disclaimer: None of Tolkien's works or character belong to me, so please don't sue me.

a/n: Here's the second part! Sorry if some characters are a bit out of character. I try my best. ^.^

Thanks to all of you that reviewed the last chapter [Sam, D45, MarigoldG, Meir Brin, and plasticChevy] !!  I appreciate the encouragement!

Cheap Shots and Elven Locks [part two]

Aragorn sighed in resignation and leaned against the rock, regarding the other man with an expression Boromir could not pinpoint. At last, the Ranger spoke, "Moria is our path. Will you follow us or end your journey with the Company right here?"

"I understand your displeasure in taking the road through the Mines, Boromir." Legolas put in, and his green eyes were sincere. "As does Aragorn. Mithrandir was forced to choose the safest route, and the safest route as of right now is Moria."

Boromir let out a rugged sigh and shifted so he could draw his sword from it's sheath. He did not notice Aragorn and the Elf tense suddenly at his weapon, and instead waited a moment before speaking in a tone that reflected reluctant acceptance. "I gave my word to follow the ring bearer until we reach Minas Tirith, and I intend to keep my word. But I would like my objection.." he trailed off, suddenly remembering the small figure behind Legolas. With his free hand he brushed his hair away from his face and finished his sentence. "…to be noted."

"So you can say, "I told you so" if one of us should perish?" Aragorn inquired, but his tone told Boromir that he was only teasing him. Denethor's heir forced himself to share a quiet laugh with the ranger and the Elf, and finally Aragorn spoke up, "I would like to apologize for not understanding your reasons for not wishing to enter Moria – or, at least not acknowledging them." he held a hand out as a peace treaty, and Boromir stared at it silently before looking up to see Pippin giving him a signal to shake the ranger's hand.

Boromir, obeying Pippin as well as remembering that no matter how much he disliked his rightful king, the king still was the king and he would have to give him respect sometime, took the ranger's hand and returned the firm shake. "And I..' he spoke the word as though it were poison, 'apologize…for enforcing my opinion on you, Aragorn."

Aragorn nodded, but his gaze shifted to the sword in Boromir's hand, and he looked to Legolas as the Elf spoke.

"Well…it is good to see that settled." he continued to talk about things that any Man (besides Aragorn, of course) would find intensely boring such as trees and Mirkwood, but Boromir continued to nod and grunt every now and then. What was taking Pippin so long?

What was taking Pippin so long?

Well, Pippin was worried that the Elf was going to find out there was a hobbit with a knife behind him the instant he even moved, and that would be the ruin of his entire plan. He was standing behind Legolas with his hands in front of him and hesitation freezing him in place. Boromir was keeping the two other Fellowship members busy long enough, but the grey eyes of Gondor's captain kept falling on him and the expression told him to take what he wanted and be done with it.

It was not that easy, however, and Boromir should have known that!  He bit his bottom lip and furrowed his brows, trying to come up with something brilliant to distract the Elf for just a moment.. He scanned the situation with eager eyes, and avoided Boromir's gaze (it seemed the captain was quite agitated by now), but something caught his eyes and a whirlpool of ideas careened through the young Hobbit's mind.

Boromir's sword was drawn and he was not looking happy. A smile curved on the Hobbit's mouth – a rarely seen maniacal smile that made Boromir's eyes pass Legolas' face and arch a brow at the Hobbit. He quickly turned his attention back to the Elf so neither ranger or archer would notice him looking at the Halfling.

Pippin positioned Boromir's knife where he was planning on swiping off a lock of elf hair, and prepared to snatch it up right after. Silently, he counted himself off…

Gandalf had nearly given up by the time Pippin had decided to strike. He had tossed his staff to the ground and pulled his tall hat over his blue eyes, enjoying the stillness and silence (save for a few whispers of Legolas' voice and the wind in the poor trees). That is until a high pitched, boyish cry of a hobbit voice broke the quiet. It was not the sound that disturbed the wizard, it was what the Hobbit had shouted.

"Legolas, Boromir is trying to kill you!"

Legolas cried out as a Hobbit hand his pale, silk hair and then let go as fast as he had seized it. Boromir had instinctively readied his sword in battle position, and by the time he figured out what was happening Aragorn had his own sword drawn and stood in front of Legolas while Pippin tried to retreat.

The Hobbit, in his attempt to run away as fast as his little legs would carry him, plowed himself between Aragorn's knees and as a result brought the king of Gondor down onto the Prince of Mirkwood in a flailing heap of Elf arms and human legs. Pippin felt power rush through his veins and surge into his heart, and he latched his fingers around Boromir's three middle fingers and attempted to pull him along.

With his fingers nearly torn from their sockets, Boromir could think of nothing to do but follow his (now regretted) accomplice. Gandalf was yelling about something down below (probably at them), and the sound of it threw Boromir back to a day in his childhood when he and his brother were running for the sake of their hides from their father. He felt ridiculous; like a boy more than a solider.

He risked a glance over his shoulder and saw something he would not soon forget, and almost forced laughter from his chest: Aragorn with his legs in the air, trying to get off of Legolas while the Elf indignantly tried to get to his feet while shoving the human off at the same time.

"This way!" Pippin gasped from in front of him, and before he knew it he had his back flattened against a rock ridge that was a little past his height, with a panting Hobbit beside him. Boromir, finally catching up to his senses, looked down at Pippin with a mix of anger and doubt concerning what step to take next. Pippin held up the lock of golden hair and offered Boromir a triumphant smile. "We did it!"

"We did it?!" Boromir repeated savagely in a whisper (no need to let Gandalf know where they were) , and the young Took shrank away from the angry man. "The Dark Lord himself must have possessed me to agree to help you and your selfish little cause! I do not wish to think of what Legolas and Mithrandir are planning for us upon our return!"

"Mithrandir?"

Boromir scowled and corrected himself, putting the wizard's name into simple terms. "Gandalf."

"I hope he doesn't spank us." Pippin murmured quietly, worry in his tone and sparking in his eyes.

Boromir's own voice increased in pitch. "Us?" He could not think of anything more indignifying than being spanked by Gandalf the Grey. He shook his head to get the mental pictures from his mind and turned back to the Hobbit. "Well…what do you think we should do?"

"Stay here until Gandalf and Legolas aren't mad anymore.."

Boromir groaned.

--- --- ---

Legolas, who should have been first on his feet, was eventually pulled up by the last person he would have liked to be aided by. He grumbled a thank you to the Dwarf and brushed himself off, sliding a brief glance Aragorn's way. Gandalf now stood before them.

"Well…what was all this racket about? Where are the other two?" he asked, stroking his long grey beard in both irritancy and habit. He tipped his hat, once again out of habit, and scanned the rock. "Come, Aragorn, Legolas…what happened?"

"I…I am not sure." Legolas replied, sounding almost shaken. "First Boromir came to apologize to Aragorn about their earlier words, and then Pippin moved somewhere behind me. Boromir drew his sword and suddenly the young hobbit pulled my hair, let go, and shouted that Boromir wanted to kill me."

Aragorn moved behind the elf and ran his fingers over the softness of his hair, examining it. "It seems he did not simply let go, Legolas…a large chunk is missing."

"A large chunk?" Legolas spun around and his hands were instantly stroking his hair as though it were a traumatized child. "How large…?"

"Master Elf, that is the least of our concerns." Gandalf reminded the Prince of Mirkwood, and Legolas colored slightly at his own vanity. The wizard furrowed his thick brows and pushed the brim of his hat back enough so he could see fully around him. "We must find those two. I know you remember what happened last time we let the young Took wander off with that haughty soldier."

"Yes, well I would like to know why they wanted a chunk of my hair." Legolas said from somewhere behind Gandalf, and the wizard repressed a smile.

"Somehow I get the feeling that Master Pippin was the ringleader of this mishap." said Aragorn to the wizard, and a smile crept on his face. "Boromir looked very puzzled, if the word fits, when Pippin announced that he wanted to kill Legolas."

There was an angry shout from behind a rock ridge, and all faces turned toward the noise. Gandalf rolled his eyes, and began to make his way over. "Well…at least we know where they are hiding. Excuse me, I will return shortly."

--- --- ---

"You doltish, thick-witted, block-head of a Hobbit!" Boromir raged, and Pippin desperately begged him to lower his voice. "Every time I attempt to do you a favor I end up getting in some kind of trouble with that antique of a wizard!"

"He'll hear you!"

"No he will not, Peregrin Took!" Boromir hissed, and cracked all ten of his knuckles. "Now I am going back up there and explaining every detail of your insipid plan and you are coming with me!" He roughly seized the Hobbit's arm and began to march back up the ridge. They had just passed it when cold fingers bit into the top of the captain's ear, and into the Hobbit's as well. Boromir froze, feeling blood rush to his face as an all too familiar voice hit him.

"Antique of a wizard…eh, Captain?"

Boromir screwed his eyes shut and grimaced, but dared not move in the old man's grasp. Pippin was whimpering at his side. "You were not supposed to hear that – "

"I have been pinching your ear since you were crawling, Boromir of Gondor." the Wizard growled, but Boromir picked up the amusement in his voice as he refused to release the two and dragged them back to the camp by the ear. "I know that is not the first time you have referred to me as that."

"I never called you old, Gandalf!" Pippin piped from beside him. "Will you let me go now?"

"No." The wizard replied, and Pippin wailed as his ear was pinched harder, and finally, they approached the Fellowship. Gandalf shook Pippin first. "I believe you owe Aragorn and Legolas an apology."

"I'm sorry." he mumbled to the ground, and Gandalf released him. The Hobbit ran to Merry, rubbing his ear and sniffling loudly. Merry patted his cousin's shoulder but looked to Gandalf, who still held Boromir tightly. Boromir, however, did not respond to the pain of having his ear pinched.

"And you, Boromir. Do you have anything to apologize for?"

Boromir fought the urge to twist out of the wizard's grip, but paused, and then arched a brow. "Do I?"

"I would not think so, Boromir." Aragorn answered firmly, and looked to Gandalf. "Is that necessary, Mithrandir?"

"I think he's enjoying it a bit much." Gimli pointed out, and it caused Legolas to smile despite himself.

"I suppose the rest of the Company have declared you a victim in all this, Boromir." Gandalf released the tall man and gave his shoulder a firm slap. "But let us hope that news does not reach Gondor of her captain being controlled by the ways of a mischievous Hobbit."

With that, Gimli sputtered into laughter, followed by the clear, musical ring of Legolas' laugh and then the Hobbits. Even Aragorn could not help but release a quiet laugh (that later gave into a series of heavy, loud laughs), and Gandalf smiled.

The wizard gathered up his staff and pulled his hat back down to just above his brows, giving Boromir a gentle slap on the cheek. "I would say being the center of amusement among your comrades is punishment enough, eh?"

"Yes…sir." Boromir muttered, and the wizard roared with laughter, continuing slowly down to the gates. The captain scowled behind the wizard's back and folded his arms, turning his back on the Fellowship. Pippin stood beside him and mirrored his hero's stance.

"Well…that wasn't so bad, eh, captain?" the Hobbit chimed, and Boromir shrugged.

"I suppose not. At least he did not spank us." when he looked down, he saw in the face of the hobbit an expression of victory and triumph, and he could not help but break into a smile. "And at least we succeeded. If 'succeed' is the word."

"We're underground conquering heroes." Pippin whispered to him. "And Gandalf doesn't know we actually won!"

Boromir cast a glance over his shoulder at the departing Gandalf. "Antique of a wizard.." he muttered, and his heart leapt with sudden fear as the old man replied,

"I heard that."