(When the Dust Settles - cont...)
Meg stepped up to the counter. Seifer leaned his back against the glass as Meg ordered.
"Two hotdogs and two sodas. Thanks," Meg's eyes examined Seifer. He was too quiet.
"That'll be 60 gil," the cafeteria lady handed Meg the tray. Seifer handed the lady the gil and took the tray from Meg.
"Thank you," Meg said. Seifer forced a smile. Meg turned to find a seat, Seifer followed.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. There were times when Seifer would look at her as if he was waiting for her to speak. Meg only looked back at him and chewed.
Seifer looked at her again.
"Good hotdog," was the only thing she said.
"Yeah," Seifer agreed.
Again there was silence. Meg took a sip of soda.
"Squall beat me again," Meg began a new conversation.
"Yeah? Well, you'll get him next time," Seifer grew bored.
Silence once again. This time Seifer threw his hotdog down and cursed at it.
"You ready now?" Meg gulped down the last bite of her hotdog and leaned in, ready to listen.
"I don't know where to begin." Seifer scratched his forehead.
"Well, why haven't you been around lately? We're all worried about you," Meg began.
"I've been having these...dreams for the past few days. Not really dreams, but flashbacks. I don't know why I keep seeing the past. I can't do anything to change it."
"Sorry Seifer, but I don't really know your past. Maybe you should talk to Squall or Rinoa about it--," Meg suggested.
"No, I think it's better that you don't. You'll probably understand more. The others already have their opinion about it. They'd just give me empty words of encouragement."
"Why do you say that?"
"They're all...lies, you know?...what they say about me. I'm no hero. I'm no role model. If anything, I'm the bad guy. I'm a..."
*flashbk*
"Oh you bet, But since I like you so much, I thought you should go first. I was hoping you'd be there, Squall. So...how'd I look in my moment of triumph? My childhood dream, fulfilled. I've become the sorceress' knight," Seifer looked up at Squall who was hanging from chains on the wall, weakened from electrical shocks.
"(...Sorceress' knight...) (...His...romantic dream...?) (But...Seifer...Now, you're just...)...A torturer," Squall cringed in pain.
*end.flashbk*
"Aaah." Seifer grabbed his forehead.
"Tell me about your dreams," Meg said softly.
"Some just pass, for a moment. But others, stay in my mind long after. I remember three years ago, when Squall and the others came back heroes...they had defeated the sorceress. I, on the other hand, had allied with her. I requested to be forgiven and to be allowed back in Garden. I could only do so after I was tried. The council said came to the conclusion that I was bewitched...that I...was being controlled by the Sorceress. But part of me was at fault. I gave in because I was a fool with dreams. Childhood dreams, romantic dreams...I was a monster. I tortured Squall, I...gave Rinoa to Adel...and yet...," Seifer paused. He looked up at Meg and continued, "in spite of all that, my posse...forgave me. Fujin and Raijin left Balamb Garden so that I could become a SeeD. The others, forgave me too. They willingly forgot what I had done, for me. But I just don't know why I'm dreaming about this. Why now?" Seifer slammed his fist on the table.
"Well, you said it...you were a fool then. You're different now...changed. All you did was what your heart told you to do. So what if you had a confused heart back then, it's fine now. I know it is. There's no shame in the past Seifer. You've been trying to forget and forget about it. Not allowing your heart to heal properly. You can't forget your past, no matter how horrible it makes you feel about yourself. I agree that what's done is done, but you can't forget the good. Carry your dreams, your childhood, your motivation and your determination into the present and the future. That's all your dreams want from you. You think they were trying to make you feel bad...but they weren't. They were trying to make you remember so that you can get your life back on track. They want you to turn into the man you're supposed to be and you need to have that past to have a that future."
Seifer sat in silence and Meg sat with him, until he was ready to go.
Meg stepped up to the counter. Seifer leaned his back against the glass as Meg ordered.
"Two hotdogs and two sodas. Thanks," Meg's eyes examined Seifer. He was too quiet.
"That'll be 60 gil," the cafeteria lady handed Meg the tray. Seifer handed the lady the gil and took the tray from Meg.
"Thank you," Meg said. Seifer forced a smile. Meg turned to find a seat, Seifer followed.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. There were times when Seifer would look at her as if he was waiting for her to speak. Meg only looked back at him and chewed.
Seifer looked at her again.
"Good hotdog," was the only thing she said.
"Yeah," Seifer agreed.
Again there was silence. Meg took a sip of soda.
"Squall beat me again," Meg began a new conversation.
"Yeah? Well, you'll get him next time," Seifer grew bored.
Silence once again. This time Seifer threw his hotdog down and cursed at it.
"You ready now?" Meg gulped down the last bite of her hotdog and leaned in, ready to listen.
"I don't know where to begin." Seifer scratched his forehead.
"Well, why haven't you been around lately? We're all worried about you," Meg began.
"I've been having these...dreams for the past few days. Not really dreams, but flashbacks. I don't know why I keep seeing the past. I can't do anything to change it."
"Sorry Seifer, but I don't really know your past. Maybe you should talk to Squall or Rinoa about it--," Meg suggested.
"No, I think it's better that you don't. You'll probably understand more. The others already have their opinion about it. They'd just give me empty words of encouragement."
"Why do you say that?"
"They're all...lies, you know?...what they say about me. I'm no hero. I'm no role model. If anything, I'm the bad guy. I'm a..."
*flashbk*
"Oh you bet, But since I like you so much, I thought you should go first. I was hoping you'd be there, Squall. So...how'd I look in my moment of triumph? My childhood dream, fulfilled. I've become the sorceress' knight," Seifer looked up at Squall who was hanging from chains on the wall, weakened from electrical shocks.
"(...Sorceress' knight...) (...His...romantic dream...?) (But...Seifer...Now, you're just...)...A torturer," Squall cringed in pain.
*end.flashbk*
"Aaah." Seifer grabbed his forehead.
"Tell me about your dreams," Meg said softly.
"Some just pass, for a moment. But others, stay in my mind long after. I remember three years ago, when Squall and the others came back heroes...they had defeated the sorceress. I, on the other hand, had allied with her. I requested to be forgiven and to be allowed back in Garden. I could only do so after I was tried. The council said came to the conclusion that I was bewitched...that I...was being controlled by the Sorceress. But part of me was at fault. I gave in because I was a fool with dreams. Childhood dreams, romantic dreams...I was a monster. I tortured Squall, I...gave Rinoa to Adel...and yet...," Seifer paused. He looked up at Meg and continued, "in spite of all that, my posse...forgave me. Fujin and Raijin left Balamb Garden so that I could become a SeeD. The others, forgave me too. They willingly forgot what I had done, for me. But I just don't know why I'm dreaming about this. Why now?" Seifer slammed his fist on the table.
"Well, you said it...you were a fool then. You're different now...changed. All you did was what your heart told you to do. So what if you had a confused heart back then, it's fine now. I know it is. There's no shame in the past Seifer. You've been trying to forget and forget about it. Not allowing your heart to heal properly. You can't forget your past, no matter how horrible it makes you feel about yourself. I agree that what's done is done, but you can't forget the good. Carry your dreams, your childhood, your motivation and your determination into the present and the future. That's all your dreams want from you. You think they were trying to make you feel bad...but they weren't. They were trying to make you remember so that you can get your life back on track. They want you to turn into the man you're supposed to be and you need to have that past to have a that future."
Seifer sat in silence and Meg sat with him, until he was ready to go.