Part Seven
AN: Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left is actually a book by Robin Klein, one of my favourite authors as a kid. I just thought it was suitable for this, if you consider the position of Alderaan from Tatooine on the Galactic Wall Chart…
Oh, and Wookie speech translation (you know how Chewbacca can't speak English, he can only roar) in between these strangle little dashes ~~.
Did I forget to point out that anyone who plays the part of an Elf isn't human in this?
INT. ALDERAAN – COCKPIT
Luke, sprawled in the copilot's chair, lets out a yell of pain as he tries to lean to one side and touches one of his burns on the arm of the chair. He is weak and is fading into unconsciousness. His eyes begin to drift shut…
Leia takes one look at him, and then continues to stare ahead as she grips the controls, manoeuvreing the Alderaan in the direction of the planet Alderaan.
LEIA
(Through gritted teeth)
Not now, damn it! Don't do this to me now!
(Shrilly)
I haven't studied that many healing techniques, I gotta get you back to my dad…
Luke falls completely unconscious and his head lolls forwards.
LEIA
(Panicked)
Damn! Alright, healing techniques, healing techniques…what did Yoda teach me…? Oh, crap, I'm never going to make it back in time...
(Sighs gravely)
I'll just have to try.
She tentatively takes one hand off the controls and touches her fingers to Luke's forehead, falling into a trance allowing her to pilot at the same time as heal Luke.
The scene dissolves into light
BAIL ORGANA'S VOICE
Listen, Luke. Come back to us. We can't afford for you to die.
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – MEDICAL WING
The medical droid Too-Onebee extends an appendage to the bacta tank in which Luke is floating, unconscious, in the thick, gelatinous slime. A small light in the appendage glows red, and Luke's eyes snap open as he floats towards the surface.
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – MEDICAL WING – RECOVERY ROOM
Luke, sitting on a bed, zips up a brand new flight suit and admires himself in the mirror. All of his burns have long faded and he is back on his feet. He hears a tap at the door, and activates his commlink.
LUKE
Who's there?
YODA
(Over commlink)
Me, it is, you fool! Master Yoda!
LUKE
Hang on; I'll open the door.
He flips off his commlink and goes over to the door, activating a switch that unlocks it.
The door slides open, revealing the two-foot-tall Jedi Master, leaning on his gimer stick. He hobbles in and the door slides shut.
LUKE
Master Yoda, could you please tell me where I am and what time it is? I haven't been outside and no one's bothered to tell me what planet I'm on.
YODA
Ten hundred hours, the local time is, on the 24th day of the tenth lunar cycle. The planet Alderaan, you are on, in the palace of Bail Organa. Hm.
Very fortunate that here, you are. Any longer time and beyond our ability to heal, you would have been. Yet have some strength in you, you still do, young Skywalker!
Luke sits back down on the bed.
LUKE
What happened, Yoda? Why weren't you at Mos Eisley?
YODA
(Sighs gravely)
Apologise very deeply and sincerely, I do, young Skywalker, for delayed, I was.
His eyes go unfocused, remembering what happened.
EXT. BBURRU – TOP OF VADER'S MANSION
Vader has Yoda in a Force grip over the edge of the roof, trying to Force choke him. Yoda is in a meditation trance, steeling his neck with the Force and making it impossible for Vader to choke him.
VADER
(Rolls his eyes)
I give up!
With a flick of his hand, Vader sends Yoda flying over the surrounding buildings and in the distance.
YODA
YAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh…
Unseen by Vader, an X-Wing fighter with an open canopy skilfully manoeuvres around the buildings and catches Yoda. The canopy then snaps shut, and the spaceship zooms off into space.
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – MEDICAL QUARTERS – RECOVERY ROOM
Luke waves a hand in front of Yoda's eyes.
LUKE
You still there? Hello?
Yoda jumps and blinks.
YODA
(Slightly disoriented)
What? Yes, Luke?
LUKE
What's the matter?
Yoda slowly shuts his eyes, as if to block out everything that has happened, before opening them again.
YODA
Nothing. No, not for you to worry about.
LUKE
Oh.
The door slides open again and Threepio shuffles in, followed by Bail Organa himself.
THREEPIO
Master Luke! How wonderful to see you fully functioning again!
LUKE
Thanks, Threepio.
YODA
(Chuckles)
Hardly left you, Threepio has. Never before have I seen such dedication in a droid!
THREEPIO
We were so worried about you, Master Luke, isn't that correct, Master Yoda?
YODA
Saved, you were, by the medical skills of Bail Organa's droid, and by Princess Leia's Forces skills also!
BAIL
I bid you welcome to Alderaan, Luke Skywalker!
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – HALLWAYS
Luke explores the hallways of the Palace with Threepio. Two identical robotic figures can be seen.
LUKE
Artoo! Detoo!
Artoo's head swivels around.
ARTOO
*Is that Luke?*
DETOO
*Is it really him?*
Artoo sees Luke and Threepio.
ARTOO
(Ecstatic)
*IT IS! IT REALLY IS!*
DETOO
*LUKE! YOU'RE ALIVE!*
Artoo and Detoo charge over to Luke excitedly and almost bowl him over in the process.
ARTOO
*WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE FOR!*
LUKE
(Overwhelmed)
Thanks, guys, I'm fine, I really am!
DETOO
*Oy, have we got someone for you to see, haven't we, Artoo?*
LUKE
Really? Who is it!
OWEN'S VOICE
It ain't all that surprising to see you here, kid!
Luke looks up from the droids to see the familiar face of his uncle.
LUKE
Uncle Owen!
Uncle and nephew embrace.
LUKE
Uncle Owen, how have you been?
Owen hands him a datapad. Luke snatches it out of his hand and turns it on.
LUKE
(Reads)
Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left, a Moisture Farmer's Tale, by Owen Lars! That's great!
OWEN
(Regretfully)
I meant to visit places like Corellia…you know, to catch up with some old buddies, and then to go to Ithor to take another look at the Mother Jungle…even to visit Hoth again…
Luke winces.
LUKE
Why the hell would you want to go back there? I seem remember you talking about getting hypothermia from when that cave collapsed around you and Yoda, and he only used the Force to avoid the two of you getting crushed…then the ice began to melt!
OWEN
Yeah, but it brings back memories, you know?
LUKE
(Firmly)
I'm never going back to Tatooine again. It's so boring compared to everything out here!
OWEN
Ahh, Luke, you'll be saying something different when you've had your fair share of adventures…
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – ONE OF THE CONTROL ROOMS
Threepio bustles around the control room, looking for some spare droid parts that might just come in handy sometime. Luke walks in.
LUKE
Ready to leave so early?
THREEPIO
Oh, certainly, Master Luke. I've had quite enough of space travel if you don't mind my saying.
LUKE
But I thought you wanted to try your hand at being one of those waiter droids.
THREEPIO
Yes, I already have, but haven't we already done what Master Yoda has requested? We have delivered the Gem this far, and as you are already dully functional again, I was thinking that maybe the time was about to come when we would return home to Tatooine.
Luke thinks for a moment.
LUKE
You know what? I think you're right, Threepio. The Gem's going to be safe here on Alderaan, but I don't really want to go home yet…
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – BAIL'S OFFICE
Bail sits at his desk, Yoda sitting on a hovering chair in front of him.
BAIL
So, young Skywalker is now free of injury.
YODA
Hm. Physically healed, the burns seem to be, yet never complete the healing is. Carry the burns for the rest of his life he will, be whether he knows or not.
BAIL
But he has come so far to Alderaan carrying the Gem. By doing that, he's shown quite a resistance to its evil power.
YODA
Yes. Quite a burden it is, one that Skywalker should never have had to take on.
BAIL
Master Jedi, the Empire has made yet another move against us. Kun's forces are amassing in the region surrounding Yavin, his sights set here on Alderaan. And Master Anakin –
YODA
(Interrupts)
Vader, his name now is. Anakin is he no longer.
BAIL
Sorry, Vader, you say, has betrayed us. Many of our allies have turned against us already.
YODA
That treachery of his…hmmm…goes much deeper than we are able to see…
(Shuts his eyes)
Clouded by the Dark side, my vision is…
(Sighs, opens his eyes)
Hm…much cloning is he doing, as well as starship building on Bburru City…cloning humans.
Building an army capable to travel without rest, and starships that can travel at an even greater speed than those of our most advanced.
At point four-five times past the speed of light they can travel. Hm.
BAIL
Then only the Millennium Falcon will be able to outrun them…
Master Yoda, the Gem cannot stay here on Alderaan. Our Force powers will simply be unable to conceal the evil.
We don't have the strength to fight both Vader and Kun…
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – HANGAR
The Lady Luck, a sleek freighter also capable of space battle, settles down in the hangar. The ramp lowers, revealing Lando Calrissian, a dark hair, dark skinned businessman and also a gambler, in more ways than one.
Many aides, who arrived in their small snubfighters, follow him out of the hangar. On their way, they march past the Millennium Falcon.
Perched precariously on top of the Falcon is Han Solo, a tall, roguish man with pointed ears and looks as though he's just woken up.
He is busy yelling at a tech and pointing out everything that he's done wrong with trying to fix it.
HAN
(Pointing furiously at an open hatch that reveals different coloured wires)
No, no, stop it! This one goes there, that one goes there! Right?
The tech nods blankly, stunned.
Han jumps down from the Falcon and shakes his head with disgust.
HAN
Bloody techs. They don't know anything.
On his way out of the hangar, Han pushes past Chewbacca (or Chewie), an even taller creature who looks like a half-bear, half dog, coated with shaggy dark brown fur. Chewie spins around indignantly.
CHEWIE
~Hey, watch it!~
HAN
(Mutters)
Sorry 'bout that.
INT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – BAIL'S OFFICE
BAIL
The entire galaxy is in danger, Master Jedi, and it is all of us who must decide on how to rid the galaxy of this danger. Pointy-eared folk are passing slowly, Master Jedi, you and I soon to be two of those who have passed. Who will the galaxy look to when we are gone? Wookies and other tree-dwellers are content in the forest and most never want to leave.
YODA
Place our hope in humans, we must.
BAIL
Humans? Humans are weak and easily tempted! Their race is failing, and their spirit is all gone! Where are the truly loyal humans now, other than those loyal to the Empire? The others have forgotten all of their pride and dignity…it's because of them that the Gem has survived. I was there myself, on the day when their strength gave in!
FLASHBACK – 3 996 YEARS AGO – SPACE AROUND YAVIN
Two snubfighters zoom in closer to the surface of the burning gas giant. In one of them is Bail and in the other is Ulic Qel-Droma
INT. BAIL'S FIGHTER – COCKPIT
BAIL
All right, Ulic, you know what to do!
ULIC
(Over commlink)
Erm, do what?
BAIL
RELEASE THAT DAMNED SPARE PARTS CANISTER, YOU DUMBASS!!!
INT. ULIC'S FIGHTER – COCKPIT
Ulic grins sheepishly
ULIC
Erm…whoops?
INT. BAIL'S FIGHTER – COCKPIT
Bail gives a look of utter exasperation.
BAIL
WHAT!?
ULIC
(Over commlink)
Erm…I kind of, like…left the Gem back at base…
END FLASHBACK
The scene returns to Bail's office. Bail clenches his fists in fury.
BAIL
(Voice quivers with anger)
He lied to me and kept the Gem for himself, allowing evil to prevail. I should never have trusted that damned idiot. There's no strength left in humans anymore. They're scattered…divided…with no one to lead them.
YODA
Hm…a leader there still is. One who could unite the humans and reclaim that title.
BAIL
He gave up that path long ago, Master Jedi, and has chosen to live as a hermit.
EXT. ALDERAANIAN PALACE – BALCONY
Han and Lando sit at a table, playing a game of sabacc (an "electronic" card game – think a futuristic version of poker or something, but where all the values can change when the dealer pushes a button).
LANDO
Master of Sabres. That makes my total twenty.
Lando shows his cards. Han grins as he lays down his hand.
HAN
Idiot's Array! That sabacc pot is mine, pal.
He takes the pile of credits that have accumulated.
LANDO
Well, I'd better be off, then. See you later when I beat you, old buddy.
HAN
Whatever!
Lando leaves and Leia enters, glaring at Han, who looks up.
HAN
So, Your Worship, we meet again.
LEIA
(Coolly)
Yeah. So?
HAN
(Stands up, shoves the money in his pocket)
So what?
LEIA
So, I saw you cheat against Lando, using that skifter!
HAN
(Hotly)
I didn't cheat!
LEIA
Yeah, sure you didn't!
HAN
Why the hell do you always try to get me in worse trouble that I'm in and try to get your dad to lock me up, huh? I don't cheat at card games…well, not all the time…You know why I think you do that?
LEIA
Why?
HAN
I bet it's just because you can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight!
Leia shoot him a ferocious glare, but he continues to grin smugly.
HAN
Come on, admit it!
Leia looks almost vulnerable.
HAN
(Triumphantly)
Ah-haah! Come on, admit it!
LEIA
(Laughs)
You're imagining things.
HAN
(Triumphantly)
Oh, am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Leia slaps him across the cheek.
LEIA
I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie!
HAN
(Rubbing his cheek)
I can arrange that!
He turns on his heel and storms indoors.
HAN
(Cont'd, retreating)
YOU COULD USE A GOOD KISS!!!