Part Four
AN: Duro is a planet that has an atmosphere too poisonous to live in and so the people live in cities that orbit the planet.
A Holocron is a device that you can use to call up the spirits of Jedi who have long passed away and, who knows, maybe you can have a lovely chat.
EXT. TATOOINE – BEGGAR'S CANYON
The speeder slows to the stop as Beggar's Canyon begins to loom up in front of it.
LUKE
Stop the speeder, Threepio!
THREEPIO
But, Master Luke, I've already stopped it!
LUKE
Yeah, I know that. I just want to drive it through here.
Threepio is terrified at the thought that they might crash.
THREEPIO
(Splutters)
B-b-but sir! The chances of flying through this canyon and surviving are –
LUKE
Shut up! This way it'll be harder for the stormtroopers to follow us!
He throws Threepio out of the speeder and climbs into the driver's seat. Threepio lands on the dirt nearby with a slight clunk.
He stands up and brushes himself off, before shuffling over to the other side to get in the passenger seat.
THREEPIO
(Mutters)
I simply can't understand human behaviour…
He gets into the passenger's seat while Luke is grinning to himself.
LUKE
All right there, Threepio?
THREEPIO
(Complains)
No, Master Luke, how can I be alright? You just threw me out of the speeder like a wrestler would –
LUKE
(Ignoring Threepio)
You strapped in?
THREEPIO
(Continues)
Once again, no, Master Luke, I have not-
Luke lets out a manic laugh, pushes the control stick forward, and suddenly the speeder zooms off at full throttle.
THREEPIO
-ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!……
EXT. TATOOINE – CLIFF
A stormtrooper stands alone on a cliff, overlooking the Lars homestead and the surrounding area.
BBURRU, DURO'S LARGEST ORBITING CITY – HANGAR
Yoda's X-Wing lands. The canopy is pulled open and Yoda climbs out. A two-metre tall figure dressed entirely in black approaches him.
ANAKIN
(Mocking tone)
What the hell are you doing here, Yoda?
YODA
(Formally)
Master Skywalker. Good to see you, it is, hmm!
BBURRU – EXT. SPACESHIP FACTORIES
Yoda and Anakin walk past the extensive spaceship factories amongst a crowd of workers and techs (technicians) on their way to or from work.
ANAKIN
Are you sure about this? This couldn't happen, what with me being the Master Jedi!
YODA
(Smirks)
So, all-powerful, after all, you are not, hmm?
ANAKIN
(Indignantly)
Don't mess with me, Yoda! All these long years, the Gem has been on Tatooine…my %^&*en HOME, of all planets! GAAHHH!
He stops and begins to bash his helmeted head on a nearby pole.
YODA
Still have your helmet on, you do, Master Skywalker.
Anakin stops banging his head on the pole and turns on Yoda.
ANAKIN
And yet YOU were stupid enough not to notice it! I KNEW your love of those stupid people has blinded you!
YODA
(Grins)
Forgotten that born on Tatooine as well, you were, have you not?
ANAKIN
(Meekly)
I was talking about the moisture farmers, Yoda.
YODA
(Grin widens)
Ah, but married a moisture farmer, your mother did, hmmm!
ANAKIN
(Whines)
Oy, you shut up about Mummy! Anyway, how did we end up talking about this?
YODA
(Shrugs)
Know, I do not. Anyway, short on time, we are! Yet time enough to kick Exar Kun in the pants!
Anakin looks at him as if he is stupid.
ANAKIN
Of course we have enough time to kick that dude in the pants! I mean, how long does it take? Like, one second, maybe even half?
It's now Yoda's turn to look at Anakin as if he's stupid.
YODA
Meant that metaphorically, I did! Hit his forces where it hurts most, we may, if given enough time!
ANAKIN
(winces underneath his mask)
Oh, yeah. I understand. The pants. Where it hurts most.
(Recovers)
But what time do you think we have, Yoda?
INT. ANAKIN'S MANSION – THRONE ROOM
Anakin sits on the throne, while Yoda stares jealously at everything around him.
ANAKIN
Welcome to my home, Yoda. I know it's not much, but –
YODA
(In amazement)
Not much??? Not much, you say, hmm? Want your house, I do! Slimy mud hole, my home on Dagobah is!
Anakin allows himself a triumphant grin, before continuing.
ANAKIN
Even though the guy can't take a physical body yet, Exar Kun has won back much of his former power. The Dark Side clouds our vision, so that gives him the advantage. He can see all, Yoda. Hidden inside that fortress of his, he can even see everything, right down to our very souls. You know what I'm talking about, right?
Yoda's eyes widen in astonishment.
YODA
Saying, you are….BIG BROTHER, he is?
ANAKIN
(Pauses)
I never thought of it that way. But, in a way, yes, he is. It is called the HoloCam of Kun. Exar Kun is gathering all evil, and he could very soon destroy the entire galaxy with the army that he has assembled.
YODA
Find out, how did you?
Anakin leads him into another room and activates a holoprojector. The display shows a small, handheld cube.
Yoda looks at him severely.
YODA
Very dangerous, a Dark Jedi's Holocron is.
ANAKIN
(Shrugs)
Tell me, Yoda, why should we be afraid to use it?
YODA
(Narrows his eyes)
Influence you easily, spirits of Dark Jedi can!
Yoda once again has a brief vision of a clouded figure as the holoprojector is switched off.
ANAKIN
There's a lot less time than you think there is, Yoda. The Nine TIE Fighters have already crossed Hutt Space in direction of the Corellian Run.
Yoda realises that Tatooine is not far off the hyperspace route called the Corellian Run.
YODA
Reached Tatooine, they have!
ANAKIN
Let's face it, Yoda, they're going to find the Gem and kill the guy who has it.
YODA
…Luke…
He starts for the door, but finds that it has been locked from the outside.
YODA
(Grunts, trying to pry the door open)
Stupid to lock the doors from the outside, you were! MMMMMM!!!
ANAKIN
(Scoffs)
You didn't really think that a single farmboy could bring down the entire Empire, did you? No one can do such a thing! All we can do is join him, Yoda. It's the only wise decision.
YODA
Wise? Wise, you say? Joining force with evil was wise since when, hmm?
Anakin – now Darth Vader ignites his lightsabre as Yoda also ignites his. As they clash, the room is filled with the light of the blades as the blaze away, and the humming and sizzling as they cut through the air. Vader eventually knocks Yoda's lightsabre from his hand and the handle falls to the floor with a seemingly deafening clatter.
VADER
Fine. I gave you the chance to join me. But you've chosen the hard way.
Waves of Force lightning lance out from Vader's fingertips and strike Yoda with terrifying ferocity. Yoda writhes in pain as the lightning lifts him towards the ceiling, and he eventually falls unconscious.
EXT. THE OTHER END OF BEGGAR'S CANYON
The speeder zooms away from the canyon, Luke yelling triumphantly, while Threepio sits in stunned silence, completely rattled.
LUKE
(Punches the air)
YEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
THREEPIO
Let's never, ever do that again!
LUKE
(Innocently)
But why not, Threepio? It's fun!
Threepio rounds on Luke.
THREEPIO
(Angrily)
Master Luke, I began to think we'd never make it out alive at the speed you were driving!
LUKE
(Incredulously)
The speed I was going?
(Rolls eyes)
Pfft, that was for babies!
THREEPIO
(Squeaks)
Babies? Oh, my!
LUKE
Besides, Threepio, we're still on Tatooine, it couldn't be any worse than this!
At that moment, another speeder, carrying Artoo and Detoo, seems to appear out of thin air in front of them. Luke swerves to try and avoid it.
LUKE
HOLY %^&*!!! WHAT THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY'RE DOING???
ARTOO
*What the - ?*
DETOO
(Grumbles)
*Damn it, the cloaking shield still doesn't work!*
ARTOO
*Cloaking shield? No wonder we couldn't see anything!*
DETOO
*You're an idiot, Artoo.*
ARTOO
*Yeah, I love you too.*
Luke continues to yell at them.
LUKE
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NEXT TIME, WILL YOU?
ARTOO
(Points accusatively at Detoo)
*It's not my fault. It's his!
He suddenly activated the cloaking shield and, like, you know how you can't see in or out of it when it's up. Well, we were just testing ours out to see what was wrong with it and it suddenly dropped on us again.*
DETOO
(Sarcastically)
*Hah! Yeah, you love me. Like hell!*
ARTOO
*Anyway, where the hell are you guys off to?*
Luke leans closer to Artoo and Detoo
LUKE
(Whispers)
Mos Eisley.
ARTOO
*You've gotta be kidding, right? Mos Eisley's back the way you came from!*
LUKE
Yeah, well, we're taking the long way. We're staying clear of the main routes there, because…
DETOO
*Because what?*
LUKE
Because…
A faint rumbling noise that can only be another speeder is heard, coming from the canyon. Luke hears it and glances back toward it fearfully
LUKE
…Oh, %^&*. Get into my speeder, quick! My shield still works.
ARTOO
*But -*
LUKE
Don't ask why, just do it!
THREEPIO
Oh –
LUKE
Shut up, Threepio!
Artoo and Detoo climb into Luke's speeder and Luke flips a switch and carefully manoeuvres the speeder away from their tracks, so as not to kick up any dust. As the shield goes up, everything visible from inside the speeder goes pitch black.
Everyone is silent with fear as the roaring of the approaching speeder grows ever louder, before suddenly stopping. Luke silently reaches for a torch and turns it on, which is of no worry to any of the others inside his speeder, because the light can't penetrate the shield.
They listen carefully as the stormtrooper speaks to someone via commlink (AN: that's the little microphone thing they use).
STORMTROOPER'S VOICE
Commander, this is RK-625 reporting. I found a speeder here –
Everyone shoots an accusative glance at Luke, who presses his lips in a thin line and tries hard not to shiver.
STORMTROOPER'S VOICE
(Cont'd)
- But it's been abandoned. There aren't any more life forms on my scope. I'll check Mos Espa and report back.
Luke shuts his eyes and leans backwards in his seat in silent relief. The roar of the stormtrooper's speeder starts up again and gets softer as the speeder cruises off into the distance. Luke waits until he is sure the speeder has disappeared over the horizon before letting down the shield.
He looks at the patch of ground where the droid tracks should have been and sees only settling dust.
LUKE
(Sighs)
Lucky he was going so fast that the dirt he kicked up covered up those tracks!
DETOO
*What was that all about?*
LUKE
(Whispers)
They want something I have, alright? It's important that we get to Mos Eisley right now.
ARTOO
*Right now? Luke, do you know how long it takes to get to Mos Eisley from this side of the canyon?*
LUKE
Yeah, about three or four hours if I floor it. Alright, let's chuck a U-turn.
He turns the speeder around and heads back into the canyon.
THREEPIO
(Shakes his head)
Oh, no…
The canyon is so narrow that the walls seem as though they are about to graze the side of the speeder. Threepio looks as if he is about to be sick. Everything seems a blur as Luke expertly weaves the speeder through the twists and turns of the canyon, his face contorted with concentration.
TWO MINUTES LATER…
The speeder is now in a wider part of the canyon and is still going at full throttle.
LUKE
Why do I have a bad feeling that something's going to happen?
ARTOO
(Warily)
*Erm, well…Luke, Detoo and I have picked up another three speeders behind us!*
DETOO
*Yeah, Imperial speeders…and it looks like they're following us!*
LUKE
Well, I know who'd be desperate enough to follow us into the canyon!
DETOO
*%^&*, how many of these things are we picking up!?*
LUKE
I don't know, Let's take the shortcut! We'll go for the ramp!
He veers the speeder to the right, and it zooms up an incline that is usually used as a service ramp in the Podraces. The speeder ends up on top of the canyon, and continues on this path out of the canyon.
LUKE
Well, that should give us an extra few hours when we get to Mos Eisley.
EXT. MOS EISLEY – STREET – EARLY EVENING
Luke's speeder pulls up out side the Mos Eisley Cantina, which has an inn out the back.
THREEPIO
Master Luke, might I ask why we are here? Master Yoda could be anywhere in Mos Eisley, for all we know!
LUKE
Trust me Threepio, this is the safest place to meet in Mos Eisley. Come on, Artoo, Detoo. Come on!
They make their way into the Cantina.