Mac sat down in front of the CD player and read the titles on the album to
herself as the first track came on.
It was one that she recognised... "The Youth of Today," she murmured quietly, "Jason Bentley's favourite song. I don't see why," she muttered, turning the volume of the loud punk rock track down.
"Pessimist's Anthem, Cupid Must Really Hate Me, Unwanted, I Want To Die," she read, "Angst, angst. Fit In This Skin, Anywhere But Where I Am, Please Don't Leave Me Here, The Statue Crying Blood, Welcome To My World, Not Asking For Much. Man, this group have issues. I Don't Know, Homeless."
She stared at the CD in her hand.
"Why did I buy this?" she questioned. She was about to switch it off when the last track, a slightly subdued punk rock song called "Homeless" caught her attention. (A/N: Well it's almost the closest thing to a ballad I ever wrote!)
I hate them
I hate them both
Cuz they were never there
I hate them both
Cuz they didn't care
I never had a family
Cuz they really hated me
Shouting
Screaming
And me
Dreaming
Of getting away
Broken glass
And shattered dreams
All amidst my mothers screams
And I don't know what to say
Breaking
Dying
And me
Crying
Out in pain
Bloodstains
And hidden fears
I was left to cry my own tears
And no matter what the scars remain
I was lost
And I was alone
I was scared
And scarred for life
I was afraid
And I was hurt
I was angry
For what it's worth
But after all these years
And after all these tears
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
Drowning
Falling
And me
Crawling
On my knees
Destruction
And devastation
Promises, manipulation
And begging for mercy please
Hopeless
Broken
And me
Outspoken
But what for?
Deserted
Lost and forsaken
Do you know the time it's taken?
To end this war
I was lost
And I was alone
I was scared
And scarred for life
I was afraid
And I was hurt
I was angry
For what it's worth
But after all these years
And after all these tears
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
I hate them
I hate them both
Cuz they were never there
I hate them both
Cuz they didn't care
I never had a family
Cuz they really hated me
But there's something
Something inside of me
Something that they'll never see
Cuz I, I miss my family
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
She tried to move, to switch off the CD player, to play the song again, to do anything.
But she couldn't.
She was frozen in place, listening to the empty sound of silence.
Finally she managed a shocked whisper, "How did they do that?"
Still sitting there, staring straight through the scene in front of her, she felt ice cold, stunned at how personal the song was to her. It was like that REO Speedwagon song she'd become addicted to cuz it reminded her of Harm. (A/N: Is any other 13-year-old in the world a fan of REO Speegwagon? I am SO sad!)
Finally the phone rang, so she got up to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Mac, you are not going to believe what I just heard."
It was Chloe.
"Really?" she replied, smiling in amusement.
"Well you see, there's this band called the Juvenile Prophets right?"
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about."
"And they had this song called the Youth of Today. It's a really cool song and I personally don't know how it would drive you to suicide but anyways. This kid at boarding school or something, he killed himself and quoted that song in his note or whatever. Now his parents are suing the band."
"What?" Mac replied, "I mean I knew all the other stuff but I didn't know his parents where suing."
"How did you know?" Chloe questioned, "I just got it off their official fansite and that's the only place it's been released. I had to call you because all my friends are out of town and I had to tell somebody. Besides, we haven't talked in ages. Oh, and by the way, hello. I think I forgot to say that when you picked up the phone."
Mac smiled to herself, "Slow down for a second Chloe and I'll answer your question cuz I think this might interest you."
"Suspense, suspense, hurry up I'm dying already."
"That kid who suicided was called Jason R Bentley and he wasn't at boarding school, he was at military school. A navy military school. I got landed with the investigation, unfortunately. But I had know idea the parents where suing the band."
"So you have to find out why that guy hung himself or whatever?"
"Yeah. The Juvenile Prophets went to his school I think."
"I read somewhere that they went to military school I think."
"Yeah, well I think that's right I'm not sure. Anyway, because that kid had that song in his suicide note, I went out and bought the album."
"Really?" Chloe squealed, "What's your favourite song?"
"I haven't listened to all of them yet. They're very.. angry."
"Yeah, well my favourite is Not Asking For Much, but I reckon you'd like The Statue Crying Blood."
"I take it you're the authority on this matter?"
"Yeah. I love that album, I listen to it so much. Almost as much as I listen to my Avril Lavigne CD."
"You're making me feel old."
"Please tell me you know who Avril Lavigne is," Chloe said incredulously.
"I know who she is, I liked that I'm With You song of hers, but when I was your age I liked I don't know, people you've never heard of."
In the background, Mac heard Chloe's grandmother's voice.
"Mac, I have to go."
"Are you using the phone again when you're not supposed to?"
"Yeah."
"Chloe!"
"Gotta go bye!" she said as she hung up.
"Goodbye," Mac murmured to no one in particular, hanging up. Sitting in front of the CD player again she decided to listen to the song Chloe liked.
I just wanted to know ya
Get underneath your skin
Cuz I know you're amazing
But you won't let me in
I can sense you're intense
I can feel that you're real
But you have to hide
Everything inside
Shut it away
Lock it away
And never let it out
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
When you talk sometimes
I see the passion in your eyes
And for a second I see
What's under that disguise
I know that ya flow
Deeper than you believe
But you have to conceal
Everything you feel
Keep it from me
Hide it from me
You can't let it out
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
Just let me in
Stop shutting me out
Let me see
What you're about
Just let me in
Stop pushing me away
Let me see
Who you are today
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
Who are you inside?
I'm not asking for much
Just let me in
She fell asleep thinking about Harm.
* * * * * *
It was one that she recognised... "The Youth of Today," she murmured quietly, "Jason Bentley's favourite song. I don't see why," she muttered, turning the volume of the loud punk rock track down.
"Pessimist's Anthem, Cupid Must Really Hate Me, Unwanted, I Want To Die," she read, "Angst, angst. Fit In This Skin, Anywhere But Where I Am, Please Don't Leave Me Here, The Statue Crying Blood, Welcome To My World, Not Asking For Much. Man, this group have issues. I Don't Know, Homeless."
She stared at the CD in her hand.
"Why did I buy this?" she questioned. She was about to switch it off when the last track, a slightly subdued punk rock song called "Homeless" caught her attention. (A/N: Well it's almost the closest thing to a ballad I ever wrote!)
I hate them
I hate them both
Cuz they were never there
I hate them both
Cuz they didn't care
I never had a family
Cuz they really hated me
Shouting
Screaming
And me
Dreaming
Of getting away
Broken glass
And shattered dreams
All amidst my mothers screams
And I don't know what to say
Breaking
Dying
And me
Crying
Out in pain
Bloodstains
And hidden fears
I was left to cry my own tears
And no matter what the scars remain
I was lost
And I was alone
I was scared
And scarred for life
I was afraid
And I was hurt
I was angry
For what it's worth
But after all these years
And after all these tears
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
Drowning
Falling
And me
Crawling
On my knees
Destruction
And devastation
Promises, manipulation
And begging for mercy please
Hopeless
Broken
And me
Outspoken
But what for?
Deserted
Lost and forsaken
Do you know the time it's taken?
To end this war
I was lost
And I was alone
I was scared
And scarred for life
I was afraid
And I was hurt
I was angry
For what it's worth
But after all these years
And after all these tears
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
I hate them
I hate them both
Cuz they were never there
I hate them both
Cuz they didn't care
I never had a family
Cuz they really hated me
But there's something
Something inside of me
Something that they'll never see
Cuz I, I miss my family
I'm still homeless
Don't have a family
Cuz you know
They really
Hated me
I'm nameless
Unwanted
With a heart of stone
Forgotten
I'm child without a home
She tried to move, to switch off the CD player, to play the song again, to do anything.
But she couldn't.
She was frozen in place, listening to the empty sound of silence.
Finally she managed a shocked whisper, "How did they do that?"
Still sitting there, staring straight through the scene in front of her, she felt ice cold, stunned at how personal the song was to her. It was like that REO Speedwagon song she'd become addicted to cuz it reminded her of Harm. (A/N: Is any other 13-year-old in the world a fan of REO Speegwagon? I am SO sad!)
Finally the phone rang, so she got up to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Mac, you are not going to believe what I just heard."
It was Chloe.
"Really?" she replied, smiling in amusement.
"Well you see, there's this band called the Juvenile Prophets right?"
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about."
"And they had this song called the Youth of Today. It's a really cool song and I personally don't know how it would drive you to suicide but anyways. This kid at boarding school or something, he killed himself and quoted that song in his note or whatever. Now his parents are suing the band."
"What?" Mac replied, "I mean I knew all the other stuff but I didn't know his parents where suing."
"How did you know?" Chloe questioned, "I just got it off their official fansite and that's the only place it's been released. I had to call you because all my friends are out of town and I had to tell somebody. Besides, we haven't talked in ages. Oh, and by the way, hello. I think I forgot to say that when you picked up the phone."
Mac smiled to herself, "Slow down for a second Chloe and I'll answer your question cuz I think this might interest you."
"Suspense, suspense, hurry up I'm dying already."
"That kid who suicided was called Jason R Bentley and he wasn't at boarding school, he was at military school. A navy military school. I got landed with the investigation, unfortunately. But I had know idea the parents where suing the band."
"So you have to find out why that guy hung himself or whatever?"
"Yeah. The Juvenile Prophets went to his school I think."
"I read somewhere that they went to military school I think."
"Yeah, well I think that's right I'm not sure. Anyway, because that kid had that song in his suicide note, I went out and bought the album."
"Really?" Chloe squealed, "What's your favourite song?"
"I haven't listened to all of them yet. They're very.. angry."
"Yeah, well my favourite is Not Asking For Much, but I reckon you'd like The Statue Crying Blood."
"I take it you're the authority on this matter?"
"Yeah. I love that album, I listen to it so much. Almost as much as I listen to my Avril Lavigne CD."
"You're making me feel old."
"Please tell me you know who Avril Lavigne is," Chloe said incredulously.
"I know who she is, I liked that I'm With You song of hers, but when I was your age I liked I don't know, people you've never heard of."
In the background, Mac heard Chloe's grandmother's voice.
"Mac, I have to go."
"Are you using the phone again when you're not supposed to?"
"Yeah."
"Chloe!"
"Gotta go bye!" she said as she hung up.
"Goodbye," Mac murmured to no one in particular, hanging up. Sitting in front of the CD player again she decided to listen to the song Chloe liked.
I just wanted to know ya
Get underneath your skin
Cuz I know you're amazing
But you won't let me in
I can sense you're intense
I can feel that you're real
But you have to hide
Everything inside
Shut it away
Lock it away
And never let it out
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
When you talk sometimes
I see the passion in your eyes
And for a second I see
What's under that disguise
I know that ya flow
Deeper than you believe
But you have to conceal
Everything you feel
Keep it from me
Hide it from me
You can't let it out
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
Just let me in
Stop shutting me out
Let me see
What you're about
Just let me in
Stop pushing me away
Let me see
Who you are today
I'm not asking for much
Just let me look in your eyes
I'm not asking for much
Let me see who you are inside
Who are you inside?
I'm not asking for much
Just let me in
She fell asleep thinking about Harm.
* * * * * *