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Legacy of Kain Chapter 14: Fires of the Mind

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I have lived longer than most people believe the world has existed. I have killed and been killed, tortured, and been tortured. I have brought kingdoms to their knees, been a general and a soldier. But with all the things I have seen and done - none of them could have prepared me for finding Kain that night. Or for what I almost did when I found him.

We had just left Baron on the Enterprise, along with the few Red Wing officers who had been held back from the mission to help rebuild Eblan. It was roughly three days flying time, so we had some time to kill on the trip. Callista and I spent the first few hours of the trip sparring and, I have to admit, I was more than a little rusty. That night, when it was late enough that we were both tiring, we put away our swords and went down to the mess hall to eat.

It's strange, being on an airship. A skeleton crew is twice the minimum number of men required to run the ship. Because the ship has to be kept running at all times, half the crew rests while the other half maintains the complex machinery and fuels the great steam engines. Honestly, the first time I rode one of the ponderously magnificent machines, I spent a good part of my time simply marveling at how something so ungainly and prone to malfunction could actually overcome the difficulties involved in getting airborne, without using the least bit of magic. But I digress.

When we were getting our dinner, part of the night crew was getting its lunch before going back to work. Since it was the meal between shift changes, they'd be eating on deck, leaving us with the mess hall to ourselves.

That was when things got interesting. We were eating quietly, carefully avoiding any conversation - the easiest way the two of us had to avoid an argument. The ship's cook brought his own meal out and sat down near us, no doubt hoping to break the silence. Just like I expected, he started talking almost as soon as he sat down.

"So, the three of you going on some mission for the King?"

"Not quite," I answered quietly. "We're friends of Captain Highwind, helping him with a mission of his own. I don't think the King wanted him to go." Kain's expression when he'd found the two of us had made that plain - I knew something was wrong, and it wasn't too hard to guess what it was when I noticed the missing badge that he had worn throughout our trek to Mount Ordeals, even when speaking with Lady Reis. Unfortunately, the cook's expression told me something else was wrong there.

"Watch who you call Captain on this ship, sir knight," he said darkly. "The dragoon might be Captain of the Guard, and the King's friend, but he's not Captain of the Red Wings."

"Excuse me," I said, lowering my head slightly. "I meant no offense."

"That's the main reason I haven't knocked you on your seat." I felt a familiar rush of anger hit me - something I hadn't felt strongly for centuries, hadn't felt at all since I had become a mortal, despite numerous occasions when Callista had slung far worse insults and threats at me. It was something I'd learned to control - or so I'd thought. The battle rage that had been one of my curses as the Fiend of Fire. It disturbed me that I was feeling it now, even as a mortal. Particularly over something that minor.

"Excuse me," I repeated, standing up. "I'm going to go take a short walk, if nobody minds." The look on Callista's face was almost appraising as she watched me, as though she knew about the battle raging between my instincts and my conscious mind. Of course, she probably did, and I could understand being worried if she remembered the last time instincts had won. I don't think anything I could do would change *that* memory. The cook sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Look, maybe I was a bit hasty. You just didn't know any better, and I've got a bit of a temper about that. They say I'm almost as bad as Cid," he said with a slight grin.

"If I'm forgiven, then so are you," I said, managing a weak smile as I extended my hand. The cook accepted it, and we shook before I continued out, making some sort of weak excuse about needing some air. At that point, I wasn't entirely sure what I was saying any more. All I knew was the gnawing rage building inside of me. I stepped out of the mess hall, and walked to the railing, clutching it with all the strength of my human frame, trying to channel some of the energy into something less destructive. I only stopped when I felt the pain of the splinters digging in beneath my fingernails, and realized that I was leaving deep gouges in the wood. I released the railing, and bit my lip as I cleaned the wood from under my nails with the tip of my dagger, careful not to use too much force. Once it was safe, I tried to clear my mind enough to focus on a spell.

A choice that would henceforth be known as Mistake Number One.

As soon as I'd forced the rage down enough, the effect it was having on the pain I felt ended, leaving me with the full effects of both the splinters, and the dagger I'd used to clean them out. I summoned the necessary power as quickly as I could, and gave voice to the spell.

"Cure," I whispered between clenched teeth, sighing with relief as the pain fled and my skin healed. Shaking my hands out, I chuckled ruefully as I started walking down the ship. At least I knew that enough pain would still break me out of it, so long as I hadn't completely given myself over to the rage.

I found the cabin Kain was staying in for the duration of the trip, one normally reserved for important passengers, and knocked on the door.

"Come in," I heard a strange-sounding voice say. It sounded like Kain's voice, but the tone, the mannerisms suggested by it were completely different. Frowning slightly, I opened the door and stepped in.

In retrospect, trying to focus myself earlier seemed like a brilliant idea compared to this. But I had no way of knowing what was waiting for me.

Kain was sitting at the small table in his cabin, pouring a drink from a rather large bottle of wine. Fortunately, the ship was fairly stable, certainly better than the average ship at sea, or he would probably have fallen out of his chair to judge by the progress he'd made through the bottle already.

"Kain?" I closed the door behind me and approached the table as he drained the glass. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, I'm just fine," he said bitterly. "Why shouldn't I be? I've just had to choose between the three people I'm willing to die for, isn't this the day I've been living for?"

"I suppose it could be, though I'd be rather surprised if it was. Mind if I sit down?"

"Don't care," he said sullenly. I took a seat, and decided that it was a good thing I'd never seen him drunk before - he certainly didn't seem to be particularly pleasant company that way. He brushed his golden hair back before he reached under the table to pull out another glass - they must have been in a cupboard or drawer on his side. He poured two glasses, and slid one over to me.

"I guess you're going to lecture me on how it's not as bad as it looks," he said with a slight sigh. I was surprised by how clear his speech was, honestly - he just wasn't talking the way he usually did.

"I wasn't planning on it," I said softly. "If you'd like me to, I'm sure I could, but I don't think you're in the mood to listen to a lecture."

"Damn right I'm not," he grumbled. I sighed mentally - this wasn't going to be easy.

"Want to talk about it, Kain?"

"What's there to talk about? I'm not sure who I'm more angry with - Cecil for making me choose, or myself for choosing the way I did."

"Kain, he knows how much is riding on this. He couldn't have expected you to back down."

"You didn't see his face. Drink your drink." I picked up the glass and looked at it while I thought.

"Kain," I said, "he'll forgive you when you come back, I'm sure of it."

"You really think we're coming back," he asked sullenly. "Hell, this whole mission hinges on a washed up dragon knight being able to take on someone powerful enough to conquer entire worlds." I felt my soul flare up again as Kain insulted himself. "Cecil was right," he continued, "it is suicide. It's just a sort of suicide that I can stomach."

"That's the drink talking, Kain," I said, my voice shaking slightly. Damn - why was I responding like this? The very idea of Kain intentionally - it wasn't something I liked to think about at all, and hearing him talk that way was something I *didn't* need to hear. Unfortunately, he kept talking.

"No, it's me talking. Just being honest with myself for once." I felt a burst of heat as the wine in my glass ignited, burning away in slightly more than an instant. I threw it to the side, barely hearing it shatter against the wall as Kain looked on in shock.

"Honest with yourself," I asked with a snarl. "Kain, if you were being honest with yourself, you'd realize what a damned fool you're being! Would Reis have chosen you if she didn't think you could do this?" Sweat poured down my face, despite the chill I felt running through my body. "If we didn't think you could do it, would we be marching to our deaths with you?"

After that, my words lost their meaning to me. I could tell I was shouting, but I couldn't tell anything other than the fact that Kain was shocked by what I was saying. He pushed his chair back, and tried to get to his feet. He staggered slightly as I moved around the table towards him, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that, for the first time since I had known him, he was afraid of me. That was enough to snap me out of it, fortunately. I leaned heavily on the table, suddenly wishing that I wasn't wearing my training armor. I was shivering like I'd just came in from the winter cold, but I tried to focus enough to stay awake, despite the tempting blackness at the edge of my vision.

"I - I don't - don't -" What was I trying to say? Words were coming into my mind, jumbled almost beyond recognition. My head was pounding and spinning at the same time, and the blackness threatened to win out over me as my stomach felt like it was twisting itself into knots.

Hadn't felt like this since -

As Kain watched, Rubicant collapsed onto the floor of the room, shivering slightly as the dragon knight ran to the door of the room and called for the ship's medic..

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Dust blew through the deserted streets of the town, the air deadly silent - save for the pealing of the bell. Callista looked up at the tower in the distance, watching as the sun glinted off the bronze figure who stood alone, pulling the ropes that rang the bell, eternally calling to anyone who would answer its peals. She was the only one there.

Or was she? As she approached the tower, she saw a glint of light off metal at the street level. Was there finally somebody else here with her, after so many long years of being alone in her suffering? The dark figure approached her, looking almost as confused as she did. He looked familiar somehow - but she wasn't entirely sure where she'd seen him before. He walked up to her, and raised the visor of his helmet, revealing the face of Cecil Harvey.

"What are you doing here," she asked, cocking her head curiously.

"I -"

"Callista, wake up," Kain shouted, shaking her shoulder and allowing reality to interrupt her dream. She blinked up at him, trying to adjust to her new surroundings, remembering how she'd gotten there - that's right, she'd gone to her quarters after eating. Must have dozed off.and had another dream.

"What's wrong," she asked.

"Rubicant collapsed," Kain explained, remarkably more sober than he had been earlier. "The ship's medic is looking him over, and wanted to see you too, in case you were sick the same way he was."

"What happened before he collapsed?" Kain was quiet for a long moment before he answered.

"I think he snapped - I was being particularly stupid at the time, and he start yelling at me. I thought he was going to attack for a few moments."

"Damn," Callista snarled, stalking out of the room and towards the infirmary, Kain following close behind her.

"Hold on - what's happening?"

"I - I don't know! I only know that it's because of what he is," she said, the venom in her voice making it obvious to Kain what she felt about that.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's a monster, Kain - the Fiend of Fire, remember? And that means that, as much as the two of you might like to pretend otherwise, he isn't like us."

"He is now - he lost his powers, remember?"

"By that logic, an imp's not a monster. Would you want an imp helping you?"

"He's proven that he can be trusted."

"Maybe to you, but he's proven the opposite to me, the lying, scheming son of a -" Kain grabbed her shoulder and slammed her against the wall.

"Watch what you say about him - I have *never* known him to lie, and he detests 'scheming.' Understood?" She glared at him for a moment, before ducking under his arm and continuing.

"I don't have time for this, now - I have to get down there before your medic makes the same mistake you're making, and treats him like any other human." She turned into the infirmary, where a young man wearing a white silk band around his arm was watching over Rubicant. He looked up at the lithe warrior-woman, and stood, walking over to her.

"There you are - certainly took Sir Highwind long enough to get you here. Tell me -"

"No," Callista said in a tone that brooked no argument. "You will tell me. What is wrong with that.with Rubicant."

"He is suffering from a high fever. I'm not sure why, but I thought I should have you brought here so I could be sure you're fine," he explained, walking over to the unconscious warrior and removing the moist cloth from his head. "Fortunately, his fever seems to be passing. His body is still far hotter than it should be, though."

"Do you know how high his temperature is?"

"Not exactly - when I tried to take it, the thermometer I used burst, though his body isn't nearly that hot. That was before he had calmed, of course, so it might be safe now, but -" Callista drew one of her swords, and held it steady in front of her. "What are you doing?"

"Bringing down his fever," she said, before closing her eyes. "Stand back."

"I don't know that that's a good idea," he said, even as he took her advice, stepping back to the door as Kain stepped in.

"Spirits of the blade," she said softly, "let chill winds mend seared souls - mizu no ken," she finished with a shout. Before the eyes of her observers, a sea-green spirit seemed to flow out of the blade, passing through Rubicant's body. The former Fiend literally steamed as the spirit returned to the blade. Kain and the medic rushed over, the medic quickly checking Rubicant's temperature with the back of his hand.

"Well, I'd say his fever should be down to normal," he said, while Kain took his friend's hand, and looked at Callista.

"What did you do?" She looked at her sword carefully, inspecting the blade for cracks.

"Hmm? Oh - I'm not entirely sure. It's just something I've always been able to do," she said. "Sometimes it damages my blades, though, so I don't like to do it often."

"Thank you for doing it now," Kain said sincerely. "I'm sorry for how I treated you a few minutes ago." She shrugged carelessly.

"I was a little harsh, I suppose. But he isn't like us, Kain, just remember that. I'll return to my quarters, then. He can explain what happened when he wakes up." With that, she sheathed her sword and turned, walking out.

"You don't have to stay with him," the medic explained. "I would be sufficient." Kain shook his head stubbornly.

"I'm staying, but thank you. He's my friend - and I have much to apologize for, when he wakes up."

"Very well. He should be up soon - would you like me to bring you something, since you'll be here?"

"Something for a hangover," Kain chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "Or at least to keep one from developing."

"I'll brush up on my Antidote spell when I get back," he chuckled. "And get something for you to drink in the meantime." He left the room, leaving Kain sitting next to his friend, still holding his hand.

"Rubicant," he asked, "what happened to you?"

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End of Legacy of Kain Chapter 14: Fires of the Mind

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