~~~===~~~
Prologue
~~~===~~~
I was sitting with Sean Colbroon, my second-in-command, outside the royal chambers, playing chess when it happened.
"Knight takes Rook," I said. "You really should be more careful, Sean." The younger soldier smiled wryly as he moved his bishop into place.
"Checkmate, Captain." I stared at the board in disbelief, then laughed and clapped Sean on the shoulder.
"Good game, boy. Completely missed that one." Just then, Rosa's cry came from the royal chambers. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but looked towards the doors uneasily. Sean just cracked a lopsided grin.
"Guess they're working on producing an heir, eh Captain?" Sean's grin disappeared and his eyes grew wide as the tip of my lance, once resting against the wall, was suddenly resting against his throat. "Sorry, Captain." I sat down with a sigh. The nightmares again, I knew.
"That wasn't a happy sound, Sean. Trust me, I heard those often enough from them, before the business with the Crystals." Nearly tore me apart every time, too, but it wasn't as bad as her screams now.
"Is something wrong in there," Sean asked.
"Nothing we can fix, I'm afraid. You keep an eye on things here, Sean. I'm going to go get a few things for her Highness."
"Sure thing, Captain." Sean watched the door uneasily as I walked towards my quarters.
I don't know why I stayed there as long as I did, honestly. On the nights she screamed, I knew that I was the reason why - that my weakness had allowed those nightmares to happen to her. On the nights she didn't, I knew that I was the reason for that too - that she'd never been able to let Cecil - or any man - do more than touch her that way since the horrors of the Tower of Zot. And quite possibly never would. Hell, Rydia'd have an easier time bedding Rosa after that, probably. That bastard Golbez had seen to it that she'd never be able to be that close to anyone again - makes me think he knew she'd be rescued, for all his talk about killing her once he had the Crystal, and for all that he came too damned close to pulling it off.
I picked up the teapot that I kept in my room, and built a small fire in the stove, heating the water for the medicine Rosa's mother had made since then. It meant she could sleep, at least, without the nightmares. Rosa always tried to get rid of it, but between Cecil and I we kept enough around to be sure that there was always some hidden somewhere when it was needed. I always claimed to be the one who'd hidden it, even if Cecil had to tell me where to find it - that way she was mad at me instead of him. If she could even stay mad at him for more than a few hours. Usually forgave me the next day, when she realized what it was like to actually get some sleep that wasn't interrupted by a screaming fit, or spent tossing and turning in her husband's arms.
God, those words still hurt like hell. At least before I'd had a chance, but now - even if Cecil was killed, and she survived both whatever killed him, and her own grief, I couldn't bring myself to make a move. Not with what I've learned about myself since I first fell in love with her. The side of me that Golbez released - the side that wanted to.no, can't think about that right now. Right now, she needs the medicine, and I've got to make it for her. There, that should do it, now, to take it to her room.
Their room..
Damn it, Kain, stop thinking like that! It doesn't help anything. He's got her, he deserves her, and even if she'd ever loved you as more than a friend, maybe a brother, you blew that when you stopped fighting.
I'm still torn just thinking about it. Thinking about how I let them take her time and again. They'd have killed me if I'd tried to stop them, even if I could have fought against Golbez's spell, or the dark side of me that was released by it. The punishments he'd let Valvalis inflict on me would have seemed child's play, compared to what he would have done to me if I'd defied him openly. But at least I'd have tried. And I wouldn't have to watch her suffer like this.
Sean greeted me as I walked in, having calmed down after Rosa's first scream. Watching him, I knew it was time to let him take charge.
"Go on, Sean. Get some sleep - nothing else will happen tonight, and you'll need the rest." He looked at me for a moment, unsure of whether or not his ears deceived him, but apparently decided that I knew what I was talking about.
"All right, Captain. See you tomorrow." He walked out as I approached the door. I remember thinking how surprised he'd be in the morning, when Cecil gave him command of the guards officially. I knocked quietly on the door. They'd have excused me if I'd just walked in, but I had my reasons. If nothing else, I still can't accept the off chance that I'd walk in and catch Rosa in anything less than her nightclothes.
The door opened and I was greeted by the vision of beauty that was the Queen of Baron. She'd taken well to the role, better than Cecil had to be honest.
"I have some of your mother's tea for you, Highness."
"Kain, I thought I had the servants get rid of that," she said, anger tingeing her voice. She insisted that there was nothing wrong with her that her magic couldn't fix, but we all knew the truth - no White Mage knew any magic that would help her sleep, and the Black Mages had to admit that the only way their spells would work for more than a few minutes would probably put her to sleep for months or years.
"I know, Highness, but one of the guards was having trouble sleeping at the time," I lied with practiced ease, "and so I had some kept for him. There was some left by the time he was well again, and nobody thought to dispose of it." She scowled at me, knowing that I was lying through my teeth, but willing to let it slide since I had a good excuse for her. One I'd used a dozen times before, if not more, but still good enough that it didn't look like I doubted her skills as a healer. She took the cup, and drained it quickly, the expression on her face showing she still hadn't gotten used to the bitter taste. Cecil motioned for me to come in as she walked back over to the bed, the herbs already doing their job. I sat in a chair near the bed and watched as she drifted off to sleep, Cecil rubbing her back as he sat on the edge of the bed.
My heart felt like it was being torn out and fed to a sting rat, but I watched anyways.
"She's beautiful like that," I said, once I was sure she was asleep.
"She's always beautiful," Cecil replied quietly, kissing her softly on the cheek. I didn't respond to that, didn't tell him how I remembered what she looked like when Scarmiglione had been done with her, like a twisted and broken doll. If she didn't tell him herself, she either didn't remember or didn't want him to know. If the latter, it wasn't my place to tell him. If the former, it was probably for the best. We sat there, just watching her, for the better part of a minute before I decided that he must have had some reason to invite me in.
"Did you want to talk to me, Cecil?"
"Yes. I wanted to thank you for all the help you've been."
"After what I've done -" Cecil raised his hand and shook his head.
"Forgiven, Kain, you know that." I sighed deeply.
"I know. You've forgiven me, Rydia, Cid, Edward, Yang, Edge - hell, I don't know how, but even Rosa's forgiven me. But I know what you all went through because of me. So many lives would have been saved if only I'd been a bit stronger. Lives that were important to me." Cecil put a strong hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. This time, I couldn't turn away like the countless times I had while we were still fighting Golbez and Zeromus.
"Kain, it wasn't your fault."
"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It still happened, and I know that people have suffered - are suffering," I said, glancing at Rosa, "because of it."
"We've all made mistakes, Kain. At least you have a reason to have made them. Look at me - I wasn't under any spell, I still slaughtered those Mysidians at Caignazzo's order. Still stole the Crystal - if you've caused suffering for people, I've caused ten times as much, because none of this would have happened if the Fiend had been dealt with before he could claim the first Crystal." I thought about it for a few minutes - but with all of Golbez's contingencies, the loss of Caignazzo would have been almost meaningless. I took a deep breath and decided to tell him what I'd decided.
"Cecil, I'm leaving tonight."
"What? Where to?"
"I don't know where. Just not here."
"Kain, what's wrong? If something needs to be changed, I'll do anything I can to see it happen." Odd, the tone of his voice. Almost pleading with me to stay, in his own way - would any other man be so desperate to keep somebody who'd already betrayed him twice nearby? No. A part of me called him a fool for wanting me to stay - the part of me that had served Golbez willingly. The rest of me almost crumbled there, almost gave in and agreed to stay, but I knew that I couldn't afford to do that.
"It's nothing you can change, Cecil. I've tried to deal with it here since we returned, but I can't - I have to leave, for everybody's good. The last thing you need is for the Captain of the Guard to be distracted by his own problems. I have to look for what I need elsewhere."
"What are you looking for? If it's forgiveness, then you have it here."
"I know, Cecil. I have it anywhere I want to go, except for from the people I need it from."
"And who might they be?"
"Myself, and another, long dead." How could I explain to him who I needed that forgiveness from? Cecil couldn't understand the need to hear those words from somebody who was supposed to be soulless, from a creature that I should have hated with all my being, and did for a time. And pretended to later, when I helped to kill him.
"You won't be coming back, will you?"
"Not for a long time, I'm afraid." No more lies - I'd given him those long enough. Truth now - how ironic that the time I decided I should be truthful to him, my best friend, my brother in all but blood, would be when I was leaving him for what could be the last time.
"And I can't stop you from leaving, can I?"
"If you order me to stay, I'll stay. But I'm hoping that, for all we've had in the past, you won't."
"I couldn't if I wanted to, Kain. I remember when we went to Mist - you were willing to carry out the king's orders, but if you had, you would have hated him forever. I don't think I could take that between us."
"It wouldn't be that bad, but thank you for understanding."
"I just wish you'd tell me more." I thought for a moment. Rosa knew - she knows what happened to me as well as I know what happened to her.
"In the morning, when you explain where I am to Rosa, tell her that I've gone to look for the one who understood me. She'll know what I'm talking about. Tell her that she has my permission to tell you all she wishes about what happened at the Tower. But don't push her too hard, Cecil," I said, a hard edge creeping into my voice. "Or I will make you wish you hadn't." I would have been beheaded for that threat, under the old king. But Cecil just looked at me, slightly shocked, and nodded.
"Come back to us, Kain. Eventually - come back for her, if nothing else." Damn him - he knows just what buttons to push.
"All right, Cecil. I swear, I will come back, if I can. I just can't promise when."
"Don't make it too long, please." Again that nearly pleading tone - what's wrong with him? I'd never heard him speak like that before, even when I left him to the train with the Dark Sword on his own.
"When I've found what I'm looking for, as much of it as possible, I'll return. I swear it."
"All right. Good bye, my friend."
"Good bye, Cecil. Treat her well, and may you some day be able to undo what I have seen done to her." With that, I moved to the window, and leaped down, before running to my quarters to pack.
Now I'm standing on the battlements of Castle Baron. No need to bother the sentries with the gate - their used to my coming and going by air. I have a pack with food and supplies over my shoulder, including a few x-potions I'd been hoarding for this event, and an elixir left from Namingway's cousin, purchased in the hours before the second moon left the sky. It's still odd, having only one moon all the time, but somehow comforting. I know that Golbez, whatever he became in the end, hero or villain, is gone. I know that I'm free of him.
I know that Rubicant is free of him, even though his freedom comes in death.
Now, if only we could be free of the guilt..
A leap off the battlements, across the moat, and I start running into the darkness. First stop, the Chocobo forest. After that.who knows.
~~~===~~~
The next morning, Rosa woke up well rested for the first time in weeks. She smiled at her sleeping husband, and moved to kiss him on the forehead. His strong hand caught her cheek, and brought her face down for a kiss that quickly became more heated and passionate than she'd been planning. When they broke apart, she smiled at him.
"And just how long have you been waiting for me to wake up?"
"Only a few minutes, Heart."
"You know, I'm going to have to apologize to Kain later. I really shouldn't get angry with him like that." Cecil pulled back slightly, an uneasy look flashing across his face.
"What's wrong, love?"
"Kain - Kain's gone. He left last night, while you were asleep."
"Why?"
"He said something about looking for forgiveness. From himself, and somebody else who's important to him - something about 'looking for the one who understood him.' I don't have a clue what he meant, but he said you should." Rosa licked her lips as she remembered the time she'd spent as Golbez's prisoner - when she'd met each of the four Fiends, in their turn, as Golbez wanted her to meet them. And she knew exactly whom Kain had meant.
"Rubicant."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"You weren't there, thank God. Kain - part of him was what you saw, betrayed you to Golbez and helped to steal the crystals. But the Kain we know was in there, buried. Once in awhile, Golbez would let him out to punish him for forcing Golbez to make a personal appearance at Fabul. I shouldn't tell you anything more, he -"
"He said it was okay - that he gave you his permission to say what happened."
"Valvalis happened. Think about it, Love - of all the creatures we fought, all the monsters, was there any being besides Golbez or Zeromus that Kain fought with the same vicious.glee," she asked, hesitating a moment to decide if she had the right word. Cecil thought, then shook his head.
"No. Come to think of it, I think he enjoyed fighting Valvalis more than he did Golbez. I'd thought it was because he'd just broken free, was trying to 'redeem himself' somehow."
"And if you'd asked him before last night, he'd have told you just that, probably. But the real reason was because Valvalis was a personal grudge even more than Golbez was. Your brother controlled him through magic - Valvalis used other means to control him.
"Golbez was furious for his 'weakness' at Fabul, and couldn't think of anything to punish him sufficiently. Not on his own, at least. It was while.while.," Rosa swallowed the lump in her throat and continued, "while he was.torturing me. The only two who hadn't helped him were Rubicant and Valvalis - Rubicant had refused to take part in it, but Valvalis, she just wasn't interested in me," Rosa laughed bitterly. "For all the good it did me. She requested that she be allowed to 'punish' Kain." Cecil turned away as he realized what she meant, trying to hide the look of pity and disgust that flashed across his face, the same look that he'd had when she first told him about what had happened there. "Golbez agreed," she whispered.
"God - my brother.."
"Was as much under Zeromus' spell as Kain was under his."
"What does that have to do with Rubicant?"
"Rubicant was the one who understood Kain, like he said. Both of them served Golbez for reasons not entirely of their own choosing, from what I understand. Both of them were honorable at heart, despite not being allowed to express that honor under Golbez's control. Both of them had been punished for not following his orders to the letter. Kain was in the cell next to mine, chained up when he wasn't completely under the spell - the better to punish him, I imagine. Golbez would do whatever he wanted to do in my cell, while Kain listened in the next cell. Then Valvalis would get her turn with him, and I had to listen to it, hear his screams and his curses, as bad as anything I went through, in their way. Whatever he did, he didn't deserve that any more than I did."
"That's why you could forgive him so easily?"
"Part of the reason - the other part's obvious. Whatever part of his mind knew what was happening, it couldn't have stopped them, and certainly didn't deserve that kind of torment. But Rubicant - Rubicant would come into the room once Valvalis had left, before Golbez had taken control again. Kain survived that as well as he did because Rubicant helped him through it. I was surprised when he helped us in that fight in the Tower of Babel, honestly."
"It explains a few things about Rubicant, though."
"Yes. He was evil, but a particular brand of evil. He drew the lines, and not even Zeromus could make him cross them."
"A pity we had to kill him. He had a lot in common with me, before the Mountain."
" Maybe. But you were good at heart, Love, he wasn't," she said, rubbing his cheek with the back of her slender fingers. "I wonder if Kain might have forgotten about that over the past few years."
"What do you mean?"
"If he's looking for forgiveness from Rubicant, I wonder if he remembers that we had to fight him, that none of us really had a choice once Edge attacked - and certainly no choice if we wanted to get the Crystals."
"Rosa?"
"What, Cecil?
"Do you think he really plans on coming back? Or do you think he actually made a promise he didn't intend to keep?"
"Remember, Love, we're talking about Kain. Honor foremost, when he can. He'll be back, I know it." Cecil sighed, and rolled to look out the window Kain had left by just hours before.
"I hope you're right," he said, as Rosa moved closer and put her arms around him, neither of them particularly wanting to move right then..
~~~===~~~
End Prologue
~~~===~~~
Prologue
~~~===~~~
I was sitting with Sean Colbroon, my second-in-command, outside the royal chambers, playing chess when it happened.
"Knight takes Rook," I said. "You really should be more careful, Sean." The younger soldier smiled wryly as he moved his bishop into place.
"Checkmate, Captain." I stared at the board in disbelief, then laughed and clapped Sean on the shoulder.
"Good game, boy. Completely missed that one." Just then, Rosa's cry came from the royal chambers. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but looked towards the doors uneasily. Sean just cracked a lopsided grin.
"Guess they're working on producing an heir, eh Captain?" Sean's grin disappeared and his eyes grew wide as the tip of my lance, once resting against the wall, was suddenly resting against his throat. "Sorry, Captain." I sat down with a sigh. The nightmares again, I knew.
"That wasn't a happy sound, Sean. Trust me, I heard those often enough from them, before the business with the Crystals." Nearly tore me apart every time, too, but it wasn't as bad as her screams now.
"Is something wrong in there," Sean asked.
"Nothing we can fix, I'm afraid. You keep an eye on things here, Sean. I'm going to go get a few things for her Highness."
"Sure thing, Captain." Sean watched the door uneasily as I walked towards my quarters.
I don't know why I stayed there as long as I did, honestly. On the nights she screamed, I knew that I was the reason why - that my weakness had allowed those nightmares to happen to her. On the nights she didn't, I knew that I was the reason for that too - that she'd never been able to let Cecil - or any man - do more than touch her that way since the horrors of the Tower of Zot. And quite possibly never would. Hell, Rydia'd have an easier time bedding Rosa after that, probably. That bastard Golbez had seen to it that she'd never be able to be that close to anyone again - makes me think he knew she'd be rescued, for all his talk about killing her once he had the Crystal, and for all that he came too damned close to pulling it off.
I picked up the teapot that I kept in my room, and built a small fire in the stove, heating the water for the medicine Rosa's mother had made since then. It meant she could sleep, at least, without the nightmares. Rosa always tried to get rid of it, but between Cecil and I we kept enough around to be sure that there was always some hidden somewhere when it was needed. I always claimed to be the one who'd hidden it, even if Cecil had to tell me where to find it - that way she was mad at me instead of him. If she could even stay mad at him for more than a few hours. Usually forgave me the next day, when she realized what it was like to actually get some sleep that wasn't interrupted by a screaming fit, or spent tossing and turning in her husband's arms.
God, those words still hurt like hell. At least before I'd had a chance, but now - even if Cecil was killed, and she survived both whatever killed him, and her own grief, I couldn't bring myself to make a move. Not with what I've learned about myself since I first fell in love with her. The side of me that Golbez released - the side that wanted to.no, can't think about that right now. Right now, she needs the medicine, and I've got to make it for her. There, that should do it, now, to take it to her room.
Their room..
Damn it, Kain, stop thinking like that! It doesn't help anything. He's got her, he deserves her, and even if she'd ever loved you as more than a friend, maybe a brother, you blew that when you stopped fighting.
I'm still torn just thinking about it. Thinking about how I let them take her time and again. They'd have killed me if I'd tried to stop them, even if I could have fought against Golbez's spell, or the dark side of me that was released by it. The punishments he'd let Valvalis inflict on me would have seemed child's play, compared to what he would have done to me if I'd defied him openly. But at least I'd have tried. And I wouldn't have to watch her suffer like this.
Sean greeted me as I walked in, having calmed down after Rosa's first scream. Watching him, I knew it was time to let him take charge.
"Go on, Sean. Get some sleep - nothing else will happen tonight, and you'll need the rest." He looked at me for a moment, unsure of whether or not his ears deceived him, but apparently decided that I knew what I was talking about.
"All right, Captain. See you tomorrow." He walked out as I approached the door. I remember thinking how surprised he'd be in the morning, when Cecil gave him command of the guards officially. I knocked quietly on the door. They'd have excused me if I'd just walked in, but I had my reasons. If nothing else, I still can't accept the off chance that I'd walk in and catch Rosa in anything less than her nightclothes.
The door opened and I was greeted by the vision of beauty that was the Queen of Baron. She'd taken well to the role, better than Cecil had to be honest.
"I have some of your mother's tea for you, Highness."
"Kain, I thought I had the servants get rid of that," she said, anger tingeing her voice. She insisted that there was nothing wrong with her that her magic couldn't fix, but we all knew the truth - no White Mage knew any magic that would help her sleep, and the Black Mages had to admit that the only way their spells would work for more than a few minutes would probably put her to sleep for months or years.
"I know, Highness, but one of the guards was having trouble sleeping at the time," I lied with practiced ease, "and so I had some kept for him. There was some left by the time he was well again, and nobody thought to dispose of it." She scowled at me, knowing that I was lying through my teeth, but willing to let it slide since I had a good excuse for her. One I'd used a dozen times before, if not more, but still good enough that it didn't look like I doubted her skills as a healer. She took the cup, and drained it quickly, the expression on her face showing she still hadn't gotten used to the bitter taste. Cecil motioned for me to come in as she walked back over to the bed, the herbs already doing their job. I sat in a chair near the bed and watched as she drifted off to sleep, Cecil rubbing her back as he sat on the edge of the bed.
My heart felt like it was being torn out and fed to a sting rat, but I watched anyways.
"She's beautiful like that," I said, once I was sure she was asleep.
"She's always beautiful," Cecil replied quietly, kissing her softly on the cheek. I didn't respond to that, didn't tell him how I remembered what she looked like when Scarmiglione had been done with her, like a twisted and broken doll. If she didn't tell him herself, she either didn't remember or didn't want him to know. If the latter, it wasn't my place to tell him. If the former, it was probably for the best. We sat there, just watching her, for the better part of a minute before I decided that he must have had some reason to invite me in.
"Did you want to talk to me, Cecil?"
"Yes. I wanted to thank you for all the help you've been."
"After what I've done -" Cecil raised his hand and shook his head.
"Forgiven, Kain, you know that." I sighed deeply.
"I know. You've forgiven me, Rydia, Cid, Edward, Yang, Edge - hell, I don't know how, but even Rosa's forgiven me. But I know what you all went through because of me. So many lives would have been saved if only I'd been a bit stronger. Lives that were important to me." Cecil put a strong hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. This time, I couldn't turn away like the countless times I had while we were still fighting Golbez and Zeromus.
"Kain, it wasn't your fault."
"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It still happened, and I know that people have suffered - are suffering," I said, glancing at Rosa, "because of it."
"We've all made mistakes, Kain. At least you have a reason to have made them. Look at me - I wasn't under any spell, I still slaughtered those Mysidians at Caignazzo's order. Still stole the Crystal - if you've caused suffering for people, I've caused ten times as much, because none of this would have happened if the Fiend had been dealt with before he could claim the first Crystal." I thought about it for a few minutes - but with all of Golbez's contingencies, the loss of Caignazzo would have been almost meaningless. I took a deep breath and decided to tell him what I'd decided.
"Cecil, I'm leaving tonight."
"What? Where to?"
"I don't know where. Just not here."
"Kain, what's wrong? If something needs to be changed, I'll do anything I can to see it happen." Odd, the tone of his voice. Almost pleading with me to stay, in his own way - would any other man be so desperate to keep somebody who'd already betrayed him twice nearby? No. A part of me called him a fool for wanting me to stay - the part of me that had served Golbez willingly. The rest of me almost crumbled there, almost gave in and agreed to stay, but I knew that I couldn't afford to do that.
"It's nothing you can change, Cecil. I've tried to deal with it here since we returned, but I can't - I have to leave, for everybody's good. The last thing you need is for the Captain of the Guard to be distracted by his own problems. I have to look for what I need elsewhere."
"What are you looking for? If it's forgiveness, then you have it here."
"I know, Cecil. I have it anywhere I want to go, except for from the people I need it from."
"And who might they be?"
"Myself, and another, long dead." How could I explain to him who I needed that forgiveness from? Cecil couldn't understand the need to hear those words from somebody who was supposed to be soulless, from a creature that I should have hated with all my being, and did for a time. And pretended to later, when I helped to kill him.
"You won't be coming back, will you?"
"Not for a long time, I'm afraid." No more lies - I'd given him those long enough. Truth now - how ironic that the time I decided I should be truthful to him, my best friend, my brother in all but blood, would be when I was leaving him for what could be the last time.
"And I can't stop you from leaving, can I?"
"If you order me to stay, I'll stay. But I'm hoping that, for all we've had in the past, you won't."
"I couldn't if I wanted to, Kain. I remember when we went to Mist - you were willing to carry out the king's orders, but if you had, you would have hated him forever. I don't think I could take that between us."
"It wouldn't be that bad, but thank you for understanding."
"I just wish you'd tell me more." I thought for a moment. Rosa knew - she knows what happened to me as well as I know what happened to her.
"In the morning, when you explain where I am to Rosa, tell her that I've gone to look for the one who understood me. She'll know what I'm talking about. Tell her that she has my permission to tell you all she wishes about what happened at the Tower. But don't push her too hard, Cecil," I said, a hard edge creeping into my voice. "Or I will make you wish you hadn't." I would have been beheaded for that threat, under the old king. But Cecil just looked at me, slightly shocked, and nodded.
"Come back to us, Kain. Eventually - come back for her, if nothing else." Damn him - he knows just what buttons to push.
"All right, Cecil. I swear, I will come back, if I can. I just can't promise when."
"Don't make it too long, please." Again that nearly pleading tone - what's wrong with him? I'd never heard him speak like that before, even when I left him to the train with the Dark Sword on his own.
"When I've found what I'm looking for, as much of it as possible, I'll return. I swear it."
"All right. Good bye, my friend."
"Good bye, Cecil. Treat her well, and may you some day be able to undo what I have seen done to her." With that, I moved to the window, and leaped down, before running to my quarters to pack.
Now I'm standing on the battlements of Castle Baron. No need to bother the sentries with the gate - their used to my coming and going by air. I have a pack with food and supplies over my shoulder, including a few x-potions I'd been hoarding for this event, and an elixir left from Namingway's cousin, purchased in the hours before the second moon left the sky. It's still odd, having only one moon all the time, but somehow comforting. I know that Golbez, whatever he became in the end, hero or villain, is gone. I know that I'm free of him.
I know that Rubicant is free of him, even though his freedom comes in death.
Now, if only we could be free of the guilt..
A leap off the battlements, across the moat, and I start running into the darkness. First stop, the Chocobo forest. After that.who knows.
~~~===~~~
The next morning, Rosa woke up well rested for the first time in weeks. She smiled at her sleeping husband, and moved to kiss him on the forehead. His strong hand caught her cheek, and brought her face down for a kiss that quickly became more heated and passionate than she'd been planning. When they broke apart, she smiled at him.
"And just how long have you been waiting for me to wake up?"
"Only a few minutes, Heart."
"You know, I'm going to have to apologize to Kain later. I really shouldn't get angry with him like that." Cecil pulled back slightly, an uneasy look flashing across his face.
"What's wrong, love?"
"Kain - Kain's gone. He left last night, while you were asleep."
"Why?"
"He said something about looking for forgiveness. From himself, and somebody else who's important to him - something about 'looking for the one who understood him.' I don't have a clue what he meant, but he said you should." Rosa licked her lips as she remembered the time she'd spent as Golbez's prisoner - when she'd met each of the four Fiends, in their turn, as Golbez wanted her to meet them. And she knew exactly whom Kain had meant.
"Rubicant."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"You weren't there, thank God. Kain - part of him was what you saw, betrayed you to Golbez and helped to steal the crystals. But the Kain we know was in there, buried. Once in awhile, Golbez would let him out to punish him for forcing Golbez to make a personal appearance at Fabul. I shouldn't tell you anything more, he -"
"He said it was okay - that he gave you his permission to say what happened."
"Valvalis happened. Think about it, Love - of all the creatures we fought, all the monsters, was there any being besides Golbez or Zeromus that Kain fought with the same vicious.glee," she asked, hesitating a moment to decide if she had the right word. Cecil thought, then shook his head.
"No. Come to think of it, I think he enjoyed fighting Valvalis more than he did Golbez. I'd thought it was because he'd just broken free, was trying to 'redeem himself' somehow."
"And if you'd asked him before last night, he'd have told you just that, probably. But the real reason was because Valvalis was a personal grudge even more than Golbez was. Your brother controlled him through magic - Valvalis used other means to control him.
"Golbez was furious for his 'weakness' at Fabul, and couldn't think of anything to punish him sufficiently. Not on his own, at least. It was while.while.," Rosa swallowed the lump in her throat and continued, "while he was.torturing me. The only two who hadn't helped him were Rubicant and Valvalis - Rubicant had refused to take part in it, but Valvalis, she just wasn't interested in me," Rosa laughed bitterly. "For all the good it did me. She requested that she be allowed to 'punish' Kain." Cecil turned away as he realized what she meant, trying to hide the look of pity and disgust that flashed across his face, the same look that he'd had when she first told him about what had happened there. "Golbez agreed," she whispered.
"God - my brother.."
"Was as much under Zeromus' spell as Kain was under his."
"What does that have to do with Rubicant?"
"Rubicant was the one who understood Kain, like he said. Both of them served Golbez for reasons not entirely of their own choosing, from what I understand. Both of them were honorable at heart, despite not being allowed to express that honor under Golbez's control. Both of them had been punished for not following his orders to the letter. Kain was in the cell next to mine, chained up when he wasn't completely under the spell - the better to punish him, I imagine. Golbez would do whatever he wanted to do in my cell, while Kain listened in the next cell. Then Valvalis would get her turn with him, and I had to listen to it, hear his screams and his curses, as bad as anything I went through, in their way. Whatever he did, he didn't deserve that any more than I did."
"That's why you could forgive him so easily?"
"Part of the reason - the other part's obvious. Whatever part of his mind knew what was happening, it couldn't have stopped them, and certainly didn't deserve that kind of torment. But Rubicant - Rubicant would come into the room once Valvalis had left, before Golbez had taken control again. Kain survived that as well as he did because Rubicant helped him through it. I was surprised when he helped us in that fight in the Tower of Babel, honestly."
"It explains a few things about Rubicant, though."
"Yes. He was evil, but a particular brand of evil. He drew the lines, and not even Zeromus could make him cross them."
"A pity we had to kill him. He had a lot in common with me, before the Mountain."
" Maybe. But you were good at heart, Love, he wasn't," she said, rubbing his cheek with the back of her slender fingers. "I wonder if Kain might have forgotten about that over the past few years."
"What do you mean?"
"If he's looking for forgiveness from Rubicant, I wonder if he remembers that we had to fight him, that none of us really had a choice once Edge attacked - and certainly no choice if we wanted to get the Crystals."
"Rosa?"
"What, Cecil?
"Do you think he really plans on coming back? Or do you think he actually made a promise he didn't intend to keep?"
"Remember, Love, we're talking about Kain. Honor foremost, when he can. He'll be back, I know it." Cecil sighed, and rolled to look out the window Kain had left by just hours before.
"I hope you're right," he said, as Rosa moved closer and put her arms around him, neither of them particularly wanting to move right then..
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End Prologue
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