Chapter FOUR!
Legolas was happy. He had a lock of Haldir's hair, but he still missed his love-bunnikins. He ignored Gimli as he rambled about 'How badly that elf-woman wanted me!'/
Meanwhile, the others in their respective boats were also conversing. Merry and Pippin were giggling as Boromir remarked about how much Glorfindel look like the Lady Galadriel with his hair dyed.
Legolas was distraught (Can we say, moodswings?). He had lost his little cupcake forever. He had the hair - But nothing compared to the 'real thing'. And he WAS the real thi.. Although, Haldir's friends had joked about.. Nah, he was definitely born a guy. Legolas hoped.
They camped along the riverbank. Aragorn was conjuring spirits around an open fire and the question popped up "Are you looking for someone?" Merry and Pippin got very scared after a while. They hadn't seen who had said that but it was a low, grumbly voice with the sugestion that the person had 'manly stubble' (Now, who does that put to mind? *coughHEIROFGONDORcough*)
(A/N: Oink!)
While Aragorn role-played Rent Boy for Boromir, Frodo was busy, er, 'borrowing' Sam from Arwen. To be precise, he was stuffing the hobbit into a potato sack and dragging him away to one of the empty boats. They rowed away, Arwen standing on the riverbank, whining, "I'm gonna tell Daddy!"
Merry and Pippin where standing away form everyone, they were afraid after all. But then they were not so nicely taken away by a group of Uruk-Hai. These beasts were teasing them on the way to Isengard.They were saying hobbits are very tiny and short, and therefor means they aren't too well equipt. But, Merry and Pippin noticed, they couldn't talk.
The sounds of "But sir, that costs extra!" were coming from Aragorn's tent. Gimli was more than mildly disturbed by this. Especially when the grunts that came in reply were very feminine. If Arwen was busy stamping her foot and throwing a tantrum on the river bank, then who was in the tent with Aragorn (And since when did he charge? He used to give it away in his youth..)
Suddenly, a very distressed Boromir ran out of the tent, sobbing. "Stop making fun of my voice! I decided I wanted to be a professional singer the other night while I was drunk, testicle removal was the only way to stop my voice from breaking!" Aragorn followed Bormir outside, sniggering. "You never paid me, Boromir!" Boromir replied "Jerk!" sounding uncannily like Galadriel had when she had said the same to him.
Unfortunately, Boromir, in his distress, was not watching where he ran. He ran straight into another pack of Uruk, and his girlish screams were heard from miles away.
Aragorn, crying, ran up to Boromir. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I ever made fun of your, er, aspiration to be a singer."
"I would have counted you my brother.. My rentboy.. My french maid."
Aragorn was vaguely disturbed - Boromir really -did- have a thing for role-play.
As Boromir died dramatically and triumphantly, Aragorn was able to hold one last make-out session.
"Gimli!" A cry rang out from a few feet away "What ARE you doing to my, er, not-so-little hobbit?!"
"I'm, er, tasting it for diseases, Legolas!"
"Yeah, right."
Boronir suddenly sat up "Don't flatter yourself, it's not that big!"
Aragorn turned back to Boromir. "You are supposed to be dead, shut up!"
"I'm not dead."
"Well, you're very ill, you'll be dead soon." Said Aragorn annoyedly.
"I'm getting better!"
"No, you're not."
"I feel happy!!"
Aragorn was getting pretty pissed off around about now.
"You're not fooling anyone you know."
"I think I'll go for a walk."
"Look, "Aragorn said to Gimli. "Can you do me a favor?"
Gimli strode up to Boromir, took his ax handle and hit him over the head, killing him.
"Thanks."
And the three of them strode off happily into the sunset, Arwen running up and trailing behind them, saying she missed her teddy-bear.
Legolas was happy. He had a lock of Haldir's hair, but he still missed his love-bunnikins. He ignored Gimli as he rambled about 'How badly that elf-woman wanted me!'/
Meanwhile, the others in their respective boats were also conversing. Merry and Pippin were giggling as Boromir remarked about how much Glorfindel look like the Lady Galadriel with his hair dyed.
Legolas was distraught (Can we say, moodswings?). He had lost his little cupcake forever. He had the hair - But nothing compared to the 'real thing'. And he WAS the real thi.. Although, Haldir's friends had joked about.. Nah, he was definitely born a guy. Legolas hoped.
They camped along the riverbank. Aragorn was conjuring spirits around an open fire and the question popped up "Are you looking for someone?" Merry and Pippin got very scared after a while. They hadn't seen who had said that but it was a low, grumbly voice with the sugestion that the person had 'manly stubble' (Now, who does that put to mind? *coughHEIROFGONDORcough*)
(A/N: Oink!)
While Aragorn role-played Rent Boy for Boromir, Frodo was busy, er, 'borrowing' Sam from Arwen. To be precise, he was stuffing the hobbit into a potato sack and dragging him away to one of the empty boats. They rowed away, Arwen standing on the riverbank, whining, "I'm gonna tell Daddy!"
Merry and Pippin where standing away form everyone, they were afraid after all. But then they were not so nicely taken away by a group of Uruk-Hai. These beasts were teasing them on the way to Isengard.They were saying hobbits are very tiny and short, and therefor means they aren't too well equipt. But, Merry and Pippin noticed, they couldn't talk.
The sounds of "But sir, that costs extra!" were coming from Aragorn's tent. Gimli was more than mildly disturbed by this. Especially when the grunts that came in reply were very feminine. If Arwen was busy stamping her foot and throwing a tantrum on the river bank, then who was in the tent with Aragorn (And since when did he charge? He used to give it away in his youth..)
Suddenly, a very distressed Boromir ran out of the tent, sobbing. "Stop making fun of my voice! I decided I wanted to be a professional singer the other night while I was drunk, testicle removal was the only way to stop my voice from breaking!" Aragorn followed Bormir outside, sniggering. "You never paid me, Boromir!" Boromir replied "Jerk!" sounding uncannily like Galadriel had when she had said the same to him.
Unfortunately, Boromir, in his distress, was not watching where he ran. He ran straight into another pack of Uruk, and his girlish screams were heard from miles away.
Aragorn, crying, ran up to Boromir. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I ever made fun of your, er, aspiration to be a singer."
"I would have counted you my brother.. My rentboy.. My french maid."
Aragorn was vaguely disturbed - Boromir really -did- have a thing for role-play.
As Boromir died dramatically and triumphantly, Aragorn was able to hold one last make-out session.
"Gimli!" A cry rang out from a few feet away "What ARE you doing to my, er, not-so-little hobbit?!"
"I'm, er, tasting it for diseases, Legolas!"
"Yeah, right."
Boronir suddenly sat up "Don't flatter yourself, it's not that big!"
Aragorn turned back to Boromir. "You are supposed to be dead, shut up!"
"I'm not dead."
"Well, you're very ill, you'll be dead soon." Said Aragorn annoyedly.
"I'm getting better!"
"No, you're not."
"I feel happy!!"
Aragorn was getting pretty pissed off around about now.
"You're not fooling anyone you know."
"I think I'll go for a walk."
"Look, "Aragorn said to Gimli. "Can you do me a favor?"
Gimli strode up to Boromir, took his ax handle and hit him over the head, killing him.
"Thanks."
And the three of them strode off happily into the sunset, Arwen running up and trailing behind them, saying she missed her teddy-bear.