Ginny's Diary
June 30
I never thought I'd be doing this…writing in a diary seems so childish. And though all I really want is to grow up, I find myself coming back here. I guess letting out a bit of frustration from time to time is okay. Let it be known: if the twins get their hands on this- there will be hell to pay.
And that's just it- the twins, Mom and Dad…everyone. They don't take me seriously. They just don't understand. I try so hard to be grown up, but my efforts go unnoticed. I will always be little Ginny, the cute baby sister. Ron is the only one who has come close to understanding. Sometimes I think he has it worse than me; I know my brothers tease him all the time (it's really hard not to when he acts the way he does…poor Hermione…). Ron and I have always been closer; when Fred and George went off to Hogwarts, we were the only ones left. But now it seems even he doesn't give a second glance. He has his own friends now.
I remember the way things used to be. I was five, Ron only six, and the twins going on nine. Percy, Bill and Charlie were all attending Hogwarts. That Christmas everyone came home to the Burrow, our huge family of nine plus so many other relatives, you'd have thought our house would have collapsed if one more person stepped through the door. The twins were running around the house, doing what they do best, creating havoc. I believe they had stolen Percy's glasses, who had been trying to read a book he could hardly lift up in a small corner of our living room (it being Percy's first year at Hogwarts, he had felt he needed to get ahead as much as possible, those O.W.L.S. were but five years away- and if he wanted to be Head Boy, he absolutely needed top marks…). Ron and I were examining the oddly shaped gifts under our droopy little tree (the angel topper was too heavy for the tiny tree, so it was rather bendy). The gifts were irresistible- the glittered from the fairy lights decorating the room- there was no way you could keep two curious children from them. We would shake them and listen to them. But even at that age, we knew better than to touch any presents that were signed from Fred and George. After everyone went to sleep, Ron and I would sneak out of bed to go see them again. It was our little tradition. When he started at Hogwarts, it was the first year we didn't spend Christmas together.
First Year- it should have been the most exciting year of my life. I would finally be able to join Ron and my brothers again. My expectations were high and my hopes up. Only instead I discovered my brother had done what any normal boy would have- he had made friends, and apparently there wasn't any room for me in their little circle. To top it off, that whole diary situation…and the chamber…well, you can understand why it's been a while since I've done this. There was one thing that brightened my first time to Hogwarts. Actually it was a year before my time at Hogwarts. That glorious day…the cute little boy with glasses and messy hair. He had strikingly green eyes. I saw him before Ron's first year, at King's Cross. I will never forget the first time I actually met Harry. It was at the Burrow- Harry had come to stay with us until school began. He noticed me- which I found shocking, because usually I can run through the kitchen screaming bloody murder and Mom wont even look up from her cookbook. Ugh, of course, knowing my luck, I had to lean in the butter dish. Actually, I've found that many unfortunate things, similar to this incident, seem to happen when I'm around Harry. And with brothers like Fred and George, it can only get worse.
With Fourth Year ending, I regret to say that I have never confronted Harry about…well, you know. I know he knows, but it just isn't the same. Believe me, it isn't like I haven't thought about it, or tried (I'm still trying to forget that singing Valentine). And with the Yule Ball and everything? If only I hadn't agreed to go with Neville! He's nice, but my feet were going to fall off if he stepped on them while dancing one more time. I was so close to going with Harry. I shouldn't have given up so easily. I guess I'm just scared. He probably thinks I'm a baby as well…just Ron's little sister. One day, I'll make him see me as just Ginny.
So you see, it doesn't seem like there is anything left I can do. Maybe I'm trying to grow up too fast, maybe I'm not ready. But a part of me just wants to be seen as an individual, as Ginny Weasley, who is most definitely not five years old anymore. I've come to realize that no matter how old I get, at home I will always be my parents' baby girl and my brothers' subject of torment. And at school- nobody. Yet.