~* A/N: Jessica's bitching at me to write. I've got the Pippin action figure for inspiration. He is my muse. *~
While Saruman and Gandalf were talking, Jessica was gazing up at Legolas, those little cartoon hearts practically in her eyes. Oh, lord help us.
Gimli sat on the steps, inspecting his axe, and Aragorn stood by Gandalf's side. Pippin and Merry were watching, amazed. I was watching Pippin, but I had the dignity to not have cartoon hearts. For I am not a fangirl.
Legolas sighed, and pulled his daggers from his belt, twirling them slightly and resheathing them. I thought Jessica was going to fall over.
"Oh, for the love of god," I mumbled to myself, rolling my eyes and moving over to Legolas, striking up conversation. Jessica watched on, probably wondering how I got the ability to speak. It's called 'reading the books and not being a fangirl', for those of you who wonder.
"So.. Haldir?" I asked idly, raising my eyebrows. I wanted to determine if we were in the movies or in the books.
"What of him?" he responded, blinking and looking down to me.
"He still in Lothlorien?"
"Far as I know," replied the elf, sounding slightly confused. I grinned and nodded. Books.
Conversation died down when, thrown from a window above where Saruman was, something crashed to the ground, narrowly missing Jessica. Although, if it would've landed on her hair, it might've bounced back up to Wormtongue, who threw it from within Isengard.
"What is it?" asked Jessica, clinging to Legolas for comfort after her near-death experience.
"The palantir," I breathed, and reached down to pick it up, grinning as I peered inside.
And I saw something that I certainly did not expect.
"PORN?!" I cried out, throwing it down and letting it roll to Gandalf's feet. "Wormtongue was watching PORN up there?!"
I heard a shout of rage from Saruman, indicating that he'd realized what Wormtongue threw. Gandalf was mildly amused, picking up the orb and placing it for "safe keeping" (Yeah, right, old pervert) in a pocket of his robe.
"What's porn?" asked Pippin quietly after, blinking innocently. I grinned, looking up to Jessica and she groaned, shaking her head.
"No, Kristin.. a demonstration with the hobbit is NOT necissary."
"Aw, come on!"
"NO! I don't want to see any midgets running around naked."
"Like I want to see that pansy elf in the buff?"
"OH!" She shouted, jaw dropping and tackling me. "You're gonna die!"
"He's not a Midget, he's a HOBBIT!"
"Same difference, except for midgets have bigger di-"
"OH! Don't go there! I doubt that the elf even *has* one!"
We wrestled and kicked the crap out of each other for a few minutes, all the while shrieking and screaming at each other.
Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Gandalf, Pippin, and Merry stepped back, watching, matching frightened looks on their faces.
~* A/N: Me and Jessica almost just got into it while I was writing this. lol. I'll kick her ass. *~
While Saruman and Gandalf were talking, Jessica was gazing up at Legolas, those little cartoon hearts practically in her eyes. Oh, lord help us.
Gimli sat on the steps, inspecting his axe, and Aragorn stood by Gandalf's side. Pippin and Merry were watching, amazed. I was watching Pippin, but I had the dignity to not have cartoon hearts. For I am not a fangirl.
Legolas sighed, and pulled his daggers from his belt, twirling them slightly and resheathing them. I thought Jessica was going to fall over.
"Oh, for the love of god," I mumbled to myself, rolling my eyes and moving over to Legolas, striking up conversation. Jessica watched on, probably wondering how I got the ability to speak. It's called 'reading the books and not being a fangirl', for those of you who wonder.
"So.. Haldir?" I asked idly, raising my eyebrows. I wanted to determine if we were in the movies or in the books.
"What of him?" he responded, blinking and looking down to me.
"He still in Lothlorien?"
"Far as I know," replied the elf, sounding slightly confused. I grinned and nodded. Books.
Conversation died down when, thrown from a window above where Saruman was, something crashed to the ground, narrowly missing Jessica. Although, if it would've landed on her hair, it might've bounced back up to Wormtongue, who threw it from within Isengard.
"What is it?" asked Jessica, clinging to Legolas for comfort after her near-death experience.
"The palantir," I breathed, and reached down to pick it up, grinning as I peered inside.
And I saw something that I certainly did not expect.
"PORN?!" I cried out, throwing it down and letting it roll to Gandalf's feet. "Wormtongue was watching PORN up there?!"
I heard a shout of rage from Saruman, indicating that he'd realized what Wormtongue threw. Gandalf was mildly amused, picking up the orb and placing it for "safe keeping" (Yeah, right, old pervert) in a pocket of his robe.
"What's porn?" asked Pippin quietly after, blinking innocently. I grinned, looking up to Jessica and she groaned, shaking her head.
"No, Kristin.. a demonstration with the hobbit is NOT necissary."
"Aw, come on!"
"NO! I don't want to see any midgets running around naked."
"Like I want to see that pansy elf in the buff?"
"OH!" She shouted, jaw dropping and tackling me. "You're gonna die!"
"He's not a Midget, he's a HOBBIT!"
"Same difference, except for midgets have bigger di-"
"OH! Don't go there! I doubt that the elf even *has* one!"
We wrestled and kicked the crap out of each other for a few minutes, all the while shrieking and screaming at each other.
Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Gandalf, Pippin, and Merry stepped back, watching, matching frightened looks on their faces.
~* A/N: Me and Jessica almost just got into it while I was writing this. lol. I'll kick her ass. *~