AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi again =) I think I'm updating a bit sooner now. I would
have updated even sooner, except the holidays have been really busy. Thanks
so much for those that reviewed. I think Trowa and Heero make a GREAT
couple!! I know! I hate it when people say that they wouldn't say anything
because they're both strong and silent types. They don't need to say much.
They can practically read each other's thoughts. =) okay, I'll stop before
I continue to obsess over why Trowa and Heero make such a good couple.
Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. I get lazy and don't edit too
carefully ^_^" hehehe. Oh, and I think this chapter might have some stuff
from Heero's POV and later chapters will DEFINITELY have some from his POV
(cuz he's my FAVE character).
DISCLAIMER: Sheesh, I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters or any anime show or any anime characters or anything that I would like to own (like GW, Escaflowne, Heero, Trowa, Van, Digimon, Tai, etc.) I wonder, is it even necessary to do a disclaimer every single time? Oh well, just go and read the fic =) and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!
New Beginnings By: Heero
Chapter 3: Hidden Emotions
Trowa's POV
I took care to keep my feelings for Heero hidden. It grew harder everyday, as I spent more time with him, travelling around Europe. It was torture watching Heero put his life in the hands of first Sylvia Noventa and then countless other members of the Noventa family. I stayed with him through it all. Neither of us said anything about my staying. An unspoken understanding passed between us. Heero would never openly admit to needing my help, but he would accept it, for a time that is. We would have parted soon after if it weren't for the battle in Antarctica. This battle worried me. Heero still wasn't in the condition to pilot a mobile suit in a battle. That would cause severe strain to his injured arm. Heero was always disregarding his own safety. Fortunately, Relena and then OZ enemies came along and Heero and I got away.
Soon after, Heero and I would be separated. Quatre had been piloting Wing Zero and wanted to destroy the colonies. Heero, once again being so selfless, persisted in going against Quatre even though he really stood no chance of beating him, in order to protect the colonies. For one second, time seemed to stop. I saw Quatre aim his beam cannon straight at Heero and I knew, in that one second, that Heero would die if he was hit. Without even thinking, I knew I had to protect him. It didn't matter what happened to me, he would be the world's hero and he already was mine. I threw myself in front of him, and I knew no more.
Heero's POV
I was stunned. No one had ever sacrificed their life to save mine. All my life, I had lived, following the rule of everyone for themselves. I couldn't trust anyone and I never let anyone close enough to me for them to trust me. However, Trowa had been slowly breaking through the outermost layer of my shell. He had saved my life so many times already and done so much for me without expecting anything in return. I still don't understand why he did it.
What's this? Why are my cheeks wet? Are these tears? I've never cried before, at least I can't remember ever crying before. But then again, I don't remember anything before training with Dr. J. Why would I cry though? Am I crying for Trowa? Why should I care what happens to him? This is a war. It's not surprising that he would die. It's highly probable that all us Gundam pilots will die before this war ends. That's who we are, expendable soldiers. It's the mission that matters, not us who complete them. And he even died at the hands of our "comrade," someone we should have been able to count on, at least a little. This just proves we can't trust anyone in this cold world.
We're alone. I'm alone. I'll always be alone. But Trowa's never let me down before. He has always been there for me. I might have been able to trust him eventually, even call him my first "friend." But fate has always been cruel, hasn't it? It's my destiny to fight alone. Goodbye Trowa, the only thing I can do now to thank you is to kill Quatre, avenge your death, and fulfill the mission.
******************************************** Weeks later
Heero's POV
I'm in the Sanq Kingdom now. I never killed Quatre, I was too weak. But I suppose I'm glad I didn't kill him. I now know he didn't mean to kill Trowa, but he still did, and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him or trust him. I often find myself deep in contemplation of the past few months. I've looked back on them with regret and a twinge of sadness? Trowa saved me and took care of me and I never even got the chance to thank him. Actually, I had plenty of chances to thank him, but I never did.
I've never been one to talk a lot. I especially am not used to thanking anybody. All my life, I've done things for myself, never trusting others, so I've never had anyone to thank. I think Trowa knows and understands this. We're very alike, Trowa and I. We're both quiet, not speaking unless necessary. During the time we stayed together, we've learned to communicate with each other with very few words. Also, we're both good at hiding ourselves. He hides behind his hair, masking himself with indifference. I hide behind my computer and my missions. I've only just realized this. I used to be so well at hiding my feelings that I hid them away from myself.
Only after Trowa died did I see myself. I hate the war. I hate fighting. I hate this life, the only one I've ever known. But it's dangerous to feel these emotions. This might endanger the damn mission. I'll continue to hide behind my mission reports and my Gundam until I finally complete my missions. When the world is free of Oz scum, I'll stop fighting and I'll leave, just fade away, unless I'm dead, which would be even better. The world doesn't need people like me, killers. I've never known another life, and I never will.
Trowa already died, damn lucky bastard. I tried to self-destruct and he saved my life. Then, when I could have died with honour, completing my mission, he jumped in and saved me again, sacrificing himself. Why am I thinking so much about Trowa anyways? I should look at that as an example, a mistake to learn from. Don't get close to anyone, they could turn on you at anytime, like Quatre did. I shouldn't have let Trowa get so close to me. Now I know, and I won't let anyone get close to me again. Mission accepted.
********************************************** Narrator's POV
Trowa tosses and turns in his bed at the circus, "Heero..".
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Eek!! I started this chapter awhile ago, but I got lazy and didn't finish it until now. I'm SOOO sorry about not updating (to those who actually read this fic and actually care). I've been busy with projects and exams, EWWWW. Well, exams will soon be over and then I can write more =) YAY!!!!! I'm hoping to actually get to after the war. I think that will be the next chapter =) I really hope you liked this chapter. Please REVIEW!! Constructive criticism, ideas, ANYTHING!!! Just PLEASE REVIEW =)
DISCLAIMER: Sheesh, I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters or any anime show or any anime characters or anything that I would like to own (like GW, Escaflowne, Heero, Trowa, Van, Digimon, Tai, etc.) I wonder, is it even necessary to do a disclaimer every single time? Oh well, just go and read the fic =) and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!
New Beginnings By: Heero
Chapter 3: Hidden Emotions
Trowa's POV
I took care to keep my feelings for Heero hidden. It grew harder everyday, as I spent more time with him, travelling around Europe. It was torture watching Heero put his life in the hands of first Sylvia Noventa and then countless other members of the Noventa family. I stayed with him through it all. Neither of us said anything about my staying. An unspoken understanding passed between us. Heero would never openly admit to needing my help, but he would accept it, for a time that is. We would have parted soon after if it weren't for the battle in Antarctica. This battle worried me. Heero still wasn't in the condition to pilot a mobile suit in a battle. That would cause severe strain to his injured arm. Heero was always disregarding his own safety. Fortunately, Relena and then OZ enemies came along and Heero and I got away.
Soon after, Heero and I would be separated. Quatre had been piloting Wing Zero and wanted to destroy the colonies. Heero, once again being so selfless, persisted in going against Quatre even though he really stood no chance of beating him, in order to protect the colonies. For one second, time seemed to stop. I saw Quatre aim his beam cannon straight at Heero and I knew, in that one second, that Heero would die if he was hit. Without even thinking, I knew I had to protect him. It didn't matter what happened to me, he would be the world's hero and he already was mine. I threw myself in front of him, and I knew no more.
Heero's POV
I was stunned. No one had ever sacrificed their life to save mine. All my life, I had lived, following the rule of everyone for themselves. I couldn't trust anyone and I never let anyone close enough to me for them to trust me. However, Trowa had been slowly breaking through the outermost layer of my shell. He had saved my life so many times already and done so much for me without expecting anything in return. I still don't understand why he did it.
What's this? Why are my cheeks wet? Are these tears? I've never cried before, at least I can't remember ever crying before. But then again, I don't remember anything before training with Dr. J. Why would I cry though? Am I crying for Trowa? Why should I care what happens to him? This is a war. It's not surprising that he would die. It's highly probable that all us Gundam pilots will die before this war ends. That's who we are, expendable soldiers. It's the mission that matters, not us who complete them. And he even died at the hands of our "comrade," someone we should have been able to count on, at least a little. This just proves we can't trust anyone in this cold world.
We're alone. I'm alone. I'll always be alone. But Trowa's never let me down before. He has always been there for me. I might have been able to trust him eventually, even call him my first "friend." But fate has always been cruel, hasn't it? It's my destiny to fight alone. Goodbye Trowa, the only thing I can do now to thank you is to kill Quatre, avenge your death, and fulfill the mission.
******************************************** Weeks later
Heero's POV
I'm in the Sanq Kingdom now. I never killed Quatre, I was too weak. But I suppose I'm glad I didn't kill him. I now know he didn't mean to kill Trowa, but he still did, and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him or trust him. I often find myself deep in contemplation of the past few months. I've looked back on them with regret and a twinge of sadness? Trowa saved me and took care of me and I never even got the chance to thank him. Actually, I had plenty of chances to thank him, but I never did.
I've never been one to talk a lot. I especially am not used to thanking anybody. All my life, I've done things for myself, never trusting others, so I've never had anyone to thank. I think Trowa knows and understands this. We're very alike, Trowa and I. We're both quiet, not speaking unless necessary. During the time we stayed together, we've learned to communicate with each other with very few words. Also, we're both good at hiding ourselves. He hides behind his hair, masking himself with indifference. I hide behind my computer and my missions. I've only just realized this. I used to be so well at hiding my feelings that I hid them away from myself.
Only after Trowa died did I see myself. I hate the war. I hate fighting. I hate this life, the only one I've ever known. But it's dangerous to feel these emotions. This might endanger the damn mission. I'll continue to hide behind my mission reports and my Gundam until I finally complete my missions. When the world is free of Oz scum, I'll stop fighting and I'll leave, just fade away, unless I'm dead, which would be even better. The world doesn't need people like me, killers. I've never known another life, and I never will.
Trowa already died, damn lucky bastard. I tried to self-destruct and he saved my life. Then, when I could have died with honour, completing my mission, he jumped in and saved me again, sacrificing himself. Why am I thinking so much about Trowa anyways? I should look at that as an example, a mistake to learn from. Don't get close to anyone, they could turn on you at anytime, like Quatre did. I shouldn't have let Trowa get so close to me. Now I know, and I won't let anyone get close to me again. Mission accepted.
********************************************** Narrator's POV
Trowa tosses and turns in his bed at the circus, "Heero..".
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Eek!! I started this chapter awhile ago, but I got lazy and didn't finish it until now. I'm SOOO sorry about not updating (to those who actually read this fic and actually care). I've been busy with projects and exams, EWWWW. Well, exams will soon be over and then I can write more =) YAY!!!!! I'm hoping to actually get to after the war. I think that will be the next chapter =) I really hope you liked this chapter. Please REVIEW!! Constructive criticism, ideas, ANYTHING!!! Just PLEASE REVIEW =)