Daleria sighed raggedly as she view the carnage before her. It was done, but not without price. Fortunately, all of her closer friends had survived, though with injuries, were thankfully alive. Glamoren at that moment was conversing with Consellariel, Remora walking around congratulating some of the younger, and shell shocked, younger ones who survived, and Longrunn was heading her way, though he was pulling up numerous hares as he went. The foxes were all dead. After she had beheaded Seppak, it had taken less than half an hour to eliminate the rest of the foxes, and thus now the entire battlefield was one of destructive carnage. The slaughter on both sides was devastating. At least a hundred hares out of the five hundred strong force had gone down to the five hundred of the foxes. Surprisingly, none of Daleria's patrol had gone under, and for that she was grateful, but to know that she was one of the main causes of the massacre before her was pain enough. She was glad that it was over, true, but the outcome was less than exactly pleasant. War never was. Sighing again, she pulled her half dead self over the the sergeant, weary to the bone and stumbling slightly due to a wound on her leg. The sergeant, not exactly in mint condition himself, helped her along, asking in concern along the way.

'Are you all right Dale? That last play was quite amazing. You looked bally drained.'

'I am, 'Runn. I'm not exactly sure what came over me then, though. I'm too tired to care anyway.'

'Rapieratce would have been impressed.'

'Indeed? Come on. Let's just get back in the mountain.'

It was, however, unavoidable that the Lady Consellariel eventually made her way up to them, Glamoren and Remora in tow. Daleria immediately stiffened at the sight of her coming over towards her. The lady sighed deeply, seeing all too clearly the expression that was planted directly on Daleria's face. The captain looked away from her gaze. Consellariel raised a scarred paw.

'Peace, Daleria. Why must you hate me so? You know yourself that I could not move you away, nor try to rescue them, lest give them up totally. I tried to do the best that I could. I tried so hard. I do not know what I did wrong, but I know something went awry. Truly, Daleria, what was it?'

Daleria looked up at Consellariel in anger, thinking back to all the damage that had been caused. Anger was seething off her.

'What was it?! You left five innocent hares out in the open, right in the middle of the territory of a fox that could have easily killed them, had his will been to, and nearly got the colonel killed by not letting me go and try and right things out. That is what is wrong.'

Consellariel looked pleadingly over at Daleria, trying to get the stubborn captain to understand her point of view. The badger lady knew from the start that the captain would not have agreed to her plan of leaving the hostages where they were, and the aftermath of the disagreement was deeper than ever. Daleria had never been so angry with her before.

'Daleria, you know that there was no other way. Forgive me for my frankness on those days, but I had to put the rest of the mountain as my first priority. I could not just put all my thoughts on a way to get them away. Their safest position was in the most dire one.'

Daleria's eyes were blazing with an emotional fire.

'So you wanted them to be tormented by leaving them there?'

'No! You miss my point, captain. What I meant was that the five of them would have been safest if we had not interfered. Seppak would not have touched them.'

'But he did! Look at Rapieratce!'

Consellariel stopped responding then, and looked guiltily at Daleria for a moment. The captain sent a spiteful glare back in response to that action. The badger lady opened her mouth to speak, but Daleria raised a paw to stop her from going on further than that.

'Do not ask for forgiveness when you know that I cannot. Not now. I have been hurt too deeply, and the wounds are fresh. The sight around you should be enough to express what I must say. I have no pity for those that had no pity.'

Consellariel looked over to Remora and Glamoren, who were both standing at her side as they watched Daleria storm straight back to the mountain's interior, with Longrunn trailing after her in an effort to calm the hare captain down from her rage. The badger lady sighed heavily.

'What have I done to deserve this from her? All I want is to get her to understand that what I did was for the best. I would never have done such a thing in normal circumstance. You both know that I would never have. Yet Daleria refuses to accept it.'

Remora looked at the distant image of the captain stalking into the entrance of the mountain. Longrunn had stopped, obviously realizing that talking sense into the captain was going to be impossible in her current state.

'Daleria's like that, marm. She will take her own time to come to her right senses. Though, it would be better if Rapieratce were around to help her out here. He always manages to get some sense into the captain.'

'But Rapieratce is not in the right position to do so.'

*

Daleria strode heatedly into the mountain; rage boiling up in her like a volcano. She sensed Longrunn stopping behind her, but cared not. The captain stalked straight to her dorm, and washed herself to get rid of all the dirt and blood that she had attained over the battle. She winced as the water touched various open wounds, hissing slightly, but the anger inside of her was enough to make her ignore it. Consellariel was a fool not to let her go. She could have ended it. Rapieratce would not have been dying right them. Cosenet and the rest of the hostages would not have been in such a bad state if she had tried to stop it. But Consellariel would not consent her to do so.

You cannot blame the badger lady for this. Face your fears, Dale. You know that what happened would never have stopped even if you had been released from your hold. It could have even been worse.

But look at Rapieratce! Look at how he suffers now!

Put not the blame of your personal thoughts on others, Dale. Simply because you have feelings for the colonel does not mean that you can blame others for this.

I know… But still, something is not right. My friends are dying, it just is not correct. Everybeast I love is dead, or in this case, dying.

Seppak is the only to blame here Dale, and he is dead.

Yet I cannot give myself advice that I do not have, can I?

You need to talk to Rapieratce, Dale.

Rapieratce is dying.

A tear trickled down Daleria's face. Why must life always target on her? The suffering was bad enough, but each day, as she began more and more than the vicious parts of her life were then over, and that there was nobeast left to blame, that the truth was really real. The sudden realization that she had been able to elude for ten seasons. That her family was dead. Gone. That she was the only one left. That she was alone. The thought scared her, and it was that acute pain in her heart. That so much suffering, so much pain, and so much distraught was brought along by her. She had killed, without remorse, and nearly been killed. That she was now left to herself, alone in the world, with no aim in sight that would be able to take away the pain, the fear, the loneliness. That what had happened, really did happen. And if Rapieratce truly did not pull through, that she may never believe in herself ever again to become mentally sure of herself. That she might never be able to depend on somebeast again. Alone. The captain washed away the rest of the blood and threw on a new tunic.

*

The captain moved down noiselessly from her dormitory to the infirmary, brushing past hares, from medics to the injured, all the way back to the very last chamber of the infirmary, where the personal wards were. Daleria pushed one of the doors open. Rapieratce did not stir. The colonel was on the bed, still as death, unmoving and pale. And yet he lived. Daleria collapsed into a chair and shook silently, watching the colonel on the bed. What she needed now was some good, comforting advice, yet there was nobeast to offer it to her. Staring impassively forward, Daleria felt herself slip away, drifting off in her mind, leaving behind everything. The world became empty, and her mind wandered on the unknown paths that none went, seeking something, seeking something to keep her alive, to keep her sane, to keep her living. A need for a fuel, something to push her on. And yet she found nothing as she ran through the empty corridors of her mind, nothing that showed her peace. She tossed and turned in her internal torment, so hopeless and empty. Why did so many suffer because of her? Why did all her close friends, compatriots, family, companions, everybeast, somebeast that she loved, why did they suffer due to her? Was hope so far away as was salvation? Daleria did not know.

Wake up 'Atce. Please. Just wake up.

*

Three days had passed by. Nobeast had yet managed to pull Daleria out of her reverie and away from the infirmary. She had not eaten, drunk nor moved. She was paling to the point of death. Remora and Glamoren talked as they walked towards the infirmary, thinking of trying to get Daleria to understand. Both knew they would fail, but nonetheless, it might be good for the captain to keep some company.

'That un's not going to survive very much longer at this rate. Somebeast needs to talk some sense into her.'

'You know that Dale doesn't listen to us, Moren.'

'I know verily well, Mora. That captain only seemed to be kept under control by 'Atce.'

'Too true. Then again, 'Atce always had a good control over others. Something about him, I suppose.'

'That's why he's a colonel. And why she loves him, I suppose.'

'And most unfortunately, why he's dying.'

'Rapieratce's conscience is indeed one that keeps him morally one of the highest in this mountain. Never will give in, he will. He'd better wake soon, or Dale'll kill herself first. I don't think she'll pull through if he does not.'

*

Rapieratce woke up to a dizzy inferno in his head. His head pounded like no tomorrow, his shoulder throbbing madly, his ribs sore, and his felt strangely light Blinking slightly, he shook his head in confusion for a while before realizing he was in the infirmary. Memories flooded back to him, and he settled down for a while to interpret everything that had happened. Daleria saw him stir, and stared as if not believing herself. It should not have been possible. He was meant to be bead. Croaking out in a parched voice, she said,

'Atce…?'

Rapieratce looked over and saw a familiar tear stained, pale, lifeless face staring back at him. Sitting up, ignoring the intense pain flaming up, he asked,

'Dale? Why on earth are you looking so bally drained for?'

Daleria did not care. She threw herself onto him and wept for the joy. Rapieratce let her, relief flooding through himself as he felt life return to him once again. He pulled Daleria up by her shoulders.

'So it is done?'

Daleria nodded. Fresh tears had sprung up.

'Why did you take the arrow for me? Why did you have to be such a fool?'

Rapieratce raised an eyebrow at the captain.

'A fool? I save your life and you call me a fool?'

'You scared me so. I thought you would die. You were so close to doing so.'

'I already promised you, Dale. I do not lie, nor break my promises.'

'I was so afraid. So afraid that I would be alone. Like so many times before. Like my family and Clandestine. Like everybeast else who had gone and never said goodbye. It was so frightening. Something that I've never been able to face up to before. I don't want that anymore.'

Rapieratce kissed her on the forehead gently.

'You fear far too much, Dale. Let life come as it will. You need not fear anymore. There are many of us who will help you. You know we will.'

Daleria simply let herself cry onto his shoulder.

*

The brigadier and the major entered the infirmary to nearly delirious sobbing and cries. It looked as if the colonel had managed to pull through after all, and was then trying to calm the captain beside him down. Daleria, however, had other ideas of calming down. The colonel sighed at her in frustration.

'Calm down, Dale. I'm perfectly fine!'

'Fine? How can you say that? You're injured nearly everywhere, you've been in here for four days without stirring, got poisoned, and you say you are fine?!'

'Dale, I'm alive, breathing, and bally well talking to your insolent self, and I think that considers me as fine.'

Daleria finally managed to calm herself down slightly, enough to stop annoying Rapieratce with various questions about his health at least. Taremin raised an eyebrow at her. Even she was not as concerned as Daleria was. Remora and Glamoren entered the ward. Glamoren raised an eyebrow at Rapieratce.

'What took you so long?'

*

A week had then passed since Rapieratce awoke, and things had thus proceeded smoothly from there, to the captain's immense relief. The colonel had gradually recovered his health to the fullest, much to the relief of all on the mountain, and slowly, things started to return to some form of rather strange normality. Of course, all the hares on the mountain were recovering from the grievous losses of the war that had come and passed, but it was over and done with, and now all were starting to readjust back to normal everyday life. Daleria, however, was still loath to forgive Consellariel. The captain had successfully evaded the badger lady the entire time, and Consellariel knew better than to try and get the insolent captain to listen. The badger lady knew it was best to let Daleria cool down, though the captain was not showing any intention of doing so anytime in the near future. However, the badger lady already had her paws full of the affairs concerning the battle, and thus had little, if no, time to linger on the personal relations between the two of them. She left it to the colonel to try and talk sense into Daleria. In the time that had passed, Daleria and Rapieratce had only grown closer than ever, and thus maybe the inkling of hope that some sense or another could be transferred over to the captain. The captain in question was currently wandering aimlessly around the mountain on her day off, since all the vigorous daily training had been stopped and all had returned to the slower pace of once per week. She roamed the corridors silently, pondering over all that had happened, her feet taking her where they willed, as she passed by halls, rooms, the infirmary, the kitchen, moving for the sake of not staying still.

You cannot blame Consellariel forever, Dale. As much as you wish to hide from your reality, you know that you will never be able to evade this forever. Understanding and acceptance is the step you must take in order to find the peace in your heart that you now crave. You know it.

But still. Consellariel was evil to do so. Nay, I would not say- think, evil, rather cruel. The trauma the five must have endured must have been great. I know how they feel now. I have been where they are now. It is not a situation many would like to be in.

You use an excuse that is not feasible, Dale. You know that beyond anything that Consellariel could have done that it most likely would have ended up much worse than this if the badger lady had taken any other route. It is as good as it gets to get the five of them out of the impossible fray alive.

Still. I cannot let myself forgive her so easily. Not yet. Not while everything that I had left was almost tilted over and had almost lost balance.

You still hide from the inevitable. Do not try to deny this so much, Daleria. As much as you wish it, Clandestine and the rest are never coming back. Rapieratce already survived. Face it now, and never will it plague you again.

Alas that I have not the courage to do so now.

Alas indeed.

Daleria returned to her dormitory, and reached out for her old journal. It had come from the seven seasons in Mossflower, and many memories, some good, some bad, some fond, and others she felt worth not remembering at all were stored in those pages. It was precious to her heart. The captain dropped down onto the bed and leafed through the pages, looking for nothing in general, simply revelling in old recollections, letting herself drift back to old friends and brief stays, the many that she had met over her travels. As she continued, she felt herself wander down the north path, down the shady areas of Mossflower, drifting endlessly on the road until Redwall Abbey came full into view. She smiled upon the memory, remembering herself, travel worn, just about lost in unfamiliar territory, desperate to the point of near exhaustion, stumbling straight into the paws of the kind Redwallers and the abbess. Daleria wondered down the hallways, the Great Hall, Cavern Hole, the great kitchens with the massive ovens, the cheerful dibbuns that would hopefully live to grow up differently from her and have a more pleasant childhood than her own. She recalled the old library, the gatehouse, so full of various tales, myths, legends, stories and other material that had her cooped up there for hours, reading for the joy of being alive. Daleria brought herself back to one of the nights that she had stayed upon the battlements, to see the living stars emerge out of the dusk and spawn gently into the deepening night sky. Those were the happier days. Closing her journal and slipping it back into her shelf, the captain lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with nothing better to do. Slowly, sadder things returned to her. She remembered the fear, the hate, the disbelief that she had encountered on that fateful night, the pounding of the blood in her ears as she had run, desperate and scared, through the vast plains of the Western Plains, stumbling across the spanning horizon as she hurtled away from the carnage of what was her home, her very memory blurred with emotion and misted over from hate and fear. The sight of her family dying, of Vaxial's merciless actions and his piercing gaze, of Waleb, trailing along the paths of memory that had brambles and thorns littered around them. She remembered being a foolish young hare, completely unprepared for the world that lay around her, the spinning dizziness of familiar grief descending upon her night after night until she welcomed the emotion to her as a control, to keep the world in place. Indeed, she felt grief so often that she then took to it, clinging to it, absorbing it each night as it visited her, the tearing emotion that would never change. Daleria learnt to love it, and she had cried until her eyes could water no more during those dark days of which hope was like a fleeting shadow that ran away once you set eyes upon it. All that she had loved, all that she had felt so safe among, had disappeared. It had so almost happened again, and Daleria thanked the fates that Rapieratce by some miraculous chance had pulled through and made it back into the world of the living.

All the screaming, shouting, blood, gore, disrupted images from past and present melded together into a nightmare that wreaked havoc upon her mind, and Daleria felt the same sense of hopelessness that she had felt so many times before descend upon her again. It would take many nights, seasons' maybe, to piece together her life all over again. The captain only hoped that this time, it would not fall apart all over again, like it had too many times for her to feel safe.

*

'Atce…?'

The time was late. Very late. The stars twinkled in the mezzanine between the dead of the night and that of the morning. A further week had passed since the last. The colonel turned over from his side position on his bed and looked groggily over to his door, throwing on a tunic next to his beside in the process. Squinting, he recognized the voice through the darkness as that of the captain's.

'Dale? Wot on earth are you doing here?'

Rapieratce struck a flint and lighted a candle on his table, picking it up by its holder and walking over to his door and lifting it up to eye level. Daleria stood there, looking extremely unsettled. The past week had been ridden with memories, thoughts inside her head that were beginning to get unbearable. She had hoped to talk to Rapieratce, and get some advice that she genuinely needed right them. Rapieratce looked worriedly over at her, noticing her predicament, motioning to get the captain into his room, shutting his door gently behind her. Daleria stood there, waiting for him to acknowledge her. The colonel raised a questioning eyebrow at her before motioning to his bed, of which she sat down on. Rapieratce set his down on his table and sat down next to her.

'Wot's wrong, Dale?'

Daleria looked despairingly over to him, recalling all the bad memories, dreams, nightmares that seemed to haunt her at every corner of the night. It was driving her insane, beyond the point of words. She badly wanted to put a stop to all the madness.

'I do not know, 'Atce. At least not truly, and if so, not thoroughly enough. And that's what's worrying me, 'Atce, to no end. I can't sleep at night, but I don't know why! It's killing me! I can't live like this… It's like a bottomless emotion, driving me crazy. It's like living everything all over again. From… From my family… and Clandestine. And the war. All the way up-… to you. It's mixing up into a boiling creation, tearing at me. I need to get out of here, 'Atce. At least for a day. Away from Salamandastron. From Consellariel. And the war, 'Atce… It's getting worse.'

Rapieratce looked over at her, examining her. Daleria was looking desperate and sorrowful, worried by thoughts and haunted by dreams. It was as if she really needed to get away for a short time. The captain, in his opinion, had been in need of one for a long time. A time far too long overdue.

'Dale… How long has this been going on, m'gel?'

Daleria shrugged offhandedly, trying to wave off his question.

'Not long.'

'Dale.'

Rapieratce looked evenly over her, his green eyes scanning her own black ones with ferocious intent, roving like an intent eagle, boring down into her very heart. The captain knew that he knew her fat too well for her to lie to him. Rapieratce sighted at her softly, knowing that Daleria's problem might lead to something very dangerous for her. The captain was fragile enough, sore from wounds yet unhealed in her heart, and the fact that Daleria knew that her emotions were tangled only made her hide them even more.

'You don't have to lie, Dale. You can't.'

Daleria glared at the colonel, but he only smiled slightly. Daleria felt her spirits lift slightly, but she frowned again as she recalled her memories, haunting her. She gathered her knees up to her chin and rested her head there. Rapieratce let her take her time, knowing Daleria well enough.

'I'm so confused, 'Atce. Why can't I just let it all fade away? I don't want to live like this! I just want to put it all behind me and start again. It's crashing down on me, all that I kept hidden away all these seasons. The reality of it, that they're not coming back. That I don't have a family anymore. That I'm alone. It's so hard, 'Atce, to sit in the dark, staring up at the ceiling trying to piece you life back together. To try and console myself with something that is not there, Why, 'Atce? Why…?'

Tears trickled a slow path down her face. Rapieratce wiped them away.

'Whatever is done is done, Daleria. You cannot dwell on that anymore. Look to the future, and of what you have now.'

'I'm so scared, 'Atce… So scared…. What if I loose everything all over again.'

'You won't, Dale. I won't let you.'

Daleria smiled slightly at him. Rapieratce looked out his window watching the path of the stars dip even lower.

'You'd better go, y'know. If we're found like this, Consellariel is going to murder. As to the want of you to get away from Salamandastron for a time, I am quite sure that Jemerian's Jubilee over at Redwall is coming up soon.'

Daleria's face immediately lit up. The thought of seeing her old friend again appealed to her immensely.

'Old Jemerian?'

The colonel nodded, and Daleria looked pleadingly over at him. Rapieratce laughed softly and kissed her lightly, sending her out of his room.

'I'll see what I can do. Go off now, Dale. Get some sleep. Don't say you don't want to, Dale. Go!'

Daleria frowned at him, but went out all the same. Rapieratce chuckled, closed his door, blew out his candle and went back to sleep.

*

The day was already light, and had been for the past five hours. There was a knock on Rapieratce's door. Without looking up from his position at his desk, Rapieratce dipped his quill into a bottle of ink, responding automatically.

'Enter.'

Somebeast entered, but Rapieratce was intent on penning down whatever he was doing first. A few seconds later, he looked up.

'Dale? Wot are you doing here?'

Daleria shrugged absently.

'I was bored?'

'Nice try, Dale.'

'Fine! I just wanted to know a bit more about Jemerian's Jubilee!'

Rapieratce looked up at Daleria and laughed softly.

'You really are quite eager to go, aren't you? Don't worry, Dale. The Guosim shrews that sent the message are down in the halls. They're staying over until we can send somebeast or two over with them to Redwall. Go talk to them, wot, and I'll try to wheedle with Consellariel to let you go. She's rather worried about you, y'know.'

'The badger lady? I still haven't forgiven her for letting them stay. And for leaving you out in the open.'

Rapieratce set down his quill and looked over to her.

'You cannot blame her, Dale. Sometimes, as military beasts, you should know that we have to make sacrifices over out consciences. Consellariel was only doing that.'

'It was still cruel.'

'Look at yourself, Dale. You weren't exactly merciful to that fox. The badger just wanted to do the best for a whole mountain full of hares, y'know. Forgive her, Dale. More strain has been on Consellariel than any of us. You cannot put the blame of your loss upon her.'

Daleria sighed at his words, knowing full well that Rapieratce spoke the truth. Rapieratce eyed her levelly for a moment. Daleria gazed straight back at him. Something in his eyes told her that what he said was the truth, not some propaganda of any sort, and even her own conscience told her that it was wise for her to heed him. Rapieratce knew she understood, thus bent his head and turned to his work, scratching at the parchment about a nunnery in Mossflower stumbling upon a family of voles. The colonel noted it down and traced it on a map, marking and labelling the spot. Not looking up, he waved a free paw at the captain.

'Off you go. You'll find out more from the shrews. And Consellariel is always there for when you need her.'

Daleria glared at him, and Rapieratce smiled down at his papers. Daleria nodded to him, and made move to exit, but Rapieratce looked up suddenly.

'Hang on a bit, Dale. Catch!'

Rapieratce threw the captain a sheaf of papers, which Daleria caught. Raising a questioning eyebrow at the colonel, she eyed the papers warily. Rapieratce explained.

'Papers of reports. Do me a favour and file yours. Please.'

'Atce! You know I hate paperwork.'

'Please…?'

'Atce. You never plead.'

'I made an exception. Please. Do me a favour. I'm going under all the after war paperwork.'

Daleria scowled at him, but took the papers.

'I hate you.'

*

Rapieratce knocked on Consellariel's door, receiving a muffled enter in return. The colonel entered, saluted, and then sat down in a chair in front of the badger lady. Consellariel raised an eyebrow at him, and the colonel placed a piece of parchment on the badger lady's table.

'M'lady. The Guosim shrews of which you must have been informed of have brought a notice from Redwall. Jemerian, the Abbess, is celebrating her Jubilee, and has requested the presence of some of our hares at the celebrations.'

Consellariel nodded at him.

'Any you propose…?'

Rapieratce leaned back and sighed heavily.

'Daleria has been troubled of late. She has expressed a wish to let leave of the mountain for a while, and I thought it would be good for her to take leave of the mountain for some time to lax off. She has been under much stress, marm.'

Consellariel nodded again.

'Very well. Accompany her, Rapieratce. Bring Glamoren, Remora and Longrunn with you.'

Rapieratce nodded, waiting for dismissal. Consellariel withdrew a piece of parchment from a drawer, penned something down, and then sealed it. Handing it to the colonel, she gave him further instructions.

'Look after the captain, colonel. She has been hit rather hard by the war. She will not listen to me, not that I would blame her, had I been in her position. Try to talk to her, Rapieratce. Maybe you will get her to see. She listens to you more than anybeast else.'

'Yes marm. The Guosim are leaving the morn after the next. Do we leave with them?'

'Yes. It would be well. You should arrive in less than a week, in that case. Ask the head Log-a-Log if you might take a trip back after the winter.'

Rapieratce lifted his eyes to the badger lady's, question ringing through his green depths.

'You mean to let us stay an entire half season there?'

'The captain needs it. Besides, a half season is not too long time. Dismiss.'

*

Daleria had been elated when she had heard that Rapieratce had somehow or another managed to attain her leave to go to Redwall for the celebration along with the others, and even more so when she had heard of the unusually long period that was allotted to them. Rapieratce smiled knowingly at the happy captain, who had abandoned her food almost immediately when she had heard the news, but still shook his head slightly as he sat himself next to her in the officer's mess.

'You should still go and clear things up with Consellariel though, Dale. It is not an affair that you should give time to worsen. It might turn out for the worse for the both of you.'

Daleria stiffened slightly at his suggestion, then sighed slightly and cast her eyed away from his. Rapieratce raised an eyebrow at her as he set his fork down to give the captain his full attention.

'Why are you so afraid of repenting and admitting that you were wrong and simply expressing that you are sorry?'

Daleria shrugged sadly, trying to portray what she felt into words, though she still found it immensely difficult..

'I have no idea, 'Atce. It's just the fear, I suppose. Knowing that it's... over. It's so strange. So empty, I suppose, compared to what I went through prior to this. Nobeast to hate anymore. It's very hard to adapt to such peace.'

Rapieratce looked at her sharply as she finished, eyeing her with slight suspicion. Daleria refused to meet his eyes, focussing instead on pushing her food around before shoving it down.

'So you intent to settle your more abusive emotions against the lady?'

Daleria immediately shook her head at the mere suggestion, laughing slightly, even.

'You misinterpret me, 'Atce. I may be ruthless sometimes, but please, question not my honour. I hold no grudge against the lady. Simply a misunderstanding that my heart is not eager to let go of. 'Tis a hard thing to explain.'

Rapieratce sighed at her in aggravation.

'You are so stubborn sometimes, Dale, I really don't know what to do with you.'

Daleria laughed slightly then smirked at him.

'Fine, oh valiant and righteous Rapieratce, I shall attempt to drag my insolent self over to the lady's quarters later.'

Rapieratce laughed a little at her in return, before finishing up his food then trudging unwilling back to his office and the mass of work that he was reluctant to acknowledge. Daleria cleared her own plate soon after, before retiring to her dormitory to think her situation over, and of what to say to the badger lady. Dropping down onto her bunk, she stared up at the ceiling above her as if wanting some inspiration to come from it. No such luck, and soon her mind began to wander slightly.

How that confounded colonel manages to talk me into doing things I never otherwise would have is getting quite out of hand. I must get myself back at him later.

Indeed?

I thought my conscience was over with me already?

Think about it. You still have something going on with Consellariel. I'm here to replace Rapieratce by pushing you to the point of immense guilt to go to the badger lady.

Mossflower save me now.

Reluctant as she was, Daleria knew that she was going to have to move sooner or later. Thinking her situation over carefully, she looked back on all the past happenings and realized that she had indeed had been a fool to put all her frustrations upon Consellariel. It was an act that must have seemed utterly incredulous to anybeast who did not know her. The captain cursed her own stubbornness and hot headedness, but was grateful that Consellariel still had the patience and compassion to put up with her attitude rather than pound her and cast her off the mountain. One day, she was going to have to pound some sense into herself not to act so rashly when ever occasions such as this cropped up, hard though it might be. It might save her from some unwanted situations such as this.

Finally taking things upon herself to get up, Daleria pulled herself up a floor to Consellariel's quarters. Taking a deep breath as she stopped outside the badger lady's door, she prepared herself for the ugly affair that was going to happen not long after. It took all the will inside of her to knock on the door and not to run away and hide in some unknown dark corner that nobeast knew of. Consellariel's by then trademark "enter" reached her ears, and the hare nervously pushed the door open and walked in, saluting to the badger lady in the process. Consellariel saw her, and immediately put down what she had previously been doing.

'Daleria? What brings you here?'

'Well, marm... Rapieratce has been talking to me the past few weeks, and I suppose I have to admit that I have been quite the inconsiderate fool in this matter. I apologize for my rather... difficult behaviour these past few weeks.'

To Daleria, the words sounded stupid even as they left her mouth. She felt like melting and flowing away. Consellariel looked at her for a moment, surprise evident on her striped face.

'Well, captain, this is a surprise. I'm merely glad that this matter is clear of. In return, I suppose that I myself must be criticized for the fact that I had done some rather unnecessary actions on my part as well. It must have been severely hard on you. I must say that I do not blame you for you behaviour towards me on any part.'

Daleria breathed out a mental sigh of relief.

'I am glad myself, marm. More than I can say.'

*
Daleria shivered slightly against the cold December wind, pulling her long sleeved jacket closer around her to shut out the prodding cold. Rapieratce did not seemed overly affected, letting his outer jacket go unbuttoned while the rest of the crew from Salamandastron froze. Daleria suspected that he was part alien. He was too... perfect. Not that she was going to complain. They, as in the colonel, brigadier, sergeant and herself, were sitting in a Guosim log boat, halfway down the river Moss and on their way to Redwall. The thought alone brought a smile to her face. Redwall. What a marvel, the red sandstone walls, hued in the colour of rust and that of the russet apple. The large corridors, the cosy ambience, a complete wonder of peace and tranquility inside a practical safe haven for all who would acknowledge it. Friends of old were their, dear to her as anybeast could be, and furthermore, Daleria longed to see the dibbuns, friends of hers of which she mingled with considerably the last time she was there. There was also the issue of the food. The stunning amount of fare the Redwallers could conjure up in their massive stone ovens and giant kitchens was positively alarming, not that the captain was complaining. The vittles were as good as they could get in Redwall. The company to share the fare with was even better. Talks and debates in the great hall were common, mostly amusing and drawing humorous points from everybeast as much as they surfaced wise words of wisdom. Daleria clearly remembered one speech that Jemerian had directed to her.

There are many things in this world that should have been yours, and many will come to you also. Have grief for those that you have lost, but do not mourn you life as empty. There will be times where the path will not be as clear, not as smooth, and also times when the fog will engulf you and your senses. It will confuse, mislead and misguide you. But if you have faith, in you as your being here, as you in your living of your life and destiny, as you in the mingle of the roar of the waves, swimming onward, you will reach your path, may it lead off the beaten track, through the mud, and cross the bramble, as long as you listen to your heart, you will find a way. You will be helped, aided, counselled as much as you may be deceived, for there are many in life who have more wisdom than yourself, and many more that would be willing to give it. Do not be as rash or hot headed as you can be, but rather think, be it not as often as most, of what you are, and what you can be, and what you will do that will affect all others in this strange world. Think not but a minute, not but an hour, but think a day, and within that day, the sun may dip beyond the western horizon, and moon may rise, like a sickle, cutting the sky, but you will know that the next dawn approaches, as the next day in your life, a next chapter in your story. You will learn to appreciate what has been given to you, may it seem unfair in your eyes, there will be many things that you will face, that nobeast else in history will, and that will be your test. You cannot be guided, you cannot be led, but as it is, you cannot be deceived. It will be you, and your conscience, and from there, it will be to your life, your experiences, your doubts, your fears, your ambitions, your achievements, your confidence and your very soul, that penetrates, deeper than the sharpest knife could cleave, lower than the hardiest mole could delve, and wiser, wiser than the wisest will ever be, for it will be your soul, your heart, your mind. It will merge, one day, and confuse you, and lead you on a path that is not any other. A path, which you must walk, without the tracks to go, and only your heart to guide you, only your head to warn you, only you soul, to feed you, only your being to take you, only yourself to lead, or mislead you. For someday, somehow, you will find, there will no longer be such a thing as fair, because in your eyes, you will dominate all your senses, and one day take control, of your heart, body and soul, until nothing seems shallow, nothing seems bounded, for everything has a way, a time, a place. It is not for you to decide who might live, breathe, or who might die and fade away, it is only their being who will say, and their truth which betray them, and guide them to your blade. It is not you whom they should blame, yet it is not them of who you should hold guilt to. Neither of you is to blame. For everything under this sky, will take the test. It will show, which path you will yourself on, something you are deemed to do, in your mind, or is it something you wanted to do in your heart, or something you were forced to do in your body? If you see, you will find, evil chose to be evil, it was not forced, it did not relent to some greater force, and it did not let itself be pushed, nor shoved, into being evil, because evil chose that path. The seed of evil chose to be sown into chaos and power and greed and misery for the sake of what it craved, more than we crave, for they crave power, and wealth, and dominance over all others, and they choose to do it through forces to their own liking, for they blinded, by themselves, by theirs hearts, by their own soul, that it was the better path, the speedier, the proper, the equivalent of majesty. Evil chose to black, but others chose to be white. Good chose the path it takes, not because it did not want to be evil, for there is nothing such evil in an untainted soul nor something such as good. It is a path, shadowed on all sides, a shadow that is only broken by you walking past it and shining you inner light onto it. For in your soul, you will lead yourself to the lightest part of the shadow in your mind, and from there your heart will then show you the way. And while you walk that path, you will find that there is still not track, nothing to lead you, nothing to stop you, and that by any means, you can turn from your alighted path, choose another road, and live another way. Evil, will never truly be evil, until their paths stops in evil, and that is only in death, or the corruption of the total soul, when they find no other guide, and their light will not allow them to see any more from where they have stopped. And death is not for anybeast to deal out. Do not be quick to think that you can give out judgement as you please. My heart leads me not to your sword, and you, and you do not lead your sword to me, for you see me not as evil, and my heart, does not see you as evil to me. So do not be quick or hasty in your life, to plough through the shadow. For even the most evil, the vilest of all creatures has a heart and a light that can be turned. But in his mind, in his mind, it is not for us to meddle nor corrupt. For you, and only you, can take a path other than your own, and only counsel may shift it, be it only the slightest. But like an angle, in the long run, you run that appointed angle, and you find that the difference from the path you might taken is great, though the angle you shift is small. All are like this. Do not think your life is dominated by a path. You simply choose, it could a path, a journey, whatever you minds eye puts it to be, but we simply live, and we carve out another day out of our lives, thus we are carving another chapter in our book, another league in our road, another leg in our journey. We do not simply cut off from our path. You would not slay me, but you would slay Vaxial, for in your mind, in your control, you see Vaxial as the enemy. But consider this. Vaxial also thinks likewise of you.

Daleria smiled to herself. How right the abbess was. Trailing her left paw through the water, she let the scenery change her, from the seamless sands of the western shore to the bountiful greenery of Mossflower. She was leaning back on the colonel, feeling very contented simply lying there in the log boat. Everything was at peace. The captain could not wait to reach Redwall. The colonel looked down at her, murmuring slightly, his eyes glazed over slightly.

'Consellariel would never approve of this, y'know.'

Daleria twisted around to look up at Rapieratce. The colonel cast his eyes away from hers.

'What do you mean?'

'I'm a colonel. I'm not meant to have any overly close personal relationships. At least not within term. It's supposed to not affect my judgement.'

'I couldn't care less, 'Atce. Consellariel can throw that rule out the window.'

'You make it sound so easy, Dale. I might get suspended from office because of this.'

'Consellariel wouldn't dare.'

'I don't know, Dale, not truly. The rules are clearly stated. As a colonel I was brought up to closely obey all of the rules, especially those set for me. Galde for one would not be too happy at my current state of affairs. Rules aren't the bally easiest thing for me to overrule.'

Daleria snuggled only closer to Rapieratce. She was far too contented to let such a trivial thing such as rules spoil her day, even though she felt her conscience nag at her. She could deal with the problem later.

'Too bad for you, then.'

*

Three Days On

*

The company of Guosim shrews and Salamandastron hares had been trudging through the density of inner Mossflower for a day since they had landed the shrew log boats, and finally, Redwall began to come into sight. Daleria broke out into an all out smile as she watched the sandstone abbey grow in size and majesty as their neared. She heard the ringing of the bells, Methuselah and Matthias, and knew that they had been spotted. The abbess might come out to receive them, even, if they were fortunate enough, which Daleria dearly hoped they would be. What would she give to see her old friend as soon as she could.

*

'Jemerian!'

Daleria flew ahead of the pack of Guosim and Salamandastron hares, hugging her old friend fiercely. The abbess laughed slightly.

'Daleria! It is good to see you well. I was hoping that you would be able to make it here, my friend.'

'You doubted that I actually wouldn't?'

The two friends laughed together. It felt good, back in familiar yet different a territory. Many of her other friends from Redwall were also coming out to greet them. A young squirrel in particular, barely out of dibbunhood, rushed up to her. Daleria gasped when she saw him.

'No! This cannot be the Thrush that I left behind a few mere seasons ago!'

The squirrel grinned and clambered nearly on top of her in an heated embrace. The hare captain got thrown to the ground, eliciting much laughter from those around them. Rapieratce watched with a raised eyebrow. Her old companion when she was at Redwall, Thrush, the dibbun who had got himself lost during the berry picking and stumbled upon her, lost in Mossflower. It had been near impossible to separate the two of them at her stay at the great sandstone abbey. It felt wonderful. It made her feel so alive. Like nothing could get in her way, or turn her down. Like tomorrow would erase everything that had happened, and all would be good again. Truly to live, and live with purpose. A simple, yet unrestrained and bold feeling. Something freedom would envy. Daleria struggled up, pushing Thrush playfully off her, finally composing herself enough to introduce her fellow members from Salamandastron who were all waiting, slightly bemused. Nodding to Jemerian, she started.

'This,'

Daleria pointed to Rapieratce,

'is colonel Rapieratce, the only current hare who has been able to best me in swordplay, of which I assure you, he will get heavily abused for. You may have met him before, the last time I was here. Highest ranking hare on the mountain currently being abused by yours truly, and somebeast I seem to be far too overly attached to for my own good.'

Daleria had to duck a swipe to a head for the last two comments. Moving on, she pointed to Remora.

'Second highest ranking, though I still prefer torturing 'Atce to Remora here. Brigadier with a sense of humanity, something you don't find too often in me. If you ask me, something is going on between her and Glamoren.'

There, she had to dance away from a seething brigadier and a equally as mad major who were both ready to murder her. Laughing at Glamoren, who scowled at her, she went on,

'Calm down, I was only jesting! The major here, who is trying to behead me, is the south pawed Glamoren, whom I have awarded my personal degree in fooling around with Rapieratce. Only other hare besides me who dares to, at any rate.'

Finally reaching Longrunn, she finished off.

'Sergeant Longrunn, first person in my patrol to knock sense into me. Wonderful job he does. Not very well paid, save for me biting his head off every now and then, and the access dump of boring councils that I never bothered to attempt attending. That, my friends, is the lot of jolly fools me and my friends are. For those that can't remember me, woe to you. I'll behead you when I have the time.'

Laughing, thus, the contingent of shrews and hares were led into Redwall.

*

'No!'

'Yes.'

'No! Captain Daleria Windbind, if you think you are going to talk me into doing this, you are absolutely out of your bally mind. No matter how much I love you, there is no way in Mossflower I'm going to do this.'

'No, I'm not out of my mind, and yes you are going to do this. Be it if I have to do so by force. And why are you so special that you use my last name?'

'Because I am. What are you going to do, push me into the meadowcream?'

'Don't tempt me, sah.'

'Don't try to bribe me by calling me "sah". It isn't going to work.'

Glamoren, Remora and Longrunn sat on the battlements, watching in interest at Daleria tried to get Rapieratce into the kitchens to help, were preparations were going on full scale. In this case, a bunch of moles were demolishing the entire kitchen and throwing everything into havoc with the deeper n' ever pie, giant scale, that they were making. Even the lithest of hares would not get out of there alive. Rapieratce knew enough of his Redwall history to try and get out of it. Rapieratce glared at the three officers grinning madly at him.

'You three keep on doing that, and I'll make sure that I'm not the only one getting into this mess.'

In unison, the trio replied, still grinning their heads off,

'Yes, sah!'

Grumbling and moaning, and trying desperately to peel Daleria off him and the idea, the colonel backed away from the captain as much as he could. Daleria only pulled him harder, trying to drag him into the kitchens. Signalling to the watching three, they pounced, as if on cue. Rapieratce struggled madly to get away from the grips of four of his own officers.

'You planned this whole bally assault, didn't you, Dale? Let go of me, right now!'

Nobeast heeded him, and he was dragged, kicking and shouting, off to the abbey kitchens. It was already chaos when they entered. Dibbuns threw cherries at each other, meadowcream flew thick and fast, blueberry paste was on the walls and floor, potatoes were mashed all over the tables, and the kitchen helpers scrambled to get the foods that were intact into the stores. Even Jemerian was standing half drenched in meadowcream, chucking half of a pasty shell off her head towards Foremole, laughing uproariously. Order was not the priority. Even the abbess threw it out the window. Action turned to the five hares that entered. The dibbuns who knew Daleria grinned malicious smiles that should not have been on their lips, as with a subtle flick of her paw, they attacked with surprising order and efficiency. Remora, Glamoren, Longrunn and Daleria all dropped the colonel and scurried off to various other corners of the kitchen, while cherries flew towards the still half stunned colonel. Rapieratce cursed slightly under his breath before dropping to the floor out of instinct, the cherries thus pelting an unfortunate Glamoren and several squirrels who were all not fast enough to get out of the way. Jumping up, he flicked his head to the right as a patch of meadowcream came for him, after which he bent his body in a twist around a table to avoid a filled pastry from murdering him. Rapieratce had to spin a full three sixty to avoid a blob of raspberry jam sent his way courtesy of Daleria, before throwing himself over a dibbun to avoid a peach flung by Glamoren. It was due for pay back time. Randomly grabbing a pawful of dried apple rings as he jumped, the colonel gave up self restraint and dignity as he dripped them into cream and flung them off towards Longrunn and Remora. Both hit target, and the sergeant ended up looking like a clown with two well placed apple rings over his eyes, while Remora had attained two on her ears and one down her tunic. Everybeast roared with laughter. Smartly flicking his lithe body away from a handful of sugar cubes, Rapieratce prepared his full assault. Grabbing a wooden bowl filled with orange pulp, he twisted away from another assault of cherries, grabbing a bottle of red currant jam and emptying it in as he went, before filling in some apple cubes meant for pie. Jumping over a dibbun with surprising balance, not once dirtying himself, the colonel proceeded to snatch a ready made pie cover from a tabletop that was stacked with pastries, laying atop his makeshift pie. In all the mayhem, he had managed to stray behind Daleria without her noticing him. The captain was too busy pelting Thrush with onions. Delicately picking himself over to Daleria, he tapped her shoulder. When the captain turned to see who it was, he put on his most wicked smile.

'Surprise!'

The bowl emptied itself onto her face. Howling, the captain tried to attack the colonel, but by the time she had got the orange pulp out of her eyes, he had somehow fled the kitchen. And marvel. His tunic was still perfectly clean.