the pornographic-elevator music. "Baow-chicka-wow-wow," he said doing a stupid little dance.
Ryou put his face in his hands, "what floor are we on?" he asked Tristan.
"Two."
"Baow-chicka-now-nah-now!"
"What floor did Joey pick?"
"Reminds me of Mai."
"Um, twelve."
"Bloody 'ell," Ryou said in a thick English accent.
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"Tristan lied! There isn't any FGAM here!"
"Well, what about Princess Mononononononokekekekekeke?" Ari said, having trouble pronouncing the words. Well, before being hit over the head by her hikari.
"It's Mononononono-- shut up."
"Mononoke," Rath said from the doorway.
"What? Rath?" Ari asked.
"I thought you were chasing Bakura!"
"I saw. I chased. I caught."
"Then where is he?"
"He got away," the dark spirit said, hanging her head.
"If he got away then what's that on your back wheel?"
"Oh! So that's where you were hiding!" she exclaimed going to her bike.
Bakura groaned as he worked his way out from under the motorcycle, "will I ever escape from this living hell?" he muttered to himself.
"Bakura!" he heard from two different people and tones at once. One was an
I'm-a-happy-fangirl-whose-about-to-glomp-the-object-of-my-fandom tone and the other was an
I-hate-your-guts-and-you-just-wait-I'm-going-to-kill-you-in-your-sleep-and-mount-your-head-on-a-stick tone of voice.
"Um, eep," Bakura said in a sarcastic tone as he turned tail and fled. Or at least he tried to until he was glomped by two figures. Well, one grabbed him around the ankles and the other jumped on his back and started beating the bloody shit out of his head. (A/N: any guesses about who this mysterious Bakura-Beater is?)
"Kendarath, stop glomping Bakura. Arientioth, stop beating him up." Ariel ordered, "we don't have time for this, we have a cousin to rescue!"
"Right," the two female yamis got off the third one.
"Wanna help?" Ari asked with a false smile.
"Uh...." Bakura said slowly before being knocked back down on his ass. "What'd you do that for?" he demanded as he stood back up. "Give me five good reasons why- oof," he said before crumpling up on the sidewalk.
"And that," Ariel said as she turned around, her fist still out in front of her, "is why it's good to be waist height."
"You crotched my Bakura-wura!" Rath exclaimed.
"Well so did you!"
"When?"
"On your motorcycle!" clap, "Geggita-geggita-UH!" Ari said whilst making thrusting motions.
"Thrust? Seto?" Ariel said, signaling the beginning of her 'dueling Duffman' rant.
"Oh sweet Osiris," Rath muttered, while rubbing her temples.
"Seto Kaiba THRUSTS in the direction of the Blue Eyes!" Ariel said, while thrusting on the capitals, "Shadi's green afro!" she exclaimed, causing Ari to stand on one leg and fling her limbs out in random directions, "my innocence!" she shouted out, perfectly imitating Mokuba's voice. "MOKUBA! I INSIST you DESIST at this MOMENT!" Ariel continued, thrusting ala Duffman style at all the capitalized words.
Rath shook her head, "Can we just go get my idiotic aibou now?" she asked while she mounted Corpse Rammer, making sure to step on the keeled over form, "And you make sure to go back to the ring, lest I cause you more harm." She told him, Bakura's eyes widened and he immediately disappeared back to the ring. Ari returned to the bracelet and Ariel jumped up behind Rath.
"I haven't gotten to ride the Corpse Rammer before, please don't hit any convicts or prostitutes this time," she begged the dark spirit.
"What! Prostitutes and convicts! I stick to the elderly!"
"Oh. Well then please don't hit any elderly prostitutes. Waiiit. Never mind. Do us all a favor!" Ariel said shuddering, her innocence slipping by the minute. (A/N: did she even start with any innocence? *thwack* don't hit the author!)
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After a ride around the block they stopped at the apartment across the street from the garage that Rath first picked Corpse Rammer up at. "But, we could have just went across the street!" Ariel exclaimed. "And now we've potentially lost Ryou!"
"No." Rath said simply looking up at the apartment building. "Get me Ari."
"Why, and why?"
"I've got a tracer on Bakura and we need a stunt double," Rath said, looking up at a twelfth floor balcony.
Ariel laughed evilly calling out her yami.
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Back to the elevator.
Ryou has slipped to a corner, Joey is still doing his pornographic-elevator music dance and Tristan, well, he's being Tristanish.
Ryou in the fetal position is muttering, "Make it stop, please make it stop. . . ." taking a peek at the floor number. Four.
//Can I kill him?// Bakura demanded of his hikari.
Ryou jumped, /When did you get back?/ he asked.
//When my manhood got threatened.//
/Do you even have any manhood?/
//Hey, remember what applies to me applies to you,// he said with an evil mental 'smile.'
/Well, at least I didn't get my balls cut off like someone did one time.../
//.............I was......drunk.....And how was I supposed to know that Arientioth would go that fa-//
/Okay, look, I don't want to go through it again. I may either spontaneously burst into laughter, or barf. Okay?/
//....Just be glad that whatever happens to me doesn't effect you.//
Ryou shook his head. /Yes. Considering the shit you get yourself into 24/7, I'm quite glad I'm the hikari./
//Shut up you little...........can I kill him?//
/Who? Joey? No. The inventor of the elevator porn music...........Knock yourself out./
Bakura pouted, //Can I torture him?//
/No./
//I won't hurt him...// Bakura said in a falsely sweet voice.
/No./ Ryou said, but he didn't sound quite as sure as the first time.
//Just a little bit?// there wasn't an answer from the hikari, who seemed to have decided to ignore his yami. //I'll just take that as a yes then,// Bakura muttered to himself and possessed Ryou for the moment....
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The dinging of the elevator reaching it's destination interrupted the pornographic-elevator music, "I swear it wasn't me! It was my yami. Honestly!" Ryou told Joey for the umpteenth time.
"Right, and there's whipped chicken in Delaware, my lad."
"Well, you never know. . ."
"Let's just pick an apartment guys," Tristan said, turning to a door, "this one." He ordered.
/Yami?/ Ryou asked his darker part.
//Yes?// Bakura asked, sounding very pleased with himself.
/Could you pick the-- Never mind./
//What?//
/The door was unlocked./
//Hah! What an idiot! Even you remember to lock your doors!//
/Hey. . . . Want me to hand you over to Joey?/
//Nah. You can explain it to him.//
Ryou growled and Tristan looked at him out of the corner of his eye before following Joey who was refusing to talk to Ryou. The trio heard a girl speaking about a Poo and a Tigger and tip-toed along to the first closet. Ryou then realized something, "What was your plan if someone was say, using the apartment we wanted to hide in?" The other two boys looked at Ryou questioningly. "Well, technically we're breaking and entering." Another pair of blank looks. "We could go to jail for this." Blink blink. "We could get arrested for this you morons!" He immediately clapped his hands over his mouth for yelling.
"Let me guess," Joey said sarcastically, "Your yami just took you over again."
"No, that was me all the way...." Ryou said through his hands as he walked to the closet.
"Sorry boys, I'm in this one."
"What?" Ryou asked, "is that Frodo Baggins?"
"Sure I know a Frodo Baggins," there's a pause, "Frodo Baggins!" Joey said, confusedly looking around before Tristan whacked him over the head. Amazingly the girl speaking of Tigger and Poo didn't seem to hear them.
"Um..." Ryou said as he backed out of the first closet and went to the second one, "That's not something you see every day," he muttered to himself as he entered the second closet.
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"Hey Ari? See anything?" Rath asked.
"Yeah, I think I scared Seto pretty bad. I think you better get up here."
"Fine, just give us a second," Rath acknowledged.
"Wah!" Ari exclaimed as she plummeted down onto the porch.
"Wait a minute." Ariel said as Rath pointed the staff at her. "What are you going to do with thaaaaaaaaaaaat!" the midget exclaimed as she got launched to the twelfth floor. "I'm going to wet myseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf. I'm afraid of Goddamn heights! But its kinda fun..." Ariel trailed off, before falling onto Ari.
"Ok, what next?" asked Ariel as she got off of her yami.
"Simple. We wait." Replied Ari as she dusted herself off. Sure enough, it wasn't long before the Millennium Staff in its compacted form flew over the edge of the balcony, narrowly missing Ariel and nailing Ari in the face.
"Shee?" Said Ari drunkenly as she got up whilst picking up the staff. "Why I otta..." she said as she staggered drunkenly over to the edge of the 'porch' (a/n: sorry about this. but this is the authoress's cuz. I know that the 'porch' should be 'balcony' but...) and-
"ARI! NO! You do not throw friends'/relatives' Millennium Items at them! DOWN GIRL!" Ariel scolded her yami as she relived Ari of the Staff.
"Ok," Ariel said to herself as she figured out how to work the Staff. "first, I push the 'eye' button," you-know-who said whilst pushing said Millennium eye button on the staff, causing it extend to full length. "And then I point it at Kendarath, and will her to levitate, then I move the staff and…" Ariel trailed off as she put Kendarath onto the balcony, and, well, you've figured out what happens next. "Come on Seto! Let us in!" Ari shouted.
"Aw, that's not how you phrase it. We wanna strike fear into his heart. Say it like this," Kendarath said quietly before shouting, "Yes, let us in, Cuddle-Bunny!"
The trio of girls then heard the sound of someone screaming, and the slamming of a sliding door.
Rath grinned evilly and opened the sliding door. (A/N: *szoon* *szoon* I'm wearing my cousin's headphones over my eyes. heeheeheeheehee, I look like Cyclops. That would by Alyia's cousin....)
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Kendra lay with a slight smile on her face as she listened to Seto's misadventures with her yami. And Ryou, Tristan and Joey, now that was hilarious. Kendra was sprawled lazily on Seto's bed, it wouldn't really matter to Rath whether her hikari was hiding on or under the bed so Kendra figured she might as well hide comfortably. Besides, she doubted that Seto'd ever slept under his bed…
"Kendra? Is that you?" Rath asked from the open doorway.
"No, it's Seto," she told her yami not even bothering to mask her voice.
"Reaaaaally..." Rath said slowly. "Since when did Seto have long hair, glasses, and breasts? Besides, he's in the closet with Joey, Tristan and Ryou."
In the background Kendra heard Ari say, "come now boys, it's time to come out of the closet."
Kendra stuck her tongue out in the general direction of her yami. Her yami walked over to where Kendra was staring at the ceiling. "Why'd you run away this time?" she demanded of her aibou.
Kendra cleared her throat and looked away. "You don't remember, do you? Fell asleep on the bus and forgot why you were mad?"
"Shut up."
"Don't be bitchy," Rath told her hikari, her temper rising.
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**Cousin induced Randomness *shakes her head sadly* **
Elsewhere....
"Come here Joey-poo! Is that you? Tristan, get your pointy hair out of here! Say aye if that sounded wrong."
Immediately four other voices said "aye!"
"There you are Ryou!" Ariel exclaimed.
"Argh! That's my head!"
"I know...." Ariel said evilly.
"Gulp." A pop sounded and there was a flash of golden light.
"I've got you now, Fangirl!"
"That's me Yami!"
"Oops, if that's you then-"
"There you are Ryou!" wack!
"That's it, it's time for me to fight back!" Joey exclaimed grabbing the nearest thing and winding up to punch it.
That's when the closet opened. "Ah! It burns!" was the collective reply.
"Are you guys finished making out in the closet 'cuz I'd like to go to bed now."
"Mokuba!?" was another collective reply. Then everyone looked around to see whom he or she was holding...
Bakura looked like he was trying to strangle his hikari from behind with one arm, whilst about to punch him with the other. Ryou was grasping at his yami's arm with both hands. Ariel had glomped Seto of who was knocked unconscious. Joey had Tristan by the front and was about to punch him and Ari was wrapped around Tristan's legs.
"Wait a minute, you're not Joey!" Ari exclaimed letting go of Tristan. Mokuba shook his head and went over to the other closet.
"And you, Frodo, get you and your friends out of here!"
"Aw," Frodo whined as he sulked out of the closet, the rest of the Fellowship following with hung heads in single file behind him. Along with Nazguls 2 & 6. Followed by Arwen's horse, random elf 265 and random elf 124. Next in line was random orc 3657 and random orc 1 who looked oddly like Bob the Builder. Next was random humans 5453, 6124, 666 who looked surprisingly like Ari and 1313 who looked maybe not so surprisingly like Kendarath. Plus the random horses 5, 6, and 7. And
Bill. And the Balrog. And Peter Jackson, Mr. Director-Dude. Arwen couldn't join the party because she was locked in Taiya's (another authoress) cellar.
"And you too Harry Potter!" Mokuba exclaimed. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger walked out of the closet, heads hung and looking disheveled.
"Wingadium Leviosa," Hermione muttered as she glared at Harry.
"And you!" King Arthur and the knights of the round table 'rode' out of the closet, with their servants banging two coconut halves together to make horse sounds.
"And you too San, Ashitaka. Out." A girl dressed in white with red marks under her eyes and a guy leading a red elk walked out of the closet, looking shame faced. Tristan saw the girl and whistled. The pair turned to glare at Tristan and the girl(San) made a pass at him with her spear. "There will be no killing in this apartment," Mokuba ordered. San looked disappointed and she and Ashitaka walked out after King Arthur.
"And you, Pink Fluffy Bunnies. Get lost!"
Arientioth immediately jumped onto the ceiling light fixture clawing helplessly at the air, "Get them away, get them away!"
As the last pink bunny hopped out he looked into the closet, "Anyone else in there? Yeah you, Bionicle guy. I don't care if you're the Toa of Fire. Get out! And take your blue friend with you!" Tahu and Gali shuffled out of the closet looking rather embarrassed. Closing the door resolutely Mokuba turned to face the crowd. "Now what have I told you about having random keg parties in our apartment! Get out!" The assortment of characters that had emerged from the seemingly small closet shuffled slowly out of the over-filled apartment. Random horse #5 making sure to leave a present on the carpet for them.
Mokuba skipped over to the finely wrapped box. "Oh thank-you! You remembered my birthday!"
"But it's not your birthday!" Seto said suddenly regaining consciousness.
"It was last week! Don't you remember anything? You don't love me anymore!"
"No, no Mokuba! It's not like that! What do you want? I'll get you anything you want!"
"Really?"
"Really."
"Well... I want.... (murder music)A shrubbery!"
"A shrubbery?" Seto asked.
"Ni!" Mokuba replied.
"I am a shrubber. Roger the Shrubber." Ari said suddenly.
"For Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth!" Legolas exclaimed appearing in the doorway and putting two fingers up to his face and waving them at the group like teeth. (Have you never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Shame on you!)
"What an eccentric performance," Ryou said as Legolas disappeared with a pop leaving a pink fluffy bunny in his place.
"Sheeeek!" Ari said as she incinerated the bunny with kerosine and a lighter.
"I'm inviting you all to my birthday party!" Mokuba suddenly exclaimed to the peoples in the apartment and closet.
"Mokuba!" Seto exclaimed.
"Seto!"
"Mokuba!"
"Seto!"
"Why! Are! You! Two! Shouting! Out! Each! Other's! Names! Like! A! Romance! Movie!?" Ari yelled.
"The party's in my room!" Mokuba shouted, "And you're all invited!"
"And there was much rejoicing!" Ari exclaimed jumping onto the table knocking down random objects.
"My antique laptop!"
The group look at Seto oddly as Ari picked up the wooden object and put it in it's proper spot. Then they let out a sarcastic cheer. "Yeay."
Suddenly a random downstairs person hit his ceiling with a broom, making a hollow sound reverberate throughout the room, "what's all the yelling about?"
"We're having a party!" Ari called.
"Oo! Am I invited?"
"Sure!" she called back. "You're all invited."
"Wait a minute," Seto interjected, "I know those people! They're Will and Grace!"
Suddenly a voice from Seto's room shouted out, "Bitch!" and Kendra stormed out of the room. Leaving an awkward silence.
"Well that certainly killed the moment," Ari said flatly and sarcastically and everyone made random noises of agreement.
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Authoress's Notes:
Kendra; Tah-dah! Chapter two as well, I was also thinking that something important was needing to be said: The only reason that this piece of shit is up on fanfiction is because Koolsnowball kept complaining that I wasn't posting it so here it is.
Koolsnowball; I feel so special.
Kendra; You should.
Koolsnowball; Hey… you're insults are at my expense!
Kendra; What tipped you off, genious?
Koolsnowball; Are you being sarcastic?
Kendra; Now why would I ever do a think like that?
Koolsnowball; *glares*
Kendra *glares*
Ryou; Read and Review
Koolsnowball; RYOU!! *glomps Ryou*
Ryou; Why me?
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Bakura; *looking at the word count* Wow, that's a lot of words for one chapter…