On we go..don't know when the next one will be up but this one is done.
As to all the kind requests concerning Legolas and Irulan coming finally together: Guys, I hate to say it, but I'm a pleasure delayer. No, more than that - I just don't think it would be easy for an elf and a Darma Druid to come to terms with their feelings and take a drastic step so fast - especially when both have enough sense to see that they are in the middle of the most important quest in Middle Earth! I just want the relationship to develop realistically, so it might take a bit longer and bit more turn and twists than some of us prefer it would.
Note to chapter: The story concerning the One Ring and the elven rings is true - I did not make that up. I was quite surprised to find out a time ago, but it gave me the perfect twist I needed. For any doubts, check out the encyclopedia of Arda, which is a perfect reference site for Tolkien, by the way. This was a chapter VERY hard to write - the hardest of all yet. Mainly because I was trying to explain an important point without revealing too much yet. Let's see if I succeeded.
Hope you'll like this one as much as the ones before.......
"How embarrassing is that?!"said Legolas a bit stiffly. They were very close to Caras Galadhon, still walking in the company of the guard elves with Irulan leading, along with Haldir. The two had obviously broken the ice between them. 'How does she do it? Give her enough time, she can probably even warm up the Dark Lord himself!' he thought.
Aragorn chuckled softly next to him. "I don't find it embarrassing, really".
"Aragorn.....she has asked him hundreds of questions now. Elves do not enjoy verbal conversation as much as humans do. And do I need to mention that dozens of those questions were actually highly inappropriate?"
"I don't know about that, but Haldir does not seem to think so" Aragorn replied with amusement.
Legolas shot another look at the leading couple. Indeed, Haldir seemed to be very much pleased. His stiff demeanor had almost completely disappeared and replaced by curiosity. Not to mention that he felt content to be the center of such attention for a mortal, to be asked so many questions and expected to bring explanation and clarity to so many subjects. Irulan too had given up the rather formal expressions and once again converted to a more friendly tone of conversation.
"He seems quite taken by her if you ask me" said Boromir softly from behind them, his voice revealing him to be both a little disturbed, but also oddly proud.
Legolas glared back at him over his shoulder. "I think you mortals often misread our expressions and words" he said coldly.
"Oh really?" jumped in Gimli, "then I am glad indeed, Master Elf. For I was worried, thinking that you look very much jealous."
Aragorn chuckled again and Legolas visibly stiffened. He quickly turned around and pursed his lips, not speaking again for a long time.
"......actually there is one thing I always wanted to know" Irulan was saying now, "you all seem to be so excellent in archery and obviously many other combat skills.....yet......it was always my suspicion that this was more due to immortality than anything else" she finished, her hands clasped behind her, looking up at the tall trees that seemed to be getting bigger and thicker as the company approached the city.
Haldir smiled with a confused expression. "How do you mean?"
"Well.....alright.....let me put it this way.......you obviously have MILLENIA to train! Is it not actually impossible NOT to learn anything so perfect throughout that time?"
The other elves slowly turned their heads and threw an odd glance at her direction. Legolas' eyes widened and he turned to Aragorn, who was staring back at him with a slightly open mouth. Boromir and Gimli chuckled deviously.
Haldir though -probably due to the crash course in the rudeness of mortals he had just received- laughed with pure delight. "Are you saying that......we have no skills.....but only too much time on our hands?"
Irulan seemed to be caught off guard by the reaction of the other elves, and realizing that she had just made a rude assumption, quickly stammered "NO......of course not....I was only thinking.....well....if humans were immortal, don't you think they would excel in these things as well?" She almost moaned at the end of the sentence, realizing that she had merely repeated the same horrible statement, only in other words.
"Hmmm....." said Haldir, even more amused by her embarrassment now, "an interesting point. But dear Lady Irulan, even if you had all our qualities -which are not limited with immortality, I must add- I think you would still not live to achieve such skill. For you most probably would use your acquired powers to wipe each other out long before you come to that level. Don't you think?"
Irulan looked at him with something like utter amazement. She kept looking until Haldir returned her look with arched eyebrows, clearly expecting a sour reply to this comment that very much sounded like an insult to her kind. Instead Irulan softly whispered "That's why I wish you would never leave."
A very curious and deep smile crept back to Haldir's lips. Irulan heard someone clearing his throat behind her, but she did not wish to turn around and try to understand what that was about. Instead she smiled back at the captain guard, for she had spoken the truth - it was indeed her true and honest wish.
"We have arrived" Haldir said softly after a long moment. "Thank you for your questions, Lady Irulan. It has been a most pleasant walk."
Irulan nodded and looked ahead, for she did not want to miss a single thing from Caras Galadhon, the famous city of Lothlorien where Galadriel dwelt.
***
Caras Galadhon was everything people were saying about it, and more. The massive trees were reaching into the heavens, not even looking like trees anymore. The elvish buildings and elegant staircases were placed around these trees, encircling them. It was rather dark now - a soft twilight kind of dark, due to the dense array of the trees along with the approach of the night, and elven lamps were lighted all over the city, the candles in them glowing with a softly, warm radiance.
This was the first time Irulan ever visited an elven city in the forest. The only other place she had been to was Rivendell...but Rivendell was nothing like this. True, it was as beautiful, elegant and peaceful. But, even though surrounded by a forest, it was built on a piece of rock. Caras Galadhon, however, was built in the forest and it was ONE with the forest. Once again she felt the odd feeling of being alien as she entered the city. She often felt that strange feeling when she visited Rivendell. The silence, laid-back atmosphere; the tranquility made her feel odd. As if she were not wide awake and walking, but sleeping and dreaming that she was walking.
She looked back at the company and they all seemed to share her feelings. Irulan slowly fell back again, leaving Haldir's side and moving further down to where Boromir and Gimli were walking. Unconsciously she -along with the others- had accepted Aragorn to be the leader of the fellowship, although neither rank nor status said that he should be so. Aragorn himself had made no such demand and he treated everyone with equal respect and warm friendship. However, more and more they began to look up to him when a situation required settlement or decision. It was only natural for Irulan to fall behind him now. Not because he had been here before and knew the ways, but because he was her leader and she would not pace ahead of him under such conditions.
They were escorted to one of the impossibly thick trees and began slowly climbing up the stairs. Once again, the view got only more fascinating as they got higher. Small balconies were arranged along the way and the only thing that kept Irulan from staying on those and looking over the city was the fact that she would probably feel more or less sick at this height. Finally the stairs came to an end and they stepped on a wide structure that seemed to be connected to other stairs, columns and structures. The company gathered at the edge the platform and began to wait.
She was standing between Legolas and Gimli, waiting for Lady Galadhriel to appear. Legolas slightly turned and looked down at her with a very understanding and comforting look. That's when she realized that she had been nervously fidgeting with the hem of her tunic, unable to remain still in her excitement. Why, she could not remember being this excited for a very long time, now.
She smiled back at him, and felt the curious need of holding his hand. As soon as she thought about it though, she chuckled lightly and shook her head. 'What is becoming of me? Now I am growing used and fond of his comforting. Did I have someone to lean on throughout all those years? No. I was completely and desperately alone. I went through the most dangerous and hectic times a girl can go through, and was there anyone to comfort me then? No. And did I feel the need for any such person? No. Now I am standing here, and there is neither danger nor despair, but I feel like holding his hand! Irulan, really now. You have to pull yourself together' she thought. Thankfully she could not dwell on these thoughts for too long, for King Celeborn and Lady Galadhriel began to slowly descent the stairs in front of them.
So it was that Irulan met he fair lady of Galadhriel, daughter of Finarfin. And she thought about that moment many times in the upcoming years, trying to think of how she would describe this being, if anyone asked of her to do so. But she failed every time. Much later she would realize that what she felt was only a common feeling that she would feel for few others again - it was the awe in the face of power. For Galadriel WAS power. Not the sweet power of Gandalf, nor the comforting power of Aragorn. She was a gentle and yet terrible power, and in that, unlike any that Irulan would see ever again. She was slender and utterly beautiful -even for an elf- and very graceful - yet there was nothing fragile about her. She was obviously a marvelous woman, and yet oddly not feminine as we know it. It was a combination of elements one would not come across every day.
And she seemed to know very much about both the company and the quest. She oddly knew about Gandalf, but seemed not too saddened by it. 'It most certainly is the way of elves not to express too much emotion even in times like this' she thought. She slowly looked each of them in the eye, all the time speaking words of comfort and assurance falling from her lips in a sweet voice, and every member of the company seemed to be startled and mesmerized by that look. Irulan herself felt like her soul was stripped right there and Galadhriel knew everything there was to know about her.
The lady finally bid them good night and gave them permission to leave for that day. Their stay in Lothlorien would not be too long, for the matter of the ring was too pressing to waste any time, but the company was shaken and tired and they would have enough time to talk later on. They were led back down to the ground and Irulan felt relief when she realized that they would be given shelter her by the roots of the trees. She could not imagine sleeping anywhere that high.
Soon enough they arrived at a spot where elegant tents were raised for their stay. The outer fabric was slightly pinned up or sideways bound in some places, revealing the inside of the tents and the cushions and small trays in them. Soft mattresses and cushions were also laid out around the mighty roots of the trees.
Irulan did not know about the rest of the company, but she could not be more happy to give the traveling a rest - not to mention a rest here in probably one of the most beautiful cities in Middle Earth. She felt every other humane feeling coming back to her - she wanted to take a bath, to eat something decent and to sleep on a soft mattress. Especially since it was probably their last opportunity to do so. Soon they would be on the road again and no matter what people thought of adventures, they had a nasty side to them that no one seemed to consider. The constant walking, the fact that you ended up sleeping in the most uncomfortable places even when it was raining or freezing cold, that you had the worst things to eat and that after all that fighting and struggling you ended up smelling disgusting with no chance of a bath for days - those were the facts writers of great adventures seemed to leave out.
She took a bath and ate. Then she changed her clothing, keeping the boots and trousers, but accepting a wine colored elven shirt and a large blue sash she tied around that. Afterwards she sat down for a light conversation with the company. A beautiful song was softly echoing throughout the city and she asked Legolas what it was about.
"It is a lament for Gandalf" he said. He too had cleaned up and changed into a fine silken blue tunic and darker trousers. The rest of the company obviously felt no discomfort whatsoever, because they made no attempt to change their clothing. 'I would be surprised to see Aragorn not looking terrible for once, anyway' she half muttered to herself.
To her utter demise, she felt sleep draining away as each member one by one excused himself and retired for sleep. 'You will never get another chance like this, get to sleep' she thought, but once lying in the tent, she ended up tossing and turning and not feeling even a bit more sleepy after it. 'It's probably being in Caras Galadhon. I am too excited to sleep right now' she thought and decided to take a tour in the city instead.
Irulan stood up and left the tent, just in time to see Aragorn and Legolas walking away, softly speaking. The rest of the company seemed to be asleep. She decided to walk off in the opposite direction, wishing to be alone. She slowly walked off the circle of the camp, barefoot on the soft green grass, listening to the lament and thinking about what they could possibly be saying about Gandalf. She walked by small ponds and fountains, sometimes stopping to reach in and taste the unbelievably sweet water. She felt the bark of the trees that looked like buildings from this short distance and thought about how old they must be.
"Irulan..." sounded a voice behind her all of a sudden and she felt her body reacting with goose bumps to it. She unconsciously held her breath and waited a moment before she turned "...the breaker of hearts and oaths". Lady Galadhriel added with something that she could only define as cold pleasure. They were standing among the trees on a small clearing. She could see other elves walking to and fro, but they were far off.
Irulan swallowed hard and stood there, unable to move, like a little child. Although she could not find a reason for it to be so, she felt shame rising up in her. She glanced down at the soft grass on the ground.
"Or are you not?" Lady Galadhriel sang, slowly walking towards her left. She could not remember feeling so little and useless in anybody's presence. Her whole body was but a single flame, burning, burning; threatening to destroy her.
"My lady" she croaked finally and managed a slight bow. A silence followed and Irulan dared not look up to see the expression on the elf. She waited.
"You are a follower of the Old Way" the elf said softly.
"Yes" said Irulan, knowing she meant the Darma Druids.
"Tell me" began Galadhriel again, "what would it take for you to turn from the path you have taken?"
Irulan furrowed her brows. She did not know exactly what Galadhriel was talking about, but thinking that she meant the quest, she finally said "There is nothing in this world that can turn me from this path, my lady" softly. She hoped that it came out as determined as she felt. Another silence and Irulan at last dared a quick look, only to see Galadhriel standing at the same spot, as menacingly beautiful as ever and looking at her with something like.. "sad amusement" would be the word, if it was not an impossible mixture. And the worst thing was, now that she had looked up, she could not look away again. Galadhriel's blue eyes were fixed on hers. She gulped again, but remained still other than that.
"The Cold Sisters" Galadhriel sang now, "their minds set, their hearts sealed. Perfect, like a sharp, cold blade."
And something very odd happened, for Irulan realized that Galadriel had only vocalized her own very deep and hidden thoughts and feelings about the Darma Druids. Although she had never dared to really think out these ideas, now that the Lady of Lothlorien was speaking them, she instantly realized without doubt that her heart had felt them and her mind had pondered them many times. Her soul had gnawed on them all the times she had attended the trainings and watched the sisters, and even more so when she had joined them at their homes at evening dinners or at special occasions. They had been surrounded by husbands and sons, by parents and daughters, by friends and kin; and there was laughing and joking, there was conversation and tumult..but no passion. No love. No compassion. No warmness. Not in the sisters. Sure, they laughed along like anyone else, they hugged and smiled, never any different from any other woman..but their eyes..like cold rocks in the open wilderness.
"They would stop at nothing to save Middle Earth" Galadriel said and interrupted Irulan's line of thoughts. Gladly so, for she felt an eerie discomfort coming from those thoughts. "Like you" Galadriel added a moment later, open perception in her eyes. "For you too have left everything and everyone behind to follow your own path. And yet" said Galadhriel with a lighter voice, "You have abandoned them as well. You have broken your oath" she said and waited for a moment, looking into Irulan's eyes, "for you failed to change your heart" she finished.
Irulan finally managed to cast down her glance and bit her lower lip. She felt the accusation in Galadhriel's voice and she knew it was meant for the Druids. And yet, her mind failed to grasp the reason for this. The Darma Druids were wise and powerful. They had fought along elves and men many times and saved Middle Earth. They had reached the impossible decision never to fight again when they realized the consequences. A part of her felt the tingling of rage and anger, but another and stronger part of her felt oddly only shame. 'The Cold Sisters' her inner voice kept whispering. She felt like crying. For the first time in many years, as ridiculous as it was, she desperately felt like crying and running off. Only of course such a thing was impossible the presence of Galadhriel.
"I see the iron greed in you that brought their downfall" Galadriel finally said and just when Irulan thought she would die of shame, the elf added "but I also see your heart Irulan. You are a flame clad in ice".
Irulan swallowed hard once more and finally overcoming the urge to cry -more or less- very slowly looked up. "I wish to save this world, my Lady. Is that wrong?" she managed to say.
Galadhriel did not say anything for a long time and Irulan was about to add a few other sentences to bring up the question once again, when the elf finally spoke: "You wish to PRESERVE Middle Earth as it is now, yes. But that is something no one can do". She moved closer to Irulan, her steps making no sound on the grass but her beautiful white gown ever so slightly rustling. "For change is the destiny of all. Do you know what will happen if you succeed in the destruction of the Ring of Power?"
"The power of the Dark Lord will be gone from this world forever, as will the shadow and evil that this power has cast on us" she said, trying not to stammer and form the tumult in her brain into coherent sentences.
"Very much so. Alas, the destruction of the One Ring will also destroy all three rings granted to the elves". Galadriel stopped at a very close distance, but continued to look Irulan in the eye. "The power that binds elves to this earth will cease completely and then we will have no choice but to leave Middle Earth forever".
Irulan's eyes widened with terror. 'How...how can that be true?!' she thought desperately. 'It can not be!' And yet, although her mind was racing ahead, trying to grasp the words, her heart already knew this to be so. As Sauron's power, embodied as the Ring, was growing, the power endowed on the other rings was failing. The races were already falling apart. And yet, there was no mend to this, for obviously they could not let Sauron take over, but again obviously, his destruction meant that Middle Earth would be changed forever anyway. When Galadhriel spoke up again, she realized that she had been holding her breath and slowly began to breathe again.
"What stands the test of time?" Galadhriel said now, more to herself than to Irulan. Irulan thought about it, unable to come to an answer. Her mind was still reeling with the fact that the success of her quest would indeed seal the very thing she was trying to prevent.
"All will change, Irulan. In time, these grounds that we stay on now and talk heart to heart, will be gone and replaced by others. The very air we breathe will be no more. The mallorn trees, the misty mountains, the dragons and spiders, mithril and the elves...all - all will go sooner or later" Irulan felt like her heart was literally being smashed to pieces by her words. How could she say those things, IMAGINE those things and not protest? Not deny? Not try to stop it from happening? She had fought all her life to prevent it and she would fight a thousand lifetimes again to do so. Silently, she began to cry, unable to do otherwise.
"But LOVE will remain. It is the only thing worth saving" Galadhriel added after a long, tormenting silence. She ever so slightly leaned forward now and smiled softly. Though Irulan wished to be comforted by that smile, she could not stop the grief and the pain that was shaking her, nor could she stop the tears from flowing freely down her cheeks.
"Tell me now, why do you seek to save Middle Earth? Because you love it, or because it is the right thing to do?" the elf whispered softly.
"What difference does it make?" replied Irulan. She too, was whispering.
"The difference will save your soul" Galadhriel said very slowly, caressing each word as she spoke it. Irulan just remained hooked to her looks, unable to move or protest, much less understand. She stood there, every possible feeling in this world reeling and slashing through her with heat, followed by cold acceptance and yet another wave of heat. It was as if she was a simple beaker that Galadhriel had softly grasped and held under the fountain - there was no way she could stop this pouring in of feelings and thoughts, very much like the beaker could stop the inflow of water.
Finally Galadhriel smiled softly and turned to leave in the direction of the camp. But Irulan did not see her. She fell back and sat on the tree trunk, her face a mask of confusion and pain, and tried to remember who she was.
As to all the kind requests concerning Legolas and Irulan coming finally together: Guys, I hate to say it, but I'm a pleasure delayer. No, more than that - I just don't think it would be easy for an elf and a Darma Druid to come to terms with their feelings and take a drastic step so fast - especially when both have enough sense to see that they are in the middle of the most important quest in Middle Earth! I just want the relationship to develop realistically, so it might take a bit longer and bit more turn and twists than some of us prefer it would.
Note to chapter: The story concerning the One Ring and the elven rings is true - I did not make that up. I was quite surprised to find out a time ago, but it gave me the perfect twist I needed. For any doubts, check out the encyclopedia of Arda, which is a perfect reference site for Tolkien, by the way. This was a chapter VERY hard to write - the hardest of all yet. Mainly because I was trying to explain an important point without revealing too much yet. Let's see if I succeeded.
Hope you'll like this one as much as the ones before.......
"How embarrassing is that?!"said Legolas a bit stiffly. They were very close to Caras Galadhon, still walking in the company of the guard elves with Irulan leading, along with Haldir. The two had obviously broken the ice between them. 'How does she do it? Give her enough time, she can probably even warm up the Dark Lord himself!' he thought.
Aragorn chuckled softly next to him. "I don't find it embarrassing, really".
"Aragorn.....she has asked him hundreds of questions now. Elves do not enjoy verbal conversation as much as humans do. And do I need to mention that dozens of those questions were actually highly inappropriate?"
"I don't know about that, but Haldir does not seem to think so" Aragorn replied with amusement.
Legolas shot another look at the leading couple. Indeed, Haldir seemed to be very much pleased. His stiff demeanor had almost completely disappeared and replaced by curiosity. Not to mention that he felt content to be the center of such attention for a mortal, to be asked so many questions and expected to bring explanation and clarity to so many subjects. Irulan too had given up the rather formal expressions and once again converted to a more friendly tone of conversation.
"He seems quite taken by her if you ask me" said Boromir softly from behind them, his voice revealing him to be both a little disturbed, but also oddly proud.
Legolas glared back at him over his shoulder. "I think you mortals often misread our expressions and words" he said coldly.
"Oh really?" jumped in Gimli, "then I am glad indeed, Master Elf. For I was worried, thinking that you look very much jealous."
Aragorn chuckled again and Legolas visibly stiffened. He quickly turned around and pursed his lips, not speaking again for a long time.
"......actually there is one thing I always wanted to know" Irulan was saying now, "you all seem to be so excellent in archery and obviously many other combat skills.....yet......it was always my suspicion that this was more due to immortality than anything else" she finished, her hands clasped behind her, looking up at the tall trees that seemed to be getting bigger and thicker as the company approached the city.
Haldir smiled with a confused expression. "How do you mean?"
"Well.....alright.....let me put it this way.......you obviously have MILLENIA to train! Is it not actually impossible NOT to learn anything so perfect throughout that time?"
The other elves slowly turned their heads and threw an odd glance at her direction. Legolas' eyes widened and he turned to Aragorn, who was staring back at him with a slightly open mouth. Boromir and Gimli chuckled deviously.
Haldir though -probably due to the crash course in the rudeness of mortals he had just received- laughed with pure delight. "Are you saying that......we have no skills.....but only too much time on our hands?"
Irulan seemed to be caught off guard by the reaction of the other elves, and realizing that she had just made a rude assumption, quickly stammered "NO......of course not....I was only thinking.....well....if humans were immortal, don't you think they would excel in these things as well?" She almost moaned at the end of the sentence, realizing that she had merely repeated the same horrible statement, only in other words.
"Hmmm....." said Haldir, even more amused by her embarrassment now, "an interesting point. But dear Lady Irulan, even if you had all our qualities -which are not limited with immortality, I must add- I think you would still not live to achieve such skill. For you most probably would use your acquired powers to wipe each other out long before you come to that level. Don't you think?"
Irulan looked at him with something like utter amazement. She kept looking until Haldir returned her look with arched eyebrows, clearly expecting a sour reply to this comment that very much sounded like an insult to her kind. Instead Irulan softly whispered "That's why I wish you would never leave."
A very curious and deep smile crept back to Haldir's lips. Irulan heard someone clearing his throat behind her, but she did not wish to turn around and try to understand what that was about. Instead she smiled back at the captain guard, for she had spoken the truth - it was indeed her true and honest wish.
"We have arrived" Haldir said softly after a long moment. "Thank you for your questions, Lady Irulan. It has been a most pleasant walk."
Irulan nodded and looked ahead, for she did not want to miss a single thing from Caras Galadhon, the famous city of Lothlorien where Galadriel dwelt.
***
Caras Galadhon was everything people were saying about it, and more. The massive trees were reaching into the heavens, not even looking like trees anymore. The elvish buildings and elegant staircases were placed around these trees, encircling them. It was rather dark now - a soft twilight kind of dark, due to the dense array of the trees along with the approach of the night, and elven lamps were lighted all over the city, the candles in them glowing with a softly, warm radiance.
This was the first time Irulan ever visited an elven city in the forest. The only other place she had been to was Rivendell...but Rivendell was nothing like this. True, it was as beautiful, elegant and peaceful. But, even though surrounded by a forest, it was built on a piece of rock. Caras Galadhon, however, was built in the forest and it was ONE with the forest. Once again she felt the odd feeling of being alien as she entered the city. She often felt that strange feeling when she visited Rivendell. The silence, laid-back atmosphere; the tranquility made her feel odd. As if she were not wide awake and walking, but sleeping and dreaming that she was walking.
She looked back at the company and they all seemed to share her feelings. Irulan slowly fell back again, leaving Haldir's side and moving further down to where Boromir and Gimli were walking. Unconsciously she -along with the others- had accepted Aragorn to be the leader of the fellowship, although neither rank nor status said that he should be so. Aragorn himself had made no such demand and he treated everyone with equal respect and warm friendship. However, more and more they began to look up to him when a situation required settlement or decision. It was only natural for Irulan to fall behind him now. Not because he had been here before and knew the ways, but because he was her leader and she would not pace ahead of him under such conditions.
They were escorted to one of the impossibly thick trees and began slowly climbing up the stairs. Once again, the view got only more fascinating as they got higher. Small balconies were arranged along the way and the only thing that kept Irulan from staying on those and looking over the city was the fact that she would probably feel more or less sick at this height. Finally the stairs came to an end and they stepped on a wide structure that seemed to be connected to other stairs, columns and structures. The company gathered at the edge the platform and began to wait.
She was standing between Legolas and Gimli, waiting for Lady Galadhriel to appear. Legolas slightly turned and looked down at her with a very understanding and comforting look. That's when she realized that she had been nervously fidgeting with the hem of her tunic, unable to remain still in her excitement. Why, she could not remember being this excited for a very long time, now.
She smiled back at him, and felt the curious need of holding his hand. As soon as she thought about it though, she chuckled lightly and shook her head. 'What is becoming of me? Now I am growing used and fond of his comforting. Did I have someone to lean on throughout all those years? No. I was completely and desperately alone. I went through the most dangerous and hectic times a girl can go through, and was there anyone to comfort me then? No. And did I feel the need for any such person? No. Now I am standing here, and there is neither danger nor despair, but I feel like holding his hand! Irulan, really now. You have to pull yourself together' she thought. Thankfully she could not dwell on these thoughts for too long, for King Celeborn and Lady Galadhriel began to slowly descent the stairs in front of them.
So it was that Irulan met he fair lady of Galadhriel, daughter of Finarfin. And she thought about that moment many times in the upcoming years, trying to think of how she would describe this being, if anyone asked of her to do so. But she failed every time. Much later she would realize that what she felt was only a common feeling that she would feel for few others again - it was the awe in the face of power. For Galadriel WAS power. Not the sweet power of Gandalf, nor the comforting power of Aragorn. She was a gentle and yet terrible power, and in that, unlike any that Irulan would see ever again. She was slender and utterly beautiful -even for an elf- and very graceful - yet there was nothing fragile about her. She was obviously a marvelous woman, and yet oddly not feminine as we know it. It was a combination of elements one would not come across every day.
And she seemed to know very much about both the company and the quest. She oddly knew about Gandalf, but seemed not too saddened by it. 'It most certainly is the way of elves not to express too much emotion even in times like this' she thought. She slowly looked each of them in the eye, all the time speaking words of comfort and assurance falling from her lips in a sweet voice, and every member of the company seemed to be startled and mesmerized by that look. Irulan herself felt like her soul was stripped right there and Galadhriel knew everything there was to know about her.
The lady finally bid them good night and gave them permission to leave for that day. Their stay in Lothlorien would not be too long, for the matter of the ring was too pressing to waste any time, but the company was shaken and tired and they would have enough time to talk later on. They were led back down to the ground and Irulan felt relief when she realized that they would be given shelter her by the roots of the trees. She could not imagine sleeping anywhere that high.
Soon enough they arrived at a spot where elegant tents were raised for their stay. The outer fabric was slightly pinned up or sideways bound in some places, revealing the inside of the tents and the cushions and small trays in them. Soft mattresses and cushions were also laid out around the mighty roots of the trees.
Irulan did not know about the rest of the company, but she could not be more happy to give the traveling a rest - not to mention a rest here in probably one of the most beautiful cities in Middle Earth. She felt every other humane feeling coming back to her - she wanted to take a bath, to eat something decent and to sleep on a soft mattress. Especially since it was probably their last opportunity to do so. Soon they would be on the road again and no matter what people thought of adventures, they had a nasty side to them that no one seemed to consider. The constant walking, the fact that you ended up sleeping in the most uncomfortable places even when it was raining or freezing cold, that you had the worst things to eat and that after all that fighting and struggling you ended up smelling disgusting with no chance of a bath for days - those were the facts writers of great adventures seemed to leave out.
She took a bath and ate. Then she changed her clothing, keeping the boots and trousers, but accepting a wine colored elven shirt and a large blue sash she tied around that. Afterwards she sat down for a light conversation with the company. A beautiful song was softly echoing throughout the city and she asked Legolas what it was about.
"It is a lament for Gandalf" he said. He too had cleaned up and changed into a fine silken blue tunic and darker trousers. The rest of the company obviously felt no discomfort whatsoever, because they made no attempt to change their clothing. 'I would be surprised to see Aragorn not looking terrible for once, anyway' she half muttered to herself.
To her utter demise, she felt sleep draining away as each member one by one excused himself and retired for sleep. 'You will never get another chance like this, get to sleep' she thought, but once lying in the tent, she ended up tossing and turning and not feeling even a bit more sleepy after it. 'It's probably being in Caras Galadhon. I am too excited to sleep right now' she thought and decided to take a tour in the city instead.
Irulan stood up and left the tent, just in time to see Aragorn and Legolas walking away, softly speaking. The rest of the company seemed to be asleep. She decided to walk off in the opposite direction, wishing to be alone. She slowly walked off the circle of the camp, barefoot on the soft green grass, listening to the lament and thinking about what they could possibly be saying about Gandalf. She walked by small ponds and fountains, sometimes stopping to reach in and taste the unbelievably sweet water. She felt the bark of the trees that looked like buildings from this short distance and thought about how old they must be.
"Irulan..." sounded a voice behind her all of a sudden and she felt her body reacting with goose bumps to it. She unconsciously held her breath and waited a moment before she turned "...the breaker of hearts and oaths". Lady Galadhriel added with something that she could only define as cold pleasure. They were standing among the trees on a small clearing. She could see other elves walking to and fro, but they were far off.
Irulan swallowed hard and stood there, unable to move, like a little child. Although she could not find a reason for it to be so, she felt shame rising up in her. She glanced down at the soft grass on the ground.
"Or are you not?" Lady Galadhriel sang, slowly walking towards her left. She could not remember feeling so little and useless in anybody's presence. Her whole body was but a single flame, burning, burning; threatening to destroy her.
"My lady" she croaked finally and managed a slight bow. A silence followed and Irulan dared not look up to see the expression on the elf. She waited.
"You are a follower of the Old Way" the elf said softly.
"Yes" said Irulan, knowing she meant the Darma Druids.
"Tell me" began Galadhriel again, "what would it take for you to turn from the path you have taken?"
Irulan furrowed her brows. She did not know exactly what Galadhriel was talking about, but thinking that she meant the quest, she finally said "There is nothing in this world that can turn me from this path, my lady" softly. She hoped that it came out as determined as she felt. Another silence and Irulan at last dared a quick look, only to see Galadhriel standing at the same spot, as menacingly beautiful as ever and looking at her with something like.. "sad amusement" would be the word, if it was not an impossible mixture. And the worst thing was, now that she had looked up, she could not look away again. Galadhriel's blue eyes were fixed on hers. She gulped again, but remained still other than that.
"The Cold Sisters" Galadhriel sang now, "their minds set, their hearts sealed. Perfect, like a sharp, cold blade."
And something very odd happened, for Irulan realized that Galadriel had only vocalized her own very deep and hidden thoughts and feelings about the Darma Druids. Although she had never dared to really think out these ideas, now that the Lady of Lothlorien was speaking them, she instantly realized without doubt that her heart had felt them and her mind had pondered them many times. Her soul had gnawed on them all the times she had attended the trainings and watched the sisters, and even more so when she had joined them at their homes at evening dinners or at special occasions. They had been surrounded by husbands and sons, by parents and daughters, by friends and kin; and there was laughing and joking, there was conversation and tumult..but no passion. No love. No compassion. No warmness. Not in the sisters. Sure, they laughed along like anyone else, they hugged and smiled, never any different from any other woman..but their eyes..like cold rocks in the open wilderness.
"They would stop at nothing to save Middle Earth" Galadriel said and interrupted Irulan's line of thoughts. Gladly so, for she felt an eerie discomfort coming from those thoughts. "Like you" Galadriel added a moment later, open perception in her eyes. "For you too have left everything and everyone behind to follow your own path. And yet" said Galadhriel with a lighter voice, "You have abandoned them as well. You have broken your oath" she said and waited for a moment, looking into Irulan's eyes, "for you failed to change your heart" she finished.
Irulan finally managed to cast down her glance and bit her lower lip. She felt the accusation in Galadhriel's voice and she knew it was meant for the Druids. And yet, her mind failed to grasp the reason for this. The Darma Druids were wise and powerful. They had fought along elves and men many times and saved Middle Earth. They had reached the impossible decision never to fight again when they realized the consequences. A part of her felt the tingling of rage and anger, but another and stronger part of her felt oddly only shame. 'The Cold Sisters' her inner voice kept whispering. She felt like crying. For the first time in many years, as ridiculous as it was, she desperately felt like crying and running off. Only of course such a thing was impossible the presence of Galadhriel.
"I see the iron greed in you that brought their downfall" Galadriel finally said and just when Irulan thought she would die of shame, the elf added "but I also see your heart Irulan. You are a flame clad in ice".
Irulan swallowed hard once more and finally overcoming the urge to cry -more or less- very slowly looked up. "I wish to save this world, my Lady. Is that wrong?" she managed to say.
Galadhriel did not say anything for a long time and Irulan was about to add a few other sentences to bring up the question once again, when the elf finally spoke: "You wish to PRESERVE Middle Earth as it is now, yes. But that is something no one can do". She moved closer to Irulan, her steps making no sound on the grass but her beautiful white gown ever so slightly rustling. "For change is the destiny of all. Do you know what will happen if you succeed in the destruction of the Ring of Power?"
"The power of the Dark Lord will be gone from this world forever, as will the shadow and evil that this power has cast on us" she said, trying not to stammer and form the tumult in her brain into coherent sentences.
"Very much so. Alas, the destruction of the One Ring will also destroy all three rings granted to the elves". Galadriel stopped at a very close distance, but continued to look Irulan in the eye. "The power that binds elves to this earth will cease completely and then we will have no choice but to leave Middle Earth forever".
Irulan's eyes widened with terror. 'How...how can that be true?!' she thought desperately. 'It can not be!' And yet, although her mind was racing ahead, trying to grasp the words, her heart already knew this to be so. As Sauron's power, embodied as the Ring, was growing, the power endowed on the other rings was failing. The races were already falling apart. And yet, there was no mend to this, for obviously they could not let Sauron take over, but again obviously, his destruction meant that Middle Earth would be changed forever anyway. When Galadhriel spoke up again, she realized that she had been holding her breath and slowly began to breathe again.
"What stands the test of time?" Galadhriel said now, more to herself than to Irulan. Irulan thought about it, unable to come to an answer. Her mind was still reeling with the fact that the success of her quest would indeed seal the very thing she was trying to prevent.
"All will change, Irulan. In time, these grounds that we stay on now and talk heart to heart, will be gone and replaced by others. The very air we breathe will be no more. The mallorn trees, the misty mountains, the dragons and spiders, mithril and the elves...all - all will go sooner or later" Irulan felt like her heart was literally being smashed to pieces by her words. How could she say those things, IMAGINE those things and not protest? Not deny? Not try to stop it from happening? She had fought all her life to prevent it and she would fight a thousand lifetimes again to do so. Silently, she began to cry, unable to do otherwise.
"But LOVE will remain. It is the only thing worth saving" Galadhriel added after a long, tormenting silence. She ever so slightly leaned forward now and smiled softly. Though Irulan wished to be comforted by that smile, she could not stop the grief and the pain that was shaking her, nor could she stop the tears from flowing freely down her cheeks.
"Tell me now, why do you seek to save Middle Earth? Because you love it, or because it is the right thing to do?" the elf whispered softly.
"What difference does it make?" replied Irulan. She too, was whispering.
"The difference will save your soul" Galadhriel said very slowly, caressing each word as she spoke it. Irulan just remained hooked to her looks, unable to move or protest, much less understand. She stood there, every possible feeling in this world reeling and slashing through her with heat, followed by cold acceptance and yet another wave of heat. It was as if she was a simple beaker that Galadhriel had softly grasped and held under the fountain - there was no way she could stop this pouring in of feelings and thoughts, very much like the beaker could stop the inflow of water.
Finally Galadhriel smiled softly and turned to leave in the direction of the camp. But Irulan did not see her. She fell back and sat on the tree trunk, her face a mask of confusion and pain, and tried to remember who she was.