Harry looked at Snape and his expression hardened.
"You bastard! This is some kind of sick joke to get back at my father, isn't it?"
Snape's eyes flashed angrily but Harry didn't care.
"He's dead now, why isn't that good enough? Why do you have to involve him in this?"
"10 points from Gryffindor, for talking back to a teacher." Snarled Snape. To his surprise, Harry laughed outright.
"That's all you are, Professor. Just a professor. After all, what sort of father would hate his son so much? What sort of father would victimise his family for four years and then suddenly expect the son to live with him? I'd rather live with the Dursleys than you!"
Seeing that Snape would probably explode if he opened his mouth, harry drew himself up to his full height and said: "I think that was all you wanted to say to me? Rest assured Dumbledore will be hearing of this conversation." And with that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, robes billowing behind him.
Snape was livid. How dare the boy talk like that to him? His mind whirled. Surely Potter. . .no! Snape! didn't honestly mean he would rather live with a family of abusive muggles than Snape?
Well, I would remarked his inner voice dolefully. Not feeling up to discussing the Potter Problem with anyone, let alone his deranged inner psyche, Snape snarled at it, and it subsided. To be quickly replaced by an equally annoying voice from outside the door.
"You told him, didn't you Severus?"
"Go away, Lupin."
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Ignore it externally and take it out on my students."
"You know that if you take all that out on students you'll end up in Azkaban?"
Snape rolled his eyes.
"Which part of 'Go away, Lupin' did you not understand?"
The annoying werewolf ignored him and sank into a chair, bouncing experimentally on the springs which emitted a squeak at the same time as Snape emitted an angry growl. Lupin desisted, but kept his eyes locked onto Snape's.
"What did he say?"
"He told me that he'd rather live with the Dursleys than with me." Replied Snape dully, unable to hide the disappointment from Lupin. Damn werewolf senses. Lupin winced.
"That's not good."
"Observant today, are we?"
They both fell into a brooding silence, Lupin looking at Snape who was regarding the flames of the flickering fire. At length Lupin spoke.
"You do realise that there is a class of first years waiting for you to begin your lesson, don't you?"
Snape groaned. "Tell them to go away. I want to drink poison."
Remus shook his head. "That won't help anything. Least of all Harry."
"Why should I give a damn about him? He is James through and through. There is nothing of me in him; it could as well have been a prank. He hates me, and I hate him, and that's the way it should. . .erk!"
Lupin smiled inwardly as he held Snape against the wall with one hand. Sirius and James would be so proud. He snarled at the potions master, "You just told him you were his biological father, were you expecting him to hug you and cry daddy onto his shoulder? Were you expecting him to forgive four years of hatred and misery? Didn't you even consider the fact that his world has just been turned upside down? He's modelled himself on James for as long as he can remember. And now you tell him, NOW! That he has a father, a father who has tormented him for so long? And expect everything to be fine?"
"Admirable sentiments, Remus" came a gently amused voice from behind Lupin, making the werewolf drop Snape who landed in a very undignified heap on the floor.
"Now, Severus, I have dismissed your class and I think it would be best for you to have a little chat with Remus. I am currently trying to calm Harry down, as he is a little distressed by what you told him. I also heard that you took House Points?"
There was a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as Snape flushed slightly and Lupin sighed loudly and rolled his eyes.
"You took House Points because your son hexed you for finding out you slept with his mother?" demanded Lupin. Snape looked baffled.
"He didn't hex me!"
"Patience of a saint, then" muttered Lupin darkly. "I would have."
****************************
Dumbledore sighed and looked at Harry. Right now he looked pale and frightened but his face was set and there was a mulish tilt to his jaw.
"Severus didn't mean to hurt you, Harry."
"I don't care. Professor Snape had no right to talk about my parents like that. He is implying that my mother is a slut!"
Dumbledore winced slightly. This was going to be hard.
"I'm sure he didn't mean that, Harry. He's as confused as you are, you know. . ."
Harry nodded, his eyes blank. They continued like this for a few minutes, until Dumbledore finally gave up.
"Well, Harry, if you ever need to talk, feel free to come here."
Harry nodded silently and walked out of the office.
*******************************
The next morning he flatly refused to go to potions. He went to all his other lessons, catching a few minutes sleep in History of Magic, and spilling magical compost on himself during Herbology, which gave him an excuse to go to the Infirmary. He pretended to sleep until past halfway through the Potions class when he went back up to the common room.
*******************************
Snape noticed Harry wasn't in potions. He hadn't been at breakfast either. Against his better judgement he went to the Infirmary but Harry wasn't there either, though Pomfrey reluctantly told him Harry had been in after Herbology but had just left.
That evening Snape arrived at dinner early and left late, but saw no sign of his son. He didn't turn up for any lessons the next day, and Snape overheard the Thomas boy saying softly that Harry wouldn't get up. He trailed Thomas and Finnigan and heard the Irish boy saying that harry hadn't eaten in nearly a week. His heart sank. What was the boy doing to himself? And what could Snape do?
Eventually he decided to ask the house elves in the kitchen to let him know when they delivered food to Harry. If in twenty-four hours he had heard nothing then he would go into the Gryffindor Rooms and try to talk to the boy.
****************** 24 hours later *****************
Snape swirled up to the Gryffindor common room, his customary glare on his face but excessive worry deep inside. Harry hadn't been to any lessons for two days and was apparently not eating either. At least he must be sleeping enough, he thought, trying to reassure himself.
All the other Gryffindors were in lessons, but from the Dormitory on the left Snape heard a deep sigh and an odd sounding thunk. He quietly opened the door and looked in. Harry had taken the concealing charms off and looked terrible. His head was bruised all around, his eyes red rimmed with huge dark circles carved in the flesh underneath, and his cheekbones could have cut cheese they jutted out so far. The source of the bruises was apparent as Harry seemed to be hitting his head firmly against the wall. With a cry Snape rushed forward and pulled Harry away from the wall.
"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" he demanded. Harry shrugged, his eyes unfocussed.
"I couldn't sleep."
Shocked, horrified, Snape reached out to touch Harry but the boy leaped away from him, eyes wild.
"Don't come near me!"
Snape's pain showed on his face for a fleeting second, and Harry felt a little guilty. But. . .even if Snape had only just found out, why had he never given Harry the link to his mother that he could have had through the years? How could he have loved Lily so much if he would put her only son through hell?
As though it was a great effort, Snape moved away slowly. Contrary to what people believed, he did have a caring side, one only his Slytherins saw in private and in desperate situations, and Harry was in such a bad state. . .
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, hardly daring to look into the bloodshot eyes.
"Yes. Leave me alone. Forget about me."
Snape shook his head. "I can't do that."
Harry laughed; a hollow, mirthless sound that made Snape think of a long black tunnel.
"Of course you can."
"Harry, if you don't let me help you in some way then I'll have to take you to Poppy - unconscious if I must."
Harry glared at him, looking surprisingly Snape-ish.
"I am going to bed to get some much needed rest, professor. I would appreciate it if you would just let me sleep."
Guarding his expression, Snape said "Would you like a Dreamless Sleep Potion? Or should I summon your friends?"
"No!" said Harry forcefully. "Just leave me alone!"
Unable to keep his tears back any longer, Harry turned away to stare at the wall. There was silence for a few moments, and he heard Snape's footsteps hesitantly come closer. Merlin, did this man have no idea when to leave him alone? He grew tenser as the man moved nearer, like s spring coiling up, until he felt a knot of raw magic curling at the bottom of his stomach. Desperately, he hissed "Get out!" through gritted teeth, trying to restrain his magic. Snape stopped dead, but Harry couldn't control his power, and he felt it explode out of him. There was a thump and a grunt, and then footsteps towards the door. When Snape had finally gone, Harry allowed himself to cry for the unfairness of it all.
****************************
Snape had been unhurt by the burst of raw magic that his son had emitted; in fact he had barely noticed it. He was in total shock of the complete change that had come over the once handsome boy. He couldn't believe someone could change so much in a matter of days, and he didn't know what to do. If he told Dumbledore then he would lose Harry's trust; not that he had it anyway, but what would happen to Harry if nobody found out? And why in Merlin's name hadn't anyone noticed? What were his friends playing at?
*******************************
Harry pulled the hangings round his bed and lay back, pinching the skin over his bony wrists absent mindedly. He supposed he had lost weight; but it didn't really seem to matter. Nothing did. He hadn't cared when Oliver had come to yell at him for missing Quidditch; he hadn't noticed when the older boy's eyes had looked sadly at him and then disappeared. He hadn't cared when Dean and Seamus had nagged at him to come to lessons, and when they'd brought him plates of food from the hall and then removed them that evening. His whole life suddenly had become fake; a lie. Everything he had believed in had suddenly disappeared, as though the very foundations of his life had crumbled and fallen into the black abyss otherwise known as 'being Snape's son'.
*******************************
"Miss Granger, where is Potter today?" asked Professor McGonagall resignedly.
"I am afraid I don't know, professor" said Hermione tonelessly. "Seamus and Dean might know."
Slightly puzzled, McGonagall whisked over to the two boys.
"Do you have any idea as to where Mr Potter might be?" she asked icily. Seeing their furtive glances at each other, she snapped "well, spit it out!"
Seamus shifted uneasily. "He won't get out of bed. I don't know why."
McGonagall drew herself up, lips pressed tightly together. "And there would, presumably, be a very good reason why nobody thought to tell me this?"
Both Dean and Seamus squirmed silently.
"Go and fetch him! Now! Tell him to come to my office."
Den disappeared in the blink of an eye, and ran up to the dormitory. "Harry! Harry! McGonagall wants to see you!"
"McGonagall can go screw herself" mumbled Harry from behind the curtains. Dean moved closer, opened the curtains, and almost screamed. Harry looked like a zombie, his hair long and greasy, his eyes sunken deep into the waxy skin of his face.
"Jesus, Harry, what happened to you?"
Harry shrugged listlessly, and Dean suddenly realised his friend was seriously ill.
"You need to see Pomfrey, Harry. You look terrible!"
Harry shrugged again, turning away from his roommate.
"I don't care" he whispered.
"I just don't care any more."
Ok, ok, I know it's short, but I'm having such a bad 2 weeks, don't know when I'll get around to updating, hopefully in under a week.
"You bastard! This is some kind of sick joke to get back at my father, isn't it?"
Snape's eyes flashed angrily but Harry didn't care.
"He's dead now, why isn't that good enough? Why do you have to involve him in this?"
"10 points from Gryffindor, for talking back to a teacher." Snarled Snape. To his surprise, Harry laughed outright.
"That's all you are, Professor. Just a professor. After all, what sort of father would hate his son so much? What sort of father would victimise his family for four years and then suddenly expect the son to live with him? I'd rather live with the Dursleys than you!"
Seeing that Snape would probably explode if he opened his mouth, harry drew himself up to his full height and said: "I think that was all you wanted to say to me? Rest assured Dumbledore will be hearing of this conversation." And with that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, robes billowing behind him.
Snape was livid. How dare the boy talk like that to him? His mind whirled. Surely Potter. . .no! Snape! didn't honestly mean he would rather live with a family of abusive muggles than Snape?
Well, I would remarked his inner voice dolefully. Not feeling up to discussing the Potter Problem with anyone, let alone his deranged inner psyche, Snape snarled at it, and it subsided. To be quickly replaced by an equally annoying voice from outside the door.
"You told him, didn't you Severus?"
"Go away, Lupin."
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Ignore it externally and take it out on my students."
"You know that if you take all that out on students you'll end up in Azkaban?"
Snape rolled his eyes.
"Which part of 'Go away, Lupin' did you not understand?"
The annoying werewolf ignored him and sank into a chair, bouncing experimentally on the springs which emitted a squeak at the same time as Snape emitted an angry growl. Lupin desisted, but kept his eyes locked onto Snape's.
"What did he say?"
"He told me that he'd rather live with the Dursleys than with me." Replied Snape dully, unable to hide the disappointment from Lupin. Damn werewolf senses. Lupin winced.
"That's not good."
"Observant today, are we?"
They both fell into a brooding silence, Lupin looking at Snape who was regarding the flames of the flickering fire. At length Lupin spoke.
"You do realise that there is a class of first years waiting for you to begin your lesson, don't you?"
Snape groaned. "Tell them to go away. I want to drink poison."
Remus shook his head. "That won't help anything. Least of all Harry."
"Why should I give a damn about him? He is James through and through. There is nothing of me in him; it could as well have been a prank. He hates me, and I hate him, and that's the way it should. . .erk!"
Lupin smiled inwardly as he held Snape against the wall with one hand. Sirius and James would be so proud. He snarled at the potions master, "You just told him you were his biological father, were you expecting him to hug you and cry daddy onto his shoulder? Were you expecting him to forgive four years of hatred and misery? Didn't you even consider the fact that his world has just been turned upside down? He's modelled himself on James for as long as he can remember. And now you tell him, NOW! That he has a father, a father who has tormented him for so long? And expect everything to be fine?"
"Admirable sentiments, Remus" came a gently amused voice from behind Lupin, making the werewolf drop Snape who landed in a very undignified heap on the floor.
"Now, Severus, I have dismissed your class and I think it would be best for you to have a little chat with Remus. I am currently trying to calm Harry down, as he is a little distressed by what you told him. I also heard that you took House Points?"
There was a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as Snape flushed slightly and Lupin sighed loudly and rolled his eyes.
"You took House Points because your son hexed you for finding out you slept with his mother?" demanded Lupin. Snape looked baffled.
"He didn't hex me!"
"Patience of a saint, then" muttered Lupin darkly. "I would have."
****************************
Dumbledore sighed and looked at Harry. Right now he looked pale and frightened but his face was set and there was a mulish tilt to his jaw.
"Severus didn't mean to hurt you, Harry."
"I don't care. Professor Snape had no right to talk about my parents like that. He is implying that my mother is a slut!"
Dumbledore winced slightly. This was going to be hard.
"I'm sure he didn't mean that, Harry. He's as confused as you are, you know. . ."
Harry nodded, his eyes blank. They continued like this for a few minutes, until Dumbledore finally gave up.
"Well, Harry, if you ever need to talk, feel free to come here."
Harry nodded silently and walked out of the office.
*******************************
The next morning he flatly refused to go to potions. He went to all his other lessons, catching a few minutes sleep in History of Magic, and spilling magical compost on himself during Herbology, which gave him an excuse to go to the Infirmary. He pretended to sleep until past halfway through the Potions class when he went back up to the common room.
*******************************
Snape noticed Harry wasn't in potions. He hadn't been at breakfast either. Against his better judgement he went to the Infirmary but Harry wasn't there either, though Pomfrey reluctantly told him Harry had been in after Herbology but had just left.
That evening Snape arrived at dinner early and left late, but saw no sign of his son. He didn't turn up for any lessons the next day, and Snape overheard the Thomas boy saying softly that Harry wouldn't get up. He trailed Thomas and Finnigan and heard the Irish boy saying that harry hadn't eaten in nearly a week. His heart sank. What was the boy doing to himself? And what could Snape do?
Eventually he decided to ask the house elves in the kitchen to let him know when they delivered food to Harry. If in twenty-four hours he had heard nothing then he would go into the Gryffindor Rooms and try to talk to the boy.
****************** 24 hours later *****************
Snape swirled up to the Gryffindor common room, his customary glare on his face but excessive worry deep inside. Harry hadn't been to any lessons for two days and was apparently not eating either. At least he must be sleeping enough, he thought, trying to reassure himself.
All the other Gryffindors were in lessons, but from the Dormitory on the left Snape heard a deep sigh and an odd sounding thunk. He quietly opened the door and looked in. Harry had taken the concealing charms off and looked terrible. His head was bruised all around, his eyes red rimmed with huge dark circles carved in the flesh underneath, and his cheekbones could have cut cheese they jutted out so far. The source of the bruises was apparent as Harry seemed to be hitting his head firmly against the wall. With a cry Snape rushed forward and pulled Harry away from the wall.
"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" he demanded. Harry shrugged, his eyes unfocussed.
"I couldn't sleep."
Shocked, horrified, Snape reached out to touch Harry but the boy leaped away from him, eyes wild.
"Don't come near me!"
Snape's pain showed on his face for a fleeting second, and Harry felt a little guilty. But. . .even if Snape had only just found out, why had he never given Harry the link to his mother that he could have had through the years? How could he have loved Lily so much if he would put her only son through hell?
As though it was a great effort, Snape moved away slowly. Contrary to what people believed, he did have a caring side, one only his Slytherins saw in private and in desperate situations, and Harry was in such a bad state. . .
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, hardly daring to look into the bloodshot eyes.
"Yes. Leave me alone. Forget about me."
Snape shook his head. "I can't do that."
Harry laughed; a hollow, mirthless sound that made Snape think of a long black tunnel.
"Of course you can."
"Harry, if you don't let me help you in some way then I'll have to take you to Poppy - unconscious if I must."
Harry glared at him, looking surprisingly Snape-ish.
"I am going to bed to get some much needed rest, professor. I would appreciate it if you would just let me sleep."
Guarding his expression, Snape said "Would you like a Dreamless Sleep Potion? Or should I summon your friends?"
"No!" said Harry forcefully. "Just leave me alone!"
Unable to keep his tears back any longer, Harry turned away to stare at the wall. There was silence for a few moments, and he heard Snape's footsteps hesitantly come closer. Merlin, did this man have no idea when to leave him alone? He grew tenser as the man moved nearer, like s spring coiling up, until he felt a knot of raw magic curling at the bottom of his stomach. Desperately, he hissed "Get out!" through gritted teeth, trying to restrain his magic. Snape stopped dead, but Harry couldn't control his power, and he felt it explode out of him. There was a thump and a grunt, and then footsteps towards the door. When Snape had finally gone, Harry allowed himself to cry for the unfairness of it all.
****************************
Snape had been unhurt by the burst of raw magic that his son had emitted; in fact he had barely noticed it. He was in total shock of the complete change that had come over the once handsome boy. He couldn't believe someone could change so much in a matter of days, and he didn't know what to do. If he told Dumbledore then he would lose Harry's trust; not that he had it anyway, but what would happen to Harry if nobody found out? And why in Merlin's name hadn't anyone noticed? What were his friends playing at?
*******************************
Harry pulled the hangings round his bed and lay back, pinching the skin over his bony wrists absent mindedly. He supposed he had lost weight; but it didn't really seem to matter. Nothing did. He hadn't cared when Oliver had come to yell at him for missing Quidditch; he hadn't noticed when the older boy's eyes had looked sadly at him and then disappeared. He hadn't cared when Dean and Seamus had nagged at him to come to lessons, and when they'd brought him plates of food from the hall and then removed them that evening. His whole life suddenly had become fake; a lie. Everything he had believed in had suddenly disappeared, as though the very foundations of his life had crumbled and fallen into the black abyss otherwise known as 'being Snape's son'.
*******************************
"Miss Granger, where is Potter today?" asked Professor McGonagall resignedly.
"I am afraid I don't know, professor" said Hermione tonelessly. "Seamus and Dean might know."
Slightly puzzled, McGonagall whisked over to the two boys.
"Do you have any idea as to where Mr Potter might be?" she asked icily. Seeing their furtive glances at each other, she snapped "well, spit it out!"
Seamus shifted uneasily. "He won't get out of bed. I don't know why."
McGonagall drew herself up, lips pressed tightly together. "And there would, presumably, be a very good reason why nobody thought to tell me this?"
Both Dean and Seamus squirmed silently.
"Go and fetch him! Now! Tell him to come to my office."
Den disappeared in the blink of an eye, and ran up to the dormitory. "Harry! Harry! McGonagall wants to see you!"
"McGonagall can go screw herself" mumbled Harry from behind the curtains. Dean moved closer, opened the curtains, and almost screamed. Harry looked like a zombie, his hair long and greasy, his eyes sunken deep into the waxy skin of his face.
"Jesus, Harry, what happened to you?"
Harry shrugged listlessly, and Dean suddenly realised his friend was seriously ill.
"You need to see Pomfrey, Harry. You look terrible!"
Harry shrugged again, turning away from his roommate.
"I don't care" he whispered.
"I just don't care any more."
Ok, ok, I know it's short, but I'm having such a bad 2 weeks, don't know when I'll get around to updating, hopefully in under a week.