She wasn't sure how long she remained that way until she felt another presence sit beside her. Rory looked up expecting to see Dean but then smelt the cigarette and realized it was Jess.
"Hey puffy eyed."
"Do I look that bad?"
"Put it this way, you look good for someone who has just bawled their eyes out."
"I didn't bawl my eyes out."
"Yeah and I have no arms and legs."
"It was more like sobbing. Life right now isn't exactly perfect." Rory tapped her fingers on
the wooden porch.
"Who said life was perfect? Everyone has his or her fair share of problems. In my case, happens 24/7. Can't remember if I had no problems for just one day."
"Your problems aren't as big as the one I have." Rory sighed. "Not wanting to sound selfish and stuff," Rory added.
"Wanna bet?"
"I'm pregnant." Rory blurted out.
'I can't believe I just told Jess…that actually felt really good in a peculiar way.'
She turned to look at Jess; he looked as if he had been petrified into stone.
He coughed. "That was unexpected."
He let out a big breath as he turned away from Rory. He took out a cigarette and was about to light it when he realised that there was a pregnant girl next to him, he put it back in his pocket.
"So, are you going to keep it or abort it?"
He looked at her sternly as he asked her.
"Abort? Well I have to admit it did cross my mind once. But if I did abort, I don't think I'll be able to live with myself."
"Lots of people abort."
"So? I think it would be extremely selfish of me if I did abort. The fact that I didn't give this…embryo the chance to experience the wonders of this world."
"I don't exactly call wars and poverty wonders of the world. What about Chilton? What about Harvard? Or becoming a journalist?"
"I think I can still do those things. It's just going to take extra longer. Life's about making sacrifices right?"
"Right." Jess agreed. He avoided her gaze, looking ahead.
"I lied." Jess spoke out.
"You lied? About what?" Rory asked.
"I did like you," he paused, "a lot. I might even right now."
"You've never done this before, have you?"
"Am I that bad?"
Rory managed a smile and lightly pecked him near the lips.
"Thankyou for your honesty."
"Uh, you're welcome."
'This is the Jess that I know.' Rory thought.
"You know, if you tell anybody about what I said, I'll simply deny it."
"OK, Mr 'I need to be ruthless'" Rory chuckled.
She wasn't in love with Jess. Full stop. She did love him though in a platonic manner. And the last thing she wanted was to hurt Jess more then she probably has already.
"You do know that we cannot be more then friends." Rory added.
"I know." Jess sadly replied. "But the offer of friendship is better then nothing." He looked at Rory.
"You want to shake on that agreement?" Rory held out her hand and Jess reluctantly took it.
"You don't seem happy." Rory observed.
"Well, I just got rejected by a girl that I actually felt for. No biggy." Jess lightly replied.
Rory's lips trembled and she began to cry.
"Rory, I didn't mean to make you cry." Jess held out his arms, embracing Rory.
"I-have-to-be-such-a-horrible-person." Rory stuttered.
"You're not. Don't be so hard on yourself." He whispered.
Rory let go.
Jess smiled as he reached out and wiped away a tear from Rory's cheek.
"I'm sorry for the outburst. I've been crying so much lately I can't remember the last time my nose wasn't blocked."
He chuckled.
"It's understandable, you've been knocked up…if you don't mind me asking, by whom?" Jess asked.
"I'd rather not say."
"You that mad at him?"
"No. He doesn't even know. If it makes you feel better, I haven't told anyone, not even my mom." Rory smacked her forehead. "Which reminds me, she's waiting for me inside."
"You better go. You have a lot to talk about."
Rory smiled before she gave Jess a kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"I feel a whole lot better after talking to you. I think you should consider psychiatry as a profession. You'll make lots of money."
"I'll think about it."
"Bye Jess." She stood then walked to the front door.
As she was about to go inside, she turned around to find that Jess had already gone.
****
Lorelai sat in the kitchen deep in thought. She didn't notice Rory come in and plop onto the seat across for her.
"Mom?"
Snapping out of her reverie she looked up at Rory.
"Chinese should be here in about half an hour."
"Good, I'm hungry."
There was an uncomfortable silence as Lorelai watched Rory. Rory's eyes were still puffy and red. She'd sniff at regular intervals. The last time she cried like this was when she first broke up with Dean.
"Mom? I've been meaning to ask you something."
"What is it?" Lorelai asked.
"How do you feel about this? And I need you to be honest."
"Well… One of my goals in life was to have you not repeat my wild teenage years. But it's comforting to know that this is only 20% of what I did. I don't think you have enough time to do all the other things before you turn twen…"
"Mom, be serious" Rory cut in.
"I'm not exactly pleased." Lorelai blurted.
Rory slowly nodded.
"But, I don't want to be like Emily and shut you out. And as my duty as a mother I will support you through this and afterwards. I want to make it clear I am here for you Rory, you're not going to go through this alone."
"Well said speech."
Lorelai beamed. "I've been rehearsing it while I was waiting for you."
Rory chuckled.
"Rory I want to know how you feel about this. And what you plan to do."
"I want to keep the baby mom, and I still want to graduate and then go to college. Sounds impossible but I still want to try."
"But how do you feel?"
"Remember the time I skipped school and went to New York, missing out on your graduation ceremony? Multiply that by infinity and that's how I feel about this. Mom, ever since I….you know… I feel I'm living someone else's life. This is not me. This was all too surreal. It's only now when I told you; this has actually begun to really sink in. When I first took a pregnancy test and it came positive, I went through another eight just to be sure."
Rory took a deep breath. "I'm really scared and I feel I have disappointed you. But, I do feel excited and anxious too."
Rory rested her chin on the table, looking up at Lorelai.
"Am I contradicting myself?"
"Feeling scared is natural. I bet Neil Armstrong was scared when he was about to go walking and jumping on the moon."
"And what does that have to do with being pregnant?"
"Dunno. I watched Armageddon last night."
"How is Ben by the way?" Rory asked, chuckling softly.
"Engaged to Jennifer Lopez. I wonder what does she have that I don't?" Lorelai pouted.
"A full figured derrière, plus a large bank account. That's only through observation and common knowledge."
Lorelai laughed.
"Rory I can't lie and tell you I'm not at all disappointed in you. You can't hold it against me, I am a human who happens to be a mom."
"I know." Rory quietly agreed.
"If you are interested, I'm only half disappointed in you. Only this much," Lorelai spaced her thumb and pointer half an inch apart, "compared to this." She spaced her two fingers an inch.
Rory meekly smiled as she tried to stifle a yawn.
"I'm going to take a nap, can you wake me up when the food comes?"
"Sure."
Rory got up and headed to her bedroom. Once she got inside, she shut the door and kicked off her shoes as she dived under the covers of her bed. After getting comfortable, she closed her eyes and she began to dream of one of the reasons why this was happening in the first place.
- - - -
A/N: Very boring filler in chapter, next chapter should be a flashback and hopefully more interesting than this.
It has occurred to me that teenage pregnancy is a pretty controversial issue and many people have different opinions of whether it's right for a girl to abort or keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I don't believe in abortion, I've been brought up with the idea that it isn't right and it is against my beliefs. I also am aware that there are people in this world that find abortion acceptable and I respect your opinion. Just wanted to clarify things, hope I didn't scare or offend you.
I want to thankyou for the encouraging feedback. And I also want to apologise for the long wait. Please review and I will get chapter 5 out as soon as I can. Thanks!