Disclaimer : If I owned anything, this would be part of the show, and
then the show would just suck. So no, thankfully I own nothing. Yay.
No long winded a/n's. The next chapter is already 60% finished and should be posted next week. There will be an epilogue after that and we'll be done. :) Oh, yeah, before I forget. I know nothing about how visitations go at hospitals. Really. I've always been the patient, drugged out on medications, never the visitor. So excuse any inaccuracies.
Don't Say You Love Me
Chapter 27
Lorelai was waiting for the two when their bus finally pulled into the Hartford station, some five hours later. Both were tired and irritated, but Rory perked up a bit when she caught sight of her mom. Picking up her pace, she rushed towards her and into her arms. The two stood there for quite awhile, as Rory wasn't quite ready to escape Lorelai's comforting embrace. Reluctantly, she let go and wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes, with the back of her hand.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, even just a little, Lorelai smiled and said. "Coffee?"
Rory nodded and the three headed out into the daylight, in search for a decent cup of coffee.
*****
"How is he?" Jess asked once Rory had excused herself to use the rest room.
Lorelai, taking a sip of her coffee, shook her head sadly. "Not good.. The night you left, he fell into a coma, but thankfully woke up this morning...."
Jess sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Do they think he'll make it?"
"Catherine didn't say when she called," Lorelai said.
"Shit."
"My thoughts exactly."
"We ready to go?" Rory's voice suddenly asked, as she appeared behind them.
After downing the rest of her cup, Lorelai nodded and stood, and Jess did the same. "You sure you don't want to go home first...." Lorelai started, but stopped as Rory's head began to shake vehemently.
"No. I want to see him."
Biting her lip, Lorelai nodded and they headed out, stopping only to pay their bill.
******
The entire ride to the hospital was a quiet one. Lorelai kept her gaze focused on the road in front of them, Rory, who sat in the passengers seat, gazed out the window, trying in vain to keep herself together and Jess, who had been banished to the back seat, was flipping idly through a magazine he had found on the floor. If it had been under any other circumstances, the two women in the front would have mocked him mercilessly for reading an issue of Cosmopolitan. Today, however, there were no jokes, only silence.
Finally, after what seemed to be centuries, the jeep pulled up into the hospital parking lot, but instead of parking, Lorelai pulled up to the front. "Go on. I'll park the car."
Rory shot her mother a grateful look before hopping out with Jess at her heels. Jess put a supportive arm around her shoulders as the two entered the hospital. As he had been their before, Jess led the way to Tristan's room. There was a group of people sitting outside the door, and Rory felt her heart drop. Something must have happened..
Tristan's mother, Catherine caught sight of Rory first and ran to embrace her. Rory returned the hug, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. She had to be strong, this woman didn't need her tears.
"Oh, Rory, I'm so glad you came," Catherine whispered before pulling back.
Rory just smiled, one that felt incredibly fake and forced.
"The doctor is in with him now," Darren explained as he joined his wife. "You can go in as soon as he's done."
"Thank you," was the whispered response from Rory.
They fell into an awkward silence then, until the clicking noise of footsteps could be heard and Lorelai appeared from around the corner. She and Catherine exchanged looks before she lovingly put her arm around her daughters shoulders. "How you holding up, kiddo?"
Rory shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess. Just worried."
"He'll be okay, Ror."
"You don't know that," Rory protested, glancing up at her.
Lorelai gave her a sad smile. "You're here. If not for any other reason, he'll pull through for you."
Rory exhaled loudly, but didn't respond. They continued to stand there, staring at the door to Tristan's room for a good ten minutes, when the doctor emerged. The older man's face was set a grim line and he motioned the DuGrey's away from the group of family and friends that had gathered outside his door. Rory watched them, wide eyed, tears welling up inside them. Down the hall bit, the doctor was explaining something to Darren and Catherine, both of whom looked devastated. After a few minutes, the doctor shook Darren's hand and they rejoined everyone, who were waiting to hear the latest.
Catherine didn't speak, looking as though she was going to break down at any moment. Darren took a second, to collect his thoughts before he finally opened his mouth.
"Dr. Roy said they've stabilized him and their looking forward to his recovery," he paused as a sigh of relief swept through the crowd of people. "However, he also confirmed his earlier prognosis."
Confusion came over Rory's face and she turned to her mother. "Earlier prognosis?"
Lorelai swallowed hard and nodded. "He's lost all feeling in his legs.."
Rory's eyes widened. He couldn't be.. not Tristan. He was so athletic, so happy to run around and participate in things... "Oh, God.." She choked out.
"I'm sorry, I should've told you," Lorelai said, her face apologetic.
"No," Rory shook her head. "It's okay. I just want to see him now."
Catherine had overheard her words and nodded. "Go ahead sweetie."
After thanking her, she approached the door, apprehension taking over. Sucking in her breath, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was a regular hospital room, dimly lit, machines beeping, the lone bed in the center of the room. There were many get well gifts, most of which were flowers and Rory stifled a sob when she finally found the courage to look at the figure on the bed.
Tristan lay beneath the crisp white hospital blankets, his head bandaged and was snoring softly. His left arm was in a cast that was laying on his stomach. Biting her lip, she moved closer, until she was standing beside the bed. She hadn't seen him in over two years, but every curve, every imperfection on his perfect face was ingrained in her mind and she gently reached out and touched him. His skin, while pale, was warm and she let out a sigh of relief. She jumped back slightly when he moved under her touch. Reflexively, she jerked her arm back, but it was held firmly in place. Glancing up, she was met by the brilliant blue color that had been in her heart for so long now. The electricity that shot through both of them at the touch was too hot to ignore and Rory stood frozen, staring back at him.
"I didn't think you were coming," Tristan finally said, his voice laced with sleepiness, but underlined with happiness.
His words jarred her out of her reverie and she took a step closer. "Of course I came."
A small smile appeared on his face and he tightened his grip on her hand. "I'm glad."
"Me too," Rory replied, with a smile of her own. Pulling up a chair next to the bed, she managed to keep the smile. "How are you? I mean, obviously not the best you've ever been but..."
"I'm fine, now that you're here." He said seriously.
"Good. That's good."
"I've missed you, Mar."
Rory let out an exasperated sigh at the mention of the now endeared nickname, but grinned to let him know she was just kidding. "You too, Bible Boy."
"So.."
"So..." Rory echoed, words failing her.
Reluctantly, Tristan broke their eye contact and glanced down at his legs before back up at her. His eyes, normally sparkling blue, were now a dark grey color, clouded over with pain and anger. "Did the doctor tell you?"
Rory nodded at his question, but squeezed his hand in support. "It'll be okay, Tris.."
"How is that, Rory? I can't even fucking walk." Tristan let out bitterly.
Taken aback by his tone, Rory fell back in the chair, her hand letting his go. "Tristan.."
"I don't wanna hear it, Rory. I don't want your fucking sympathy."
Rory stared at him, her eyes wide. He had never spoken to her in such a way, never had she heard him so filled with anger and resentment. She opened her mouth to speak, but shook her head and closed it, climbing to her feet. She glanced back at him, her blue eyes filled with tears. He still sat, his gaze set on the opposite wall, his face set in a scowl. How the hell had the conversation turned from a semi lighthearted one to this in 5 seconds flat? Biting her lip, she quietly said, "I'm sorry," before leaving the room.
******
Tristan heard her words, heard the door close behind her and let out a low growl in anger. Not towards her, but towards himself. Why had he been so cruel to her? She had come all the way here from Germany, possibly risking her entire career just to be with him in his time of need. And what did he do? Basically tell her he didn't want or need her. His gaze shifted from the wall to the chair where she had been sitting, there with him, her hand in his. From there, he looked down at his legs and sighed. It wasn't like it was her fault he was like this. It was his and his stupid need to tempt fate. If only he hadn't gone to the bar that night, hadn't met up with Duncan, who was in the car behind him when the accident happened. If he hadn't run into him and hadn't felt the obligation to prove he was still as much of a dare devil now that he was in high school when Duncan had dared him to play chicken with that damn train, he wouldn't be laying in this damn bed with no fucking feeling in the lower half of his body. Laying back on his pillow, Tristan cursed himself. He should be grateful, he knew that. Grateful that the train had only hit the front of the car, grateful that it wasn't a few inches back, because if it had been, he probably would be dead right now. And for that, he should be extremely grateful.
But somehow he just couldn't do it. Couldn't find it in himself to find the good in the situation. So he was alive. A lot of good that was going to do him when he couldn't even go to the bathroom himself. Never again would he walk, run, do any of the things that had been intregal parts of his life up until this point. And the one thing he could find good in, the one person that brought even the slightest bit of sunshine into this otherwise dull world, he had sent away, with his harsh words.
"Dammit," he cursed, slamming a his good fist down on the bed and then wincing in pain. He had to get Rory back in here, had to apologized. He had asked Jess to go get her, to bring her to him. He needed her and he needed her to know that. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the door open until somebody poked him. Shaking out of his reverie, he looked up to see Lorelai standing there, a mixture of concern and anger set on her face.
"Lorelai.."
"No, I talk, you listen." Lorelai stated firmly, sitting down in the chair formally occupied by her offspring. "Look, I know you're in pain and your probably pretty pissed off at yourself right now. And I really don't want to lecture you when you're like this, but when my daughter comes all the way home, for you and then leaves your room crying because you decided to take something that isn't her fault out on her, I have to say something."
If it was at all possible, Tristan's face paled even more. "She was crying?" He asked quietly.
Lorelai nodded. "I know this isn't easy for you, Tristan. I can't even imagine what's going on in your head right now, but don't take it out on Rory. She came back for you. She didn't even hesitate when she found out you were in the hospital and I know my daughter. She won't leave until you're better, unless you give her a reason to, and judging by the way she reacted to whatever was said in here earlier, that just might happen."
Tristan sighed, his entire being torn. "I don't know what happened, Lorelai. We were just talking and I'm looking at her and she's swinging one leg under the chair, like she does when she's nervous and it just got to me. I'm never going to be able to do that again and it pissed me off. I know it's not her fault, but she was there."
Patting his hand sympathetically, Lorelai gave him a sad smile. "That's no reason to take it out on her, Tristan..."
"I know," he sighed, "I just found out, you know? The doctor had just told me I'll probably never walk again and I haven't really had time to deal with it and then everyone is walking in and out of here and its not fair." He lets out, obviously frustrated.
"No, it's not. But it's not fair to take it out on everyone else, either," Lorelai points out.
Tristan gave a nod of the head in agreement. "I know."
Lorelai stood up and surprising him greatly, gave him a motherly kiss on the head. "I'll talk to Rory, okay? I'll bring her back tomorrow and you can apologize. I don't want my daughter leaving me again because you acted like a jerk."
"Okay."
With that, she picked up her purse and left the room, once again leaving Tristan to his thoughts.
******
Like the ride to the hospital, the ride home was also spent in silence. The only sound was that of the engine and Rory's occasional sniffling. 40 minutes later, due to traffic, the threesome arrived in Stars Hollow. Lorelai dropped Jess off at the diner, upon his request and then continued the trek home. When they arrived at the house, mother and daughter exited the jeep quietly, Rory's bags in their hands. Lorelai opened the door and Rory stood in the doorway for a few seconds, reveling in the comfort that was her childhood home.
"Coming?" Her mother asked when she noticed her daughter wasn't following.
Rory's gaze snapped over to her and she nodded, stepping inside. She followed her mother into her bedroom, in which only her dressers and bed occupied now. She was surprised to see this, as it had been two years and she had expected Tristan to have sent her things from the home they had once shared, back to her mother. Lorelai caught her look and smiled.
"He wouldn't let me bring your things back here..."
"Oh," was all Rory could think of to say. Lorelai murmured something about making some coffee and left the room, leaving Rory to unpack. Fifteen minutes later, most of her clothing were in the drawers, blankets from the hall pulled out and set up on the bed. Sighing, she sat down on the edge of the mattress, her eyes taking in the room which held so many memories. She was startled out of her thoughts as the mattress dipped under Lorelai's weight, when she sat down next to her daughter. Handing her a cup of coffee, she smiled warmly.
"What's going on in that head of yours, missy? I've never seen you so quiet. Usually I can't shut you up."
Rory managed a grin, though small, it was genuine. "I'm worried about him."
Lorelai nodded in understanding. "So am I, sweetie. I know you didn't exactly have the best experience with him earlier, but remember he's in pain and probably doesn't mean everything he says."
"I know," Rory sighed, slightly aggravated. "I just.. I've never seen him so angry. I don't know what to say to him anymore.."
"Just be there for him," Lorelai proposed, her face thoughtful. "Whether he'll admit it or not, he needs you, especially right now. He's going to be a pain in the ass from time to time, but once the worst is over, he'll thank you for sticking by him."
"I'm scared for him, too. I've read so many stories of people being involved in something like this, and being paralyzed and they turn into these angry, bitter people. I don't want him to be like that."
"As long as he's got you, he won't be. You're too stubborn to let him."
"I'm not stubborn," Rory protested.
Lorelai gave her a look. "Oh please, you're like a mule."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"You're Mr. Ed."
"Mr. Ed was a horse."
"Same difference," Lorelai dismissed, pulling her daughter into a hug. "Just be patient with him, Ror. It'll all end up okay."
Rory didn't respond, just laid her head on her mothers shoulder and let out a pent up breath.
******
The next day, true to her word, Lorelai and Rory arrived back at the hospital. The crowd from yesterday was gone, replaced only by Tristan's parents and Paris, who sat outside his door, talking to Darren. They all looked up when they heard the pair approach and Paris gave Rory a sympathetic look.
"Gilmore," she greeted, not unpleasantly.
"Gellar," Rory greeted too, with the same tone.
Though the two had spent most of their high school and college years at the same schools, they had never really managed to secure a friendship. This being said, they were no where near the enemies that had been when Rory first started Chilton. To put it plainly, they were civil when they ran into one another, but didn't go out of the their way to find each other. Lorelai shot Paris a smile as a greeting and the young woman returned it. Forgetting about Paris for the moment, Rory turned towards Darren, her eyes curious.
"How is he?"
"The same," Darren sighed, sliding his hand through his hair, which very much resembled his sons, even with the beginnings of grey showing through.
"Could I..."
"Go ahead," Darren interrupted. "Catherine's in with him, but I know she wouldn't mind."
"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to interrupt..." Rory objected.
"Nonsense, go on in."
Rory glanced over at her mother, who waved her towards the door. Sighing, she pushed it open, startling both the occupants of the room. Catherine rose to greet her with a hug and she returned it, her eyes meeting Tristan's over his mothers shoulder. When they parted, she excused herself, leaving the two of them alone. Rory stayed standing where she was, a few feet away from the bed, her hands clasped behind her back. Tristan, for his part, was in the only position he could be, sitting on the bed, his good hand playing idly with the blankets that covered him.
They held eye contact, but no words were spoken for quite some time. Like the day before, Tristan was the first to break the silence.
"Look, Rory, I'm sorry about yesterday.."
His voice broke her resolve and she shot him a small smile. "It's okay."
Tristan shook his head. "No, it's not. You didn't deserve it, you did nothing wrong. I'm just a jerk."
Rory's expression took on a more playful exterior. "You'll get no argument from me on that one."
"Hey," Tristan argued, trying to keep his face serious but failed miserably as the corners of his mouth began to turn upward.
The tension gone, Rory finally made her way over to the chair beside the bed. The two stared at each other for a few minutes, neither noticing how their hands unconsciously intertwined without even so much as a thought. Tristan's stare became more intense, causing her to blush and look away and his face to light up with knowledge that he still held that kind of power over her. Eventually she looked back up, her gaze locking back with his and she offered a smile.
"So how are you, really?"
"I've been better," he answered honestly. "I haven't quite come to terms with it all yet.. but I promise no more outbursts like yesterday."
"Good," Rory said, scooting the chair closer. "Tris.. I just want you to know, that no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you, okay? I know this whole thing is hard on you, so if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here."
Tristan nodded. "I know. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied simply.
"So, Mary, tell me about your travels.."
Rory grinned and launched into the tale of what she'd been up to for the past two and a half years.
******
Two months later.
After two months of constantly being under the watchful eye of the staff at Hartford's Memorial Hospital, Tristan was all too glad to go home. He still wasn't too keen on the idea of being stuck in the wheel chair, but having Rory around made it seem so much more bearable. As his home, the town home the two of them once shared, was two stories and had no bedroom on the first floor, it was arranged for him to stay with his parents until a better solution could be come up with. The two of them, Rory and Tristan, had begun to piece back together what was lost all those years ago, starting with the friendship that was at the core of the relationship they once had. Rory, having quit her job, returned to the ranks of where she began, Fade Magazine , where she had instantly been promoted to editor. The staff had welcomed her back with open arms and she felt at ease, at home with the people who had given her her start in the world. Everyday she would leave her mothers house and head into Hartford for a day of work. From there she would go to the DuGrey's and spend the next few hours with Tristan, usually just talking or watching movies.
As for Tristan, his spirits seemed to be lifting. Had it not been for Rory, he probably would've landed right smack dab in the middle of a state of depression, but she kept him grounded, reminding him that though he lost his legs, he still had reasons to live, to be happy.
They hadn't talked much about restarting their relationship, to try to pick up where they left off, as they both knew that was impossible. So much had changed since the day Rory had walked away from him. However, neither was opposed to the idea and they figured to just let things go with the flow. It was on a cool October day, five months after Tristan had been discharged from the hospital, that things began heading in a new direction.
******
Tristan was sitting in the room that had once been an office, but now converted into his bedroom, playing a game on the computer when a voice startled him.
"Knock, knock."
Glancing up, he broke out into a huge grin when he saw Rory standing there, looking gorgeous, as usual. "Hey, you. I thought you were going to visit your dad this weekend?"
Rory shrugged, stepping into the room. "I am. But there was a huge pile up on the highway to Boston, so I figured I'd wait until tomorrow to head out."
Tristan nodded, shutting off the computer and swiveling his chair so he could look at her. She looked amazing, standing there in her jeans and blue t-shirt, that brought out the color of her eyes. There was something different, he just couldn't put his finger on it. "So what's up, Mar?"
She shrugged again, settling down on the edge of his bed. "Nothing. I just thought I'd come see you before I leave."
"Well, I appreciate the gesture. Now, what's really going on with you?"
Rory sighed, glancing at the floor before back at him. "You know how I told you that Fade was expanding?"
"Yeah...?"
"Well," Rory paused, biting her lip. "They're talking about opening an office in L.A and Michael wants me to help start it."
Tristan's face fell at this revelation. "Oh."
"I didn't give him an answer yet," She rushed to say. "I wanted to talk to you about it first. It's only for a few months, until the staff is all hired and all that, but if you don't want me to go, I won't."
There was a pause, before Tristan shook his head. "No, you go. It's only for a few months, right? It's not like you have any obligation to me anyway."
Rory frowned at that. "Tristan.."
"Look, Ror. I'm not trying to be an ass, but it's true. I love having you here, but I don't want you to lose your job because I don't want you going out to LA. And it's only a few months, I'll survive."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want it to be the overseas correspondent thing all over again."
Tristan looked at her firmly, taking her hand in his. "Rory, go. Open the new office, do what you have to do. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here when you get back. And it won't be like last time, because we're on talking terms. We'll call, we'll write, we'll email. Hell, maybe I'll even come visit," He says, his eyes twinkling.
"Tristan."
"Okay, okay, maybe I won't be able to visit. But it's okay."
"You're sure?"
"Absolutely."
"Really?"
"Rory. Go."
Rory finally broke into a huge smile and threw her arms around him. "I'll try to make it a short few months."
Tristan hugged her back. "I'll be counting the days."
The two started to pull apart, but stopped, staring into one anothers eyes. It all seemed very cliché, but the moment was not one to be passed up and slowly, they both leaned in, their lips meeting in a sweet, tender kiss. Eventually, they did pull apart, both their breathing labored. A tear appeared in the corner of Rory's eye and Tristan brushed it away gently. Throwing caution to the wind, again they leaned towards each other, this time kissing with more passion. When they finally separated, for good, Rory pushed a strand of hair out of her face and smiled.
"I'll call you when I get to my dads."
Nodding, he reluctantly let go of her hand. They exchanged good-byes and he watched her go, feeling for the first time in a long time, completely content.
******
Eh. Was that long enough? Next ones just as long, if not longer. And that will be up on.. umm.. I say Thursday. Don't hold me to that, but keep it mind. Or something. That's all folks, Goooooooooodbye!
-- Shay
No long winded a/n's. The next chapter is already 60% finished and should be posted next week. There will be an epilogue after that and we'll be done. :) Oh, yeah, before I forget. I know nothing about how visitations go at hospitals. Really. I've always been the patient, drugged out on medications, never the visitor. So excuse any inaccuracies.
Chapter 27
Lorelai was waiting for the two when their bus finally pulled into the Hartford station, some five hours later. Both were tired and irritated, but Rory perked up a bit when she caught sight of her mom. Picking up her pace, she rushed towards her and into her arms. The two stood there for quite awhile, as Rory wasn't quite ready to escape Lorelai's comforting embrace. Reluctantly, she let go and wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes, with the back of her hand.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, even just a little, Lorelai smiled and said. "Coffee?"
Rory nodded and the three headed out into the daylight, in search for a decent cup of coffee.
*****
"How is he?" Jess asked once Rory had excused herself to use the rest room.
Lorelai, taking a sip of her coffee, shook her head sadly. "Not good.. The night you left, he fell into a coma, but thankfully woke up this morning...."
Jess sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Do they think he'll make it?"
"Catherine didn't say when she called," Lorelai said.
"Shit."
"My thoughts exactly."
"We ready to go?" Rory's voice suddenly asked, as she appeared behind them.
After downing the rest of her cup, Lorelai nodded and stood, and Jess did the same. "You sure you don't want to go home first...." Lorelai started, but stopped as Rory's head began to shake vehemently.
"No. I want to see him."
Biting her lip, Lorelai nodded and they headed out, stopping only to pay their bill.
******
The entire ride to the hospital was a quiet one. Lorelai kept her gaze focused on the road in front of them, Rory, who sat in the passengers seat, gazed out the window, trying in vain to keep herself together and Jess, who had been banished to the back seat, was flipping idly through a magazine he had found on the floor. If it had been under any other circumstances, the two women in the front would have mocked him mercilessly for reading an issue of Cosmopolitan. Today, however, there were no jokes, only silence.
Finally, after what seemed to be centuries, the jeep pulled up into the hospital parking lot, but instead of parking, Lorelai pulled up to the front. "Go on. I'll park the car."
Rory shot her mother a grateful look before hopping out with Jess at her heels. Jess put a supportive arm around her shoulders as the two entered the hospital. As he had been their before, Jess led the way to Tristan's room. There was a group of people sitting outside the door, and Rory felt her heart drop. Something must have happened..
Tristan's mother, Catherine caught sight of Rory first and ran to embrace her. Rory returned the hug, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. She had to be strong, this woman didn't need her tears.
"Oh, Rory, I'm so glad you came," Catherine whispered before pulling back.
Rory just smiled, one that felt incredibly fake and forced.
"The doctor is in with him now," Darren explained as he joined his wife. "You can go in as soon as he's done."
"Thank you," was the whispered response from Rory.
They fell into an awkward silence then, until the clicking noise of footsteps could be heard and Lorelai appeared from around the corner. She and Catherine exchanged looks before she lovingly put her arm around her daughters shoulders. "How you holding up, kiddo?"
Rory shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess. Just worried."
"He'll be okay, Ror."
"You don't know that," Rory protested, glancing up at her.
Lorelai gave her a sad smile. "You're here. If not for any other reason, he'll pull through for you."
Rory exhaled loudly, but didn't respond. They continued to stand there, staring at the door to Tristan's room for a good ten minutes, when the doctor emerged. The older man's face was set a grim line and he motioned the DuGrey's away from the group of family and friends that had gathered outside his door. Rory watched them, wide eyed, tears welling up inside them. Down the hall bit, the doctor was explaining something to Darren and Catherine, both of whom looked devastated. After a few minutes, the doctor shook Darren's hand and they rejoined everyone, who were waiting to hear the latest.
Catherine didn't speak, looking as though she was going to break down at any moment. Darren took a second, to collect his thoughts before he finally opened his mouth.
"Dr. Roy said they've stabilized him and their looking forward to his recovery," he paused as a sigh of relief swept through the crowd of people. "However, he also confirmed his earlier prognosis."
Confusion came over Rory's face and she turned to her mother. "Earlier prognosis?"
Lorelai swallowed hard and nodded. "He's lost all feeling in his legs.."
Rory's eyes widened. He couldn't be.. not Tristan. He was so athletic, so happy to run around and participate in things... "Oh, God.." She choked out.
"I'm sorry, I should've told you," Lorelai said, her face apologetic.
"No," Rory shook her head. "It's okay. I just want to see him now."
Catherine had overheard her words and nodded. "Go ahead sweetie."
After thanking her, she approached the door, apprehension taking over. Sucking in her breath, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was a regular hospital room, dimly lit, machines beeping, the lone bed in the center of the room. There were many get well gifts, most of which were flowers and Rory stifled a sob when she finally found the courage to look at the figure on the bed.
Tristan lay beneath the crisp white hospital blankets, his head bandaged and was snoring softly. His left arm was in a cast that was laying on his stomach. Biting her lip, she moved closer, until she was standing beside the bed. She hadn't seen him in over two years, but every curve, every imperfection on his perfect face was ingrained in her mind and she gently reached out and touched him. His skin, while pale, was warm and she let out a sigh of relief. She jumped back slightly when he moved under her touch. Reflexively, she jerked her arm back, but it was held firmly in place. Glancing up, she was met by the brilliant blue color that had been in her heart for so long now. The electricity that shot through both of them at the touch was too hot to ignore and Rory stood frozen, staring back at him.
"I didn't think you were coming," Tristan finally said, his voice laced with sleepiness, but underlined with happiness.
His words jarred her out of her reverie and she took a step closer. "Of course I came."
A small smile appeared on his face and he tightened his grip on her hand. "I'm glad."
"Me too," Rory replied, with a smile of her own. Pulling up a chair next to the bed, she managed to keep the smile. "How are you? I mean, obviously not the best you've ever been but..."
"I'm fine, now that you're here." He said seriously.
"Good. That's good."
"I've missed you, Mar."
Rory let out an exasperated sigh at the mention of the now endeared nickname, but grinned to let him know she was just kidding. "You too, Bible Boy."
"So.."
"So..." Rory echoed, words failing her.
Reluctantly, Tristan broke their eye contact and glanced down at his legs before back up at her. His eyes, normally sparkling blue, were now a dark grey color, clouded over with pain and anger. "Did the doctor tell you?"
Rory nodded at his question, but squeezed his hand in support. "It'll be okay, Tris.."
"How is that, Rory? I can't even fucking walk." Tristan let out bitterly.
Taken aback by his tone, Rory fell back in the chair, her hand letting his go. "Tristan.."
"I don't wanna hear it, Rory. I don't want your fucking sympathy."
Rory stared at him, her eyes wide. He had never spoken to her in such a way, never had she heard him so filled with anger and resentment. She opened her mouth to speak, but shook her head and closed it, climbing to her feet. She glanced back at him, her blue eyes filled with tears. He still sat, his gaze set on the opposite wall, his face set in a scowl. How the hell had the conversation turned from a semi lighthearted one to this in 5 seconds flat? Biting her lip, she quietly said, "I'm sorry," before leaving the room.
******
Tristan heard her words, heard the door close behind her and let out a low growl in anger. Not towards her, but towards himself. Why had he been so cruel to her? She had come all the way here from Germany, possibly risking her entire career just to be with him in his time of need. And what did he do? Basically tell her he didn't want or need her. His gaze shifted from the wall to the chair where she had been sitting, there with him, her hand in his. From there, he looked down at his legs and sighed. It wasn't like it was her fault he was like this. It was his and his stupid need to tempt fate. If only he hadn't gone to the bar that night, hadn't met up with Duncan, who was in the car behind him when the accident happened. If he hadn't run into him and hadn't felt the obligation to prove he was still as much of a dare devil now that he was in high school when Duncan had dared him to play chicken with that damn train, he wouldn't be laying in this damn bed with no fucking feeling in the lower half of his body. Laying back on his pillow, Tristan cursed himself. He should be grateful, he knew that. Grateful that the train had only hit the front of the car, grateful that it wasn't a few inches back, because if it had been, he probably would be dead right now. And for that, he should be extremely grateful.
But somehow he just couldn't do it. Couldn't find it in himself to find the good in the situation. So he was alive. A lot of good that was going to do him when he couldn't even go to the bathroom himself. Never again would he walk, run, do any of the things that had been intregal parts of his life up until this point. And the one thing he could find good in, the one person that brought even the slightest bit of sunshine into this otherwise dull world, he had sent away, with his harsh words.
"Dammit," he cursed, slamming a his good fist down on the bed and then wincing in pain. He had to get Rory back in here, had to apologized. He had asked Jess to go get her, to bring her to him. He needed her and he needed her to know that. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the door open until somebody poked him. Shaking out of his reverie, he looked up to see Lorelai standing there, a mixture of concern and anger set on her face.
"Lorelai.."
"No, I talk, you listen." Lorelai stated firmly, sitting down in the chair formally occupied by her offspring. "Look, I know you're in pain and your probably pretty pissed off at yourself right now. And I really don't want to lecture you when you're like this, but when my daughter comes all the way home, for you and then leaves your room crying because you decided to take something that isn't her fault out on her, I have to say something."
If it was at all possible, Tristan's face paled even more. "She was crying?" He asked quietly.
Lorelai nodded. "I know this isn't easy for you, Tristan. I can't even imagine what's going on in your head right now, but don't take it out on Rory. She came back for you. She didn't even hesitate when she found out you were in the hospital and I know my daughter. She won't leave until you're better, unless you give her a reason to, and judging by the way she reacted to whatever was said in here earlier, that just might happen."
Tristan sighed, his entire being torn. "I don't know what happened, Lorelai. We were just talking and I'm looking at her and she's swinging one leg under the chair, like she does when she's nervous and it just got to me. I'm never going to be able to do that again and it pissed me off. I know it's not her fault, but she was there."
Patting his hand sympathetically, Lorelai gave him a sad smile. "That's no reason to take it out on her, Tristan..."
"I know," he sighed, "I just found out, you know? The doctor had just told me I'll probably never walk again and I haven't really had time to deal with it and then everyone is walking in and out of here and its not fair." He lets out, obviously frustrated.
"No, it's not. But it's not fair to take it out on everyone else, either," Lorelai points out.
Tristan gave a nod of the head in agreement. "I know."
Lorelai stood up and surprising him greatly, gave him a motherly kiss on the head. "I'll talk to Rory, okay? I'll bring her back tomorrow and you can apologize. I don't want my daughter leaving me again because you acted like a jerk."
"Okay."
With that, she picked up her purse and left the room, once again leaving Tristan to his thoughts.
******
Like the ride to the hospital, the ride home was also spent in silence. The only sound was that of the engine and Rory's occasional sniffling. 40 minutes later, due to traffic, the threesome arrived in Stars Hollow. Lorelai dropped Jess off at the diner, upon his request and then continued the trek home. When they arrived at the house, mother and daughter exited the jeep quietly, Rory's bags in their hands. Lorelai opened the door and Rory stood in the doorway for a few seconds, reveling in the comfort that was her childhood home.
"Coming?" Her mother asked when she noticed her daughter wasn't following.
Rory's gaze snapped over to her and she nodded, stepping inside. She followed her mother into her bedroom, in which only her dressers and bed occupied now. She was surprised to see this, as it had been two years and she had expected Tristan to have sent her things from the home they had once shared, back to her mother. Lorelai caught her look and smiled.
"He wouldn't let me bring your things back here..."
"Oh," was all Rory could think of to say. Lorelai murmured something about making some coffee and left the room, leaving Rory to unpack. Fifteen minutes later, most of her clothing were in the drawers, blankets from the hall pulled out and set up on the bed. Sighing, she sat down on the edge of the mattress, her eyes taking in the room which held so many memories. She was startled out of her thoughts as the mattress dipped under Lorelai's weight, when she sat down next to her daughter. Handing her a cup of coffee, she smiled warmly.
"What's going on in that head of yours, missy? I've never seen you so quiet. Usually I can't shut you up."
Rory managed a grin, though small, it was genuine. "I'm worried about him."
Lorelai nodded in understanding. "So am I, sweetie. I know you didn't exactly have the best experience with him earlier, but remember he's in pain and probably doesn't mean everything he says."
"I know," Rory sighed, slightly aggravated. "I just.. I've never seen him so angry. I don't know what to say to him anymore.."
"Just be there for him," Lorelai proposed, her face thoughtful. "Whether he'll admit it or not, he needs you, especially right now. He's going to be a pain in the ass from time to time, but once the worst is over, he'll thank you for sticking by him."
"I'm scared for him, too. I've read so many stories of people being involved in something like this, and being paralyzed and they turn into these angry, bitter people. I don't want him to be like that."
"As long as he's got you, he won't be. You're too stubborn to let him."
"I'm not stubborn," Rory protested.
Lorelai gave her a look. "Oh please, you're like a mule."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"You're Mr. Ed."
"Mr. Ed was a horse."
"Same difference," Lorelai dismissed, pulling her daughter into a hug. "Just be patient with him, Ror. It'll all end up okay."
Rory didn't respond, just laid her head on her mothers shoulder and let out a pent up breath.
******
The next day, true to her word, Lorelai and Rory arrived back at the hospital. The crowd from yesterday was gone, replaced only by Tristan's parents and Paris, who sat outside his door, talking to Darren. They all looked up when they heard the pair approach and Paris gave Rory a sympathetic look.
"Gilmore," she greeted, not unpleasantly.
"Gellar," Rory greeted too, with the same tone.
Though the two had spent most of their high school and college years at the same schools, they had never really managed to secure a friendship. This being said, they were no where near the enemies that had been when Rory first started Chilton. To put it plainly, they were civil when they ran into one another, but didn't go out of the their way to find each other. Lorelai shot Paris a smile as a greeting and the young woman returned it. Forgetting about Paris for the moment, Rory turned towards Darren, her eyes curious.
"How is he?"
"The same," Darren sighed, sliding his hand through his hair, which very much resembled his sons, even with the beginnings of grey showing through.
"Could I..."
"Go ahead," Darren interrupted. "Catherine's in with him, but I know she wouldn't mind."
"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to interrupt..." Rory objected.
"Nonsense, go on in."
Rory glanced over at her mother, who waved her towards the door. Sighing, she pushed it open, startling both the occupants of the room. Catherine rose to greet her with a hug and she returned it, her eyes meeting Tristan's over his mothers shoulder. When they parted, she excused herself, leaving the two of them alone. Rory stayed standing where she was, a few feet away from the bed, her hands clasped behind her back. Tristan, for his part, was in the only position he could be, sitting on the bed, his good hand playing idly with the blankets that covered him.
They held eye contact, but no words were spoken for quite some time. Like the day before, Tristan was the first to break the silence.
"Look, Rory, I'm sorry about yesterday.."
His voice broke her resolve and she shot him a small smile. "It's okay."
Tristan shook his head. "No, it's not. You didn't deserve it, you did nothing wrong. I'm just a jerk."
Rory's expression took on a more playful exterior. "You'll get no argument from me on that one."
"Hey," Tristan argued, trying to keep his face serious but failed miserably as the corners of his mouth began to turn upward.
The tension gone, Rory finally made her way over to the chair beside the bed. The two stared at each other for a few minutes, neither noticing how their hands unconsciously intertwined without even so much as a thought. Tristan's stare became more intense, causing her to blush and look away and his face to light up with knowledge that he still held that kind of power over her. Eventually she looked back up, her gaze locking back with his and she offered a smile.
"So how are you, really?"
"I've been better," he answered honestly. "I haven't quite come to terms with it all yet.. but I promise no more outbursts like yesterday."
"Good," Rory said, scooting the chair closer. "Tris.. I just want you to know, that no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you, okay? I know this whole thing is hard on you, so if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here."
Tristan nodded. "I know. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied simply.
"So, Mary, tell me about your travels.."
Rory grinned and launched into the tale of what she'd been up to for the past two and a half years.
******
Two months later.
After two months of constantly being under the watchful eye of the staff at Hartford's Memorial Hospital, Tristan was all too glad to go home. He still wasn't too keen on the idea of being stuck in the wheel chair, but having Rory around made it seem so much more bearable. As his home, the town home the two of them once shared, was two stories and had no bedroom on the first floor, it was arranged for him to stay with his parents until a better solution could be come up with. The two of them, Rory and Tristan, had begun to piece back together what was lost all those years ago, starting with the friendship that was at the core of the relationship they once had. Rory, having quit her job, returned to the ranks of where she began, Fade Magazine , where she had instantly been promoted to editor. The staff had welcomed her back with open arms and she felt at ease, at home with the people who had given her her start in the world. Everyday she would leave her mothers house and head into Hartford for a day of work. From there she would go to the DuGrey's and spend the next few hours with Tristan, usually just talking or watching movies.
As for Tristan, his spirits seemed to be lifting. Had it not been for Rory, he probably would've landed right smack dab in the middle of a state of depression, but she kept him grounded, reminding him that though he lost his legs, he still had reasons to live, to be happy.
They hadn't talked much about restarting their relationship, to try to pick up where they left off, as they both knew that was impossible. So much had changed since the day Rory had walked away from him. However, neither was opposed to the idea and they figured to just let things go with the flow. It was on a cool October day, five months after Tristan had been discharged from the hospital, that things began heading in a new direction.
******
Tristan was sitting in the room that had once been an office, but now converted into his bedroom, playing a game on the computer when a voice startled him.
"Knock, knock."
Glancing up, he broke out into a huge grin when he saw Rory standing there, looking gorgeous, as usual. "Hey, you. I thought you were going to visit your dad this weekend?"
Rory shrugged, stepping into the room. "I am. But there was a huge pile up on the highway to Boston, so I figured I'd wait until tomorrow to head out."
Tristan nodded, shutting off the computer and swiveling his chair so he could look at her. She looked amazing, standing there in her jeans and blue t-shirt, that brought out the color of her eyes. There was something different, he just couldn't put his finger on it. "So what's up, Mar?"
She shrugged again, settling down on the edge of his bed. "Nothing. I just thought I'd come see you before I leave."
"Well, I appreciate the gesture. Now, what's really going on with you?"
Rory sighed, glancing at the floor before back at him. "You know how I told you that Fade was expanding?"
"Yeah...?"
"Well," Rory paused, biting her lip. "They're talking about opening an office in L.A and Michael wants me to help start it."
Tristan's face fell at this revelation. "Oh."
"I didn't give him an answer yet," She rushed to say. "I wanted to talk to you about it first. It's only for a few months, until the staff is all hired and all that, but if you don't want me to go, I won't."
There was a pause, before Tristan shook his head. "No, you go. It's only for a few months, right? It's not like you have any obligation to me anyway."
Rory frowned at that. "Tristan.."
"Look, Ror. I'm not trying to be an ass, but it's true. I love having you here, but I don't want you to lose your job because I don't want you going out to LA. And it's only a few months, I'll survive."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want it to be the overseas correspondent thing all over again."
Tristan looked at her firmly, taking her hand in his. "Rory, go. Open the new office, do what you have to do. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here when you get back. And it won't be like last time, because we're on talking terms. We'll call, we'll write, we'll email. Hell, maybe I'll even come visit," He says, his eyes twinkling.
"Tristan."
"Okay, okay, maybe I won't be able to visit. But it's okay."
"You're sure?"
"Absolutely."
"Really?"
"Rory. Go."
Rory finally broke into a huge smile and threw her arms around him. "I'll try to make it a short few months."
Tristan hugged her back. "I'll be counting the days."
The two started to pull apart, but stopped, staring into one anothers eyes. It all seemed very cliché, but the moment was not one to be passed up and slowly, they both leaned in, their lips meeting in a sweet, tender kiss. Eventually, they did pull apart, both their breathing labored. A tear appeared in the corner of Rory's eye and Tristan brushed it away gently. Throwing caution to the wind, again they leaned towards each other, this time kissing with more passion. When they finally separated, for good, Rory pushed a strand of hair out of her face and smiled.
"I'll call you when I get to my dads."
Nodding, he reluctantly let go of her hand. They exchanged good-byes and he watched her go, feeling for the first time in a long time, completely content.
******
Eh. Was that long enough? Next ones just as long, if not longer. And that will be up on.. umm.. I say Thursday. Don't hold me to that, but keep it mind. Or something. That's all folks, Goooooooooodbye!
-- Shay