ONLY HOPE

A/N: Hello! This is my first songfic for Rurouni Kenshin. It's actually the first time I wrote one and I really had no idea how it will turn out. Miraculously, the story's content seemed to forge itself together while I was writing it. The title, is of course, sung by Mandy Moore from the movie "A Walk To Remember" although I think there was already someone who sang this before. I really like this song for some abnormal reason… (.) Please tell me what you think, ne?

This takes place after the Kyoto arc where Kenshin and the others were resting in Aioya, recovering from their wounds during the battle. No spoilers in here.

Updates: Re-edited on 4 December 2005

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki and is NOT mine

There's a song that's inside of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again…

Kenshin could not sleep well. The scenes from his battle with Shishio continued to haunt his subconscious mind. Hot and fiery flames were all over… Strong and deafening blasts could be heard from the oil tanks…above all was Shishio's devilish laughter as he was consumed by the fire wrecked his mind.

Kenshin's head was moving from side to side and his jaws were tightly clenched together. Sweat was forming on his forehead and he had difficulty in breathing. He seemed like wanting to wake up but he couldn't. Kaoru was sleeping with her back on the wall. She heard Kenshin's faint gasps and cries. She opened her eyes and quickly but quietly went near him.

Kaoru looked worriedly at Kenshin's figure dimmed by the darkness. She heard the ticking of the clock and looked at at it which was partly illuminated by the moon through the window. She realized it was already half-past midnight. She returned her gaze to Kenshin and wiped-off his wet face with gentle hands.

"Shhh. . . It's all right, you're safe." Kaoru said to a sleeping Kenshin.

At that, Kenshin seemed to calm down a little but he still had his eyes shut uncomfortably though his breathing was rather better.

She caught a glance of Kenshin's X-scar. She sighed a heavy one. Her slender fingers traced it carefully and lovingly, guarding not to awaken him. She looked down at him.

"This has made you suffer for a long time. . . How do I? How do I make the pain go away?. . ." Kaoru whispered meekly.

She stopped tracing his scar and settled her palm on his pale cheek. Tears started to fall from her blue eyes. A teardrop fell unto Kenshin's neck, waking him unnoticed by Kaoru.

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again…

"Kaoru-dono. . ." Kenshin whispered while placing his hand weakly over her hand that was in his cheek.

"Why. . .are you crying?. . ." Kenshin said with a husky voice.

"Please. . .Don't cry. . .Please. . ." he quickly followed.

Kaoru deliberately dried her eyes with her other hand trying to hide her tears upon recognizing his presence. She smiled at him and said, "I'm fine, don't worry. . . It's alright. You should go back to sleep now, Kenshin."

Kenshin closed his eyes for a moment. He felt her hands trembling in his cheek. He tightened his hold and brought it near to his chest making Kaoru sit closer to him.

"You haven't slept yourself. . ." he said in low tones scrutinizing Kaoru's weary eyes.

"It's alright. . . At least I don't have wounds as bad as yours. . ." she said with a low giggle trying to conceal her troubled mind.

Kenshin couldn't do anything but to smile at that and he sighed a happy one.

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again

"But, I'm glad and thankful you are fine Kenshin. . ." she said in a cheerful voice. "I was really worried and----"

"You saved me. . ." Kenshin cut her off.

Kaoru was surprised from what she heard.

"Thank you. . .I owe my life to you Kaoru-dono" he continued.

Kaoru was in great wonder. She didn't understand what he was talking about and he seemed to notice it.

"When Shishio held me by the neck, I knew I was going to die. . .But, you appeared in my mind. . ." Kenshin gulped trying to find his words. "you were crying for me. . . You reminded me of my promise that---"

"We shall go back home together. . ." this time Kaoru cut him off, her eyes closed while saying those words.

That promise gave me back my strength to fight back. You helped me. . .Kenshin said to his mind.

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me all the plans that you have for me over and over again…

"I was so worried about you. . .I thought, I thought I'd never see you again. . ." Kaoru gradually said.

"When you left that night, I felt as if I wanted to disappear. . ." She said unceasingly trying to fight the coming tears.

Kenshin could feel Kaoru's sadness and frustrations eagerly coming out of her. He wanted to comfort her and tell her she was the reason why he fought to come back. He clasped her hand tighter feeling her warmth joining his own.

"I was afraid Kenshin. . ." Kaoru started to sob.

"So afraid that you wouldn't. . .couldn't come back. . .Afraid that, you'll never come back. . ." It was hardly heard but Kenshin heard it strong. So strong that it him right in the middle of his soul.

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours I know now you're my only hope…

"I can not die. . .There's still somebody who is waiting for my return. . ." Kenshin said in a rather audible and strong voice.

Kaoru was astonished. What was he saying?

"I said those words when I felt my life draining away during the fight." He said looking up at the ceiling.

"Kaoru-dono, I came back for you…I promised, remember?" He simply said with all his emotions embalmed within it. He took his eyes off the ceiling and laid them back onto Kaoru.

Kaoru was dumbfounded. How could have been she pessimistic and faithless? Kenshin came back…For me…For all of us…

"I'm very sorry" she bowed low to him. "I'm sorry if I had been so weak…"

"You are mistaken." Kenshin replied in amazement. "There is no need to say sorry for, Kaoru-dono" He said with a smile on his lips. You are the strongest person I know. . .

There was silence for a moment and the breeze gently came in. Kenshin flinched a little, and Kaoru quickly and all knowingly raised the covers up to his chin making sure he was warm enough.

I give you my destiny

I'm giving you all of me

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am…

"Is that okay?" Kaoru asked patting the covers.

"Yes. Thank you" Kenshin retorted in a soothing voice.

"You should go back to sleep now" Kaoru implied looking at the clock. "It has almost been an hour. . ."

"It will not be good for you if you don't have enough sleep." She continued while getting ready to get up from where she was sitting.

At the top of my lungs

I'm giving it back. . .

Kenshin was really touched at how Kaoru was giving him attention. He wished to hold her and let her feel all of his gratitude and love for what she was doing and what she has done for him.

Before she could move her legs up, Kenshin pulled at her hand getting her attention.

"Hm? Anything you want Kenshin?" she asked.

"Please don't make yourself suffer from sleeping with your back on the wall, Kaoru-dono" Kenshin said with such a warm tone and look.

"I'll be doing fine. Do not mind it that much" She retorted with a faint smile.

Kenshin focused all his efforts into moving so there was just a proper amount of place for someone to lie into.

"What did you that for? You'll open your wounds!" Kaoru exclaimed in concern.

"Please, stay here...with me" Kenshin said not minding her cross look. "You'll be able to sleep better lying than sitting" He continued vigilantly looking at her.

Kaoru's frown faded and she was about to open her mouth to protest when Kenshin said, "I will sleep better if you are with me… I'm not telling you to do it, I am requesting you to do it. . ." Kenshin's garnet eyes were pleading.

Kaoru sighed looking at him.

"What if I hit your wounds or I unintentionally thump you over? Your sleep will surely be disturbed" her stubbornness reflected in her words.

"I won't mind. . .With you here, you will not have to worry about me anymore, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin explained with such willingness.

Kenshin then removed the covers and held out his bandaged-hand to Kaoru. She took it and Kenshin nodded in return.

As soon as Kaoru laid down, he pulled the blanket back up and looked at her saying, "Sleep well, Kaoru-dono."

"You too, Kenshin" she returned and closed her eyes and then quickly fell into a deep slumber minutes later.

Kenshin watched her sleep soundlessly. All signs of sadness gone in her face. It was then that he realized that her hand was still enclosed in his. A peaceful smile crept upon his lips. He closed his eyes and he slept too, not letting go of Kaoru's hand.

Kaoru-dono...

So I lay my hand back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours I know now you're my only hope…

Owari