chapter 1:
Hi, I'm Kay. Kay Bennett. I should have had a different last name by now but
at the age of thirty five, I'm still not married. I would have preferred to have been Kay
Lopez-Fitzgerald but that's a dream - not a reality. I'm sort of getting ahead of myself.
Let me start off from the beginning, going twenty years back in time.
I was just a normal fifteen year old then. I had a younger sister Jessica, and my
friends were Simone and Reese. But my best friend was Miguel. He was my world and
I was his. We had grown up together in Harmony and by the time I was a teen I began
to fall in love with him. Friendship that had spanned over a decade was slowly but
surely turning into a potential romance. At least from my point of view. Don't get me
wrong - I could tell that Miguel was feeling the same way. He was just nervous. He
didn't want to wreck the friendship. And unfortunately, his nervousness is the only
reason we are not together now. If he was not apprehensive in asking me out, then he
would not have met Charity Standish (my long lost cousin) and fallen deep in love with
her.
As I neared high school graduation, Miguel and Charity got closer and closer.
And I became more and more manipulative. I tried desperately to get Miguel to be
mine. And when I made love to him through "Charity's essence" I thought for sure that
I had finally gotten my grip on him. But I was wrong. He went back to her. He told her
he loved her. He held her hand. Kissed her. Everything Miguel should have done to
me, he did to Charity. It killed me so; my manipulations were not enough. I had to
suffer through watching their romance.
I thought that Charity being Miguel's girlfriend was bad enough. But on one
autumn day, I went to my "hidden spot" to think and write in my journal. My hidden
spot was near Harmony's "A Lover's Land." That is where couples went for romance.
As I was lost in thought, I heard a familiar voice close by say, "Charity, will you marry
me? Will you be my wife?" Then I heard giggling and "yes Miguel, yes!"
I closed my eyes as this information set in. I knew this day would eventually
come but I had been dreading it so much! By the time I opened my eyes, tears were
falling down my cheeks. I was losing Miguel! I had just made love to him a week ago
and now he was proposing to Charity! I was losing my best friend, the only man I had
ever loved. Oh I know that I had lost him a long time ago - when he met Charity- but
now I was losing him for forever. Why was fate so cruel? Why did it single me out and
say No Kay Bennett Will Never Be Happy With Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald?! Why?
I cried for days and days as Miguel and Charity planned their wedding. They
wanted to have one soon so they were working on all the preparations at a steady
pace. I usually was not a crier, but this was worth letting a few tears out for. Miguel.
My world. He was like sand slipping through my hand. No one seemed to notice (or
care) about the pain I was going through. Mommy dearest was too happy for Charity to
notice how I felt. Jessica kept giving me looks like "you finally lost. Give it up
forever!"
Then a few days later, my father surprised me. He knocked on my bedroom
door as I was clutching my pillow and sobbing.
"Who is it?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"It's Daddy honey, can I come in?" I heard him say.
I quickly shed my tears away, as I let him in.
My dad was no fool. He could see how I felt. He knew I loved Miguel. He
always knew. He was the closest thing I had to an ally. And he was there that day
hugging me as I cried on his shoulder like I used to when I was little.
We didn't talk much, but there was a clear non-spoken understanding between
us and that was a comfort to me in itself.
* * * * *
Hi, I'm Kay. Kay Bennett. I should have had a different last name by now but
at the age of thirty five, I'm still not married. I would have preferred to have been Kay
Lopez-Fitzgerald but that's a dream - not a reality. I'm sort of getting ahead of myself.
Let me start off from the beginning, going twenty years back in time.
I was just a normal fifteen year old then. I had a younger sister Jessica, and my
friends were Simone and Reese. But my best friend was Miguel. He was my world and
I was his. We had grown up together in Harmony and by the time I was a teen I began
to fall in love with him. Friendship that had spanned over a decade was slowly but
surely turning into a potential romance. At least from my point of view. Don't get me
wrong - I could tell that Miguel was feeling the same way. He was just nervous. He
didn't want to wreck the friendship. And unfortunately, his nervousness is the only
reason we are not together now. If he was not apprehensive in asking me out, then he
would not have met Charity Standish (my long lost cousin) and fallen deep in love with
her.
As I neared high school graduation, Miguel and Charity got closer and closer.
And I became more and more manipulative. I tried desperately to get Miguel to be
mine. And when I made love to him through "Charity's essence" I thought for sure that
I had finally gotten my grip on him. But I was wrong. He went back to her. He told her
he loved her. He held her hand. Kissed her. Everything Miguel should have done to
me, he did to Charity. It killed me so; my manipulations were not enough. I had to
suffer through watching their romance.
I thought that Charity being Miguel's girlfriend was bad enough. But on one
autumn day, I went to my "hidden spot" to think and write in my journal. My hidden
spot was near Harmony's "A Lover's Land." That is where couples went for romance.
As I was lost in thought, I heard a familiar voice close by say, "Charity, will you marry
me? Will you be my wife?" Then I heard giggling and "yes Miguel, yes!"
I closed my eyes as this information set in. I knew this day would eventually
come but I had been dreading it so much! By the time I opened my eyes, tears were
falling down my cheeks. I was losing Miguel! I had just made love to him a week ago
and now he was proposing to Charity! I was losing my best friend, the only man I had
ever loved. Oh I know that I had lost him a long time ago - when he met Charity- but
now I was losing him for forever. Why was fate so cruel? Why did it single me out and
say No Kay Bennett Will Never Be Happy With Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald?! Why?
I cried for days and days as Miguel and Charity planned their wedding. They
wanted to have one soon so they were working on all the preparations at a steady
pace. I usually was not a crier, but this was worth letting a few tears out for. Miguel.
My world. He was like sand slipping through my hand. No one seemed to notice (or
care) about the pain I was going through. Mommy dearest was too happy for Charity to
notice how I felt. Jessica kept giving me looks like "you finally lost. Give it up
forever!"
Then a few days later, my father surprised me. He knocked on my bedroom
door as I was clutching my pillow and sobbing.
"Who is it?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"It's Daddy honey, can I come in?" I heard him say.
I quickly shed my tears away, as I let him in.
My dad was no fool. He could see how I felt. He knew I loved Miguel. He
always knew. He was the closest thing I had to an ally. And he was there that day
hugging me as I cried on his shoulder like I used to when I was little.
We didn't talk much, but there was a clear non-spoken understanding between
us and that was a comfort to me in itself.
* * * * *