A/N: I am catching hell from Jessica for not writing this weekend. I read Timeline by Michael Crichton instead. (Already a fic in the works about that!) Has anyone out there read that? It rocks! PS: Yes, I KNOW there are no trees in Isengard. Me and Jessica must be sitting under an Ent. Oh yeah - //thoughts//
Jessica gulped and moved toward Legolas, wracking her brain to try to remember something in Elvish (other than "Noro Lim" and "Havo dad") Bet she wished she'd paid more attention to me, right?
"I.." she started, and he looked up, blinking. "I am-amar pres...tar ae-aen?" she stumbled over the words. Legolas smirked.
"I do speak Common," he said gently, and Jessica offered a sheepish grin.
"I know."
"Then why do you try to speak words that your mortal tongue is ill-equipped to form?"
// Oh my god. Legolas is talking about my tongue. //
There was a lengthy pause, during which Jessica stared up at the elf, wide-eyed.
"My lady?"
~*~
I slid up beside Merry and Pippin, plan already forming itself in my head.
"Say, Master Took?" I asked, feigning a casual look, inspecting my nails. "Do you know a young hobbit lass, 'round your age, named Diamond? She is of Longcleeve."
He thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, I do not believe so."
// Purrrr-fect. //
"Oh, good," I went on, pretending to heave a sigh of relief. "It is said that she bewitches men, and then on the night of their honeymoon, cuts off their -"
~*~
"WANG!" shouted our friend Tim, as he walked through the mall. He had a habit of saying things like that out of nowhere. Anyway. He walked into the arcade, surprised not to see Jessica and I drooling over our favorite game (the dancey game!). Shrugging, he made his way to the back, pausing when he saw a new game.
"Lord of the Rings," he murmured, blinking and looking a bit closer. "Krissie will freak when she sees it. Huh. Looks like someone left in the middle of the game."
~*~
"Did you kiss him?" I asked, and Jessica grumbled, kicking a stone (because there are lots of THOSE at Isengard) and shaking her head 'no'. "Oh, come ON!"
"Have you kissed Pip?" she asked, pointedly, and I shrugged.
"No, but it's different. Kissing hobbits takes a lot of prep work. Much care must go into romancing them."
"For God's sake, Kristin," Jessica mumbled. "You don't have to romance anything that has a-"
~*~
"BIG HAIRY COCK!" shouted Tim in frustration - as he often does - as he tried to maneuver Gimli through the levels. Things were getting difficult at Helm's Deep. He couldn't see a damn thing over that brick wall, and ladders kept hitting him on the head.
~*~
"I sense that another approaches our plane," said Gandalf, quietly, leaning on his staff.
"Save us," muttered Aragorn, beside him. "Another one?"
Gandalf nodded, and Aragorn rolled his eyes.
"Let us hope this one doesn't drool over our friend the Elf quite as much as the other girl," muttered Gimli, shaking his yead.
A/N: Yea, yea, I take ideas from Austin Powers. You know you love it.
Jessica gulped and moved toward Legolas, wracking her brain to try to remember something in Elvish (other than "Noro Lim" and "Havo dad") Bet she wished she'd paid more attention to me, right?
"I.." she started, and he looked up, blinking. "I am-amar pres...tar ae-aen?" she stumbled over the words. Legolas smirked.
"I do speak Common," he said gently, and Jessica offered a sheepish grin.
"I know."
"Then why do you try to speak words that your mortal tongue is ill-equipped to form?"
// Oh my god. Legolas is talking about my tongue. //
There was a lengthy pause, during which Jessica stared up at the elf, wide-eyed.
"My lady?"
~*~
I slid up beside Merry and Pippin, plan already forming itself in my head.
"Say, Master Took?" I asked, feigning a casual look, inspecting my nails. "Do you know a young hobbit lass, 'round your age, named Diamond? She is of Longcleeve."
He thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, I do not believe so."
// Purrrr-fect. //
"Oh, good," I went on, pretending to heave a sigh of relief. "It is said that she bewitches men, and then on the night of their honeymoon, cuts off their -"
~*~
"WANG!" shouted our friend Tim, as he walked through the mall. He had a habit of saying things like that out of nowhere. Anyway. He walked into the arcade, surprised not to see Jessica and I drooling over our favorite game (the dancey game!). Shrugging, he made his way to the back, pausing when he saw a new game.
"Lord of the Rings," he murmured, blinking and looking a bit closer. "Krissie will freak when she sees it. Huh. Looks like someone left in the middle of the game."
~*~
"Did you kiss him?" I asked, and Jessica grumbled, kicking a stone (because there are lots of THOSE at Isengard) and shaking her head 'no'. "Oh, come ON!"
"Have you kissed Pip?" she asked, pointedly, and I shrugged.
"No, but it's different. Kissing hobbits takes a lot of prep work. Much care must go into romancing them."
"For God's sake, Kristin," Jessica mumbled. "You don't have to romance anything that has a-"
~*~
"BIG HAIRY COCK!" shouted Tim in frustration - as he often does - as he tried to maneuver Gimli through the levels. Things were getting difficult at Helm's Deep. He couldn't see a damn thing over that brick wall, and ladders kept hitting him on the head.
~*~
"I sense that another approaches our plane," said Gandalf, quietly, leaning on his staff.
"Save us," muttered Aragorn, beside him. "Another one?"
Gandalf nodded, and Aragorn rolled his eyes.
"Let us hope this one doesn't drool over our friend the Elf quite as much as the other girl," muttered Gimli, shaking his yead.
A/N: Yea, yea, I take ideas from Austin Powers. You know you love it.