Albus smiled beatifically at Harry.
"That was a very good effort, Harry. I must admit having seen your previous duels I was a little worried, but I do believe you have got the hang of this, wouldn't your agree Professor Flitwick?"
Flitwick nodded and squeaked his agreement.
"That was excellent, Harry. Now all you have to do is learn some more advanced hexes and curses, ones which can incapacitate and befuddle your opponent's mind. Like the one you cast on me, but there are stronger ones which you may need. . .in the future. . ."
"You mean if I even have to duel Voldemort or the Death Eaters?" Flitwick flinched and Dumbledore smiled approvingly.
"You have grown up a lot, Harry, and I'm sorry you have had to so quickly. You are quite right to be forthright. Always go for people's worst fears when you have found them."
"Yes, sir" said Harry. He felt like he couldn't contain his smile any more. "With all due respect, Professor Flitwick, you looked so funny when you thought you had long legs!"
Dumbledore began to chuckle. "Indeed, I believe we should practice that charm more frequently to keep us alert. Maybe I should make Severus believe he is very short and fat tomorrow. It could be quite amusing." Flitwick giggled again, but Harry's face fell at the mention of his father, and Dumbledore noticed.
"Harry. . .you cannot keep running from your worst fears. You will have to confront them soon. . ."
Harry nodded sombrely. He knew the headmaster was right, but he didn't know if he could face the rejection he was bound to get.
*****************************************
Draco felt a bit guilty. Snape still hadn't come out of his room and had missed breakfast. Carrying a few slices of toast with marmalade from the hall, he knocked timidly on the door. There was no response.
"Severus! I know you're in there! You can't just ignore him and me forever, you know, and if you don't come out Dumbledore will come looking for you. I know you're upset and everything but you can't just hide forever, you have to face. . ."
The door opened and Snape glared at him.
"When you are quite finished, Draco, I am not upset, I have already eaten my breakfast and WAS enjoying a book before you decided to try and break my door down."
Draco suddenly became very interested in the floor.
"I am not in the slightest concerned about Mr Potter. Now if that is all I would appreciate being allowed to continue preparing for my lessons. . ." He raised an eyebrow and Draco fled, having a very bad feeling about the way Snape had called his son a Potter.
Contrary to what he had said, Snape was disturbed. He had been adamant that he would only be Harry's father in birth even before Draco had talked to him the night before, and after their discussion he had barely slept thinking about it. But he was still determined that he was incapable of looking after a boy, however hard his life had been. It wouldn't help either of them, and it would be extremely dangerous to admit to having family with Voldemort on the rise. There was no way Snape was letting Harry go back to the muggles, but he decided that the boy could go to an orphanage until he had finished his schooling.
"I can be no father to him" me murmered, staring into the green flames dancing in the fireplace.
**************************************
That morning he was completely distracted. His head throbbed and ached constantly and he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. He didn't want to see Neville Longbottom in his first lesson of the day. Neville had been moved down a year in potions and Snape had been told very very grimly by Dumbledore in no uncertain terms that there would be serious trouble if he ever mentioned Neville's parents again. As a punishment, Snape now had to contend with Neville twice as often as normal (he was doing 4th and 5th year potions so he would actually pass). It didn't occur to him that on some days Neville had to cope with quadruple potions; he had to contend with quadruple Neville Longbottom.
Neville wasn't too happy about this either.
**************************************
"Come on, quickly, quickly. You will all fail this class if you do not hurry up and get your ingredients out!" snapped Snape, watching the 5th years coming in.
"Now, today you will be making Veritaserum, and those of you who actually do it correctly will be testing it after class. Unless, of course, you wish to spill out your innermost secrets to the whole class." He smirked nastily and the class shivered slightly.
"Well, what are you waiting for? The instructions are on the board. Get on with it!" Over the top of the noise, he said "Oh, and anyone who manages to complete this without any explosions or poisonous gases will be awarded ten points." The classes faces fell. If Snape was offering points, it must be a really hard potion. Harry however remained expressionless and began calmly chopping his Butternut roots into even pieces. As he chopped methodically he thought about the potion. It would be hard, undoubtedly. It would really depend on the consistency of the potion when it was brought to boil. Yes, the boiling would be a crucial stage. If the potion was too thin then it would overheat and explode, if it was too thick then it would not be heated thoroughly and when it was to be stirred again the cold and hot potions mixed together would react and emit nasty gases.
But how to get it the right consistency? He would need to add everything in perfect quantities and then. . .of course! The unicorn hair would need to be crushed so it penetrated the grindylow horn and made it expand which would make the whole texture right.
Proud of himself for figuring it out, Harry started adding ingredients to his cauldron. As he picked up the unicorn hair he started. It had the wrong feel; it was obviously not real. Odd. Then Harry realised what it was, and what it would do. Centaurs hairs were nothing like as easy to obtain as unicorn hair, though they looked pretty much the same. However centaur hair would cause very large explosions and was not a good thing to add to an already volatile potion.
Pansy Parkinson.
When she had found out that Draco wasn't a Death Eater and had no intention of becoming one, she had taken it upon herself to hate the Gryffindors. It was better in some ways as she was nothing like the wizard that Draco was, and therefore nobody was in any danger. However when she did things like this. . .the whole class could have been killed had Harry's potion exploded. With a sigh, he reached around and took one of Dean's genuine unicorn hairs and crushed it.
"Potter, why are you crushing that hair?" Demanded Snape lazily. Deciding to shock his father after the lesson, Harry said "Oh I'm sorry, professor, I wasn't thinking."
"Well concentrate then!" spat Snape and swirled off. In the background he heard Harry hissing at Seamus for another hair. Shame. He thought his son might at least have enough flair for potions to be able to at least follow the instructions on the board. The boys ingredients had been added in the wrong order and the potion was certainly a failure. But his head hurt too much to be bothered. Let them all blow themselves up, what did it matter.
Harry lifted a ladleful of his potion and regarded it as it splashed back into the cauldron. It was the right consistency but there was a slight cloudiness where the liquid should be completely clear. He needed to freeze it again. Ah! That was where everyone was going wrong. They were simply taking the heat away from the potion. Even if it was clear now it would solidify. Harry saw that he had to actually cast a freezing charm on his cauldron.
His wand emitted a few sparks and the cauldron froze, the potion clear and sparkling. Harry grinned happily into the bottom of it.
"What, pray tell, are you grinning so gormlessly at, Mr Potter?" enquired Snape silkily, making Harry jump away from him reflexively. The memory of Vernon had never left him.
"My potion, sir" said Harry as firmly as he could.
"Indeed?" Snape bent over the cauldron and let out a soft oath. Merlin damn the boy, he'd actually brewed Veritaserum! He straightened up, aware that the whole class was watching him with bated breath. What should he do? It was an unbelievable feat, but still. . .he couldn't bring himself to praise the boy who looked like James so much; his delicate features from Lily blunted by the arrogant Gryffindor's.
"Poorly brewed" he lied. "I suppose it might work, but it has been shoddily made." Harry's eyes flashed with anger, but he remained silent.
"Come and see me after dinner and you may test it."
*********************************
The day passed in a blur for both of them then. Harry was again virtually force-fed his dinner by Seamus and Dean and then it was time for him to meet Snape. He tapped nervously on the door and Snape glared at it.
"Come in"
Harry entered and stood in the shadows so that Snape couldn't see the apprehensive expression on his face.
"Drink" said Snape, holding out a vial of the potion Harry had brewed.
Harry drank it down and suddenly felt curiously light headed.
"What is your name?"
"I don't know"
"How old are you?"
"15"
"What is your favourite sport?"
"Quidditch"
"Do your relatives abuse you?"
"Yes"
"Who is your father?"
"James Potter"
"What is your greatest dream?"
"To have a family. To be loved. To belong."
Unable to stand it any longer, Snape waved Harry away roughly.
"Go!"
Harry went.
*************************************
He curled up on his bed crying bitter tears, refusing to speak to Dean or Seamus or anyone, ignoring the food left out for him. He didn't know or care how long it had been. His father had rejected him.
Oh yeah, he'd been expecting it. Of course he had. But that didn't make it hurt any less when it came. He had seen it in the man's eyes; felt it in his words. There was no hope in there.
With a groan, Harry turned over.
What was the point?
****************************
Snape ran his hands through his hair. Merlin, why did the boy make him feel so guilty? He believed Potter was his father but said he didn't know who he was. Was the boy clutching at straws?
Their words echoed through his mind.
"What is your greatest dream?"
"To have a family. To be loved. To belong."
They sounded like something Snape would have said himself when he was younger. He had never really felt like he had a family. His father had coerced him into joining the Death Eaters at a young age, seeing his son's aptitude for dark magic and potions in particular as a valuable asset. Severus' mother had been killed by Aurors when he was a young boy and he had grown up with a strong hatred of Aurors.
"To have a family. . .to be loved. . .to belong. . ."
"I can't give you that" murmered Snape to himself. "It is not in my power. I do not have the strength."
"To be loved. . .to be loved. . ."
"No! I cannot give you love!"
"To have a family. . .to be loved. . ."
Snape shook his head sharply, trying to dispel the voices.
"I cannot give that to him."
*************************************
"That was a very good effort, Harry. I must admit having seen your previous duels I was a little worried, but I do believe you have got the hang of this, wouldn't your agree Professor Flitwick?"
Flitwick nodded and squeaked his agreement.
"That was excellent, Harry. Now all you have to do is learn some more advanced hexes and curses, ones which can incapacitate and befuddle your opponent's mind. Like the one you cast on me, but there are stronger ones which you may need. . .in the future. . ."
"You mean if I even have to duel Voldemort or the Death Eaters?" Flitwick flinched and Dumbledore smiled approvingly.
"You have grown up a lot, Harry, and I'm sorry you have had to so quickly. You are quite right to be forthright. Always go for people's worst fears when you have found them."
"Yes, sir" said Harry. He felt like he couldn't contain his smile any more. "With all due respect, Professor Flitwick, you looked so funny when you thought you had long legs!"
Dumbledore began to chuckle. "Indeed, I believe we should practice that charm more frequently to keep us alert. Maybe I should make Severus believe he is very short and fat tomorrow. It could be quite amusing." Flitwick giggled again, but Harry's face fell at the mention of his father, and Dumbledore noticed.
"Harry. . .you cannot keep running from your worst fears. You will have to confront them soon. . ."
Harry nodded sombrely. He knew the headmaster was right, but he didn't know if he could face the rejection he was bound to get.
*****************************************
Draco felt a bit guilty. Snape still hadn't come out of his room and had missed breakfast. Carrying a few slices of toast with marmalade from the hall, he knocked timidly on the door. There was no response.
"Severus! I know you're in there! You can't just ignore him and me forever, you know, and if you don't come out Dumbledore will come looking for you. I know you're upset and everything but you can't just hide forever, you have to face. . ."
The door opened and Snape glared at him.
"When you are quite finished, Draco, I am not upset, I have already eaten my breakfast and WAS enjoying a book before you decided to try and break my door down."
Draco suddenly became very interested in the floor.
"I am not in the slightest concerned about Mr Potter. Now if that is all I would appreciate being allowed to continue preparing for my lessons. . ." He raised an eyebrow and Draco fled, having a very bad feeling about the way Snape had called his son a Potter.
Contrary to what he had said, Snape was disturbed. He had been adamant that he would only be Harry's father in birth even before Draco had talked to him the night before, and after their discussion he had barely slept thinking about it. But he was still determined that he was incapable of looking after a boy, however hard his life had been. It wouldn't help either of them, and it would be extremely dangerous to admit to having family with Voldemort on the rise. There was no way Snape was letting Harry go back to the muggles, but he decided that the boy could go to an orphanage until he had finished his schooling.
"I can be no father to him" me murmered, staring into the green flames dancing in the fireplace.
**************************************
That morning he was completely distracted. His head throbbed and ached constantly and he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. He didn't want to see Neville Longbottom in his first lesson of the day. Neville had been moved down a year in potions and Snape had been told very very grimly by Dumbledore in no uncertain terms that there would be serious trouble if he ever mentioned Neville's parents again. As a punishment, Snape now had to contend with Neville twice as often as normal (he was doing 4th and 5th year potions so he would actually pass). It didn't occur to him that on some days Neville had to cope with quadruple potions; he had to contend with quadruple Neville Longbottom.
Neville wasn't too happy about this either.
**************************************
"Come on, quickly, quickly. You will all fail this class if you do not hurry up and get your ingredients out!" snapped Snape, watching the 5th years coming in.
"Now, today you will be making Veritaserum, and those of you who actually do it correctly will be testing it after class. Unless, of course, you wish to spill out your innermost secrets to the whole class." He smirked nastily and the class shivered slightly.
"Well, what are you waiting for? The instructions are on the board. Get on with it!" Over the top of the noise, he said "Oh, and anyone who manages to complete this without any explosions or poisonous gases will be awarded ten points." The classes faces fell. If Snape was offering points, it must be a really hard potion. Harry however remained expressionless and began calmly chopping his Butternut roots into even pieces. As he chopped methodically he thought about the potion. It would be hard, undoubtedly. It would really depend on the consistency of the potion when it was brought to boil. Yes, the boiling would be a crucial stage. If the potion was too thin then it would overheat and explode, if it was too thick then it would not be heated thoroughly and when it was to be stirred again the cold and hot potions mixed together would react and emit nasty gases.
But how to get it the right consistency? He would need to add everything in perfect quantities and then. . .of course! The unicorn hair would need to be crushed so it penetrated the grindylow horn and made it expand which would make the whole texture right.
Proud of himself for figuring it out, Harry started adding ingredients to his cauldron. As he picked up the unicorn hair he started. It had the wrong feel; it was obviously not real. Odd. Then Harry realised what it was, and what it would do. Centaurs hairs were nothing like as easy to obtain as unicorn hair, though they looked pretty much the same. However centaur hair would cause very large explosions and was not a good thing to add to an already volatile potion.
Pansy Parkinson.
When she had found out that Draco wasn't a Death Eater and had no intention of becoming one, she had taken it upon herself to hate the Gryffindors. It was better in some ways as she was nothing like the wizard that Draco was, and therefore nobody was in any danger. However when she did things like this. . .the whole class could have been killed had Harry's potion exploded. With a sigh, he reached around and took one of Dean's genuine unicorn hairs and crushed it.
"Potter, why are you crushing that hair?" Demanded Snape lazily. Deciding to shock his father after the lesson, Harry said "Oh I'm sorry, professor, I wasn't thinking."
"Well concentrate then!" spat Snape and swirled off. In the background he heard Harry hissing at Seamus for another hair. Shame. He thought his son might at least have enough flair for potions to be able to at least follow the instructions on the board. The boys ingredients had been added in the wrong order and the potion was certainly a failure. But his head hurt too much to be bothered. Let them all blow themselves up, what did it matter.
Harry lifted a ladleful of his potion and regarded it as it splashed back into the cauldron. It was the right consistency but there was a slight cloudiness where the liquid should be completely clear. He needed to freeze it again. Ah! That was where everyone was going wrong. They were simply taking the heat away from the potion. Even if it was clear now it would solidify. Harry saw that he had to actually cast a freezing charm on his cauldron.
His wand emitted a few sparks and the cauldron froze, the potion clear and sparkling. Harry grinned happily into the bottom of it.
"What, pray tell, are you grinning so gormlessly at, Mr Potter?" enquired Snape silkily, making Harry jump away from him reflexively. The memory of Vernon had never left him.
"My potion, sir" said Harry as firmly as he could.
"Indeed?" Snape bent over the cauldron and let out a soft oath. Merlin damn the boy, he'd actually brewed Veritaserum! He straightened up, aware that the whole class was watching him with bated breath. What should he do? It was an unbelievable feat, but still. . .he couldn't bring himself to praise the boy who looked like James so much; his delicate features from Lily blunted by the arrogant Gryffindor's.
"Poorly brewed" he lied. "I suppose it might work, but it has been shoddily made." Harry's eyes flashed with anger, but he remained silent.
"Come and see me after dinner and you may test it."
*********************************
The day passed in a blur for both of them then. Harry was again virtually force-fed his dinner by Seamus and Dean and then it was time for him to meet Snape. He tapped nervously on the door and Snape glared at it.
"Come in"
Harry entered and stood in the shadows so that Snape couldn't see the apprehensive expression on his face.
"Drink" said Snape, holding out a vial of the potion Harry had brewed.
Harry drank it down and suddenly felt curiously light headed.
"What is your name?"
"I don't know"
"How old are you?"
"15"
"What is your favourite sport?"
"Quidditch"
"Do your relatives abuse you?"
"Yes"
"Who is your father?"
"James Potter"
"What is your greatest dream?"
"To have a family. To be loved. To belong."
Unable to stand it any longer, Snape waved Harry away roughly.
"Go!"
Harry went.
*************************************
He curled up on his bed crying bitter tears, refusing to speak to Dean or Seamus or anyone, ignoring the food left out for him. He didn't know or care how long it had been. His father had rejected him.
Oh yeah, he'd been expecting it. Of course he had. But that didn't make it hurt any less when it came. He had seen it in the man's eyes; felt it in his words. There was no hope in there.
With a groan, Harry turned over.
What was the point?
****************************
Snape ran his hands through his hair. Merlin, why did the boy make him feel so guilty? He believed Potter was his father but said he didn't know who he was. Was the boy clutching at straws?
Their words echoed through his mind.
"What is your greatest dream?"
"To have a family. To be loved. To belong."
They sounded like something Snape would have said himself when he was younger. He had never really felt like he had a family. His father had coerced him into joining the Death Eaters at a young age, seeing his son's aptitude for dark magic and potions in particular as a valuable asset. Severus' mother had been killed by Aurors when he was a young boy and he had grown up with a strong hatred of Aurors.
"To have a family. . .to be loved. . .to belong. . ."
"I can't give you that" murmered Snape to himself. "It is not in my power. I do not have the strength."
"To be loved. . .to be loved. . ."
"No! I cannot give you love!"
"To have a family. . .to be loved. . ."
Snape shook his head sharply, trying to dispel the voices.
"I cannot give that to him."
*************************************