Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.
Look! Another update! *giggles insanely* I'm not sure where I'm going with this now. Well, I kind of know. But I'm going with whatever hits me as I write. Hopefully it won't suck too much. ^_^ Just uh.. Fair warning. I've been listening to Disney songs while writing this. So.. Fear me. *skips away singing Part of Your World*
Promoting the LJs, as always:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.
Time for the acknowledgements!
Starbrat: The voices are fun. They say many things and tell me what to-- oh wait. You meant the story. *paranoid look* Uh.. Nm. *flees*
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope you continue to do so. But.. Exactly how does one become the only Pinata of ME?
Chicorytee: Everyone needed a bath.. Lol. Running for 3 days? *dies* It's wrong I tell you! Where's a jeep when they need one? Lol..
Opaque: Feeling.. Uh.. Yeah. Let's not get into THAT. *smiles* Talking to characters is not a bad thing. I mean, I do it all the time. How else do you find out what they want? *Ignores her brainchild Alli, who is screaming about lack of usage and wants attention* I'm not insane either. Today anyway.
Pellagolloien: Well ;p. We haven't had too many updates in the LJ yet, but mostly because I'm trying to keep it relaxed, so no one feels pressure to post. Well.. Except those times I'm talking to everyone and saying "POST DAMN YOU!!" only in a nicer way. Lol. *smiles innocently at her fellow posters and gives them cookies* If you have any questions, just email me. I'll be happy to answer whatever I can. And I can't answer that last question here. You have to read to find out! ;p~
UberBrain: EE!! *Uber huggage for Aims* Thank yous! Although as I keep saying, I'm NOT the best. And if I am, then I got a better deal then I thought on Ebay! ;p
Psycho Goddess: Rofl. I practically swooned in a store looking at a magazine with the cast in it.. And my mom saw me. She just gave me this 'look'. The kind where you know your mom thinks you're completely insane. Trying to explain WHY you're drooling doesn't seem to help either..
Taraeldaiel: Legomance? I still don't know.. But I can explain why he's the one noticing. Aragorn is busy in his ever growing leader roll and Gimli is trapped in the comedy relief loop of the movie.
Uber Shinigamiess: *UBER HUGS SUG!!!* You know if you want in, you're in. ;p It's a SUG thing. You're always in by default. Even when you aren't informed.. *coughs and smiles innocently as she rolls up the plans for world domination* So, if you aren't to busy obsessing over Gravitation, are you free June 15th, 2006? *cackles insanely like Ayeka*
NotAsSharpAsAMarble: So.. You love it? But do you like it? ;p I'm glad reading the fic made your day! It always makes me glad to know someone besides me is enjoying it. ^_^
Winterfox: Canon always breaks up in a MS fic… oh hell, Cannon always breaks up in MY fics. Roflmao.. It just depends on how much and how badly.. lol
KoUsagi: Hee. I'm not fully sure what's going to happen yet myself. But hopefully it'll turn out as a good read at least! Lol I'll keep bringing it.. As long as I have my sugar. *nibbles on a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup*
BookCrazy77: I'm glad you think so, and thank you!
Kayli: Sarcastic commentaries are the only way poor Lacey can keep herself sane. To remove that would be like.. Removing peanut butter from a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! Just.. WRONG. The voice is a big meanie. I based it on people I hold grudges with. Rofl.. You can probably see why I hold the grudges.. Hee..
More thank yous and uber hugs to you all! I hope you had a great holiday!! I hope you keep reading and enjoying the fic. And please.. If you wish to groan at this chapter for some reason.. It's all the meds and sugar's fault. Yup. And the orange juice. I'm starting to think it's replaced my blood.. The first human heart pumping orange juice instead of blood.. *giggles* I'm such a geek.. lol
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Chapter 15A - Reality Bites
"This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent, for he is driven mad by the fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from the women and children. You must fight."
I stopped in the doorway. They were discussing the joys of Wildmen and what a peachy couple the Duo of S were. I suppressed a snicker as I had a mental visual of Sauron and Saruman dressed as the Ambiguously Gay Duo.
Entering the room as quietly as I was able, I sat down at the edge of a bench and listened.
"You have 2000 good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king." Aragorn said.
Theoden looked tired, drained. Well guess what? He wasn't the only one. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us. I know what is that you want of me. But I would not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war."
Aragorn tried to reason with the King. "Open war is upon you, whether would risk it or not."
"When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan." Theoden said with a steely gaze.
Gimli let out a satisfied belch and even I winced at that. Ugh. Movie continuity.
"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf asked.
With a shake of my head I stood back up and left in disgust as Theoden announced the evacuation of the city.
"Moron." I muttered as I stalked down the stone halls.
"I take it you do not agree with his majesty?"
I shrugged as Legolas joined me. "That's stating the obvious."
The elf shot me a curious look. "Why?"
"It's like being backed into a corner." I sighed. "I mean come on. When Saruman's forces attack, and there is no if there, don't even delude yourself like everyone else no doubt is, it'll be a massacre. There won't be anywhere to go. It'll be wham." I clapped my hands together. "That's it. Game over. People are going to die and it'll be a slaughter."
"Either you do not hold much faith in your own kind, or else you know something you are not telling." His blue eyes were narrowed.
"What I know and don't know doesn't matter." I said and shrugged. I narrowed my own eyes right back at him. "Why are you talking to me?"
He looked slightly amused by my question. "Do I not have the right to talk to whom I please?"
"When it comes to me? No. There are no rights, just wrongs."
"Why do say that?"
"Because it's all wrong." I muttered. That was the understatement of the millennia. "I have another question.."
Legolas smirked wryly. "Would this be about the company I keep again?"
"Ha. No." Then I thought about it. "Well, maybe. Have I done anything funny?"
"Funny?"
"Odd. Strange."
"Why do you ask?"
I bit my lip, debating on whether to explain the time loops or not. I sighed. "It's nothing. Never mind."
I began to walk away, but once again, his hand clamped on to my wrist. Why do elves have to be so damn quick? He forced me to look at him
"No it is not." He said sternly. "Do not expect me not to question you when you ask about such odd matters."
"It's my problem, not yours." I snapped as I tried to wrench my arm free. "Just forget it."
"I will not. If you do not tell someone what has got a hold of you, then you will become a hindrance to us all."
"I already am." I hissed. "You want to know my problem? Do you?" Not waiting for him to respond I broke free and let loose. "I'm trapped in a world that isn't mine, I got one girl killed, killed another trying to save the only friend I had here, only I royally fucked it up and he DIED. I'm watching and hearing about people dieing and suffering all around me in a place I DON'T belong, trying my damn hardest not to get involved with any of you so I don't fuck up your lives, and to top it all off I'm having god damn time loops where I'm suddenly finding myself in a room when I was just outside!"
I let out a frustrated scream. "All I wanted to do was try and read a fucking book in peace and I'm pulled into hell!"
Legolas grabbed me by the shoulders. His voice was low. "Calm yourself."
"YOU calm down when you have my problems." I snapped. "And I thought hell was having to listen to my ex-boyfriend bitch and moan about how cursed he was." I let out a bitter laugh. "Oh how wrong I was."
Legolas's eyes bore into mine. "Explain to me about these 'time loops'."
I blinked and quickly looked down. Great. Now I've got him interested. Stupid stupid woman! "It happened the first time in Fangorn."
He frowned as I explained what happened and about the other times. When I was done he looked contemplative. "During those moments you seemed fine to the rest of us.. Although.."
"Although what?" I asked.
He released me. "It is nothing."
"Oh no you don't." I gave my best glare. "You do NOT get to pull that when it's about me."
The elf relented. "You would seem rather.. Cheerful. More at ease."
"HA!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm NEVER at ease. Here or home. I'm too paranoid for that." A chill swept over me and I shuddered. "Is that why you're talking to me? I mean, have I been talking to you?"
He nodded. "You have engaged in many conversations with us all."
"Damn damn damn!" I suddenly felt weak. I really was insane. My god. Multiple personality much? "What have I said?"
"Do you truly wish to know?"
I nodded. "Yes damn it!"
"You have been coming on.. Rather strongly."
"To who?" I braced myself for the answer I knew was coming.
"Both Aragorn and myself."
I let out a screech as a sudden realization dawned on me. "Oh you have to be kidding me!!!" I grabbed Legolas's arm. "Listen to me carefully. If I EVER act that way again, it's NOT me. Okay? Knock me out. Shoot me. Anything. Just.. get rid of me if I do it again."
Legolas looked completely shocked by that. "You can not ask me to do that."
I grabbed his cloak and pulled him closer. "Listen to me." I hissed. "I could screw up everything existence in this world. It takes all I have to hold back my wants and instincts as it is. When I'm having those time loops, I'm completely at mercy to something.. else. I could end up ruining more then Sauron ever could."
"How do you expect to do that?"
"I'm a Mary Sue." I said softly. "It's what we exist for. Chaos. Forced changes. To shape things in some other being's image." It amazed me at how easy it was to admit the following. "I'm not real here."
He arched an eyebrow. "Strange. Your grip feels real enough." His eyes fell to my hands that were still clutching his clothes.
Releasing him, I backed away. "Just.. trust me. Okay? I'm not real. Why do you think no one sees me unless it's convenient? Why Orcs completely ignore me. If I were real, I would have died in Moria." I started to laugh bitterly. "Maybe I'm not real in my world either. I'm probably a figment of someone's imagination. I might not exist anywhere. My life could be a total lie." That thought scared me and my eyes widened as I babbled on. "And when this story ends.. I won't exist anymore. Would I just go poof and tada, no more Lacey? Or would it be as if I never were around? Would anyone at home care? Would anyone at all? Maybe they don't exist either.. More lies. Illusions. What's real.. What's not.."
"That is enough!" Legolas exclaimed, ending my growing hysteria. "You are driving yourself mad."
"I was never too sane to begin with." I said quietly.
Legolas sighed. Wow, someone besides me sighing? A miracle! "Listen to me carefully. You are QUITE real, no matter what you may think."
"And how would you know?"
"Just believe me when I tell you." Legolas said.
"Is it an elf thing?"
He mulled that over, trying to figure out my meaning. He nodded slowly. "You could say that."
I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine. I'm real. Whoopee. Yay. Let's go celebrate by evacuating the place and hiding under tables in Helm's Deep."
"You will trust me then?" Legolas asked.
"Yeah yeah." I nodded. "I'll trust you. I'm adaptable. But if I snap and do something really stupid and don't remember it, I'm blaming you and feeding you to the nearest Uruk-Hai."
"I'll keep that in mind." Legolas replied dryly.
We walked in silence, and it wasn't until later that day that I noticed no voice had bothered me.
Look! Another update! *giggles insanely* I'm not sure where I'm going with this now. Well, I kind of know. But I'm going with whatever hits me as I write. Hopefully it won't suck too much. ^_^ Just uh.. Fair warning. I've been listening to Disney songs while writing this. So.. Fear me. *skips away singing Part of Your World*
Promoting the LJs, as always:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.
Time for the acknowledgements!
Starbrat: The voices are fun. They say many things and tell me what to-- oh wait. You meant the story. *paranoid look* Uh.. Nm. *flees*
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope you continue to do so. But.. Exactly how does one become the only Pinata of ME?
Chicorytee: Everyone needed a bath.. Lol. Running for 3 days? *dies* It's wrong I tell you! Where's a jeep when they need one? Lol..
Opaque: Feeling.. Uh.. Yeah. Let's not get into THAT. *smiles* Talking to characters is not a bad thing. I mean, I do it all the time. How else do you find out what they want? *Ignores her brainchild Alli, who is screaming about lack of usage and wants attention* I'm not insane either. Today anyway.
Pellagolloien: Well ;p. We haven't had too many updates in the LJ yet, but mostly because I'm trying to keep it relaxed, so no one feels pressure to post. Well.. Except those times I'm talking to everyone and saying "POST DAMN YOU!!" only in a nicer way. Lol. *smiles innocently at her fellow posters and gives them cookies* If you have any questions, just email me. I'll be happy to answer whatever I can. And I can't answer that last question here. You have to read to find out! ;p~
UberBrain: EE!! *Uber huggage for Aims* Thank yous! Although as I keep saying, I'm NOT the best. And if I am, then I got a better deal then I thought on Ebay! ;p
Psycho Goddess: Rofl. I practically swooned in a store looking at a magazine with the cast in it.. And my mom saw me. She just gave me this 'look'. The kind where you know your mom thinks you're completely insane. Trying to explain WHY you're drooling doesn't seem to help either..
Taraeldaiel: Legomance? I still don't know.. But I can explain why he's the one noticing. Aragorn is busy in his ever growing leader roll and Gimli is trapped in the comedy relief loop of the movie.
Uber Shinigamiess: *UBER HUGS SUG!!!* You know if you want in, you're in. ;p It's a SUG thing. You're always in by default. Even when you aren't informed.. *coughs and smiles innocently as she rolls up the plans for world domination* So, if you aren't to busy obsessing over Gravitation, are you free June 15th, 2006? *cackles insanely like Ayeka*
NotAsSharpAsAMarble: So.. You love it? But do you like it? ;p I'm glad reading the fic made your day! It always makes me glad to know someone besides me is enjoying it. ^_^
Winterfox: Canon always breaks up in a MS fic… oh hell, Cannon always breaks up in MY fics. Roflmao.. It just depends on how much and how badly.. lol
KoUsagi: Hee. I'm not fully sure what's going to happen yet myself. But hopefully it'll turn out as a good read at least! Lol I'll keep bringing it.. As long as I have my sugar. *nibbles on a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup*
BookCrazy77: I'm glad you think so, and thank you!
Kayli: Sarcastic commentaries are the only way poor Lacey can keep herself sane. To remove that would be like.. Removing peanut butter from a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! Just.. WRONG. The voice is a big meanie. I based it on people I hold grudges with. Rofl.. You can probably see why I hold the grudges.. Hee..
More thank yous and uber hugs to you all! I hope you had a great holiday!! I hope you keep reading and enjoying the fic. And please.. If you wish to groan at this chapter for some reason.. It's all the meds and sugar's fault. Yup. And the orange juice. I'm starting to think it's replaced my blood.. The first human heart pumping orange juice instead of blood.. *giggles* I'm such a geek.. lol
------
Chapter 15A - Reality Bites
"This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent, for he is driven mad by the fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from the women and children. You must fight."
I stopped in the doorway. They were discussing the joys of Wildmen and what a peachy couple the Duo of S were. I suppressed a snicker as I had a mental visual of Sauron and Saruman dressed as the Ambiguously Gay Duo.
Entering the room as quietly as I was able, I sat down at the edge of a bench and listened.
"You have 2000 good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king." Aragorn said.
Theoden looked tired, drained. Well guess what? He wasn't the only one. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us. I know what is that you want of me. But I would not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war."
Aragorn tried to reason with the King. "Open war is upon you, whether would risk it or not."
"When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan." Theoden said with a steely gaze.
Gimli let out a satisfied belch and even I winced at that. Ugh. Movie continuity.
"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf asked.
With a shake of my head I stood back up and left in disgust as Theoden announced the evacuation of the city.
"Moron." I muttered as I stalked down the stone halls.
"I take it you do not agree with his majesty?"
I shrugged as Legolas joined me. "That's stating the obvious."
The elf shot me a curious look. "Why?"
"It's like being backed into a corner." I sighed. "I mean come on. When Saruman's forces attack, and there is no if there, don't even delude yourself like everyone else no doubt is, it'll be a massacre. There won't be anywhere to go. It'll be wham." I clapped my hands together. "That's it. Game over. People are going to die and it'll be a slaughter."
"Either you do not hold much faith in your own kind, or else you know something you are not telling." His blue eyes were narrowed.
"What I know and don't know doesn't matter." I said and shrugged. I narrowed my own eyes right back at him. "Why are you talking to me?"
He looked slightly amused by my question. "Do I not have the right to talk to whom I please?"
"When it comes to me? No. There are no rights, just wrongs."
"Why do say that?"
"Because it's all wrong." I muttered. That was the understatement of the millennia. "I have another question.."
Legolas smirked wryly. "Would this be about the company I keep again?"
"Ha. No." Then I thought about it. "Well, maybe. Have I done anything funny?"
"Funny?"
"Odd. Strange."
"Why do you ask?"
I bit my lip, debating on whether to explain the time loops or not. I sighed. "It's nothing. Never mind."
I began to walk away, but once again, his hand clamped on to my wrist. Why do elves have to be so damn quick? He forced me to look at him
"No it is not." He said sternly. "Do not expect me not to question you when you ask about such odd matters."
"It's my problem, not yours." I snapped as I tried to wrench my arm free. "Just forget it."
"I will not. If you do not tell someone what has got a hold of you, then you will become a hindrance to us all."
"I already am." I hissed. "You want to know my problem? Do you?" Not waiting for him to respond I broke free and let loose. "I'm trapped in a world that isn't mine, I got one girl killed, killed another trying to save the only friend I had here, only I royally fucked it up and he DIED. I'm watching and hearing about people dieing and suffering all around me in a place I DON'T belong, trying my damn hardest not to get involved with any of you so I don't fuck up your lives, and to top it all off I'm having god damn time loops where I'm suddenly finding myself in a room when I was just outside!"
I let out a frustrated scream. "All I wanted to do was try and read a fucking book in peace and I'm pulled into hell!"
Legolas grabbed me by the shoulders. His voice was low. "Calm yourself."
"YOU calm down when you have my problems." I snapped. "And I thought hell was having to listen to my ex-boyfriend bitch and moan about how cursed he was." I let out a bitter laugh. "Oh how wrong I was."
Legolas's eyes bore into mine. "Explain to me about these 'time loops'."
I blinked and quickly looked down. Great. Now I've got him interested. Stupid stupid woman! "It happened the first time in Fangorn."
He frowned as I explained what happened and about the other times. When I was done he looked contemplative. "During those moments you seemed fine to the rest of us.. Although.."
"Although what?" I asked.
He released me. "It is nothing."
"Oh no you don't." I gave my best glare. "You do NOT get to pull that when it's about me."
The elf relented. "You would seem rather.. Cheerful. More at ease."
"HA!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm NEVER at ease. Here or home. I'm too paranoid for that." A chill swept over me and I shuddered. "Is that why you're talking to me? I mean, have I been talking to you?"
He nodded. "You have engaged in many conversations with us all."
"Damn damn damn!" I suddenly felt weak. I really was insane. My god. Multiple personality much? "What have I said?"
"Do you truly wish to know?"
I nodded. "Yes damn it!"
"You have been coming on.. Rather strongly."
"To who?" I braced myself for the answer I knew was coming.
"Both Aragorn and myself."
I let out a screech as a sudden realization dawned on me. "Oh you have to be kidding me!!!" I grabbed Legolas's arm. "Listen to me carefully. If I EVER act that way again, it's NOT me. Okay? Knock me out. Shoot me. Anything. Just.. get rid of me if I do it again."
Legolas looked completely shocked by that. "You can not ask me to do that."
I grabbed his cloak and pulled him closer. "Listen to me." I hissed. "I could screw up everything existence in this world. It takes all I have to hold back my wants and instincts as it is. When I'm having those time loops, I'm completely at mercy to something.. else. I could end up ruining more then Sauron ever could."
"How do you expect to do that?"
"I'm a Mary Sue." I said softly. "It's what we exist for. Chaos. Forced changes. To shape things in some other being's image." It amazed me at how easy it was to admit the following. "I'm not real here."
He arched an eyebrow. "Strange. Your grip feels real enough." His eyes fell to my hands that were still clutching his clothes.
Releasing him, I backed away. "Just.. trust me. Okay? I'm not real. Why do you think no one sees me unless it's convenient? Why Orcs completely ignore me. If I were real, I would have died in Moria." I started to laugh bitterly. "Maybe I'm not real in my world either. I'm probably a figment of someone's imagination. I might not exist anywhere. My life could be a total lie." That thought scared me and my eyes widened as I babbled on. "And when this story ends.. I won't exist anymore. Would I just go poof and tada, no more Lacey? Or would it be as if I never were around? Would anyone at home care? Would anyone at all? Maybe they don't exist either.. More lies. Illusions. What's real.. What's not.."
"That is enough!" Legolas exclaimed, ending my growing hysteria. "You are driving yourself mad."
"I was never too sane to begin with." I said quietly.
Legolas sighed. Wow, someone besides me sighing? A miracle! "Listen to me carefully. You are QUITE real, no matter what you may think."
"And how would you know?"
"Just believe me when I tell you." Legolas said.
"Is it an elf thing?"
He mulled that over, trying to figure out my meaning. He nodded slowly. "You could say that."
I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine. I'm real. Whoopee. Yay. Let's go celebrate by evacuating the place and hiding under tables in Helm's Deep."
"You will trust me then?" Legolas asked.
"Yeah yeah." I nodded. "I'll trust you. I'm adaptable. But if I snap and do something really stupid and don't remember it, I'm blaming you and feeding you to the nearest Uruk-Hai."
"I'll keep that in mind." Legolas replied dryly.
We walked in silence, and it wasn't until later that day that I noticed no voice had bothered me.