Chapter One - No Cake
This isn't going to be a normal year, he told himself. He knew in the back of his head it couldn't possibly be a normal year. Lord Voldemort was back to spread terror amongst witches and wizards, and Harry couldn't do a darn thing to stop him. Although, he knew the year was going to be weird, he couldn't help thinking about the usual things that happen at a Hogwarts school year for him. The usual year had a normal roll-up: first Harry would be really popular because of the last year's events, then he would discover someone was trying to kill him (especially if a house-elf was involved). After which Draco Malfoy would accuse him of being a neurotic-self-centred freak (which of course would catch on like wildfire), then he would become really unpopular because everyone would think he was really full of himself. All the while either he, Ron or Hermione would have argued and wouldn't be talking to each other but would be working with each other to find out who was plotting to murder Harry. They would think it was Professor Snape, which Hagrid would dismiss but imply something weird. Ron and Hermoine would fall unconscious after Harry's murderer-to-be smashed them over the head with a mean spell. Harry would find the dude, discover that it was the least likely person and have a conversation over a cup of tea about why he was trying to do what he was trying to do. After the conversation ends, the wizard would try to kill Harry and in the process, Prof. Dumbledore would walk into the room and arrest the wizard without saying a word to Harry. Later on as Professor McGonnagal becomes an emotional wreck, Dumbledore would explain what happened and they'd share a moment in his office. Harry would be excused from the exams and thus mysteriously pass. Of course after this, Harry would become the most popular thing in the school since sliced tomato puree. Hermione would reveal what she had been secretly doing all year and all would end well. As much as Harry hated his yearly routine, he didn't want it to be what he thought it was going to be. He imagined Dumbledore becoming the emotional wreck whilst Professor McGonnagal trying to hold up the school. He thought of giants hanging about the school because of the alliance Dumbledore was planning. He could also see the ministry of magic trying to close the school down. This would be while Draco Malfoy would be laughing loudly about it. Harry cringed at the thought of Draco's irritatingly high-pitched laugh. But at Pivet Drive, things were far different from the images of the world of magic. Aunt Petunia had discovered letters from a certain Davina "R-r-r- rowley" (as she signed of) in her husband's jacket as she put it into the wash. Aunt Petunia proceeded to ask Uncle Vernon about Ms. Rowley's letter. There was a small earthquake at the Dursley residence as Uncle Vernon yelled about how Aunt Petunia "shouldn't be going through my private things!" Uncle Vernon said he needed some fresh air, left the house and came back two days later. He had obviously calmed down, because he explained to Aunt Petunia that Davina was a secretary at the office who had a small crush on him. Although Harry couldn't possible understand how any woman could have a crush (whether big or small) on Uncle Vernon - let alone marry him - Aunt Petunia forgave him and no one spoke of it. Dudley seemed to be in a pretty good mood what with all the drama in the house. Harry assumed it was because Aunt Petunia had been too embroiled in the action to remember Dudley was still on a diet, and fed him more than usual. On his birthday, Harry wasn't expecting any celebration, or even notice, from the Dursleys, but he was expecting at least a card from Hermione or Ron. He made sure he left his window open in case they sent an owl, although Ron's owl would probably fit through the smallest crevice in the front door. When the day was getting late, Harry sent Hedwig with a message to Ron just to remind him of his birthday and that he was EXPECTING something that day or the next day. Hedwig came back surprisingly fast, clutching a message in her talons. Harry opened the parchment and red the green ink:
Dear Harry Potter,
In order to ensure your safety, we have cast a charm to prevent any magic or magical creatures from crossing the barrier made around your home. Have a happy holiday and a happy birthday.
Sincerely
Deloris Dicey Security Supervisor The Ministry of Magic
P.S. Two suspicious characters, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, have sent you a cake and a card respectively. The cake is being investigated, and tastes lovely. But Mrs. Weasley hopes you "don't eat too little!"
Perfect, Harry thought to himself, now I'm practically alone. No friends and most importantly, no cake.
This isn't going to be a normal year, he told himself. He knew in the back of his head it couldn't possibly be a normal year. Lord Voldemort was back to spread terror amongst witches and wizards, and Harry couldn't do a darn thing to stop him. Although, he knew the year was going to be weird, he couldn't help thinking about the usual things that happen at a Hogwarts school year for him. The usual year had a normal roll-up: first Harry would be really popular because of the last year's events, then he would discover someone was trying to kill him (especially if a house-elf was involved). After which Draco Malfoy would accuse him of being a neurotic-self-centred freak (which of course would catch on like wildfire), then he would become really unpopular because everyone would think he was really full of himself. All the while either he, Ron or Hermione would have argued and wouldn't be talking to each other but would be working with each other to find out who was plotting to murder Harry. They would think it was Professor Snape, which Hagrid would dismiss but imply something weird. Ron and Hermoine would fall unconscious after Harry's murderer-to-be smashed them over the head with a mean spell. Harry would find the dude, discover that it was the least likely person and have a conversation over a cup of tea about why he was trying to do what he was trying to do. After the conversation ends, the wizard would try to kill Harry and in the process, Prof. Dumbledore would walk into the room and arrest the wizard without saying a word to Harry. Later on as Professor McGonnagal becomes an emotional wreck, Dumbledore would explain what happened and they'd share a moment in his office. Harry would be excused from the exams and thus mysteriously pass. Of course after this, Harry would become the most popular thing in the school since sliced tomato puree. Hermione would reveal what she had been secretly doing all year and all would end well. As much as Harry hated his yearly routine, he didn't want it to be what he thought it was going to be. He imagined Dumbledore becoming the emotional wreck whilst Professor McGonnagal trying to hold up the school. He thought of giants hanging about the school because of the alliance Dumbledore was planning. He could also see the ministry of magic trying to close the school down. This would be while Draco Malfoy would be laughing loudly about it. Harry cringed at the thought of Draco's irritatingly high-pitched laugh. But at Pivet Drive, things were far different from the images of the world of magic. Aunt Petunia had discovered letters from a certain Davina "R-r-r- rowley" (as she signed of) in her husband's jacket as she put it into the wash. Aunt Petunia proceeded to ask Uncle Vernon about Ms. Rowley's letter. There was a small earthquake at the Dursley residence as Uncle Vernon yelled about how Aunt Petunia "shouldn't be going through my private things!" Uncle Vernon said he needed some fresh air, left the house and came back two days later. He had obviously calmed down, because he explained to Aunt Petunia that Davina was a secretary at the office who had a small crush on him. Although Harry couldn't possible understand how any woman could have a crush (whether big or small) on Uncle Vernon - let alone marry him - Aunt Petunia forgave him and no one spoke of it. Dudley seemed to be in a pretty good mood what with all the drama in the house. Harry assumed it was because Aunt Petunia had been too embroiled in the action to remember Dudley was still on a diet, and fed him more than usual. On his birthday, Harry wasn't expecting any celebration, or even notice, from the Dursleys, but he was expecting at least a card from Hermione or Ron. He made sure he left his window open in case they sent an owl, although Ron's owl would probably fit through the smallest crevice in the front door. When the day was getting late, Harry sent Hedwig with a message to Ron just to remind him of his birthday and that he was EXPECTING something that day or the next day. Hedwig came back surprisingly fast, clutching a message in her talons. Harry opened the parchment and red the green ink:
Dear Harry Potter,
In order to ensure your safety, we have cast a charm to prevent any magic or magical creatures from crossing the barrier made around your home. Have a happy holiday and a happy birthday.
Sincerely
Deloris Dicey Security Supervisor The Ministry of Magic
P.S. Two suspicious characters, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, have sent you a cake and a card respectively. The cake is being investigated, and tastes lovely. But Mrs. Weasley hopes you "don't eat too little!"
Perfect, Harry thought to himself, now I'm practically alone. No friends and most importantly, no cake.