A/N: Yes yes, I've updated! Happy already? Well anyway, I'm tickled pink that you all seem to be enjoying my story. Just a few random things I feel the need to clear up.
Firstly: Quite obviously ff.n doesn't allow NC 17 rated fics, which my story quite clearly is. But of course, I really couldn't give a fuck. I'm quite against censorship as a whole, which I feel ff.n is partaking of, but rather than protest against it by removing my stories and thus allowing them to continue the act of censorship, I will rather remain here and infiltrate and infest the system by staying right here and obeying the letter of their law. My story will not be rated NC 17, it will be rated R. Naturally I will not be editing my story in any way shape or form. If this results in children being too young for that sort of thing consequently reading my story, then maybe ff.n will lean their lesson that you cannot shape the world around you to fit your ideals. I am very sorry to burst their bubble, but yes, underage boys will continue to have sex no matter what they think, that's just the way of it. If my actions end up with me at any point being removed from ff.n then surely I will consider that a sad day. I have my own web page, however and I have your email addresses, so I will persevere.
Secondly: This whole debacle has made me realize that above all else, I value my reviewers. I am very saddened that my 112 reviews have all been erased (though I did save them on my computer and read them wistfully every once in a while) I would like to take this time, though to thank you all from the very bottom of my heart. It is for you all that I write this, so I would be quite the selfish bastard if I did not thank you all.
Thirdly: So! How many of you actually tried one of my sandwiches? I do indeed have a turkey sandwich fetish; they make me very hot and bothered, for whatever reason I do not know. I dream is of one day meeting a lovely woman with whom I can share an experience much like I wrote in the previous chapter. So for all of you who wondered, "What kind of sick and twisted fetishist is writing this piece?" Now you know. I also have a honey fetish. Despite the fact that I am a lesbian, I have had an odd recurring fantasy of having Draco naked before me and covered in honey just for me to lick it all off! I try to suppress my little boy fantasies, though. And I am sorry if I offended you, but there you have it. I'm pretty sure that if you've made it this far in my story, you've already figured out that I am completely off my rocker. Sad but completely true!
A Rather Randy Christmas Centerpiece
"Good Heavens! If this is what the House Elves thought up for a centerpiece for Christmas Eve, I can't wait to see what's in store for tomorrow!"
As it is well known, Dumbledore is a complete sucker for outlandish holiday decorations and therefore was more than willing to allow the House Elves free reign in creating Christmas centerpieces that usually tended to increase exponentially in their extravagance. And naturally, the House Elves being eccentric as they are, Hogwarts has come to see some of the most unusual centerpieces known to man. It is safe to say, though, that students and staff alike have come to accept this, no matter how odd the centerpiece got. As a matter of fact, since the addition of Dobby to the staff of Hogwarts, the Centerpieces managed to become even stranger than imaginable, usually involving Christmas themes socks in some peculiar configuration. This naturally continued to please Dumbledore even more than ever.
This fine Christmas Eve morning, though, it was silently decided that nothing they would ever see in their entire lives would top this particular festive arrangement. Every single mouth hung open and every pair of eyes was bulging at the green and red centerpiece before them. Curled up like a pair of kittens were Harry Potter in his Gryffindor red pajamas and Draco Malfoy in his Slytherin green ones. Draco was resting on top of Harry with his head tucked underneath Harry's chin, one of Harry's hands lazily tangled in Draco's hair and the other for whatever unknown reason tucked halfway under the waistband of Draco's pajama bottoms, laying on his bottom not so far down as to make it seem perverted but just far down enough to make one wonder what it was doing there. Though Draco was in fact drooling lightly on Harry's chest, neither seemed to notice, as they were quite solidly asleep. Both did appear to be enjoying each other's company, even in their sleep, as they both had identical smiles lightly spread across their lips.
Not sure if it were a joke or not, one of the young Hufflepuffs prodded at Draco. Getting no response, the unfortunate child proceeded tickle Draco roughly on his side. If being brutally thwacked on the nose was the response the young Hufflepuff was looking for, then the mission was most certainly accomplished. Rubbing his sore nose the Hufflepuff muttered, "I guess they're real." The Hufflepuff next to him nodded his agreement.
Having rid himself of the irritation threatening to wake him, Draco continued to sleep on, as did Harry, nuzzling each other lightly in their sleep. Everyone was now a bit hesitant to further irritate the slumbering Christmas Centerpiece.
"Numqum titilandus Draco dormiens," Dumbledore said sagely.
"School motto," one of the Ravenclaws informed pompously in response to the Hufflepuff's confused look. "Never tickle a sleeping Draco."
"Dragon, I think you'll find," the second Ravenclaw interjected, not one to pass up an opportunity to correct anyone's Latin translation. The first Ravenclaw simply glared, being very put out that anyone should question his intellectual abilities.
After that, however, breakfast passed very quietly save for the light snorings of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. No one was willing to further irritate the sleeping Slytherin; having seen first hand that it could be detrimental at the least.
It was all around uneventful until halfway through breakfast when Draco yawned and stretched, rolling off of Harry where he had up till that point been resting peacefully, and onto the headmaster's breakfast. Now fully awake, lying in an omelet, and staring up at the headmaster, Draco did the first thing that came into his mind and started spewing out a whole slew of obscenities. The two first year Hufflepuffs instantly had their ears covered, one by a Ravenclaw prefect, and the other by Professor McGonagall.
Harry himself was then rudely awakened by his sometimes lover and sandwich sharer screaming, "what the fuck are you all looking at?" loudly next to his ear. It was then that it occurred to him too that he'd just woken up with Draco Malfoy on the breakfast table, surrounded by more curious onlookers than anyone would normally feel comfortable with. For a while he was too stunned to do anything other than lie there and listen to Draco loudly express his dissatisfaction with the whole experience in rather crass, if not varied, terminology. When Draco got to "I'm a fucking Malfoy for Fuck's sake! Can't I get a little fucking sleep without the whole fucking school watching me like a bunch of fucking…." Harry decided that someone ought to silence the irate Slytherin. It did seem that most of those present at the table were far too shocked to do anything other than stare open mouthed, except Dumbledore, who seemed at the moment to be far more amused to be in possession of a plateful of cussing Slytherin than anyone in their right mind really ought to be. Harry realized then that if anyone was going to shut Draco up, it was bound to be him. Harry clamped his hand down over Draco's mouth before the entirety of the staff and the four students present learned exactly what "the fuck" it was that Draco thought of them.
"Draco would you shut up! As much as I'm sure we're all fascinated by your stunning grasp of the English language and all of its intricacies, now is not the time!" When Draco finally finished struggling against Harry's hold on him, Harry continued. He leaned close to Draco's ear and spoke in a low whisper, hoping in vain to avoid being overheard. Naturally as it was a small gathering of people, all deathly silent in hopes of learning what it was that had lead the Prince of Slytherin and the Boy-Who-Lived to be sleeping in each other's arms on the breakfast table, Harry couldn't help but be overheard.
"Look Malfoy, I'm quite positive that I remember everything that we did last night," Draco blushed at the memory of a particularly exciting turkey and cranberry sandwich they shared at one point, "and I'm quite positive that I at no point fell asleep on the Breakfast table, with you or otherwise. So do care to explain just how I got here?"
"You're not blaming me are you?" Draco demanded, having finally released his mouth from Harry's grasp. "I assure you that I had nothing to do with this!"
"Well boys, maybe you could explain exactly what it was that you had done last night and maybe we can all help figure out how this all came to pass," Dumbledore suggested helpfully.
McGonagall and the Ravenclaw prefect immediately covered the Hufflepuff's ears once again.
"Nothing like that, you sickos!" Harry shouted out.
To everyone's surprise, McGonagall didn't say a word in response to being called a sicko. She was in fact, still rather embarrassed that it was not too long ago when she'd been caught checking out the assets of The-Boy-Who-Lived.
Harry turned away from McGonagall and towards the headmaster.
"Well you see, sir, Malfoy and I had met last night in the kitchens…."
"Entirely by chance of course!"
"Oh yes, it was purely coincidence, I assure you!" Harry spoke in his most pure and innocent Savior of the Wizarding World voice. Either Dumbledore didn't notice the snort coming from Snape or he chose to ignore it.
"But you see, Potter was making a turkey sandwich…" Draco was blushing once again.
"Well the details aren't important, but the thing is that we did eat a rather lot of Turkey sandwiches…." Harry continued, blushing himself.
"Turkey Sandwiches?" Dumbledore questioned, seeking clarity.
"Oh, well they were really good Turkey Sandwiches!" Draco offered, as if this statement would clear everything up.
"But, well you see, I guess we fell asleep."
"Turkey Sandwiches will do that to you, sir, it's true! They have some sort of chemical in them!"
Dumbledore looked up at the Potions Professor who simply nodded, reluctantly saying, "I believe there is truth to what the boy says."
Dumbledore looked back at the two pajama clad boys sitting on the table. "Let me guess, you fell asleep on one of the tables in the kitchen?"
The two boys nodded, slightly confused as to how Dumbledore knew.
"It's quite obvious, then. It seems that the House Elves must have set the table around you two and you apparated up with everything else! Now, why don't you two get down off the table and join us for breakfast." The headmaster smiled kindly and pointed to two vacant seats next to each other at the end of the table.
The two boys awkwardly managed to crawl off the table, spilling over only one goblet of Pumpkin juice and tipping over only one bowl of scrambled eggs. Once off the table, Harry brushed the remnants of Dumbledore's omelet off of Draco's backside and the two sat down. The whole experience was so embarrassing that Draco would have preferred to not have to sit alongside Harry, but there truly were no other seats at the table.
-Knowing Dumbledore, he probably planned it that way- Draco thought irritably.
"Well, now that we've settled that, we can all resume out breakfast. But first, it seems that Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy have deprived us of out centerpiece."
With that dammed twinkle in his eye and a clap of his hands, two small figures appeared in the center of the table, a Dragon and a Lion, which instantly cuddled up next to each other. Harry and Draco blushed as everyone else sniggered. The joke would have been embarrassing enough for the Slytherin and the Gryffindor, but to make things worse, when the Lion licked the Dragon affectionately on the nose, the two of them got, for lack of a better word, frisky. At this point, the responses were much more varied. Dumbledore, of course, just smiled inanely, as if a Dragon and a Lion attempting to get it on was the most natural thing in the world to have as a Christmas Centerpiece. Snape merely looked away, pretending that he didn't get the insinuation. McGonagall's eyes opened wide, for the first time indicating a realization of what really had enabled Harry to be magically tied to a chair while no where near his wand. The Hufflepuffs just looked confused. The Ravenclaws were quite quick, of course and looked positively scandalized. Hagrid, much to Draco's revulsion, grinned and winked! Trelawny gasped and pronounced it to be a sign of the apocalypse. Pomphry tutted and made a mental note to have a chat with Dumbledore very soon about installing a sexual education program at Hogwarts. Madame Hooch scooted away from the table and wondered if it were at all hygienic for them to be eating off of it. Draco sank down into his chair and tried to die by just willing it to happen. Harry, on the other hand, jumped out of his seat and slammed his hands down on the table.
"You all appall me! All that Malfoy and I did was fall asleep after a late night snack! What on earth would possess you to believe it was anything other than what we had said? It was just a snack!"
The whole table was shocked into silence by Harry's outburst, so none of them missed it when Draco spoke, no matter how quietly he whispered his comment.
"All it was to you was a snack?"
Draco, quite frankly, couldn't believe that he'd just said that, and neither could Harry. When Harry saw the hurt look on Draco's face, though, everyone else at the table got left forgotten.
"Well, it was, wasn't it?" Harry said equally quietly. "It was just you and I eating some turkey sandwiches together."
"I don't know about you, Potter, but when I share a turkey sandwich with someone, it means a hell of a lot more to me than just a 'snack' But maybe I've mistaken you, maybe I was just one in a long line of people with whom you've shared turkey sandwiches. I can't believe you let me make my turkey Pesto club for you if you knew it meant nothing to you!"
"Draco, I'm sorry…I just never dreamt that it meant that much to you. I mean…I thought it was just me. I swear to god, you were the only person I've ever let taste my Honeyed Turkey Sandwich!"
"Really? You're not just saying that?"
"I'm not just saying that. I…I couldn't imagine sharing a sandwich with anyone else."
The two boys smiled shyly at each other and sat back down, glad that that was settled, and started eating their breakfasts. They managed to remain completely unaware of the rest of the table which was staring at them unabashedly, every last one of them now thoroughly confused. Except for Dumbledore, naturally, who continued to show a disturbing level of sheer delight.
"Lovers' quarrels are swift to mend," he said wistfully.
The response was thunderous. Draco and Harry jumped up from the table, knocking their chairs over in their haste. Draco screamed, "I'm not gay!" And Harry likewise screamed, "I'm not in love with him!" Though their protestations were indeed loud, the high pitched natures of their screaming and the fact that they spoke simultaneously while running in opposite directions out of the Great Hall left their words for the most part lost on everyone.
Madame Pomphry silently added that a psychologist and perhaps even a relationship counselor would also be recommended additions to the staff at Hogwarts. Dumbledore simply wondered if he could convince one of the House Elves to make a Honeyed Turkey Sandwich for him.
*****
Draco ran all the way to the Slytherin dorms where he jumped in his bed and pulled the covers up over his head. It was extremely juvenile, but he really wasn't in the mood to care.
//So what's got your knickers in a bunch now?//
"You know very well what's upsetting me! Everyone thinks I'm gay!"
**Well, you are**
"No I'm not!" Draco whined.
##I don't want to seem patronizing here, but you do know what 'gay' means don't you?##
"Of course I do, don't be a jerk."
##Okay, then maybe you could explain to us just how it is that you think you're not gay?##
"Well for one, I've dated Pansy Parkinson! I'm pretty sure that makes me straight, thank you very much!"
^^Ah! That's a very interesting point you bring up! How about you tell us a little about Pansy?^^
"You want me to talk about Pansy?"
//Yes, that's an excellent idea. Think of it as a sort of therapy session, but with us instead of Dr Braunson//
"Um, okay. Well, Pansy is…a girl. She's blond I guess. She asked me out in fourth year. Total bitch of course, she dumped me just 'cause I wouldn't sleep with her! I mean what's up with that? Excuse me for not being ready!"
**That's all very fascinating. Would you mind informing us how long you dated her?**
"Uh…three years, I think."
^^And in those three years you never once wanted to sleep with her!?^^
"Well no! I mean, ew! She was always trying to push herself on me; she'd show up wearing practically nothing and spend the whole evening trying to shove her boobs in my face, like that's really gonna get me to want to lay her! She was just totally delusional!"
//Hmmm, interesting….Now in the past I'm sure you've thought about having sex, and most likely dreamt about it. Why don't you tell us about your sex dreams?//
"Well, I did actually have this occasional kinky dream about sleeping with Pansy. It was really your basic sex dream. We'd get all hot and bothered and start ripping our clothes off and she'd start fucking me. Just a standard sex dream, nothing really out of the ordinary."
**Okay, forgive me for being perhaps a bit slow, but could you clarify for us all what you meant by she started fucking you?**
"God how stupid are you guys? I mean that after the usual randiness and snogging, she'd flip me over and fuck me! It's not that hard to figure out!"
##Okay, I've just got to cut in here. Now of course I realize that you had never actually had sex with a girl before, and perhaps you had never quite figured out where all the bits and pieces go, but did it never occur to you that it's physically impossible for a girl to 'flip you over and fuck you'?##
"Hey it was a dream! I mean, I once dreamt that the Stinky Cheese Man was trying to kill me, but that doesn't mean that I really think that the Stinky Cheese Man exists!"
(A/N: Pay attention to your dreams all you questioning youths! I would have figured out that I was gay much sooner if I had stopped to contemplate the fact that having a dream about sleeping with a guy doesn't really count if the guy's got boobs and a pussy! I still don't know what the Stinky Cheese Man dream meant, though….)
//Hey, we're not trying to attack you here or anything; we're just having a rational conversation. But one more thing, could you tell us a little bit about Pansy's boobs in your dream?//
"Erm…I really can't remember seeing them. I'm not entirely sure she had any."
##So you're telling us that in these recurring sex dreams with Pansy, that she had no boobs and a dick!?##
"Well…I wouldn't put it quite that way. Look can we not talk about Pansy anymore? And can you guys make number four leave me alone?"
^^Of course Draco, that's fine. Number four, be good! I was about to change the subject anyway; I think we've dwelled on girl talk for long enough. Why don't you just say a few words about Harry Potter, though?^^
"Harry? Why do you want to talk about him?"
^^Just a few words, okay? Whatever comes into your head. No pressure^^
"Well I don't know, I mean he's your basic Savior of the Wizarding World, isn't he? He's your basic Perfect Boy. He's got that hair that just has to be the perfect shade of black, and those stupid perfect eyes that are the world's most perfect shade of green. You know, the type that practically glows in the dark? Oh, and of course his skin is freaking perfect too, not a single freckle or blemish or anything. Except for that scar on his forehead, and you know, even that's perfect. What's up with that!? He's got this one physical imperfection, which on anyone else would be nothing more than a disfiguring scar, yet he has the audacity to make it actually seem sexy! And he goes on acting like he doesn't know any of this, but oh, he knows exactly what he's doing. It's positively disgusting! Every single action that he makes is strategically planned to make sure that guys like me know exactly how perfect he is. Have you seen him ride a broom? Have you!? The way he leans into the freaking broom with his back arched just so in that lewd manner. And the way he actually caresses his broom in his hand is positively obscene! And he does it all on purpose! It's no wonder that he always catches the snitch before anyone else! No one stands a chance with him flying about like freaking sex on a broom! And God! Don't even get me started on his eating habits! That should honestly be enough to get him sent permanently to Azkaban! All that licking of his fingers and the way he freaking moans between bites! It's perverse! And the way he makes a sandwich! I tell you, that boy's no innocent; he knows how to handle a butter knife, that's for certain! And a wand! God, you just can't look at him when he's in charms class! It's enough to make Dumbledore blush! Actually it's pretty much the same in all of his classes. Anytime he gets a quill in his hand he just can't leave it alone like normal people do, he's got to play with it and put it is his freaking mouth! And that goddammed tongue of his! I mean, do you see normal people licking everything in their sight? No! It's just not natural! Did Pansy even lick me once? No, thank god! But Harry Potter seems to think that he can come up and lick anyone or anything anytime he chooses! Why? Because he's Harry Freaking Potter, the Savior of the Wizarding World and if he wants to lick someone, then the whole world had better stop and let him! I mean, how did he ever get it into his head that just cause you saved the Wizarding World from ruin means that you can go about seducing anyone you want? That's why the whole world bends over backwards for Harry Fucking Potter! He's got everyone totally seduced so that they're all begging for a chance to be fucked by the wonderful Harry Potter! That's all he cares about. He doesn't fight for good over evil! He's just out there acting the perfect part and waiting for his next victim, the next poor unsuspecting fellow that he can seduce with just one half lidded glance from those fucking perfect green eyes! And you know what? That's what he gets off on! The knowledge that he can reduce a regular guy like me into a quivering pile of patheticness just begging to be fucked by him! And if that isn't just PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL I don't know what is!!!!"
Draco finished his tirade somewhat tired and out of breath from all the shouting. After a long stunned silence, one of the voices finally spoke up.
//So what you're saying is that you hate Harry Potter because he makes you hot and bothered?//
"Yes! He goes around making perfectly normal straight guys like me think that we're gay! He does it just out of spite and just to make our lives miserable! One day we think we're a normal healthy boy who goes for girls and the next day we meet Harry Potter and BAM he goes and gets us totally choking for it from him! That is EVIL and that's all there is to it!"
^^I can't help but notice that you seem to think that this is a habitual action on his part, making lots of guys think they want to go to bed with Harry.^^
"Well I can't be the only one can I? His actions are way to obvious, a guy would have to be blind to not get hot and bothered as soon as Harry walks into a room! It's all part of his dastardly plan to take over the world, I'm telling you!"
**I can't help but beg to differ with you here, Draco. I really don't think that Harry's got the whole male population of the Wizarding World "begging for it" so to speak. I actually have reason to believe that it's only you. You are in fact the only guy he's ever slept with.**
"It can't possibly be only me! But if it is, then I'm in more trouble than I thought! That would mean that he's singled me out as the top guy on his hit list! My God! What am I going to do? He's out to get me!" Draco was starting to look truly panicked now, struck with the terror than can only come from believing that one of the most powerful young wizards in the world had singled you out as his prey.
##Jesus get a grip Draco! It's completely obvious that the reason you are susceptible to his charms is because YOU ARE GAY! I'm sorry but straight guys just don't get all hot and bothered over Harry Potter, no matter what he does with his wand!##
"But…but…I can't be gay…."
//I'm sorry hon, but that's the way it is//
**Out of curiosity, when was the first time that you noticed that Harry got you hot and bothered?**
"Uh, first year, when I met him in Madame Maulkin's shop," Draco admitted pathetically.
^^That's so sad! You mean you've had a crush on him this whole time, but you've hated him because of it?^^
"I…I guess so. You sure it's just me and not just a ploy to take over the world?"
//Positive. The only reason he affects you the way he does is purely because you fancy him. I really don't think he does it on purpose either. Quite frankly, you may be the only guy alive who would get a hard on while watching Harry Potter eat toast//
Draco paused to think wistfully of Harry's peculiar eating habits, smiling and beginning to feel a bit warm in the nether regions at the thought of Harry's tongue lapping up errant trails of honey.
"Oh My God. I'm gay. And I have a crush on Harry Potter!" Draco looked as though the whole world as he knew it suddenly altered off of its regular course through reality. Draco's eyes opened wide in a flash of understanding and in an instant he jumped out of bed so quickly that he left behind all the voices in his head to wonder just what it was that Draco was on about. All the voices, that is, except for voice number five who suddenly popped full force into the forefront of Draco's mind with a newfound commanding presence.
~All right Draco! Let's go get him!~
*****
Harry was sitting forlornly in the Gryffindor commons room. Despite himself, he couldn't stop thinking about Draco. Well, to be perfectly honest, he wasn't even trying to stop thinking about him. It was all he wanted to do. He had run back to his dorms, all the way thinking about Draco. He had taken a shower, thinking about Draco. He had gotten dressed while thinking about Draco. And now he sat in the commons room doing absolutely nothing but thinking about Draco. Although, he was doing something else if you could claim that staring at a tiny dot labeled "Draco Malfoy" on his Maurader's Map counted as doing something other than thinking about Draco. For quite some time he saw that Draco was just sitting still in his bedroom, presumably in his bed if Harry could remember the configurations of the room properly. To anyone else it would have seemed mind-numbingly boring to stare at an unmoving dot on a map, but the fact that it was Draco made the activity absolutely riveting to Harry for whatever reason.
//Hey Harry, what's wrong? You've been staring at that dot for a ridiculously long time now.//
"Oh, I don't know," Harry said to himself. "I'm just thinking about Draco."
//Heh, anyone would think you were in love with him, you know.//
"Me? In love with Draco? Get real. //
//Sure, that's what it looks like to me. Obviously you can't stop thinking about him.//
"He's an arrogant prick, though! Everyone knows that! Although, sure he's hotter than hell, who wouldn't want his body?"
//Yeah, but I'm not talking about Draco's body. I've got a suspicion deep down inside that you really care for the boy.//
"You're delusional."
//Am I? I'm not the one sitting here mooning over Draco. //
"I'm not mooning over anyone, least of all Draco." Harry said almost bitterly.
//No? Then tell me, what were you thinking about him, just now?//
"I…I was thinking a lot of things, really…"
//Name one. //
"I was thinking about…making sandwiches with him."
//Well, that has nothing to do with wanting Draco's body, does it?//
"It…it does, I think…."
//No Harry, it doesn't. It sounds like you just really liked spending time with him.//
"So? I fail to see your point."
//My point is, that right now you're mooning over Draco because you want him to be here with you. //
"But, I hate him. How can I want to be with him when he makes me so angry?"
//Think about this carefully Harry. Are you angry with him when he's around, or when he's not around? I mean, the last time you were really angry with Draco, what was the reason?//
"I was angry with him when he left me here tied up."
//Exactly. Tied up, alone. If he hadn't done that you wouldn't have been angry with him at all, would you?//
"Well of course not! Because then I wouldn't have been tied up alone in the commons room!"
//Although currently you're not exactly chipper right now are you?//
"No of course I'm not! I'm sitting all by myself in the commons room!"
//Although this time, Draco had nothing to do with it did he?//
"Well of course he's got something to do with it! I wouldn't be alone right now if he weren't being a prat and sitting by himself in the Slytherin dorms! He's just a prat and there's nothing to do about it!"
//But he wasn't a prat last night when you and he were making sandwiches together?//
"Well duh! Then he hadn't left me by myself in the commons room!"
//So you admit that you are upset with him when he isn't around?//
"I….Uh…Oh Crap!" Harry's eyes suddenly widened to twice their usual size. "Oh Holy Fuck!"
//Now you're beginning to see it!//
"But this is horrible! I'm in love with Draco!"
//Why is it horrible?//
"Because…because…I don't know. Cause I'm sitting here and he's on the other side of the school ignoring me. I can't be in love with Draco! It'll ruin me! He'll never want to be with me! I'll be alone forever!"
//Harry, why don't you pay closer attention to the map?//
Harry had been staring down at the map the whole time, but he wasn't really registering what he was seeing. The little dot labeled Draco had recently started moving again, darting around in quick, frantic movements around the room. It was now running very quickly in a straight line right out of the Slytherin dorms. If Harry couldn't clearly see that there was no one else around him, Harry would have suspected that he was running away from someone.
"What's he doing?" Harry asked, but he could very soon see the answer for himself. It became apparent that Draco was running as fast as he could straight towards the Gryffindor dorms.
"My god. He's coming here!" In a split second Harry was out of his seat and bolting out the door, all the while gripping the map to make sure that he was headed straight for Draco.
*****
Draco's head, despite the fact that he now saw certain things far clearer than he ever had in his entire life, was in a complete muddle. All he knew was that he wanted to go and see Harry. Now. After hopping out of bed he franticly ran about his room, trying to figure out what to do next.
"Should I get dressed? Do I need to take a shower? Maybe I should brush my hair at least? And what should I wear? Oh God! I have no idea what to wear! Does Harry like me in black? Should I dress up or down? I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!"
~Get a hold of yourself man!~
"I can't! I'm too nervous! What if I make a fool of myself in front of Harry!"
~Look, think of it this way, Harry's already seen you in a dress, he's seen you drunk, he's seen you with honey dripping down your face, he's seen you lying in an omelet, he's even seen you with bed-head, I don't think that you can go down from there!~
"Is that supposed to be comforting?"
~What I'm getting at is that now is not the time to be worrying about getting ready. I advise hightailing out of here just as you are and finding Harry as quickly as possible. Worry about the details later. Okay?~
"Oh. Okay."
And with that agreed upon, Draco ran as fast as he could, barefoot and still in his pajamas and with his hair sticking up at all sorts of odd angles, straight for the Gryffindor dormitories.
*****
As Draco quickly rounded a corner in his frantic flight to find Harry, he did just that. With a smack Harry and Draco ran into each other and, loosing their balance, fell to the ground; Draco sprawled on top of the gorgeous Gryffindor.
"What the fuck?" was the first response that flew from Draco's mouth, but after a flash second he realized that he'd managed by sheer accident to find himself exactly where he meant to be, on top of Harry Potter.
"Good lord Draco, I was just going ask if you wanted to hang out with me, but if you want to go straight to the fucking, that's fine with me."
Draco blushed rather more sweetly that Harry ever thought possible, but he didn't venture to move off of his perch on top of the famous Harry Potter.
"I…I was just coming to ask you the same."
"Ask to hang out or ask to fuck? 'Cause I'm honestly amenable to either suggestion."
Despite the ever-increasing blush, Draco valiantly continued.
"I mean….I was just going to…um…ask you out actually." Draco was now going bright red. He hadn't planned on asking Harry out at all. As a matter of fact, that was something that his dignity usually forbade. Lying on top of Harry, however seemed to succeed in resulting not only in allowing him to throw precedence to the wind, but it also seemed to be throwing all of Draco's brain cells out with it.
"Ask me out?" This was definitely unexpected to Harry. No doubt he had hoped that Draco would be willing to hang out with him for a while, and quite frankly he even expected as much as a quick grope if not a proper fuck, but he honestly never expected Draco Malfoy to ever ask him out!
"I…uh…I mean…was that the wrong thing to ask?" Draco was getting very worried all of a sudden. He had no idea really how these things worked. It's not like there's a handbook for boys telling you how to make advances on you arch nemesis with whom you are amorously infatuated.
"Well, do you mean 'ask out' in the puerile sense of walking to class holding hands or in the actually go out on a date sense?"
"Erm, both?" Draco said hesitantly.
"You want to walk to class holding my hand!?"
"Well that wasn't specifically what I had in mind. I mean, classes aren't even in session right now, are they?"
"Um…no, I guess they aren't. So…What exactly were you thinking?"
"I don't really think I was thinking at all to be perfectly honest. I…can't really find my brain just now."
"No?"
"No. Not really."
~Hey, Draco. I know I told you earlier not to worry about looking like a fool, but um, I would suggest that you maybe work on that a little bit. If I were you I'd think about doing anything other than staring at Harry like an idiot.~
This seemed to Draco to be perhaps a good idea. Since he honestly couldn't find his brain for long enough to come up with anything even halfway intelligent to say, he put his mouth to the best use he could think of with as little thinking involved as possible. He closed the small gap between himself and Harry and pressed his mouth hesitantly down on top of Harry's own wonderful, wonderful mouth.
"Oh!" was all Harry could think of to say once their lips separated. "I think I just lost my brain as well. Is this normal?"
"I don't know. It's never happened to me before."
This time it was Harry who closed the distance, grabbing firmly onto Draco's head and pulling their lips together in a slightly more surer kiss than before.
"So Draco, have you figured out what you meant by asking me out?"
"Uh…I think I want to hold hands."
"What!?" Harry couldn't help but laugh.
"I mean…I think I want to go out with you in the sense where I…uh…you know…get to be your boyfriend."
"So…you want to be an item? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yeah…I think so…"
"You don't want to test the waters first by taking me out on a date?"
"We can do that too. Are you saying that you're not sure if you want to be my boyfriend?"
"I'm not necessarily saying that. I'm quite honestly surprised that you want to be mine, though."
"Well I really didn't mean to ask you out, it just happened."
"Oh." Harry's face fell. "So shall I just forget that you ever said it?"
"No! What I meant was that I'd just come to see if you…fancied a fuck…." For all the times that Draco had used that word today alone, it truly surprised Harry to see him blushing as he said it now. "But you were so…beautiful really…and I just all of a sudden pictured you and I walking to Hogsmede together holding hands."
"So you do want a date?"
"Yeah, I guess so…. Would you fancy going to Hogsmede with me, Harry Potter?"
"I'd love to!" Harry punctuated his acquiescence with a kiss.
It was quite some time before the two of them managed to stop kissing and get up off the floor, but finally it was the prospect of going on their first official date together than convinced them to get up.
"Draco…you're still wearing your pajamas!"
"Er….yeah…I was in such a hurry to see you that I really couldn't be bothered to change," he admitted sheepishly.
Harry felt a sudden warm swelling in his chest and kissed Draco once again.
"Well why don't we go and get you some real clothes on and then we can go to Hogsmede, okay?"
"Okay. But, uh…is it okay if….I dress you?"
"What?"
"Well honestly Harry, this outfit is awful, where did you come up with it? I mean, that particular shade of blue should never be mixed with that awful shade of brown."
Harry blushed as his new boyfriend dragged him off to the Slytherin dormitories to be trussed up like a living doll.
"Just one thing, though, Draco…Please don't put me in that silly green dress!"
Harry worried slightly when he saw Draco pout in disappointment, but he followed him anyway.
*****
A/N: The next chapter really oughtn't take too long to get out. Draco and Harry will go out on their date and hopefully get laid more than once in the process! Please leave a review! I'm starting from scratch in that department and it's kind of embarrassing looking!