Part Three
KESSEL'S GARRISON MOON
Stormtroopers are busy at work.
A voice whispers…
VOICE
Tatooinnnnnne….Ssssskywalkerrrr….
Nine Super Star Destroyers begin to crawl out of the docking bay. Now, these babies are 8 kilometres long, with about 280 000 crew, 1 600 gunners…
VOICE
Gettttttt onnnn withhhhh ittttt……
Fine, FINE!!!
EXT. SPACE AROUND CORUSCANT
Yoda's X-Wing comes out of hyperspace near Coruscant, and continues its way towards the planet's surface.
INT. JEDI TEMPLE ARCHIVES
Yoda pulls a data entry out of the archives and slips the disk into his datapad. It reads:
The year 3996 BBY (Before Battle of Yavin). Here follows the account of Ulic Qel-Droma, fallen Jedi, and the finding of the Gem of Power.
"I have it. The Gem, it's mine. It's ALL MINE, YOU HEAR ME??? And if I die, then I'm going to pass it down to my son, and his son, and his son…and so on.
You'll only be able to if it's the real Gem or not if you hit it with Force lightning, and the writing only becomes very clear when the Dark is rising again."
Well, yeah, that pretty much sums it all up.
YODA
(Murmurs)
Luke…grave danger, he is in.
EXT. SPACE AROUND CORUSCANT
Yoda's X-Wing flies away from the planet, and disappears into hyperspace as soon as it is out of reach of gravity.
EXT. SPACE AROUND TATOOINE
Yoda's X-Wing appears out of hyperspace and heads for the red dust ball once again, despite how much the poor pilot hates the sand.
EXT. TATOOINE – SOME OTHER GUY'S HOMESTEAD – EVENING
A TIE Fighter from one of the Star Destroyers sets down at a homestead near Mos Espa. Sand blows up from underneath it as it lands, and a disgruntled moisture farmer steps out of his house, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and carrying a rifle in his other hand.
The TIE ramp lowers and a stormtrooper emerges.
MOISTURE FARMER
Bloody Sand People…
STORMTROOPER
Tatooinnnnnne….Ssssskywalkerrrr….
The moisture farmer looks befuddled.
MOISTURE FARMER
Sorry. No Skywalkers around this part. You might want to try the other side of Mos Eisley, just a few days' speeder drive from the spaceport.
He points in the direction of Mos Eisley.
The stormtrooper gazes off in the direction of the bustling spaceport town of Mos Eisley.
EXT. LARS HOMESTEAD – EVENING
Luke's speeder pulls up in the garage, back from Tosche Station, having finally got the power converters. He notices small, three-toed footprints in the sand leading into the homestead when he gets out of the garage. He follows them and opens the doors, stepping into the house.
INT. LARS HOMESTEAD – HALLWAY
The house is deathly quiet as Luke creeps into the house, weary of the intruder.
INT LARS HOMESTEAD – LIVING ROOM
Luke is suddenly hit over the head with an all too familiar gimer stick.
YODA
*whack* YAH!
Luke jumps a mile.
LUKE
ARRRRRGGGH! DON'T DO THAT!!!
YODA
Where is the Gem? Do you still have it?
LUKE
(stammers)
Um, well, it's, um, right here…
Luke fumbles for the pouch, which is still tied to his utility belt. As soon as the knot slips, Yoda snatches at it. He misses and accidentally punches Luke right in the –
LUKE
(doubles over in agony)
AGGH!
YODA
Oooh, so sorry, I am!
LUKE
(Sarcastically)
Yeah, well, I bet you are! I think you're looking for this thing.
Luke unties the pouch and hands it to Yoda, who promptly throws it on the table and strikes it with a blast of Force lightning. The bag shrivels up and crumbles to dust after a few moments, leaving the Gem, which Yoda then levitates up to Luke's eyes.
YODA
What is it that you see?
Luke squints, examining the Gem as it is turned around.
LUKE
Well, I don't see…Wait.
Letters begin to appear on the Gem, as slivers of light erupt from it. Luke holds his hand out underneath it, careful not to touch it.
LUKE
Wait, there's something here…but I can't read it.
YODA
Imperial language, invented by the Sith, that is. Say it here, I shall not, yet tell you what it means, I will.
LUKE
The Sith? What does it say?
Yoda shifts uncomfortably.
YODA
(Coughs)
Well…hmmm…erm…
The letter A, I see…the letter G also…
Luke sighs in exasperation as Yoda takes his time to work out what the Gem says.
TWO HOURS LATER…
YODA
(Triumphantly)
Got it, I have!
"A Gem, this is!" it says!
Luke looks at Yoda as if he is an idiot.
LUKE
What? That's it!
YODA
(Nods)
Written on the Gem, all that is!
Luke shakes his head.
LUKE
Geez, this is stupider than I thought!
YODA
Created by the Dark Lord Exar Kun, this Gem was, in the maelstrom of the planet Yavin. Took it, Ulic Qel-Droma did, from the lightsabre of Kun himself. Yes.
LUKE
And Uncle Owen found it on the Death Star.
YODA
(Nods)
Hm. For Owen's whole life I have watched him as he looked away to the future, to the horizon, daydreaming about the Ring. Never his mind on where he was. Hm. What he was doing! Hm. Made him seem to age as slowly as Harrison Ford, the Gem did, yes! Yet want to stay here longer, the Gem does not, Luke. Begun yet again, a Dark Age has. Heard it's true master's signal, the Gem has.
Luke blinks, surprised.
LUKE
But Kun was destroyed, wasn't he? He's dead, right?
VOICE
(Softly)
No…
YODA
(shakes head and coughs)
No, *cough, cough* not dead, not in spirit. Remains alive, his spirit does, in the lost temples of Yavin 4. As long as still in existence, the Gem is, as so will his spirit be. Only the Gem does Kun need to envelop the galaxy in another darkness. Searching for it, he is…completely bent, his mind is, twisted both by the Gem and by the Dark Side of the Force.
Wants, the Gem does, to be reunited with it's true Master. One, the Gem and the Owner are…never find each other, they must, Luke!
Luke snatches the Gem from Yoda's Force grip.
YODA
(Indignantly, shaking his fists)
ARRRRGH! LOSE MY CONCERNTRATION, YOU MADE ME!
LUKE
(Half-heartedly)
Sorry, Yoda…well, anyway, let's put it away, hide it somewhere. And we never talk about it. No one else knows that it's here, right?
Luke grins optimistically.
There is a silence.
Yoda coughs.
LUKE
(Grin becomes rather fixed)
Right?
YODA
Well…ahem…only one other, there is, who knows of Owen being in possession of the Gem. Hunted every nook and cranny of the galaxy, I have, for Palpatine, yet seems, it does, that found him first, the Sith did. Know I do not of how torturing they were to him, yet picked up two words, they did, from the gibberish. Yes. Tatooine, Skywalker, those two words were.
Luke pieces the information together and comes up with…
LUKE
Tatooine…Skywalker? But that's going to lead them…oh, sh-
EXT. HOMESTEAD ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF MOS ESPA, AWAY FROM THE SLAVE HOVELS
A security officer is confronted by a stormtrooper in a speeder and is shot down by the stormtrooper's rifle. The speeder roars past, leaving behind the security guard's smoking body.
INT. LARS HOMESTEAD – LIVING ROOM
Luke panics, shoving the Gem in Yoda's face.
LUKE
You take it, Yoda, go on!
Yoda jumps backwards, nearly tripping over his own robes.
YODA
No! Give it to me, you cannot!
LUKE
Geez, Yoda, I'm giving it to you!
He shoves the Gem forwards again, and Yoda continues to retreat.
YODA
Tempt me not, Luke! Receive it, I dare not, even if to keep it safe, it is! Understand you must, young Luke! Use the Gem, I would, if wanted to do good with it, I did! Yet through me, have a power too great and terrible, it would!
LUKE
(Whines)
But it can't stay here!
YODA
No! Stay on Tatooine, it cannot!
LUKE
Then what do I do!?
YODA
Stop that whining of yours first! Very annoying, it is!
Luke sulks.
YODA
(Cont'd)
Then make for Mos Eisley, you must, as quickly as your speeder allows.
LUKE
(Sulks)
Mos Eisley…but what about you, Yoda?
YODA
Know I do not, Luke. No answers to these questions, there are. See to the both wise and powerful Master Jedi, I must. Of what to do, only he will know. Leave your Skywalker name behind, you must. Unsafe outside of here, it has become. Only by day you must travel, and away from the main routes.
LUKE
(Complains)
You know I'm a good pilot, Yoda. I'll be fine!!!
Yoda rolls his eyes and begins to hobble backwards and forwards. Luke stares at him.
LUKE
What the hell are you doing?
YODA
(Grins)
Hobbling backwards and forwards, I am! Waiting for you to pack your things!
Luke's face clears.
LUKE
Oh!
He runs off to get packed for a very long journey, and is back in moments.
YODA
Hmm, pack quickly, you do! But far you have to go if want to set galactic record, you do! Two point one-four seconds, the time is!
LUKE
No, I am not interested in breaking the galactic record, thank you very much…
There is a noise outside the window.
YODA
Drop you must!
Luke throws himself to the floor as Yoda goes up to the window, stands on his toes and holds the gimer stick out, hitting something made of metal.
THREEPIO
Ouch!
There is a scarping noise as Yoda uses his gimer stick to lift Threepio through the window and into the house by his golden plating.
YODA
(Snaps)
Been eavesdropping, have you?
THREEPIO
(Babbles)
Oh no, I'm terribly sorry, Master Yoda, I was simply going about my business as usual. I was tending to the moisture vapourators just over there.
Threepio points behind him and Master Yoda tuts.
YODA
Rather late to be tending to vapourators, do you think not, hmmm?
THREEPIO
(Awkwardly)
Well, you see, Master Yoda, my aural receptors picked up raised voices coming from this homestead.
YODA
(Urgently)
What hear have you? Speak!
THREEPIO
Oh, I'm absolutely sure that it was nothing of any importance, sir. About ninety percent of what I heard was of a Gem and a Dark Lord, but please, Master Yoda, please don't deactivate me!
Yoda grins evilly.
THREEPIO
Oh no, I'd forgotten how much I hated to see that smile…
LUKE
(Shakes his head, wincing)
You're in trouble, Threepio…
YODA
Well, perhaps deactivate you I shall not, because have an important task for you, I do.
EXT. TATOOINE DESERT – DAWN THE NEXT DAY
A speeder zooms past, carrying Luke, Yoda and Threepio. Blasting from the stereo is "I Will Survive". Threepio stares straight ahead in the drivers seat, trying as best he can to ignore Luke and Yoda, who are waving their hands in the air and singing (more like wailing) along at the top of their voices. Yoda sings with his own syntax just to annoy Threepio even further.
YODA
SURVIVE, I WILL! AS LONG AS LEARN HOW TO LOVE, I DO, STAY ALIVE, I KNOW I WILL!!!
THREEPIO
(Loudly, over music)
BUT MASTER YODA, SIR, WON'T THIS ATTRACT ATTENTION???
YODA
YES IT WILL, BUT PASS US OFF AS NUTCASES, THE DARK LORD'S SERVANTS WILL!
THREEPIO
I SEE YOUR POINT, SIR!
The speeder pulls up in the middle of a rather deep depression in the ground. Yoda takes a remote out of his pocket.
YODA
(Seriously)
Take care, the two of you must. Servants in many places, the Dark Lord has. Remember this, Luke – trying to return to its true Master, the Gem is. Wants to be found, it does. And my CD, give back to me.
Threepio looks uncertainly at the CD in his hand, unsure of whether or not it was good for the galaxy to give it to Yoda.
YODA
TO ME, GIVE IT!!!
Threepio hands him the CD. Yoda presses a button on the remote, and his X-Wing seems to materialise in front of them, for its cloaking shield has been dropped. The canopy opens up and Yoda climbs in, stepping into a flight suit and pulling on a helmet as he does. His Artoo unit beeps a greeting. The canopy then draws shut and Yoda takes off.
LUKE
(After Yoda's X-Wing has disappeared into the sky)
Well, we'd better get going.