2am Coffee (Chakotay/Torres)
By Mara/Rommie/Nari (The One Of Many Names)
"Didn't your shift end hours ago?" Commander Chakotay asked as he leaned against a wall in engineering.
Lt. B'Elanna Torres planned on ignoring Chakotay, until she caught a whiff of coffee. She turned and saw the two mugs in his hand. "Is one of those for me?" she asked.
Chakotay passed her one of the mugs, and watched as she gulped half of it down at once. "You want to tell me what's troubling you?"
"If I say no will you leave me alone?"
"No."
B'Elanna sighed and set the mug down. "I moved the last of my stuff out of Tom's quarters today."
Chakotay nodded. "I heard. Does this mean you're not going back?"
"I messed with my... with Miral's genetics, Chakotay. I changed her DNA, even though Tom said he wouldn't care if she had Klingon ridges. He hid it on the bridge, and he tried to hide it from me, but he was hurt. He could never forgive me for doing that."
"You're wrong. Paris loves you, B'Elanna, no matter what stupid thing you do. And Miral does, too."
"She doesn't love me. When she'd cry at night, if I tried to care for her she'd just scream louder until Tom came. The second she was in his arms she'd call down again and go to sleep. She hates me."
"No, she just knows you're uncomfortable with babies. Especially in the middle of the night when you tend to growl."
"Exactly, what kind of mother is uncomfortable with her baby?"
Chakotay sighed. "B'Elanna, you're not someone who has a calming effect on a baby, so what? The reason she calms down for Paris is because he's still like a great big kid himself! When she grows up and gets to be more mature than him, you're the one she'll like more."
B'Elanna remained silent and took another sip of the coffee. "I'll never be the kind of mother Miral deserves," she finally said as she turned back to her work.
"B'Elanna, you could be a great mother, if you tried. I'm not saying you should get back together with Paris, but you shouldn't just turn your back on Miral. She needs her mother."
"Tom will find a new one for her soon enough."
"You're making excuses."
B'Elanna turned around again. "Do you really think it will take Paris long to find someone new? He's probably all ready talking with the Delaney Sisters again!" she said, delibrately using her soon to be ex-husband's last name to distance herself from her words. She didn't want *her* Tom to find someone new.
"Maybe a few years ago he would have rebounded quickly, but not now. He loves you, B'Elanna."
"You're wrong Chakotay. He might be upset now, but he'll realize it's better for me to leave now, before he hates me."
"I don't think he ever would."
"You don't know him like I do," B'Elanna said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I want to finish a few repairs before I go to bed."
Chakotay watched her turn away and go back to work. After a moment, he picked up both coffee mugs and headed to the door. As he reached the threshhold, he turned back to watch B'Elanna for a long moment again. "Just think about it. Miral needs her mother."
As she heard the doors close behind Chakotay, B'Elanna sighed and shook her head. "She deserves better than me."
End Of Part Two
By Mara/Rommie/Nari (The One Of Many Names)
"Didn't your shift end hours ago?" Commander Chakotay asked as he leaned against a wall in engineering.
Lt. B'Elanna Torres planned on ignoring Chakotay, until she caught a whiff of coffee. She turned and saw the two mugs in his hand. "Is one of those for me?" she asked.
Chakotay passed her one of the mugs, and watched as she gulped half of it down at once. "You want to tell me what's troubling you?"
"If I say no will you leave me alone?"
"No."
B'Elanna sighed and set the mug down. "I moved the last of my stuff out of Tom's quarters today."
Chakotay nodded. "I heard. Does this mean you're not going back?"
"I messed with my... with Miral's genetics, Chakotay. I changed her DNA, even though Tom said he wouldn't care if she had Klingon ridges. He hid it on the bridge, and he tried to hide it from me, but he was hurt. He could never forgive me for doing that."
"You're wrong. Paris loves you, B'Elanna, no matter what stupid thing you do. And Miral does, too."
"She doesn't love me. When she'd cry at night, if I tried to care for her she'd just scream louder until Tom came. The second she was in his arms she'd call down again and go to sleep. She hates me."
"No, she just knows you're uncomfortable with babies. Especially in the middle of the night when you tend to growl."
"Exactly, what kind of mother is uncomfortable with her baby?"
Chakotay sighed. "B'Elanna, you're not someone who has a calming effect on a baby, so what? The reason she calms down for Paris is because he's still like a great big kid himself! When she grows up and gets to be more mature than him, you're the one she'll like more."
B'Elanna remained silent and took another sip of the coffee. "I'll never be the kind of mother Miral deserves," she finally said as she turned back to her work.
"B'Elanna, you could be a great mother, if you tried. I'm not saying you should get back together with Paris, but you shouldn't just turn your back on Miral. She needs her mother."
"Tom will find a new one for her soon enough."
"You're making excuses."
B'Elanna turned around again. "Do you really think it will take Paris long to find someone new? He's probably all ready talking with the Delaney Sisters again!" she said, delibrately using her soon to be ex-husband's last name to distance herself from her words. She didn't want *her* Tom to find someone new.
"Maybe a few years ago he would have rebounded quickly, but not now. He loves you, B'Elanna."
"You're wrong Chakotay. He might be upset now, but he'll realize it's better for me to leave now, before he hates me."
"I don't think he ever would."
"You don't know him like I do," B'Elanna said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I want to finish a few repairs before I go to bed."
Chakotay watched her turn away and go back to work. After a moment, he picked up both coffee mugs and headed to the door. As he reached the threshhold, he turned back to watch B'Elanna for a long moment again. "Just think about it. Miral needs her mother."
As she heard the doors close behind Chakotay, B'Elanna sighed and shook her head. "She deserves better than me."
End Of Part Two